Somethings Never Change, Feelings Never Fade 2/?

Current WIP For @cosmic-metanoia's prompt of "I wonder how Joshua, Gav, & Mid were getting along on the Enterprise when separated from Clive and Jill"

Gav watched the massive bird swoop in front of them, placing himself firmly between the Enterprise and Odin. Not to say that Clive’s little brother wasn't brave, he was just damned near more daft than Clive himself. Constantly throwing himself into the same danger as his brother, but with a quarter of the muscle mass and a bad lung. But this? This was insanity. Odin had just dismantled his brother, the Eikon slayer, into a shred of ribbons the week before. And this skinny son of a bitch was the one who pulled him back together. Mending every limb, as if trying to un-carve a butchered bird. And by some miracle, up to his eyeballs in blood, the bastard had pulled it off. And now he was standing before Odin, ready for his turn. Who the hell did he think was going to patch him up? Is he out of his fucking mind?! Gav wondered, tossing a bucket of water onto the last fire and then scrambling to the bow to watch. No, of course he wasn't. He knew what he was risking. He knew he didn't stand a chance, just as Gav did, but he remembered the moment they'd noticed Odin appear. Joshua had moved instinctually in front of him and waved him away. He wasn't fighting Odin to win, he was fighting to keep him away from everyone else. Imagine that! The golden haired son of a duke that the breeze could knock over, and Gav cowered behind him like a little pup at the sight of Tharmr. That fucker better not die on our account!

i’m working on more joshua x reader i just haven’t had any time recently... thank u for being patient ;(

weight in gold

Joshua x Reader (Joshua with a crush vs incredibly socially unaware reader)

2045 words, fluff

Summary: You get a present for Joshua’s birthday and help him with it.

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When Clive called you over, you straightened your back and braced yourself, fully expecting another harsh assignment mandating having to travel halfway across the continent, brave the severe weather elements and bypass thirty different bloodthirsty monsters all to retrieve some rare leaf of some sort. You wished you could say this was an exaggeration, but… well, the previous assignment was leaving you a little sullen.

Jill was standing next to him, with a strange smile on her face. You liked Jill. But prior to calling you over, they’d been whispering to each other. You didn’t like that. Suspicious.

“Sorry for bothering you,” Clive began. You didn’t feel bothered, so you shook your head. “Did you know Joshua’s birthday is in a few days?”

No, you hadn’t. “When?”

“A week from now.” He judged your reaction, of which you didn’t have much of one, uncertain of what to do with this information. “Are you thinking of getting him anything?”

A birthday present.

You knew about the concept, but you weren’t terribly familiar with it. You’d never gotten one, because you didn’t know when your own birthday was; growing up an orphan tended to have that effect. As for others’ birthdays, you had a few friends from the Hideaway, but they had always insisted you shouldn’t concern yourself with it. In hindsight, it was probably out of pity for you. You weren’t sure how to feel about that. Whatever.

Joshua had always been good to you. You had a habit of injuring yourself along your line of work—not on purpose, just out of unfortunate clumsiness—and he had taken to finding you after you returned to nurse your wounds with the Phoenix’s fire. Multiple times you had told him it wasn’t necessary, but he had always waved you off.

Come to think of it, you didn’t see him doing the same for others, but you probably just were busy playing with Torgal and not around to see it.

You supposed you should get him something as a token of gratitude.

“I guess I will,” you affirmed.

Jill nudged Clive with her elbow and they exchanged funny-looking smiles. You did not pry.

…You did have a problem with money, though.

You considered something handmade, but you had discovered your fingers didn’t know how to cooperate with one another. Once you had had to sew your sleeve after it had gotten ripped in the wild, and you had poked your fingers till they were perforated.

You could probably figure something else out.

“What does he like, though?” You knew about his infamous disdain for carrots, but disappointingly you found it hard to recall what he appreciated.

Jill reached out to rest a hand on your shoulder, smile mysteriously amused. “I’m sure he’d appreciate anything you get for him.”

“...Really?” You quirked a brow at Clive. He knew his brother best, right?

Clive laughed, fingers fiddling with his earring.

You blinked.

As you watched Clive and Jill walk away, still speaking to each other in low, hushed voices, you found your hands full with a strange assignment.

…Why did they tell you this, anyway?

-------------

A week later, with your arms behind your back, you found Joshua where Clive told you where he would be—the infirmary, which was starting to become his bedroom at this point.

“Joshua?”

As usual, he was past the partition, red scarf and gloves removed as they normally were during Tarja’s treatment. When you hesitantly stepped into his view, his eyes lit up, and with the softest of smiles, he greeted you by your name.

It was supposedly his birthday, which was supposed to be his special day, from what you knew, but it felt like any other normal day—Clive and Joshua had just returned from one of their expeditions that had spanned a few days, and Tarja was tending to the leftover injuries and ills from that. (Clive too, but being much healthier and sturdier, was allowed to be up and about by then.)

You bowed to Tarja, who was on the other side treating someone else, on your way in and strode towards his bedside.

“How was your day?” he asked, eyes trained on yours. He was sat on the edge of the bed like always, as if poised to bolt out of the infirmary.

You cast your glance to the side, fidgeting. “I just had a short assignment.” You looked back at him. “Happy birthday.”

Surprise streaked across his features, brows raised. “Oh—thank you.” A pause, then he slowly continued, “How did you know? I don’t recall telling you.”

“Um, Clive and Jill told me.”

For some reason, Joshua looked exasperated at your answer.

You didn’t think too much about it. Swinging your arms to the front, you presented the small parcel that had been hidden behind your back. “I got you a present.”

His eyes brightened with a light that could illuminate a dozen cities. He extended his hands and slid them under yours, which carried the brown box, bowing his head forward until his forehead gently bumped the surface of the box.

“Thank you,” he said. With his face facing the floor, you couldn’t see what kind of expression he was making. (Hopefully, a smile.) “I can’t express with words how happy I am.”

That made you fuzzy inside to hear.

But you weren’t very sure how to respond. Joshua always had a bit of strange mannerisms—you felt they were strange, anyway, and Mid had agreed with you—because of his upbringing.

You really didn’t want to be rude, so you mimicked what you had seen Clive doing to him before: slipping a hand away from his grip, you reached up to stroke the golden locks on the top of his head. They felt silky, soft enough that you wondered if your fingers might accidentally slip in and fall somewhere.

