Commission For Lucy For Their Partner For Christmas.

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

i think it’s that my mother started reading the Song of Achilles, and told me she didn’t realise it was about… you know… that they were gay, and then didn’t finish it. i think it’s that my mother still introduces me as her daughter. i think it’s that my mother has never called me by my real name, only a neutral nickname she can derive from it. people mishear her, and think im called Jane. i think I would’ve been a good Jane. a violent one. i think it’s that my mother has a “gay bestie” and i think it’s that she screamed at me in the car when my teacher told her she’d seen me walking around school holding hands with a girl. i think it’s how she used to drive us around in the car, and tell us she didn’t care what we were, gay, straight, or purple, as long as we were happy. i think it’s about returning to the well and finding it still full of all the wishes I’d made as a child, and realising they were only ever copper.

may your next ibuprofen take effect swiftly and noticeably

About ten, fifteen years ago I wrote a story about a guy living in a Capitalist dystopia. His walls, furniture, and tableware are all covered in smart displays. Basically animated wallpaper. It's sold as being able to turn your room or objects into anything - A nice forest view, outer space, a fantasy realm... but the companies that run this stuff keep sneaking ads in.

It gets so bad he's always being woken up by adverts that offer insomnia cures and better bedding that play when he tries to sleep.

So he buys the ad-free tier, and it's great... for a few months. And then he starts getting adverts from 'premium partners'. So he goes up a level... and the same thing happens.

So he jailbreaks his wallpaper and sends all the ad servers to 0.0.0.0 and voila... he can sleep.

Until this SWAT team blows his door off and drag him off to jail. The Ad companies are suing him for loss of revenue for the products he' notionally have bought if he'd watched their adverts, based on some weird 'The average consumer buys X products with an average value of Y' calculation.

The judge is like 'well I dun wanna annoy the sponsors' so he RICO's this guy's house and possessions and sends him to jail.

... which is a nice relaxed non-volent offender jail for the corporately disenfranchised. But because these people have no money... there's no ads and now he's happy because the only place he's free... is in prison.

Which at the time was a bit much and now it's like: Called it.

Elon's suing companies for not advertising because he's losing revenue. He's also cranking the price of Ad Free Twitter. Disney and Amazon play adverts on their paid service when services used to be free because of the adverts... and now you have to pay to watch the adverts or go up a couple of tiers.

And google's going around freaking out about ad-blockers.

need to be pressed into the skin of the person I love as we fall asleep together and I think they should be a guy who plays rugby or maybe a guy who used to box but I think they should be a baker as well and I think they should be loud and flamboyant but I also think they should be sturdy and quiet and comfortable in their own skin about it but also I think I want to be in love with a woman who paints and she should be a million things you can’t pin down but really I think none of it matters and I’ll love anyone who loves me because I’m so desperate to be seen and known and I’ve never felt more like a real person than when my face is being held

And fuck, if I was born right it would be simpler for people to love me.

We were watching the glass blowing competition show on netflix because it's really cool to see those talented artists do their thing...

But I will NEVER forgive the judges for eliminating an amazing artist who's concept was that plastic hamster tubes are actually dangerous for hamsters yet they are normalized in our society so they made a beautiful glass rendition of an endless loop of colorful hamster tubes as an expression of how we can be trapped by society in a loop of behavior that is normalized but actually killing us

And the judges were like "this isnt DEEP ENOUGH" because they dont care enough about hamsters to learn and interpret the artist's statement at the level it was meant for.

They literally saw the glass renditions of colorful tubes that represent suffering and being trapped in a glossy predesigned hell and went "this is too normal and isnt saying anything important actually" Fuck them!!!!

Anyways Gemma should have won and I'm so happy to see that she didn't let it stop her amazing concept and she continued with it outside of the time constraints of the show. Fuck yes Gemma

A copper retriever with her unoxidised puppies

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

happy Thursday the 20th

"they're not canon!"

girl idc you wouldn't have survived in the rise of the brave tangled dragon era like come on