He’s An Asshole. He’s The Kindest Friend You Will Ever Have. Hes An Alcoholic Health Freak. He’s

he’s an asshole. he’s the kindest friend you will ever have. hes an alcoholic health freak. he’s a heartless machine that only cares about playing stickball and has little interest in real people. he will make outstanding efforts to never ever ever have to be alone for even one second. he’s half of a duo. he wishes he could stand on his own. he mourns a man that no one else on earth loved (even though no one on earth has been as hurt by that man as him). he knows you will die and he does nothing to even attempt to stop it– he still makes sure your remaining time is the best time anyone’s ever had. he leaves you even though he’s all you have, but he never stops sending you postcards, he never stops trying to save you. he promises you he will find you a purpose in life, and he always finds it. he always finds it.