…Was that just his skin tone, or were the tips of his ears a little red?

Joshua raised his head to look at you.

Jill had said anything would be fine, but a nagging feeling in you wondered if he would open it and hate it. Up until he was ten, he must’ve been lavishly pampered with gifts unthinkable to a normal person like you. And then being with the Undying, who had all but dedicated their entire lives to him… you didn’t really know, but whatever it was, what you had prepared for him was arguably the least impressive thing he was about to receive in his life.

All this manifested in a quiet mutter: “I’m not sure if you’ll like it.”

Joshua, wide-eyed, riposted, “Of course I will.”

“It’s a bit cheap.” Although it had cost about a painful chunk of your savings.

“And?” He waited for you to go on.

There was no “and”. You shook your head.

Joshua judged your reaction, then brought his hands over to clasp the box, retrieving it and bringing it closer to him. You weren’t touching anymore, and your hands dropped to your sides. They felt cold now. “May I open it?”

“Sure—I mean, it’s yours, so…”

His fingers deftly found the bottom of the lid, prying the top off slowly like it would rip to pieces if he went too fast. The lid popped off, and his breath hitched.

Clive and Joshua had starkly contrasting appearances; Clive rugged, firm and built for bloody battle, while Joshua with a delicate frame and enchanting features. But they were still brothers, and probably vaguely had some similar interests, and something Clive had and Joshua didn’t had piqued your interest.

You didn’t know if Joshua had ear piercings, so you had opted for clip-ons.

“They’re one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen,” he said, with so much sincerity that you almost felt every other sentence uttered to you in your life was a lie.

Tension you didn’t even know you had receded, and your shoulders finally dropped from where they’d been squared. “Really?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you.” He lifted them out with one hand with the fragility one would when handling precious stones—even though they were nothing close—and ran them over with his thumb. “I’ve received many gifts—countless, and especially extravagant before… well, during my childhood.” Before that fateful day at Phoenix Gate, was left unsaid. “Enough to be any aristocrat’s dream. But out of all of them, I think… no, I like this the most. Thank you.”

Truthfully, you were a bit perplexed. You’d bought them off a random peddler in a village close by to one of your assignment destinations, and as hopeless as you were with the finer things in life, even you could tell the material was cheap and the craftsmanship subpar. The edges were bumpy and uneven in some areas and the surface would probably completely tarnish in a few years. It was nothing to marvel at, so you didn’t know why he was looking at them with eyes full of wonder.

“I—was worried you wouldn’t want to wear them at all,” you confessed, folding your arms almost sheepishly. After witnessing Joshua’s reaction, you felt a little silly; he had never once breathed a ghost of a mean-spirited comment towards you. You shouldn’t have doubted him.

Joshua placed the box in his lap, then reached out to place a hand on your arm and squeeze it ever so lightly. “I would right now if I could.” He grinned a little hopelessly. “But I’d need a mirror. I’m not quite good at just feeling my way around my ears.”

“Oh.” Fair. “I can help you with that.”

Joshua’s stare froze on you and you wondered if you said something wrong.

“The lady who sold it to me showed me how to wear it, so I know how,” you added, hoping that would dispel some of his concerns.

It was taking Joshua a long time to process your words, even though you hadn’t said anything complicated.

After seconds that stretched on for far too long, Joshua tilted his head so you had better access to his ears. “All yours.”

You avoided looking at his eyes when you reached down for one of the clip-ons.

Your fingers found Joshua’s exposed ear, and you paused to brush some stray blond strands out of the way. Joshua squirmed.

Right, the ears could be sensitive. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay.”

Your fingertips touched the lobe of his ear—you had ears of your own, of course, but his felt so fleshy and supple compared to yours or anyone else’s. Sliding the accessory to cushion the rim of his ear, you pushed the ends together to tighten its grip, slowly hovering your hand away slightly to test its stability.

“Does it hurt?” you asked hesitantly.

Joshua lifted a hand to touch where the earring had been attached, his fingers grazing against yours.

“Not at all,” he reassured, eyes flicking to meet yours. “I can barely even feel it.”

Without pulling his eyes away from you, he angled his head the other way for his other ear. This time, you tried not to compute the finer details of his ears too much.

The second clipped on without fuss.

“All done.”

He exhaled softly, saying nothing for a few seconds. His gaze did not break away.

You drew your hands back with uncertainty. “Does it feel funny?”

“No…” he said, his voice almost a drawl. “I was wondering what I’d done to have the fortune of meeting you.”

What did he mean? You would ask, but you suspected this was the kind of question where he would give a cryptic answer.

“I think it’s because you’re an amazing person already,” you replied.

“Well—” Red dusted his cheeks. For a moment, you thought he was going to reject your words. Then he leaned forward, sighing, bumping his head against your waist. “I hope no one ever claims you as theirs.”

Theirs..? As in, their child? Why was he bringing this up? Was this because he knew you were an orphan? “My parents are dead, I think, so I don’t think anyone will.”

“Hmm.”

Sometimes you didn’t understand his train of thought.

That was okay. It had turned out better than you had expected, and Joshua was humming a very contented tune, and that was all that really mattered to you right then.

-------------

Author’s note: I was going to describe the clip-ons but I got lazy and said whatever!! Imagination is bliss!!

I know Joshua had ear piercings when he was a child, but it seems like he doesn’t post-timeskip? (please tell me if I’m just blind because that is an unsurprising possibility!!) I figured it would’ve closed up, but it doesn’t matter much... If you don’t like it just pretend it’s an earring I just wanted to write an ear touching scene for my ear fetish idk

I also know Joshua rejects help usually but I feel like he’d want to be spoiled by the person he likes... anyway, that’s enough. Hope you enjoyed!!

update on joshua x reader fics: current wip is at 3.6k words and it's about halfway done...

progress with it has been erratic but i MIGHT be able to get it out in a week!!

moonbow

Joshua x Reader

544 words, fluff

Summary: Joshua has a nightmare and wants you to comfort him.

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A shake on your shoulder gently woke you up from your sleep.

Your eyes blinked open groggily. Was it already time to wake up? Before you could roll over and groan, pathetically pleading for another five more minutes, you realised the room was as dark and quiet as the night usually was. From where you laid on your bed, through the window next to you, the stars were still scattered across the sky. It wasn’t time to wake up yet. Something was amiss.

