Learning To Love (Part 3 Of Prompt #191)

If Mr Jalapeño ever released an official instrumental album I think I would be the happiest I’ve ever been in my life (I just really want a Love In Paradise and God Games instrumental).

I need to hear what secrets this man has hidden in the instrumentals…

"Honey?" [Villain] leaned on the window frame.

"Go away." [Hero] grumbled. "I 'cheated' on you. Remember?"

"No, that was [Civilian]'s heart you squashed." [Villain] snorted, caressing the poor hero's face. "When I wear this costume, I'm your secret criminal lover. The one you made out with in the parking lot."

"Shut up!"

"They're never going to let you out of this cell, knowing who you are." [Villain] pouted. "It's nearly impossible for anyone to look at you the same way again."

"I wish you could've just broke up with me instead of resorting to such low tactics." [Hero] mumbled. "It's not working, I'm not coming to join you so easily."

"Pumpkin, you're going to end up being a villain either way." Their lover laughed. "Whether you come crying back into my arms or not, I'm going to love seeing you turn into a monster."

Teyvat's "Most Down Bad" Award Goes to Alhaitham for a Second Year Running

Seeing everyone making fun of Alhaitham for his "stalkerish" tendencies in this event is funny, because I feel like a lot of people missed that "Be literally everywhere Kaveh is" has been Alhaitham's MO from the day Kaveh appeared in the game.

From only grabbing his house keys after Kaveh returned from the desert (he couldn't have had both sets of keys at the end of the Archon Quest unless he went home and got Kaveh's copy) to ditching conversations to get back to his house only after Kaveh came home, to showing up without any warning or explanation in Kaveh's hangout with some ridiculous excuse about hearing his voice through noise-cancelling headphones... Refusing to offer any help in the Temple of Silence story quest other than staying in the library with Kaveh...

Since when does Alhaitham willingly cover anyone else's duties?

But this trend of "Be everywhere Kaveh is" didn't start when they were adults. It was already in place when they were still Akademiya students--and it's a trend that didn't end even when they had their fight.

Even when they weren't speaking, Alhaitham dogged Kaveh's every step through published responses to Kaveh's research articles in academic journals. He insisted on keeping a line of communication between himself and Kaveh open, even if the only way to do that was through very public ideological clashes. Pulling Kaveh's pigtails to get his attention lolol. It's implied that, for at least the few years between their fight and Kaveh moving in, this was the only communication between them--Alhaitham's refusal to allow their connection to entirely fade away. (And the fact that this is revealed in Kaveh's character stories--through his precious journal that records the moments of his life that had the most impact on him--shows just how deeply he values the fact that Alhaitham didn't give up.)

Another relevant side note: Alhaitham never asked Kaveh to give up his half of their house. Knowing half of it belonged to Kaveh, knowing that Kaveh may one day want to reclaim his part of it, knowing that it was listed as theirs, Alhaitham moved into the house and made zero effort to change its ownership. He was completely fine with living in "his and Kaveh's house." The stories suggest it was only months later (or even longer) that Kaveh even noticed he had the house, and he transferred away ownership of his portion without Alhaitham ever asking him (or even seemingly wanting him) to do so.

Please, let that sink in. Alhaitham actively left his grandmother's (presumably comfortable) house to move into "his and Kaveh's house," with no apparent explanation for why, and after doing so, he made no attempt to change that "his and Kaveh's" label. He moved into the house with no promise that Kaveh wouldn't show up on the doorstep the very next day and move in too. It almost feels like another deliberate provocation--I've moved into our house, are you going to come stop me? LBR, if Alhaitham had had his way, Kaveh would have been living there with him from Day 1...

There's also the fact that Kaveh literally can't write on a single message board anywhere in the entire nation of Sumeru without Alhaitham hunting his messages down and responding to them (which absolutely no one else does, by the way).

"NUH-UH!" "UH-HUH." "NUH-UH!"

Alhaitham's own character stories tell us explicitly that one of Alhaitham's defining character traits is "He is never where you need him to be," yet somehow...

Shot, and chaser:

Any time Kaveh is in the slightest bit of need or danger or just wants Alhaitham near, Alhaitham is "coincidentally" exactly where Kaveh needs him to be, whenever Kaveh needs him to be there.

Alhaitham didn't just "happen" to run into Kaveh in Port Ormos, an entirely different city from where he was supposed to be working. He didn't just "happen" to read the same terrible book as Kaveh when we know he otherwise would not waste a moment of his time on poorly-written literature...

