Damian And Tim Bond By Tim Taking A Photo Then Damian Painting/drawing It.

He is immune to the plot

Credits to @sreppub’s Goobins AU.

Reporter: “Mr. Wayne — our readers are dying to know: What’s the secret to your youthful appearance?”

Bruce Wayne, proud owner of five reconstructive jaw surgeries, three separate sets of veneers, a handful of nose jobs, and whose skin only sees direct sunlight through the Watchtower portholes on odd Tuesdays: “Botox and medical grade skincare.”

Batman, how the f**k did you imply that!?

Bruce coming home from a justice league meeting going up to the bat computer Tim is sitting there Dick is leaning on the chair to look at the screen, Bruce sits down taking his cawl off and just looks up at the bats on the ceiling Dick and Tim notices Bruce's odd behavior.

Dick: uh you okay B ?

Bruce let's out the most exhausted sigh Dick has ever heard from the man. This makes Tim stop typing and look over as well

Bruce:... I might have implied that I was...

Bruce's voice trills off into a whisper.

Dick: what?

Bruce: that as Batman, Bruce Wayne is my sugar daddy...

Tim:...

Dick:...

Bruce sighs again.

Dick: this is why you need to tell them your identity dad

Bruce: unfortunately I can never tell them now because I will die of embarrassment

Dick: B you have to tell them

Bruce: do you want me to die of embarrassment Dick?

Arches National Park, Utah photo: Elliot McGucken

“so what’s your favorite batfam trope?”

“bruce calling his kids sweetheart/sweetie/baby/any petname”

“what—“

-

Dick, accidentally scraping his knee: ow

Bruce, worried: you okay, dear?

Dick, a 30 year old man:

Dick, tearing up: no…

Cass: 😐

Cass: *period cramp*

Cass: 😐

Bruce, knocking on her door: cass?

Cass, suddenly on the floor curled up and sniffling: dad, period hurts 😢

Bruce, slamming the door open, picking his daughter up then tucking her back in her bed: i’m sorry baby. i’m here now, what do you need?

Red Robin, cranky and stressed, having been awake for 120 hours: ugh! why can’t you people do anything right!?

Wonder Girl, also sleep deprived: you arrogant piece of—

Red Robin, suddenly walking away, grabbing his civilian phone: *angrily dials a number*

Bruce, in a WE meeting, answering: hello? tim?

Red Robin, voice breaking: dad?

Bruce:

Batman, requesting access to Mount Justice:

Superboy, eye bags darker than black: what’s batman doing here

Red Robin, packing up, speed walking out the door:

Batman, out of sight: oh, don’t cry sweetie, let’s go home hm?

Bruce, washing the dishes:

Damian, entering the room: baba?

Bruce, smiling: yes?

Damian, shuffling towards him, holding something behind his back:

Bruce: what do you have there?

Damian, embarrassed but determined, holds up a drawing of him and Bruce:

Bruce:

Bruce, tears streaming down his face: it’s beautiful habibi

Bruce: *sleeping*

Jason:

Jason: b

Bruce: ?!

Bruce: j-jay?

Bruce: what are you- oh.

Jason, laying next to him, face hidden in his chest: fuck you.

Bruce:

Jason:

Jason, quietly: i take it back. love you…dad.

Bruce, crying again: i love you too, sweetheart

-

now with a part 2!

bonus: captain marvel