“I’m sorry. It’s still early.”

Early was an understatement. Eyes half-open, you turned your head to meet a misty blue gaze. “Mmhm,” you replied eloquently.

Joshua smiled at your reaction the way an adult would when a child did something silly—but his brows were creased. He must be worried about something.

He had been squatted beside your bed, but after you showed signs of being awake, he got up and sat with his hand pressed on the mattress, close enough to your face that you could see the fine lines and ridges along his skin.

“I had a dream about you,” he said, in a strangely quiet voice.

At that, your eyes widened a fraction. “You want to do it now?”

“I didn’t mean that kind of dream.” Oh. “...I had a nightmare.”

About you?

Rubbing the drowsiness out from your eyes, you heaved yourself up so you could look at him face-to-face. The moonlight from the window cast onto him, a perfect spotlight—for a brief moment, you thought he was an ephemeral creature who would shatter if you so much as blinked.

An ephemeral creature who’d had a nightmare about you, though. What was it? That you’d manifested into an ugly monster? That you’d died, or maybe that you’d turned on him, betrayed him and killed everyone he held dear? What should you say to him?

You slid your hand along the bed to interlock your fingers with his. “What happened?”

Joshua breathed, then fidgeting, looked away and at the opposite door like he’d done something wrong. “I dreamt that…” he was mumbling uncharacteristically, struggling to get the words out, “...you’d fallen in love with someone else.”

The stars outside were twinkling.

Your cheeks ballooned with silent laughter.

“Do not laugh at me,” he whined, even though he hadn’t even been looking at you.

“You know that would never happen, right?”

He turned his head back to look at you. Your shoulders were shaking with stifled giggling. “You are laughing at me now,” he grumbled.

“I didn’t mean that. I meant,” you tightened your fingers’ grip on his, leaning forward, “your nightmare. It’s silly.”

He rolled his eyes until they were half-lidded; you thought his eyelashes looked so long and pretty that way. Then he leaned forward, bumping the crown of his head against the front of your shoulder. “I want to hear it from you directly.”

You sighed, smiling helplessly, bringing your arms up to wrap around him in a hug. It almost felt like you were consoling a child. “I love you. Only you.”

Joshua remained still for a few seconds, and you started to wonder if that hadn’t been enough to appease him, when he slowly reached his arms out to coil around your waist.

“I love you, too.”

joshua who, in the japanese audio, normally uses "boku" but used "watashi" when speaking gently to the medicine girl... one of the twins in the hideaway calling him gentle in the japanese ver... he has to be good with kids for sure

ao3 (xioying) - works on here are not cross-posted

about page | masterlist

If the masterlist doesn't work well for you, you can just search for the joshua rosfield x reader tag under my blog (my posts are all under cuts so it's navigable).

better than yourself

Joshua Rosfield x writer!Reader

1005 words, fluff

Short fluffy fic for Valentine’s. Happy Valentine’s Day! It’s the same reader as anecdotal inspiration, but you don’t have to read it to read this one (but I would be very happy if you did :))

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You sighed, leaning forward and bumping your head against the book in your hands.

Opposite you, Joshua gave you a curious look. “Is something the matter?”

This had been going on for a while: you often spent your free time scrawling down children’s stories in blank notebooks, and when you had finished, put them up in a quaint corner in the library for the children to peruse. There weren’t many books suitable for the young ones at the Hideaway. You would never have dared to initiate something like this yourself, but with Harpocrates’ kind, homely encouragement that you would almost accuse as manipulative, your hobby had found meaning in one of the lowest shelves that any child could reach.

Then you had an unexpected patron—the younger of the Rosfield brothers, no less—and he was somewhat of a busybody, and he’d become particularly sticky to you after finding out you were the author of those stories in the tattered notebooks. But if anybody asked you if you minded it, you wouldn’t say you did.

You turned the closed book over in your hands. It was a random book on the history of Valisthea that you’d picked off the shelf in hopes of finding an answer. “I’m looking for a word, but I can’t remember it…”

“Have you consulted the dictionary?”

“I don’t remember what letter it starts with, so that’s not helpful.” …You hadn’t come across as rude, had you? “Um, but thanks.”

Joshua didn’t look ruffled in the slightest. He slid his own book shut and propped his elbows up on the table. “Then, would you like to describe it to me? I might know what word it is.”

He most definitely did. Although you’d done your own fair share of reading, it was hard to deny that Joshua was much more well-read than you, or anyone else at the Hideaway. Sometimes he’d dive into a monologue patterned with flowery sentences, but maybe you’d given him one too many confused looks, because he had pretty much stopped doing that with you. But those alone were enough to prove to you he had picked up far more books than you—although that was to be expected, considering he had been raised in royalty.

You let the book in your hands slide down onto the table, chewing on your bottom lip. “Well… it’s part of a castle.”

Joshua nodded attentively. “I grew up in one.”

Oh, you’d forgotten that. “It’s something like a tower..? I think? They’re usually along the walls—at least I think they are.”

“Are you thinking of a turret?”

Right—that was the word. “That’s—That’s the word. Thanks.”

“Delighted to be of help.” He leaned forward. “What did you need it for?”

“Are you asking for spoilers?”

He puffed his cheeks indignantly, almost like a child. “It’s been a fair while since you’ve published anything, so you will have to pardon me for being curious.”

Published was far too fancy of a term for you.

You glanced down, turning your wrist over experimentally. “Tarja said my wrist hasn’t been good, so I haven’t written much for a while.”

“Oh?” Faint alarm was tinged in his voice, despite him usually trying to keep a composed facade, something you had picked up on yourself. “What happened?”

Apparently, you’d been writing too much. It had prompted a cramp in your hand and after paying a visit to Tarja, who had suggested the most probable cause was your extended periods of time jotting away at your desk. Which you had initially found weird, since it had never happened before. Then after some reflection, you had realised in the past few weeks, particularly after a specific someone discovering your secret of writing those books, you had been feeling too motivated to settle down; sometimes you’d even forego a good night’s worth of rest to spend the time whittling away at words.

Not that you would ever say any of that out loud, so the long and short of it was: “I wrote too much—so my hand hurts.”

Joshua frowned. “Is it an injury?”

