Every Arthurian Character Is Trans, That's Just How It Is. Sorry, I Don't Make The Rules.

Statement of Jonah Magnus regarding Jonathan Sims, The Archivist.

Statement begins

clear eyed galahad

new headcanon im pushing is lancelot is just like. a duck. water slides right off of him. that is the only fun magical thing he got from being under the lake for so long he just is insulated. 

“Are you scared?” “Perfect.”

<3

did you collaboratively write a work of fiction with your middle school best friend that profoundly affects you to this day or are you normal

arthurian characters giving presentations on topics they are too familiar with

a series of shitty drawings I found while I was cleaning my room

Elaine (Carbonek): You Don’t Have to Name Your Daughter Elaine

Morgana and Morgause: Killing Your Little Brother Isn’t That Bad

Lancelot and Guinevere: Being Hot is Really Hard

Lamorak: Gawain’s Mom Has Got It Going On

Nimue/Lady of the Lake: Why Camelot is Doomed to Fail

Dinadan: Why Courtly Love Sucks

Arthur: Why Are So Many People in Love with Lancelot?

Gawain: The Reason Everyone in Camelot is Fucked Up

hi guys i think its time i finally rename key arthurian texts to boost community engagement and better promote our product

effective immediately in all arthurian offices:

Historia Regnum Britannium is now Jeff’s Epic Adventures

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is now I Kissed A Boy (And I Liked It)

Le Morte d’Arthur is now arthurian lit modern au DO NOT FLAME don’t like don’t read dead dove do not bring back as a ghost and do not call me out for gawain-bashing 200k period-typical tristan

Lancelot du Lac is now 101 Tips on Raising Kidnapped Children

The Wedding of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnelle is now Shrek

Lancelot or the Knight of the Cart is now Logres Public Transit Guidebook

Yvain or the Knight of the Lion is now My Family and Other Animals

Perceval or the Story of the Grail is now Perlesvaus

Modern adaptations of the Arthurian mythos: everybody’s covered in shit and some guy sleeps with his sister. Maybe there’s a prophecy?

The actual source material: okay, so a Kryptonian, a werewolf, a one-handed guy with super-speed, and a dude who inexplicably keeps finding increasingly outlandish magic swords walk into a bar.

grabs ur face

stop disconnecting from the thing ur making just because ur afraid it’s not good.  I know you don’t wanna get ur feelings hurt caring for a project that other people might not like but dammit that’s better than deciding not to give a shit and hiding behind self-deprecating humor and dispassionately trudging ahead!  fuck!

tag yourself from this handful of arthurian characters, im dinadan