When I’m Depressed I Just Do Shit Like This

Rainy Days

"The rain was always your favorite. You always loved listening to it patter against the rooftops. Remember when we would sit out on the porch and just listen to the rain. You loved the smell of the rain too. You opened all the windows in the house and it would always smell like fresh air and clean laundry," Sugawara said, stroking your cheek.

He smiled as he looked down at you. You were always beautiful but right now you looked like an angel. Especially in the white dress you were wearing.. Never in his life had he met someone so perfect, there can't be someone so perfect. Until you came into his life.

"I remember that first day I met you. It was our third year and you transferred to Karasuno and when you walked into my class you knocked me off my feet. The more I got to know you the more I fell. I was so nervous every time we studied together because my heart was pounding. I thought you could hear it."

He lifted your left hand so he could brush his thumb over your fingers and the engagement ring that adorned your finger.

"When I asked you to marry me it was at nationals when we won. You were waiting to congratulate us on the win and I couldn't stop myself from dropping down on one knee and asking. Everyone was surprised because we only dated for a short while but like I said. You were my one and only."

He felt hot tears spring to his eyes as he desperately tried to blink them away.

"Suga. It's time," Daichi reported, clapping a hand on his back.

"Looks like it's time for you to shine Angel," Sugawara said, his voice breaking.

Sugawara left the room you were in to take his seat in the front row in between Daichi and Asahi. Asahi gave him a comforting squeeze on his shoulder. He felt others hands on his shoulders in support. When the doors opened everyone stood up and turned to look at his beautiful girl.

He felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest as he saw you come down the aisle. He didn't pay much attention to what the priest was saying, he couldn't focus on anything except for his beloved.

It wasn't often Suga felt overwhelmed but he needed to take a break. He exited out of the room and outside to feel the cold air from the rain hit his skin. He walked to the edge of the railing and reached out his hand to let the droplets of rain fall into his hand.

"When I imagined you coming down the aisle, I didn't imagine you in a casket," Sugawara cried softly. He feels like this is one giant nightmare and that at any moment he will wake up to find you curled up into his side.

He remembers when he lost you. You and him were coming back from a date. you both had been busy at your jobs and wanted a nice evening together. Walking back to the apartment you wanted to take an evening stroll through the park. Suga wasn't going to deny your request. You were enjoying each other's company when you both overheard an argument and then shots rang out. Suga tried to shield you but ended up getting shot. He tried his hardest to save you but died in his arms.

"Come on, Angel. Don't do this to me. Fight to stay alive, baby, please," Sugawara pleaded as he used his coat to try and stop the bleeding.

"Koushi. I'm not going to make it. Even if you can get me to a hospital it's slim chance to none I won't be able to pull through," you said softly.

"No, don't talk like that. That's negative talk. You just need to hold out a little longer."

You smiled up at him, reaching out to touch his cheek, "I know it is but it's the truth. And the truth always hurts. I don't feel pain anymore and I feel cold. Both are bad signs."

He held your hand that cradled his cheek and stroked your head with the other. He knew you weren't going to survive this. You were bleeding out too fast.

"I love you, my Angel," he said as he kissed your palm.

"I love you too, Koushi. Forever and always." He felt you go limp and he wailed out in agony as he just lost the love of his life.

He cried for days on end. He couldn't sleep and on nights he did get some shut eye he slept on the couch. Why would he sleep in a bed if you weren't there with him? He didn't eat very much and took very little care of himself.

When the team heard the news they were quick to move. Daichi and Asahi moved into his home to take care of him while everyone else took care of the funeral plans, only bothering Suga for his input on colors and style choices.

Everyone asked for time off from their jobs to be in support of their former teammate. Suga always supported everyone else and now it was time for them to return the favor.

Sugawara looked up towards the sky and saw the clouds part to let sunshine through. He saw a rainbow cast across the sky. He chuckled to himself and shook his head. He turned to walk back inside to join his friends.

A few hours later and everyone had left. Now just stood Suga with you in an empty room. He walked towards your casket and silently prayed before standing to look at you again.

"You were right about the rain. I never knew why you liked it so much. You always talked about going overseas to a state where it rained ninety percent of the time. Now I think I understand. 'You can't have a rainbow without a little rain.' Even though you're gone you still manage to make me feel better. I miss you everyday. I wish I could hold you one last time. I will always love you, Angel. Forever and always."

Suga leaned down and pressed his lips against your forehead. He put his forehead to yours and let out a breath. He knew things wouldn't go back to normal, and it was going to be rough without you, but this too shall pass, and he knows that if he keeps you in his heart, he can make it through.

Poor Jinbe. Also I forgot that Zoro calls Sanji that. I know he calls him other names too bit that just hilarious 🤣🤣

Jinbe just now learning what he got himself into

If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

heh. ttitties

This!!