“Something like that… I think.” You hoped you weren’t wrong.

“I could heal you, if you’d like?” he offered.

Injured hand darting in front of your chest reflexively, you shook your head. “I couldn’t—you should save your powers for other… stuff.”

He didn’t seem to agree. “What better stuff would prevail over this?”

“People who are actually being useful on the field?” you tried.

This time he frowned at you. “Perhaps you don’t think your contributions are befitting of any reward?”

That wasn’t… “I don’t mean that, but…”

You weren’t sure what you were trying to say, either, so you trailed off. For a long moment, there was a stuffy silence between the two of you. Although you were terrible at conversing with others, Joshua always seemed to know what to say at every moment, so stretches of quiet didn’t happen with him often. Now that there was one, it felt gut wrenchingly nauseating and you contemplated excusing yourself to the toilet so you could retreat back to your bunk and shut the door and wither and die in a corner.

When he finally spoke again, it was soft. “I won’t do anything that you aren’t comfortable with. But as for your implications that your writing and your work aren’t important, those I can’t agree with. Reading your stories holds more importance than just a moment of respite for the children, and myself, as well—and if you allowed the others to peruse them, I’m sure they’d come to the same conclusion.”

Joshua held out his hand across the table.

“So, please don’t think any less of yourself.”

You stared at his outreached hand.

Slowly, from in front of your chest, to over the table, to the palm of his hand, you reached back out to him.

It was funny. You had never even said it out loud, and maybe you hadn’t even realised it yourself, so how, you wondered, did Joshua seem to know you better than yourself?

To Kiss is to Hunger

pairing: Joshua Rosfield x Fem!Reader rating: Mature word count: 5.0K summary: You are terrified to kiss Joshua. Joshua has an idea to remedy that.

warnings: practice kissing, grinding, touching, intimacy, mutual pining, insecurities and self-doubt, just straight up romance

Author’s Notes: Ngl I know I said it would be a little frisky, but just so happens I made it just a little bit friskier because Joshua is just a touch starved man. Just a heads up, please read my pinned post before following me! Minors and ageless blogs will be blocked as this blog’s content is NSFW.

[AO3 link]

You couldn’t fathom why you are in the Shelves this late into the night. ‘It’s silly.” You think, walking around, trying to find anything to help you with your little dilemma. You tried to put your brain to rest, to calm its ravenous thoughts of anxiety, but the efforts were futile. And it is all because a teasing strawberry blond tried to kiss you.

You and the young Lord got quite close after his arrival to the Hideaway. You help out as a barmaid for Molly in the Ale House, and the first night of Joshua being out of the infirmary after the fall of Drake’s Tail had been all the talk. You would overhear conversations about how charming he was, how he was very knowledgeable about the lands of Valisthea, and how he is the brother of the leader of the Hideaway. He piqued your curiosity, as most newcomers do, but you didn’t think anything to come of it.

There was one night, however, where service wasn’t off its rig, and you had decided to take that time to practice your reading. Reading and writing are forbidden practices for Branded, and you were only able to learn reading due to old, scribbled writings thrown into the trash bins. You would rummage through for every written scrap in the dead of night and return it before your enslavers came to. To you, it was a piece to the puzzle of your freedom. But only a piece. 

You were reading an old children’s fairytale: a prince in search of the long-lost princess who searched day and night to find her. You were immersed, so much so you hadn’t noticed the presence in front of you, seemingly still but present all the same. 

“Ah, I read that story many times as a child. A true classic.”

Your head had snapped so far back you thought you would’ve fallen backwards. Your eyes jumped until they landed on the man before you, and you remember how wonderstruck you felt. He was the most beautiful man you had ever seen, and the way he was looking at you had your stomach producing butterflies. You felt a sense of embarrassment, however, as the book you were reading was adapted for children. You knew those born with a silver spoon were highly educated, so to have someone as handsome and surely intelligent as he watching you read made you nervous to be a laughing stock. 

“Yeah, but it’s more of a watered down version of it. I’m sure I’ll get to read the original someday.” You had awkwardly explained, waiting for him to make a joke of your lack of ability to read at a level that matched your maturity. That joke, however, never came. He stayed and asked you questions, such as who your favorite character was, what your favorite part of the story was, and so on. That conversation led beyond the book, and it is a fond memory of the golden boy.

It wasn’t long after that he offered to tutor you and made an extraordinary effort to give you books about topics you liked. Hell, he would even bring books back from long expeditions that him, Clive, and Jill would go on. “I found this story about sea fairies that I thought you would like.” “I saw a merchant selling a copy of this book I think you’ll enjoy.” “This book made me think of you.”

After many nights and days passing, it had become apparent that your heart had let him in, and you were relieved to know that his heart blazed for you also. However, unlike you, he is very evident about how he shows his feelings for you. He initiated the first hand holding, the first embrace, every tender moment you both have shared has been started by him. It makes you nervous, he makes you nervous, but in a conflicting way because you want everything he has to offer, yet your life of being treated less than for so long has put in the fear of not being enough. You fear you will misstep, embarrass yourself, he will realize he can have someone better, and let you down gently. He is a gentleman, after all.

All of the insecurities and doubts you hold have led you to the shelves due to this past evening's events.

-

A gathering of many members of the Hideaway was taking place, enjoying each other’s company, exchanging stories from the road, and eating and drinking so good that spirits were at an all time high. About halfway through the evening, Joshua and Clive had returned from their mission that had kept them away for well over a week, and joined everyone in the festivities. You could feel Joshua’s eyes on you constantly as you worked, soft gazes in your direction as you brought over more ale. You hadn’t seen each other since he had left, and you could see from the look in his eyes that he wanted you close, longing for your time. 

And you weren’t the only one to sense it.

“Go on.” You heard Molly speak as you polished the cups.

“Hmmm?” You turned to see her smirking at you, nudging her head in the direction of the young Rosfield. 

“You are free of your duties. You spend some time with everyone, especially you know who.” 

You shook your head, your cheeks flushed. “I appreciate it, but Molly there is a lot to clean up. I can’t ask you to do this all by yourself.”

“Nonsense.” She scoffed, walking to you, taking the scrub and cup out of your hands, only to set them aside to grab your own. “We all deserve a little down time. Please, I insist.”