He didn't just "happen" to appear when Kaveh was upset and needed a distraction in the House of Daena during Kaveh's hangout. He didn't just "happen" to be sitting around waiting when Kaveh needed answers after the Archon Quest. He didn't just "happen" to find Kaveh's academic publications and every single message board posting and respond to them at length and in public.

Which is exactly what Kaveh's mother told Kaveh he needed.

What level of down bad is "Abusing your powers as an Akademiya employee to keep tabs on your crush's library loans"? Just asking for a friend.

The only person for whom Alhaitham just "happens" to be available is Kaveh, over and over and over again--because he is very deliberately making himself a constant presence in Kaveh's life.

(Like, out of all things, I think people really underestimate the devs deliberately paralleling the romantic relationship between Kaveh's mother and father with Kaveh and Alhaitham's relationship. If you want to point to one thing that says "These two characters are intentionally queer-coded," it doesn't get any more obvious than this.)

Alhaitham, are you not embarrassed to be this transparent??? 🫣

You know that younger sibling / older siblings thing where the older ones simply refuse to acknowledge that the younger one is aging up?

So that- but with Damian and his whole family.

Boy could turn 15 and Jason’s still like “Oh, my baby brother Damian? Yeah he’s 11.”

He could go out and legally get his license at 16, and on instinct, Tim still never lets him drive. “wait until you’re 16-“ “I AM SIXTEEN”

He turns 18 and Dick is scandalized when he suggests that they watch an R rated movie. Who cares about all the blood and gore he’s already witnessed- “Damian you’re too young for R rated movies!!”

He finally turns 21 and Bruce still makes sure to tell the servers at the galas to not serve any drinks to Damian because “he’s too young.” Meanwhile Damian is just seething in the background, clenching his glass of apple juice so hard that it shatters.

Is billy batson a magical girl?

Learning to Love Part 4

We certianly can! and I’m glad you enjoyed it, I hope you like this one too!

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[Hero] decided that the worst part is they could feel it happening. Maybe if they were less self-aware of how their thought gradually began to change, how their body longed for [Villain]’s touch when they weren’t there, it would be more bearable. Maybe it would feel like falling asleep or falling in love, a gentle drift into the night.

No, this felt like a war as their heart both sank and soared when [Villain]’s smile came into view. It felt like a bloody fight trying to desperately stay alive, to stay themselves.

“It’s alright lovely,” [Villain] would whisper into their ear when they were finally able to cry. “Things will be better soon,” they cooed as they caressed their hand down [Hero]’s spine, causing them to shiver.

[Hero] desperately hoped they were right as they melted into their arms.

Prompt #24

"Sweetheart," Villain cooed with a sympathetic smile. "It's okay."

They pulled the limp hero onto their lap, brushing hair out of their eyes and scrubbing dirt off Hero's cheeks lightly with the pad of their thumb.

"It's not your fault that Organization failed to tell you you were their peace offering."

Villain's smile turned from soft sympathy to wicked amusement. "I have the funnest things planned for you."

"— I can care of myself, Always did! Is not gonna change now, Mum didn't cared this much why you wanna do? U shouldn't either!" The hero yells frustrated, the villain eyed them with worry.

The hero didn't wanted cookies and play things, They're the hero that was supposed to take down the villain! if only they stopped being so stubborn.

" — That's child abuse, I refuse to fight a kid" Says the villain wondering how much time it would take to child protection services listen to their call.

"— I grew faster than anyone, I'm not a damn kid! I don't play and whine like them, I don't even have time for that!" The child looked miserable, their eyes watering at every angry pitched scream.

"— What the heck they did?" The villain's voice creaks, Anger filled his whole being, How dare they? This small chaotic gremlin will have a childhood, They would spoil them rotten and let the world burn with it's own darkness.

Andrius felt useless

1000 years he had kept his vigil as Mondstadt’s North Wind and for 500 he had felt no connection to the Archon he’d pledged himself to over 2000 years ago. Where had Barbatos gone, had he sacrificed himself for the Eastern Wind and if so why did the dragon refuse show itself? Had he not needed to keep watch over Wolvendom he might’ve gone searching yet there was none available to keep his vigil lest outsiders attempt to take advantage of his absen-

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Prompt #1489

“You are not my mother.”

The villainess smiled, ever in control, ever amused by their shuddering rage. “You can deny it all you want, little hero. You were born from me; my blood runs in your veins. My powers are your powers.”

“Your morals,” they spat, “are not my morals.”

Her smile widened. “Not yet.”