I Like To Think That Bruce Wayne And Oliver Queen Are Best Friends But Bruce Doesn’t Know Oliver Is

Someone please write a fic abt how Kara knows Bruce’s identity cause she’s dating/married to Babs and Hal knows because Bruce told him in that one comic but now he regrets it.

Anyways, they are tired of Bruce and Clark’s pining so they play matchmaker while everyone else has no clue what’s going on.

There's a serious comparison to be made between how Barbara fails as a teacher for Cass and how Cass fails as a teacher for Stephanie. Barbara's brain is biological supercomputer with an eidetic memory which can learn a new language in like five minutes. Cassandra is likewise superhumanly talented at fighting.

In both cases these aren't just learned skills to them. Cassandra's fists and Barbara's mind are core to their identities. They're the things that make them heroes, that give them agency, that make them matter, it's who they are. The reason they have no patience for teaching these skills to others is they're incapable of contextualizing a world without them.

Barbara can't teach Cass because the prospect of a life without language is simply inconceivable to her. Likewise, Cassandra can't teach Stephanie because she has no context at all for what learning to fight must be like for other people without her natural affinity. Their respective talents are so core to their being that people who can't do what comes easily to them must simply not be trying hard enough.

Ironically it's one of the very few ways in which they're actually extremely alike.

My favourite thing about Talia's relationship with the batkids is that for half of them it's nonexistent.

Dick? He was there for all the relationship drama back in the golden days, and he's always been stupidly petty about it. Their rivalry is fun and lighthearted and both of them care about Damian enough to work together even if they'll never be friends.

Jason? An understanding. Kindness for the sake of it, a friendship offered in full knowledge of just how cruel the world can be. Two wary, wounded people tentatively reaching out. She remembers the sweet young boy he used to be. He remembers the time she teamed up with Bruce and Selina to fight the Gotham rogues. So much has changed for both of them, but at least when they look at each other they see that they haven't been damaged alone.

Damian? Her son, and all the complications surrounding that. Her son who was meant to grow up living a normal life and never knowing his biological parents. Her son who instead grew up just like she did, raised in a cult and expected to be the heir. She tried to save him. She failed. He couldn't save her. She killed him. It wasn't her, wasn't her hands, but it was her orders, but it wasn't her mind. They love each other anyways. They're willing to try.

The others? Well there's the other Robin. Timannie or something. Talia is pretty sure he's a boy but he could be a girl? And there's the Batgirls. Sandy or Barbie or The One Who Is All, whatever they're calling themselves nowadays. And the new mentee, Duke! He seems promising. Defeated her father along with Batgirl but Ra's seemed to respect their strength, which is always a good sign.

So basically Jason and Damian receive birthday gifts every year. Bruce receives one when he hasn't been an ass recently. Dick has never received one and never will. Tim, Cass and Duke get a present to share once a year addressed to The Other Child. It's normally some sort of training gear. Cass normally calls dibs. They're all completely fine with this arrangement. It's nice that she made an effort when she really didn't have to.

Ra's sends Bruce and Damian gifts. Occasionally sends Cass and Duke job flyers that they burn. Everyone else gets addressed as Detective because he can't keep track of their names. If Batman wanted Ra's to remember his children he should have colour coded them better. Blue eyes and black hair, he can't even remember which one Talia threw in the pit. He's a busy man with an empire to run and thousands of years of memories! They're all probably Robin, it's fine.

Batsiblings convince Jason to get himself a cooking Tiktok account, and he gives in. To his surprise, he quickly gains millions of followers and a loyal auditory. The only problem? Jason has no idea that these people came here not necessary for recipes.

Jason: Geez, my followers had been pissing me off lately.

Dick, confused: Huh? Why?

Jason: They keep commenting ATE. Like, dude? Fucking where? I am not eating in my cooking videos. What is the fucking point?

Tim, choking: Oh my fucking God-

Jason, making an angry text post for his followers: YOU ALL. STOP COMMENTING "RAW". MY MEAT IS NOT RAW. I AM A PROPER COOK. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Cassandra: Maybe it is time to tell him...

Tim, Steph, Duke, in unison: NO

Bruce, awkwardly trying to have a conversation with Jason: Hey, lad, how is your cooking blog is going?

Jason: Uh, people keep commenting cryptid messages. Like, the last time I was showing the right way to tenderise meat for chops because apparently it wasn't clear and someone requested the whole video? Anyway, I did it, and the whole comment section was writing me "in bed, on the floor, on the couch, on a chair, against the wall, against the window, against the door"... Like, why would I do that, not in the kitchen?

Bruce, no less clueless: Maybe it some kind of challenge. Kids love trying new stuff in extreme places nowadays.