You hesitated, and her eyes softened. “In these troubling times, every moment counts; for anything can happen at any time. We must be selfish with our time.” 

That alone had set you into motion. You had walked over to sit beside him, hip to hip, his arm draped around your side with his head leaning slightly against your own as Clive shared his and his brother’s adventures. 

You could tell Joshua was more touchy than normal, not that you minded. You would feel him squeeze you from time to time. If you shifted slightly, he would adjust so you were still close to him. You would feel him turn his head to bury his face into your hair, gentle caresses of his lips against your scalp. No words were spoken between the two of you, just enjoying the night together with everyone. But even nights like these had to end. 

You called it a night, telling everyone that you were going to head to the bed chambers, but not before Joshua insisted on walking you there. The two of you had bid goodnight to the others, and with your hand in Joshua’s grasp, the two of you walked to the bed chambers, small talk between the two of you as you both headed there slowly.  

“I can’t believe you let Clive do that.” You giggled, Joshua’s story about his older brother shoving a carrot into his mouth to make him sick. 

“He had reason, for we were in an unfortunate situation. We needed a reason to slip away.” Joshua grimaced, vaguely remembering the taste of the raw carrot. “Besides, I have always had a soft spot for my brother. I’d do anything for him.”

“I know having him back in your life has been a gift.” You smiled, waving his arm back and forth as you both approached the bed chambers. He pulled your arm back gently, causing you to turn into his arms. The way he was looking at you left you speechless; a thousand words being spoken through one look. 

“Why yes, it has truly been a gift by the Founder to be reunited with my brother.” He brings your hand up to his chest, right above his heart; the thumping gingerly warming up your palm. “It has also been a gift to have the honor of being allowed your time, my lady.”

You shook your head, but before you could’ve said anything, Joshua had spoken once more. “On the topic of gifts, I have something for you.” 

He slipped his free hand into the large pouch of his belt and pulled out what you can see is a book. He placed the book in both of your hands, grazing them before allowing you to inspect it. You recognized the artistry of the book: hardbound leather, intricate gold lining, and a sturdy weight in your hand. You looked at the title and you found yourself releasing a shaky breath. 

“I thought you said there were no more copies.” You whispered, in disbelief as to what you were seeing. Enchanting thy Fair Maiden. It was a copy of a book Joshua has praised over. He would recite lines to you from what he memorized as a child, and you would ask him to retell them to you over and over again, never tiring from hearing his smooth voice telling you a tale.

“It took some bartering, but it was worth it if it means I could grant you a copy.” 

Snapping from your mind, you looked to him, shaking your head in disbelief. “Joshua, I can’t accept this. This is one of your favorite stories. You should keep it.” 

You tried pushing the book back into Joshua’s, but not before him grasping both of your hands and gently pushing it back into your vicinity. “My lady.” He begged. “I can reassure you that nothing would please me more than you accepting this gift.”

You stayed silent for a moment, a brief pause in the timeline aside from you and him, before smiling shyly, looking away from him in a flush. “I will cherish this for all days, Joshua. Maybe you can read it to me properly sometime.”

“Anything for you, dearest.” 

Your gaze stayed down, not knowing how to bid farewell for the night, before you felt Joshua’s hand lightly touch your cheek, lifting your face for him to look upon. You sensed a certain hesitancy, his eyes seeking for something on your face before landing back on your own. 

“May I try something?” 

Everything started to go slow and fast at the same time, your mind racing and hyper focusing on every detail. You focused on how much closer Joshua had gotten to you, how his body heat had your body melting tenfold, how his face leaned down to yours, his hand stroking your cheek. You realized what he was asking to do: he was asking to kiss you.

Sudden flashes of self-doubt came crashing down onto you, Joshua’s hand on your branded cheek making you feel self-conscious. What is he doing? How can he want to kiss me? Oh, Greagor be with me, I have never kissed anyone. I am going to make a fool of myself!

Out of reflex and fear, you stepped back and away from Joshua’s reach. He looked startled, not expecting your reaction, and all you could do was stare at him as you calmed your heart down. You felt embarrassment shudder down your spine, but you knew that it would have been worse if you had attempted to kiss him. 

You tried to shrug it off, chuckling awkwardly as if that would erase the last few seconds of shame you felt. “It is late. I’m afraid I must turn in. Goodnight, Joshua.” 

You flung the chamber door open and closed it just as fast without a glance in Joshua’s direction, your back hitting the wood as you worked your anxieties down.

Now you’ve really done it stupid stupid STUPID!

-

So here you are, looking for a kissing manual that doesn’t exist.

“I can’t believe it has come to this.” You moan, shaking your head at how pathetic you currently feel. You want to kiss him; of course you want to kiss him! But the thought of kissing him and making a complete fool out of yourself has strung itself high in your head. You will do anything to ease your anxieties, and if finding literature that will help you is the way, then so be it. 

You keep searching the shelves, and finally you see something that catches your attention. You see a book with a deep red spine, and immediately you become curious. Red means romance which maybe means kissing, right? you think and go to reach for it, your tippy toes giving you an extra inch that helps you grab the old spine of the book. Once the book is grasped, you give it a once over and what you see is nothing at all. The book has no title, no author, no nothing. Just hardbound leather that looks as if it had been dyed with blood. 

You move to sit at a table, the kissing debacle hiding in the back of your skull as a new curiosity peeks. You stare at the book intently, like it was going to open up for you to tell you all of its secrets. A book with no visible identity, no mark.

The curiosity killed the cat as you finally flipped it open, the crackle of the pages singing, showing its age. The first few pages are barren with no offering until you reach the first official page. You read, smiling because you can read everything on the page in comprehension, but also because it’s a love poem. You never have had the chance to read poetry thus far, so this was a treat for you. Just the thing I need to ease my mind.

You continue reading the poems, most being about love, companionship, and things in the realm of romance. As you read them, you picture Joshua and yourself, like the two of you were living in the reality of this book full of lovely prose. In a way, it makes you recognize that maybe what Joshua sees in you is what you are imagining right now: a lover, a partner for life. You feel a sense of confidence swell in you, so you read on, addicted to the words written out.

Until you get to the next page.

What you read next halts your breathing, slowing it down to stop fire from growing in your chest. This poem is about the same things previously stated, love, romance, companionship, but in a much more intimate form. The words strung together formed the most erotic sentences, words of longing for the senses. They make you blush hotly; they make you antsy in your chair while locked in, but most especially they make your mind run wild with fantasies of you and him. 

