Alfred: Injury Report?

Cass knows because of body language but thinks it’s the funniest thing ever and is NOT a snitch.

AU where Jason gets over his theatre-kid need for dramatics and heat never reveals his identity to the batfam. In fact, he HIDES his identity so well that no one ever finds it out. It’s been years since Red Hood popped up and at this point he’s an unofficial vigilante with crime lord tendencies than anything else

then people start getting suspect . . . But not the right thing

Red hood: *sitting, legs crossed, on a roof ledge* scare me and make me drop my book and l don’t care if you helped me with Penguin last night, I’ll throw you off this roof and I won’t give a shit Nightwing: *slowly jacks away* um. What book? Red hood: pride and prejudice. Nightwing: pride and . . . You know, my brother liked that book. Red hood: I know he did Nightwing:

Damian: *feeling uncertain with his title as Robin* Red Hood: you know, a wise kid once said Robin is magic Batman: *eyes narrow* what kid? Red Hood: eh, just someone I used to know Batman:

Spoiler: so why did ya decide to protect the alley? Red Hood: I lived there as a kid. I . . . Uh, it just means a lot to me. Spoiler: *frowning* I assumed you’d lived there. Red Hood: yeah it um . . . *thinking of Bruce* I met someone important there. He changed my life. And when . . . I, uh, lost him, I decided to clean it up. Spoiler:

Later, in the bat cave:

Spoiler: so Red Hood . . . Batman: *gravely* dated Jason. Nightwing: but he was only fifteen! Robin: *crossing his arms* people date at fifteen, Richard. Red Robin: . . . The crime lord dated the second Robin. Batman: I’m going to kill him. Nightwing: wait, no! You can’t! Jason wouldn’t have wanted it! Black Bat: he’s family. Spoiler: *jazz hands* NEW BROTHER

Red Hood: *listening in through their comms* what the fuck

The Oracles of Gotham;

Cursed to be all-knowing. Cursed never to be believed.

Helena Bertinelli 🤝 Stephanie Brown

Gotham purple-clad female vigilantes that started off unaffiliated with the batfam due to their families criminal pasts and ended up being treated like shit by Bruce while working with him.

Steph: batman doesn't like me and thinks i am not enough.

Cass: it's okay i like you you're enough.

Tai'darshan: my government deems my organization to be terrorists. I am painted as the villain in my fight for freedom.

Cass: you're a beautiful mirror tell me more.

Brenda: i see the non-conventional life you're leading because i've been there. We may not look or live perfect but there's always time for tea amidst of chaos.

Cass: thanks.

Clayface: nobody believes in my rehabilitation and i am bound by this monstrous shapeless flesh.

Cass: you look friend shaped to me.

Barda: you're a little weird i like you

Cass: you're a little weird i like you :]

there's just someone else for you to take care of

Fav ship

Similar to this and my comment on it https://www.tumblr.com/demonic0angel/767278181073960960/hmmmmm-how-bout-some-spicy-dannycass?source=share

Danny and Cass enjoying Ollie's chili, much to the horror of everyone except Batman

(LMAOOOO)

Danny and Cass were enjoying their meal, while their siblings were all dying from the heat of Oliver’s chili. Dick and Duke were trying in vain to drink as much water and milk as they could. Stephanie looked like she was about to pass out. Bruce was also at the table, eating at a slow and measured pace. Oliver was beaming, clad in a pink apron and holding a ladle, as he asked, “Do you want seconds?”

Bruce shook his head, blank faced. Damian scowled through the meal, while Jason grimaced, muttering and glaring at Danny and Cass, “How on earth are you two eating this so fast?!”

Cass shrugged, “Not as bad as Sichuan food.” She turned her head and watched Danny eat for a little longer until he noticed her gaze and smiled at her.

“Are you still hungry?” He asked, licking his lips and Cass stared at him deeply before smiling and then nodding, turning back to her meal.

Damian muttered, “If this isn’t enough to make me throw up, that would’ve done it.”

Bruce sighed. “Do any of you want crackers?”

Jason sneered. “What psychopath eats crackers with chili? Better yet— Ollie! Can you get me a hot dog?! I need something worth living for without Jazz around right now.”

Danny perked up, pausing in his eating to hand Cass a napkin and ask, “Wait, where is she?”

Jason coughed from inhaling a pepper and said hoarsely, “I think she and Tim are eating ice cubes in the kitchen right now.”

Dick stood up and sniffled from the heat. “I think I’m going to join them. The rest of you weirdos can finish the meal.” He dragged away Duke and Stephanie, leaving Danny, Cass, and Bruce eating peacefully in the dining room, with Damian and Jason determined to finish their hellish meal.

Oliver complained, “What! Why is everyone always leaving?!” and then went after them to make them try more of his chili.

Danny hummed, nudging Cass. As she turned, he leaned closer and whispered, “They’re pretty weak to heat, huh?”

She hooked their fingers together with a sweet smile. “Not us though.”

A spoon went flying in Danny’s direction, making him dodge with wide eyes.