Vox is so pathetic, but in, like, the most attractive way possible. I don't know how to explain that. He takes himself so seriously that it's pathetic, but damn, if that isn't also why I'm in love with him.

silly tv man

reblog to give fic writers a gentle kiss on the forehead

I wanted to reblog this because this happens way too often to good writers who enjoy their communities and make stories for not only for themselves but others to enjoy. I've said this so many times in communities I'm apart of but I'll say it again.

I've been on the internet for a while. I have been through a lot of changes within the Fandom culture. One thing that always stays the same in that if the people who want to be a stick in the mud see that everyone else is having fun they have to ruin it.

People are entitled to their opinions but when your opinions hurt writers and authors who don't deserve that hate that's when it's a problem. Just because @redvexillum made a character white in THEIR STORY to enhance the plot then something be it.

If you don't like it because it doesn't fit your narrative that's fine just stop reading and consuming that type of media but don't go after writers and artists who are good people.

And one more thing. If you have to hide anonymously because you're too afraid of backlash then don't be on social media. If you can't throw on your big person pants and face consequences for your actions then you have a lot of growing up to do.

@redvexillum keep on creating and inspiring. I think i follow you if I don't I will now but your stories are joys to read. Your little community is wonderful keep being yourself.

PSA: RACISM, BIGOTRY, ENTITLEMENT IN HAZBIN HOTEL FANDOM

CONTENT WARNING: Inflammatory hate speech, White hate, political baiting, gaslighting, racism, death threats

The messages I’ve received and am addressing below contain upsetting and harmful language that has no place in any community. If these topics are distressing to you, please prioritize your well-being and feel free to stop reading here. Thank you for taking care of yourself.

I never imagined I would find myself addressing this, but here we are. This post is regarding my recent story, Stay With Me, which has stirred up unexpected controversy due to my decision to imply the reader’s race as white. I want to clarify that this choice was made purely for plot purposes.

The story is set in 1920s Louisiana, a time and place where racial and class dynamics were deeply significant. This backdrop was essential to the narrative’s themes of tension and forbidden love, as it explores the societal barriers that would have made a relationship between Alastor and the reader virtually impossible. The decision to depict the reader as an upper-class white individual was not arbitrary—it was intentional, aimed at heightening the drama and emotional weight of their story.

I deeply value the Hazbin Hotel fandom and the x-reader community. Writing for this space has brought me immense joy, and I’ve formed wonderful connections with both readers and fellow writers. That’s why receiving such hateful and inflammatory messages has been incredibly disheartening. The accusations of racism, the vitriol, and the twisting of my creative choices into something they were never meant to be—this has shaken me more than I can express.

To the anonymous senders of these messages: I want to make it clear that my work comes from a place of love and passion. My intention has always been to tell compelling stories that explore complex emotions, societal norms, and the human condition—stories that resonate with readers on a deeper level. To reduce my work to a political agenda or an act of prejudice is deeply hurtful and entirely unfounded.

I want to echo sentiments shared by Kit (please check out her explanation here), another writer in the fandom, who also explored the racial and class dynamics between characters. Like them, I am fascinated by the tension and drama that arise from star-crossed love stories, particularly when societal laws and prejudices forbid such relationships. Writing the reader as white in this context wasn’t about excluding or favoring anyone—it was about creating an authentic narrative rooted in the realities of the era.

For those questioning why I made this choice, I ask: if you can suspend disbelief to fall in love with a cannibalistic, asexual deer demon, why is the reader’s race—chosen for specific plot reasons—the line you cannot cross? My goal as a writer is to craft stories that make sense within their own context. The entitlement to demand otherwise, or to impose personal prejudices onto my work, is unfair and unwarranted.

I hate that I’ve had to turn off anonymous asks. Some of the most heartfelt and hilarious messages I’ve received have come from anonymous users, and losing that connection with my readers pains me. But unfortunately, the actions of a loud, hateful minority have left me with no choice. I will not entertain further discourse on this matter after this post.

To those who have supported me, who have read my stories and shared kind words: thank you. Your encouragement is what keeps me going. Writing for this fandom has been a labor of love, and I pour my heart and soul into every piece I create—for free, might I add. It’s devastating to feel that love overshadowed by hostility.

I won’t let this stop me from creating, but I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t made me question my place here. To anyone who feels entitled to tear down what others create out of hatred or spite: I hope you take a moment to reflect on the harm your words can cause.

To my true supporters: I appreciate you more than words can express. Your kindness reminds me why I love writing in the first place. Thank you for standing by me.

I'm in love with this man! It's kinda a problem.

⌕ hazbin hotel - vox.

like or reblog if you save/use.