Oh, you and him.

You mind wanders as you read, zoning out into a reality where you exude the confidence to give into Joshua’s desires and more. The words dig into your skin, warming you up that your thin nightgown felt like plenty of layers on this cool night. You are so immersed that you don’t hear the large doors open, and the calling of your name feels like a figment of your imagination. It’s not until you feel the warmth on your shoulders that you are brought back, feeling like a bucket of cold water has been dropped over your head from the cold sweat.

You slam the book shut, turning so quickly that the room starts to spin before the warmth on your shoulders grows firm, steadying you in your seat. You look to see Joshua staring at you, worry showing on his face seemingly from your reaction. “I deeply apologize, my lady. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

You breathe a chuckle, seeing him here at a time like this would be your luck. You cross your arms, becoming extremely aware of your lack of clothing under his gaze. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask the same of you.” He retorts and pulls out a chair to sit facing you. “Truthfully, I couldn’t sleep much. I came here to see if doing more research would tire me, but it seems fate has chosen a more direct route to my restlessness.”

You see why he can’t sleep, and sigh because this is from your doing. “Joshua, you have nothing to fret over. You did nothing wrong.”

“But I’m afraid you are wrong, my lady. I shouldn’t have been so forward, and to know I put you in an uncomfortable position upsets me greatly. I would never dream of making you uneasy, and for my mishaps I must apologize to you. I cannot bear the thought of you keeping your distance because of my foolishness.” 

You watch him as he apologizes for his directness, which internally makes you laugh because that isn’t the issue. You love his directness, just as he is being direct with you right now. It’s you. It’s your cowardice for wanting something more and not having the courage to pursue because of the what ifs, the buts, the howevers. It’s your fear of rejection because of your lived experiences. It’s you, not him. 

“Joshua.” You state, moving to grab his hands within your own. “You did nothing wrong.”

“My lady, please I-” 

“Shhh,” you hush. “Let me speak.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, and I apologize for making you feel you need to.” You exhale, preparing to open yourself up for display. “It’s all me. I’m inexperienced, and I’ve been viewed as nothing for so long that I’m fearful that one misstep will set you away; that you can have someone who knows what they are doing and have the confidence to show for it.”

“Is that really what this is about?” Joshua asks.

You nod, looking down at the two of your intertwined hands. You see Joshua’s hands pull away from yours and your breath shakes. This is it. He is going to leave. That’s until you feel the heat that only the Phoenix could exude on your cheeks, your head being brought up to see him smiling. “My dearest,” Joshua whispers, as if talking any louder would damn him. “You are my everything, for you have captured me: mind, body, and soul. Also, your inexperience mirrors mine, I can assure you.”

Your eyes widen. “There is no way that can be true. You are a Lord.”

He’s laughing now, shaking his head as his hands go back to you, grasping them with care. “I was only a child then. Besides, the Undying were very protective of me under their care. There was no time nor place for such things. Even then, the only person that was always allowed in my vicinity was Jote, and we have never viewed each other romantically.”

“So, there really has been no one?” You whisper, your mind stuck between disbelief and credence.

“No. Not until now.” He squeezes your hands. “My heart belongs to you, and you alone. There is no one else I’d rather give myself to.”

You shiver, the idea of experiencing forms of intimacy together for the first time spreads a raging fire in your stomach. “You sure have a way with words, Joshua Rosfield.”

“You can thank all of the romance novels I read in my youth.” He chuckles. “Speaking of books, what were you reading?”

“What?” You ask, forgetting about the erotica sitting inches away from you. 

“The book you were reading. I don’t believe I have read that one yet. May I take a look?” 

You are panicking, knowing the contents of the book and who is asking to take a peek. You go to grab it, reacting as fast as you could, but alas you reacted too late. Joshua now has the book, opening the page you had left off on, and starts to read. You see his eyes go wide, his pupils dilating, his fingers fidgeting against the page he is holding. You freak out, going to reach for the book before he reads further. “Okay Joshua, that’s enough.” A smile creeps up slowly on his face, humming as he moves to stand up before your fingertips touch the book, backing away slowly as he continues. You stand up, walking up to him to get that god forsaken book away from him. 

“Oh Joshua, please give me back the book!” You panic. 

“By the Founder, what possessed you to read this smut?” Joshua smirks, seamlessly avoiding your grabby hands as he reads the pages. “Especially in the middle of the night?”

He wasn’t meant to see this! He wasn’t meant to see you reading the abhorrent words you were consuming. He wasn’t meant to see you like this in your flimsy gown. Damn me! Why did I not cover up more?!

“To taste the lips is to be fulfilled, for the instinct of man is to claim, conquer, and revel in the midst of her flesh. To kiss is to hunger, to feast among the softest of petals that call to him, beckoning for his return to get both of their fills.”

You are internally screaming now. You can’t believe he is tormenting you like this. You are still reaching for the book, desperate for this nightmare to end, before you hear an “oomph” as Joshua’s back collides into one of the shelves. You snatch the book from him, running back to put it back where it came from. “Okay, enough please!”

“Forgive me.” Joshua says, although it is said with a devilish grin. “I just didn’t know you had such… exquisite taste.”

“I didn’t even know what was in the book when I pulled it.” You say defensively, hands waving manically in front of you like they would make you more convincing. “I was just trying to find something that would help give me the courage.”

As if that isn’t as embarrassing, or even more so.

“What if we do something that helps us both gain courage? A practice session if you will.” Joshua says from the other side of the room, keeping his distance to see what tone you will take.

“What do you have in mind?” You draw out nervously, twiddling your thumbs in anticipation.

Joshua walks back over to where you both had sat, moving the chair so it was facing you before sitting down. He rubs his thighs a little as if he needed to warm them up, before patting his lap. “Come take a seat.”

Instinct has you taking a step forward before a hitch finds itself in your feet, stopping them all together. 

“Do you trust me?” He asks sincerely.

“Of course, I do.” You quickly blurt out, as if answering a second later would draw doubt. 

He smiles, his hand reaching out to invite you over. “Then please, my dearest, come to me.”

