i should figure out how to homebrew white monster actually
i saw a giant billboard for a plumber that was basically just this
Sometimes when praying people will go "and cast all my period cramps onto satan" and IT FUCKING HURRTTTTS
i sleep diagonally so i wake up to a dutch angle view of my ceiling symbolising my descent into madness
do you still have the edit you did of the rollin video where fred durst says nonbinary people
Day 260
Upon a lonely road was a messenger from The Court, sent to parlay with a number of Decay-aligned knightly orders. Their actions would be of great consequence in the days to follow. Hundreds or even thousands of lives were banking on their ability to reach the camp within the night. However, their horse had…
{This is rather dull, is it not? Whether or not they make it, there will be a great deal of slaughter. This doesn’t matter a bit. Without consequences and results, how are things meant to be fun?}
[I agree with your sentiment, but for different reasons. They merely serve others. They should try to do something for themselves. I of all people know that fate is far from certain, so why would they not choose to forge their own?]
{I believe this is our first time talking. It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m The Princess.}
[...]
{And your name is?}
[I am called The Sacrifice. It fits well enough.]
{...}
[We are opposing forces, are we not? I have taken humanity and made it all I am. I have no body or mind and yet I remain human.]
{And I have rejected humanity. However, we are rather similar. We both chose to reject the Laws of this place, and decided to make ones of our own.}
[We do indeed share that, Miss Princess.]
{So, why are we both here, and what are we to discuss?}
[I am not quite sure. When I stood in front of the Mainspring and burnt away, I chose to exist. I did not, though, choose where and when I exist.]
{Excuse me if it is rude to ask, but are you dead?}
[I exist. I chose to. Therefore I do.]
{I expected such a cryptic answer.}
[Oh, but it is the truth. So, why are you here?]
{I thought these events would be entertaining, and it turns out they have been, though not for the reasons I expected.}
[I hate to interrupt, but I can feel myself drifting away. Far too many things call to me, and I cannot hope to answer them all. I must depart.]
{Well, it’s been lovely to meet you. I’ll head off too. I no longer care for that messenger or their horse or their meeting. As far as I am concerned, that story ends here.}
OH BOY GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS?!
Everyone comes to me wanting to be some esoteric courtier position. We don't need anymore viziers or seneschals. you're a peasant levy. The princess allows you to use your body and a pike to stop the enemy mounted charge. You can get horny about it if you like.
I look at the woman in front of me.
She is dressed smartly, dress and coat and boots and hat conspiring to protect her from the howling winds as she stands in the doorway.
She looks at me, the pity in her eyes obviously disguising some kind of malice.
That’s the way things are, after all.
She invites me in, all politeness and platitudes and pleasing words. She bids me to sit by the fire, warm myself. She brings blankets to help with this. She offers me food, I refuse. She offers me a drink, I refuse. She asks me my name, I pretend not to hear.
She takes no note of my sword, seeing it as no threat to herself.
I do not speak. I do not move.
I wait.
She talks a lot. She tells me about the things she’s made for a meal, one she’d happily share with me. She tells me about the plants in the forest, and the ones that I might find useful. She tells me how beautiful I am, and how happy she would be to have me.
I feel tempted to give in, and stay here for the rest of my life.
She smiles softly at me, as if she knows this.
Her fingers trace up the flesh of my arm, suddenly revealed from under layers of blankets.
She tells me she could help me. She tells me I wouldn’t have to worry any more. She tells me I would be hers, perfect and eternal.
My arm goes cold, as though it were turning to ice. My joints feel stiff. A sudden stillness begins to overtake me.
This is a game to her, surely, and it seems she is winning.
She tells me I will have purpose, and the spell breaks.
I move my hand. I clench my fist around something.
My arm swings forwards.
She looks down.
Blood blooms from her torso, centred around the ugly iron implement that protrudes from her body.
Her eyes flick upwards, and I look away.
She goes still in my arms, much as I had gone still at the touch of hers.
I have won.
I cannot leave quickly enough.
Her house burns, all her food and plants and promises going up in flame.
Her offers nag at the back of my mind. She offered purpose, perfection, happiness, and most of all, stillness.
I have won this game.
So why do I so dearly wish that I had lost?
She/her, LARP doer, Warhammer and Gundam fan, that one reveal with Zane from Ninjago changed the trajectory of my life,Certified Scribblehub Eggfic Protagonist.
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