You Learn Something New Everyday

I politely ask the 5 people that follow me for some reason to listen to this.

For @melffy-puppy :D

You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.

The 1999 Toyota Corolla.

Let's talk about features. Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn.

Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.

You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up.

This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.

Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: yes Rent a car: it IS a car

This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would.

Interesting facts: This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey. In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla"

You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms

This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.

When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine."

Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.

I GOT MY BOY THERION ON THE THIEF'S CALLING STEP-UP BANNER!!!!!!!!! I AM ONE STEP CLOSER TO GETTING MY MAIN TEAM FROM THE FIRST GAME IN COTC!!!!!!!! I AM ABSOLUTELY THRIVING!!!!!!!!!

The tags are everything I know. I am sharing this with every single one to try and spread the word.

OCTOPATH MUTUALS LOOK!!!!!!

Agnea and Temenos are coming to COTC!

Ok, I have a cookie run au idea that I just finished fleshing out, do you all want to hear it? It's focused on Caramel Arrow Cookie because I don't think the Fandom talks about her enough.

HE CAME HOME IN THE APOTHECARY'S CALLING! YEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!

I made some prototype Peri stickers.

I’m not sure if I should sell them.

300 reblogs and I’ll make an Etsy store.

Disclaimer: This is the prototype, meaning it is not perfect or the final version. I need to play around with printing settings and sticker paper type, but if you are interested in the sticker design then reblog to let me know.

I’ve wanted to make stickers for a while and I’m finally getting around to it.

It's because of a line he says. Something about politics being a river.

why does everyone call affogato a fish

Absolute weirdos <3