You take a deep breath and walk over till you stand before him. You grasp his hand, tingles running up your arm as he pulls you to him and guides you onto his lap. Your hands move to steady yourself on his shoulders, while he places his hands on your lower back to support you. Your legs dangle on either side of the chair, your gown riding up your thighs which you are all too aware of. However, you note that Joshua is only looking at you, gauging to see where your head is. “Is this okay, my lady?”

“Mhmm.” You hum, trying to calm your rapid heart. This is so intimate, too intimate, but you want it. You want him. You want to create every kind of intimacy with him, and this is a start. You knew that it is time to take that leap, especially since he will take that leap with you. 

“Joshua,” you murmur, eyes still on his. “Will you kiss me?”

“As you wish, my love.” 

You close your eyes, leaning in slightly to show that you aren’t backing out. You feel one of Joshua’s hands move to your left cheek, your branded cheek, tracing it with his thumb gently. Soon you feel him move forward, his forehead sitting against yours, his breath hitting your lips in puffs. The anticipation was killing you, your hands squeezing his shoulders to urge him on, and before you know it his lips are against your own. The kiss is light, a sweet peck before pulling away slightly, only to go back to give one more. You both are testing the waters, giving into each other slowly until the two of you start to grow peckish.

The kiss is gradual, pecks graduating to long lip locks and more movement. Your hands have found homage in Joshua’s hair, gripping not too hard but enough to show him how much you are enjoying him. His hands found their way to the crease of your hips, gripping the flesh to keep you in place. You can feel yourself growing restless, needing more of him within your senses. 

It’s like he can read your mind as his hands bring your body closer. A gasp leaves your lips as his groin settles against your heat, leaving your head spinning. His kisses become feverish, his hands roaming up and down your thighs, your nightgown receding higher in the process. You sense satiability is nowhere in sight, the movements of his body proving to you that the absence of intimate touch has turned him into a depraved man. Because even though Joshua Rosfield is a gentleman with a heart of selflessness, he is still a man with selfish desires and needs.

Your hands go back to grip at his shoulders, trying to calm yourself from his ministrations. A wetness hits your lips, and your mouth opens willingly, needing to taste him further. Your tongues melt together, creating a unique taste between the two of you that’s so addicting you don’t know how either of you will stop. You lean more into him, your hands going back to his hair to control his movements, causing him to groan in the most sinful way. You pull away, giggling knowing you got him to make such pretty sounds. The confidence from it goes straight to your head, going right back in for his lips to have him make more delicious sounds. 

A deep feral groan is released from Joshua’s throat, causing him to pull away in heavy breaths. He looks at you with hazy eyes, smiling deliriously. “You will be the death of me, my love.”

Your hands are now trailing from his hair to his chest, your hands running up and down the fabric of his tunic, feeling the toned body beneath it all. Your head leans back against his forehead, both of your breaths heavy on each other’s lips. “Then shall death keep us together, never parted.”

Joshua leans up back to your lips, kissing you hungrily, your declaration causing him to hunger for more. You still had the high ground, you being on top giving you more opportunity to take the lead. You knew this could be too soon, a little risky, but your sureness that Joshua feels the same hunger as you do is enough to convince you. You start to grind down slowly on top of him, your undergarments and his matching tunic pants the only barriers. 

“Fuck,” Joshua draws out breathless, his arms coming up to wrap around you to ground himself. 

“Does that feel good, my Lord?” You smile, feeling over the moon that you are making him act this way. 

“You have no idea.” Joshua gasps. “You have turned me into a new man.”

You giggle as you continue your movements. “Is that so?”

“By the Founder, yes!” He groans loudly at a particular movement of your hips. “How about I show you.”

Suddenly you are being lifted up, your butt settled onto a hard surface, legs spread apart by Joshua’s hips, and warm lips ravishing your own. Your nightgown is definitely way past your legs now, bunched up at your hips with Joshua’s hands right under the fabric. This new side of Joshua has you addicted, the push and pull the both of you are playing at exciting you more. You release his lips and lean up to his neck, nipping at the skin at the juncture of his neck and jaw. His breath hitches, leaning into you as you nip and kiss his neck. It’s as if he is hypnotized by your love bites, casting a spell on him. Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer to you, but in an instant everything stops.

You open your eyes to see Joshua breathing hard, his hands gripping the table. Your hands go to his face, worry etching into your brain. “Darling, did I do something wrong?”

Joshua laughs, his eyes opening to look right back at you. “Absolutely not.” His hands go to yours on his face, holding onto each one as he brings them down. “I just don’t want to accomplish everything in one night, especially here in the Shelves.”

He pulls you up to your feet, your hands still in his as he looks at you with the brightest smile on his face. “I want to have time to savor you when the time is right.”

Even after all of that, he is still ever the gentleman. 

“I agree. I’m sorry if I went too far.” You chuckle, a tinge of embarrassment in your tone. 

Joshua embraces you, his head tucked into your neck. “You have nothing to apologize for. I hope you don’t think I had ulterior motives.”

“Never,” you say quickly, squeezing him to you.

“We should head back to our respective beds before people notice we’ve disappeared.” Joshua hums.

You hum in agreement and pull back, so you are now under Joshua’s arm. Both of you head out the doors of the Shelves into the cool night air. You shiver, and Joshua brings you in closer to shield you from the cold. He walks you back to the bed chambers, and before he departs, he places a light kiss on your lips, causing your eyes to flutter close at the bliss you feel in the moment. 

“Goodnight, my dearest. I shall see you in the morning.” Joshua says after he pulls away.

“Goodnight, Joshua. But before you go, may I request something?” 

“Anything for you, my dearest.” 

“Can we practice some more later? You are my tutor after all.” And my lover, my partner for life.

Joshua beams at you. “I would love nothing more.”

cheat code

Joshua x Reader

1386 words, fluff, established relationship

Summary: Joshua isn’t eating his vegetables. Thankfully, you have a trick others don’t.

-------------

“Do you think you could get Joshua to eat his carrots?”

Clive had approached you in the Ale Hall, somewhat hesitantly. Only a fool wouldn’t have figured out he was asking for a favour, so you had coaxed it out of him, and after a few reluctant sighs and furtive glances away, he finally blurted out the question.

You stopped chewing on your bread. “I beg your pardon?”

He shook his head. “I know it sounds ridiculous.”

“Well… it’s just sudden.”