Jason: Huh. Maybe. Thanks.

Bruce, just proud to have a proper conversation and somehow a help: Anytime, Jaylad!

Damian, who was unblissfully educated on the slang matter by Tim (because it was his responsibility as a big brother to traumatise him), with his eye twitching: ...None of these words were in Quran

there's just someone else for you to take care of

Tim: Duke, you're an optimist. Try to see the bright side.

Duke: The bright side is on fire, Tim.

Tim: And it's warm! See, that wasn't so hard. Now you try.

Duke: .....

Duke: I suppose it's kind of pretty.

Tim: That’s the spirit!

Bruce [voice far away]: Are you two insane! The building is on fire! Get out!

I'm always on my Bruce acted like Damian when younger shit, but I'm also on my Oliver was eerily similar to Cass when young bullshit

Look, that man might have been stranded on an island for a year(s) but no other person would get into that situation and decide that the most reasonable choice was to dismantle the drug ring on the island with nothing but a bow and barely any training.

So I like to think that Ollie was always a little fucked, just uncomfortably wrong in a way that most people wouldn't understand. that actually being why Bruce likes him when they first meet.

Him being unnaturally quiet, not when speaking of course, it's Oliver Queen, no one can get him to be quiet when speaking unless he wanted to, but quiet in the way of being able to sneak up on people without even trying. Just appearing in a room and scaring everybody, even when someone is keeping an eye on him, he'll inevitably slip away and reappear a few hours later in a place that he's not supposed to be.

when Bruce and Ollie first met, Bruce liked him because he kinda scared the shit out of him, there was a look to him that just set off of the warning signs in Bruce's head and of course that means that he needed to friends with Ollie immediately.

And later, when Bruce's mouth inevitably got him into trouble, he never had to worry about what would happen after he won because Oliver would always jump in first. people learned very quickly that you can't fuck with one of them without the other being there too.

in the first few months of Oliver being the GA, Batman comes to Starling for something and tries to slip away after being spotted, but Oliver is able to hunt him through the city. No matter what Bruce tries, GA is always two steps behind and getting closer. finally Bruce is able to lose him at the edge of town (Oliver doesn't lose him, he just knows that Batman is leaving and sees no reason to keep going after him) and decides right then that the Green Arrow is never allowed within Gotham, that no other vigilante is allowed in Gotham.

Years down the line, after the JL is up and both of them are in it, Bruce questions whether he should tell Ollie that he's the Bat, but Oliver already knows, has know since the first time that they fought side by side, because no one has fit so perfectly beside him since those days in school. the days that he was the blinding sunlight in front, the fist that everyone paid attention to, so no one noticed the dark shape in the shadows Oliver had cast, the knife that you didn't even realizes was there until it was being pulled out of your ribs. of course Oliver knew that Bruce was Batman, he would have shot him with an arrow on that first mission if he hadn't.

Idea I got from tiktok:

Dick: Why's Tim in the manor while it's getting fumigated?!

Bruce: Tim, get out of the manor right now!

Duke, banging on the manor window: You're breathing in poison!!! You're gonna die!!!

Tim: It's fine. I grew up in Gotham! I'm immune!

Jason: You're from Bristol. You got rich boy filtered air! You're not from Gotham!

Damian: Tt. Drake probably got poison training from those gifts grandfather's sent him.

Dick: From the what-

Cass: Focus.

Steph, snickering: I bet you held your breath the first time you snuck into Crime Alley to take photos.

Tim, actively dying from the gas: NO!

Alfred, across gotham: ... something just happened...

I think, after No Man's Land was over, Babs was probably the one to go with Cass to get a full doctor's assessment. Bruce probably read through all the files afterwards but Babs was the one sitting in the room with Cass as the doctor explained all the symptoms of malnourishment he could see, the state Cass's teeth and hair were in, the clear signs of trauma she displayed, all the impact almost 10 years of being a homeless child constantly running from her father had on her. And that's before they even got into all the damage done by the years of David Cain's abuse.

Cass wouldn't have really understood what they were saying. Just noticed that the doctor seemed like he wanted to throw up and Babs looked like if he kept talking in another few minutes she would either start crying or get angry. Which is weird because the only thing on screen is a photo of all Cass's leg scars and she doesn't get the horror. Yeah he shot her when she was six yeah that wound got reopened infected when she was nine and on the run and became an even nastier scar after months of pain. She survived and none of it made her a worse fighter so who cares.

I think Babs, looking at this teenager who's now living with her, under her care, so unbothered staring at an x-ray of her skull with visible thickness in certain places where the bone clearly had to heal over large cracks, would feel the weight of a life in her hands in a way she never had before. And it would terrify her.

I procrastinated a whole lot but I finished mostly