“Keep your hands off of my sister or this food is going into your eyes, Fenton!”

Dannys at Wayne enterprise because his parents want to submit their inventions and "scientific" discoverys for official review. He's bored out of his mind and meets this beautiful girl his age and strikes up a conversation with her. (Or he meets a girl and starts to rant like his father.)

Danny: im just saying Orphan has to be a vampire!

????(cass): No.

Danny: Are you kidding me? She moves with far to much elegance and grace to be mortal. Credit to the other bats but they move like mortals. She dances around both rogues and vigilantes!

????(cass): *blushing* No vampire.

Danny: ok maybe not a vampire but like a shadow demon or dhamphir or something! She's to much!

????(cass): orphan. Is. good. What about others?

Danny: oh! stabby robin and red hood are top tier obviously!

????(cass): oh?

Danny: well yeah! Stabby robin practices the art of the sword, a forgotten art in modern times. And red hood shoots pedophiles! Who doesn't like that?

????(cass): Batman.

Danny: well that says something about batman doesn't it. Have you seen the first Robin's outfit? Oof!

*in cass's ear*: Red Robin here. Good job on keeping danny distracted orphan. We're in the process of arresting Danny's parents. Can you keep it up?

????(cass): mhmm. Hey. Cute boy. Take me out to lunch?

Danny: Oh! Yeah! My parents will take hours explaining everything anyway, But uhm. What's your name?

????(cass): call me cass. This is a date, Yes?

Danny: *blushing* oh, uhm, yes. I'm Danny by the way.

Cass: Danny very cute.

Red robin: uhm? You don't have to do that orphan. Hello? ...Please don't make me explain this to B. Orphan?

Batman: Follow. Them.

Bruce, introducing his kids at a family Interview: This is my eldest Dick, my second eldest Cassandra, then my son Jason, my second youngest Tim, and my youngest Damian

Bruce: That's my daughter-in-law Barbara, and my other daughter-in-law, Stephanie

Tim: ??? Steph and I broke up forever ago?? How is she your daughter-in-Law?

Stephanie: I may not be dating any of you anymore but I'm the State of daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law is not a family title, it's the friends you make along the way

Jason: I'm not high enough for this shit

Golden boy Dick Grayson: Me fucking neither

Jason: what

Dick: what

Bruce: ??? What do you mean she's not my daughter-in-law anymore?? I was counting on her marrying into the family :C

Steph: Sorry B, unfortunately your son would rather kiss superbitch than me

Dick: TIM IS KISSING WHO NOW

Bruce: >:( We'll talk about that later, right now-

Tim: I don't think that's necess-

Bruce: We'll talk about that later. Right now can't any of you date her?? Jaylad, you're sin-

Steph: HELL NO

Jason, already on his second blunt: You're so funny, old man. I'm literally co parenting my best friends kid. I'm literallyyyy be gay do crime. Haha.

Dick: YOURE WHAT WITH WHO NOW

Bruce: CAN ANY OF YOU JUST DATE HER

Cass, slowly raising her hand like in Hunger Games: I volunteer

Bruce: ...

Tim: ...

Dick: ...

Bruce: This is why you're my favorite daughter 🥹

Cass: Father, I'm your only daughter

Tim: Untrue. I did drag one time, that has to count

Steph: Does this mean I have a girlfriend

Damian: This family is a disgrace

Interviewer: ...

Thinking about Cass Cain, the world's biggest proponent of "nobody dies tonight" still taking the time to desperately search for Steph even as she's working overtime to save the rest of Gotham. Wondering what she saw in Steph's body language in those last moments together, when she feared Steph was lying to her but couldn't chase after her. Wondering if she saw the fear, the hurt, the regret, the overwhelming despair and desperation, all in the anxious and exhausted tremble of her body. Wondering if the reason she couldn't tell for sure if Steph was lying was because there was just too much there, too many feelings, the weight of them too great, for Steph's body language to make any sense at all. Wondering if she knew, somehow, that if left on her own that the panicked-rabbit thrum under Steph's skin would lead her directly into something horrible. Thinking about Cass Cain, the girl who killed a man and saw him die in a way no one else could, in a way that changed her forever; who saw the shock and fear and pain and then the nothing, hearing that Stephanie was dead. Wondering if she imagined Steph's last moments as something other than what they were, because she wasn't there and she wouldn't ask and Bruce certainly wouldn't tell. Wondering if she thought about Faizul and imagined Steph terrified in the instant of realization, Steph knowing she was dying, Steph knowing that she would never run rooftops or play tag or feel her mother's arms again and that everything she could have been would remain unwritten forever; Steph alive and afraid and then nothing, nothing, nothing. Just thinking about Cass Cain and her way of perceiving things that no one else could understand, and a grief so deep that she didn't have the words for it and probably never will.

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Clark (as a reporter): Mr. Wayne, have you ever thought of having more children?

Bruce: You mean, adopting?

Clark: Adopting. Abducting. However you got the last four.

Bruce: …