“No, it is quite ridiculous, to be asking for your assistance in feeding my brother… vegetables.” Clive was frowning, but you were starting to find it amusing. “I’d turned a blind eye to it for the longest time, but Tarja and Jote have been more vocal about it recently.”

“Ah.” You dropped the piece of bread back onto your plate, leaning backwards. “And you ask me… because?”

You knew why, but you also knew Clive was funny to tease. He furrowed his brows. “Because you are his beloved?”

“Annnnnd..?”

Clive crossed his arms, eyes closed and heaved a sigh. “And you are the only one I could possibly count on to convince him.”

Your mouth stretched into a grin and you stood up, leaning forward to slap Clive on the arm. “Consider it done, Lord Rosfield!”

A string of grumbles left his mouth—probably something about always having to pay praises to you to get you to do something, but whatever. You had a very important assignment, and it was to deliver some very important nutrients to your very important, very adorable blond little prince.

You brought your arms up to stretch, taking a few paces forward. First, you weren’t a chef yourself, so you’d have to acquire an assortment of vegetables…

Before you could make a move on, Clive gripped your shoulder. You turned your head to glance back at him. He had an oddly grim look on his face, for the topic of vegetables.

“I know he can be stubborn. I won’t fault you if you fail.”

Yes, you knew, but you liked to think you were equally stubborn—or even more so. You grinned confidently. “Don’t worry. He can’t resist me.”

-------------

Unfortunately, it turned out that he could.

You’d found him at Harpocrates’, where you accurately guessed he was. Holding a plate with Joshua’s sworn enemy (carrots), you decided a blunt approach would be the simplest for now.

“Joshua, you need to eat these.”

He turned around the moment he heard your voice, soft blue eyes brimming with glittering excitement, which promptly died when his eyes fell on what you were holding.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do that.” Joshua turned away from you and back to his open book.

You blinked once, affronted by his initial rejection. You sidled up to his side, pressing your cheek against his shoulder.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“C’mon, they’re just a few carrots.”

“My sincerest apologies, but no.”

“Tarja and Jote said you should be eating them.”

Joshua just made a disgruntled sound. Of course! If he wouldn’t even listen to you, why would he listen to anyone else?

Tugging on his sleeve with a free hand, you tried again. “Clive wants you to eat them.”

“Is that so?” Joshua continued to flip another page in the book. So he would seal a horrible, eldritch entity inside of him for his own brother, but not eat a few carrot slices. You found the way Joshua weighed the severity of different circumstances odd.

Your simplest and most straightforward plan had clearly failed, but that was okay. You had backups. Pulling away from him, you folded your arms, careful as to not spill anything from the plate, and straightened your back, regarding him with rolled eyes.

“Then, I guess the almighty Phoenix trembles in fear in the presence of a few measly orange roots?”

That cracked a mirthful smile from Joshua, but he shook his head. “Very much so.”

“You are afraid of them?” you crowed.

“Petrified, even,” he agreed.

All of your backup plans were caving in. This man was not giving in. You huffed.

Harpocrates suddenly raised a hand, drawing your attention. He smiled with that gentle old man smile that could convince two aggressive countries to come to a ceasefire, and gestured at your plate. “I apologise, but I’d prefer to not have any food near the books.”

“Oh!” Right, it had completely slipped your mind. You hadn’t intentionally ignored it; you’d just been so set on your assignment that it hadn’t crossed your mind. Sheepishly, you took a few steps back. “No, no, I apologise.”

You were about to leave, head hung low in temporary defeat, when Joshua closed the book he had been holding, slotting it back into an empty space on the shelf. He faced Harpocrates and bowed his head, a practised, poised gesture he always did when leaving, then turned to face you again, touching your arm. With the sweetest of smiles: “Shall we go?”

Words weren’t quite forming properly in your mind, so you just nodded. Your steps fell into sync with his as you left.

Sometimes he really caught you off guard.

But only for a few seconds. The moment you stepped foot out of the books’ territory, you swung around back at Joshua, pushing the plate towards him wordlessly. He looked down at it and raised a hand to slowly push it back towards you.

You looked away, huffing dramatically. “You must not love me anymore.” Then you glanced back at him for a reaction.

Brows knitted, he maintained his smile towards you. “That’s not true. Please don’t ever think that.” He leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to the side of your head.

You paused, blinking up at him.

Joshua tilted his head and continued walking.

Foul, unfair, beautiful demon…

Running forward a few steps to catch up with him, you sulked, nibbling at the tines of the fork you had brought along. Yes, you had known he was going to be stubborn… and you had resolved to be even more stubborn… but it wasn’t going to go anywhere with just brute force, clearly.

Joshua interrupted your thoughts. “Isn’t there anything else you would rather have me do?”

Most of the time you had a quip ready, but this time you were too lost in thought to. “Let me think about it.”

“I would do anything else for you,” he said earnestly. You believed it.

“It doesn’t matter because you won’t do this for me.”

You were just being dramatic, and he knew it.

The two of you were walking somewhere. You didn’t know where exactly, but it happened often enough where Joshua would be heading to one of his destinations and you followed him around just to be by his side. You liked to think his pace slowed to a leisurely stroll whenever you did. Sometimes you’d also get to steal a kiss or two on these walks…

Oh, you had an idea.

You skewered one of the carrot slices with the fork and popped it into your mouth. Reaching out to Joshua, you tugged on his arm to get him to stop walking. He obediently ceased and cast a curious gaze down at you.

One of your hands was occupied with the plate, so you grabbed his chin with your free hand, thumb pressed against the front of it and index finger tucked behind it, tilted your head back and pressed your lips against his before he could react. He squeaked a muffled sound of surprise; you tumbled the carrot from your mouth to his without much resistance. Then you sealed your lips with a cheeky smile against his mouth, blinking triumphantly into his confused eyes. It took a couple of seconds, but you felt his mouth move in a chew, then swallow.

Finally, you pulled away.

“You’ll eat all of them this way, right?”

Joshua gave you a blank look. He tilted his head backwards and stared at the ceiling thoughtfully, then down back at you. “Hm. I’m not quite sure about that.” He raised an index finger and pressed it against your lips. You resisted the urge to clamp your mouth over his pretty finger. “Would you like to try again?”

(It worked only another two times, and the rest of the afternoon was spent wrestling with him.)