Okay So Post Epic Odyssey Where Odysseus And Penelope Have Surfaced From Their Room Finally And He And

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Clark (as a reporter): Mr. Wayne, have you ever thought of having more children?

Bruce: You mean, adopting?

Clark: Adopting. Abducting. However you got the last four.

Bruce: …

I've noticed a word that gets thrown around in regards to Cass in Batgirl 2000 is "perfect." It's how Bruce and Cain both see her, what Babs calls her and what Cass would literally die to be the moment she wasn't. There's something heartbreaking about it. How she's defined by her perceived perfection to the point where she'd rather have a year of being perfect instead of a lifetime of not.

Then, when fanon casts her as perfect (albeit in a different way) all I can think is of how she never really escapes that. Perfection looms over her even now.

The batkids love “Uncle Ollie” because he’s the cool uncle who comes over and randomly throws things at them to catch in increasingly tricky intervals.

They’re flipping backwards over furniture trying to catch random little darts constantly whenever Oliver’s there to talk to Bruce about JL stuff. They need to catch the thing, which drives Bruce quietly crazy even as he acknowledges it’s a useful test of reflexes.

Uncle Ollie sometimes gets bold enough to try and throw shit at Bruce. This isn’t a good idea for several reasons.

athena realises odysseus had never seen his son in song 38

Epic AU

Odysseus: How many suitors are there? Servant: 128. Though, twenty of them formed a guard, after Antinous turned out to be a dick. Odysseus: *Thinking* Servant: Ten are away with the prince, the other ten are keeping guard over Penelope. Odysseus: Why? Servant: They're being bodyguards Odysseus: No, why did they come if they're not seeking the Queen's hand? Servant: Oh, they're trying to convince the Prince to marry their daughters. *Meanwhile* Guard #1: *Watching Telemachus with one of his friends* I'm starting to think the Prince might be swinging the other way. Guard #2: That's alright, I've got a son.

The Batgirls

Alt under cut

Nightwing checked Orphan's pulse, but no heartbeat could be felt. He frowned; although they didn’t always get along, her dying wasn’t something he wished for.

Nightwing: She's… dead.

Spoiler rushed over, administering chest compressions and shouting for Orphan to wake up. Lady Shiva, who had followed the heroes, saw her daughter lifeless on the ground, not fallen in battle but taken down by a villain she deemed beneath both of them.

Red Hood: We could take her to the pit.

Robin: Yeah, I'll owe Grandfather, but we can’t lose her. Plus, death sucks. You feel your bowels release and—

Red Hood: Do not remind me of that! She’s going to come back swinging from that pit.

Robin: Remember when mother punched grandfather after-

Lady Shiva rushed past the heroes and attacked the villain, shooting him multiple times until he collapsed to the ground.

Lady Shiva: No one hurts my baby girl, you son of a bitch!

She aimed for non-lethal spots, ensuring he would survive before launching into a flurry of punches, elbows, and jabs.

Spoiler (pausing from the chest compressions): Aww, she does love her.

Many hours later.

Orphan (revived): She shot him?

Red Hood: Yep, and he lived. She said it’s what you would’ve wanted, even if it pained her to let the coward live… that’s so sweet.

Red Hood pretended to cry, making Orphan laugh as she playfully slapped him on the arm.

Orphan: I owe her.

Red Hood: She said to buy her lunch when she visits.

Orphan: Hm, I can do that. And sorry for kicking you in the stomach when I woke up.

Red Hood: Don’t apologize to me! I barely felt it. Nightwing getting punched in the eye, though… now that was just funny.

Red Hood hugged Orphan tightly. She groaned, embarrassed, but let the hug last.

Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?

Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.

Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.

Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.

Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.

Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.

Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.

-

Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?

Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.

I’m going to expand on something I said in a different post. It’s the one about how I think Bruce and Oliver are best friends…

I said how Oliver and Cassandra were the only ones to not have a choice when it came to their training. I still think this is true but I may add Damian and maybe Roy in with them.

This isn’t saying the others chose their traumas, I’m just saying they decided to train and become heroes/vigilantes.

For example Bruce’s parents died and he decided to go around the world to train.

But Oliver was shipwrecked. It wasn’t his decision to start training, he had to so he would survive. The comics and show are different but have the same premises, if he didn’t do the things he did he would have died.

When they got back they both CHOSE to be heroes/vigilantes. Bruce had already decided it a long time ago and Oliver had the list (show) or saw that his abilities could help and decided to do something (comics).

So in NO way am I saying they chose their traumas, but they did chose to become heroes/vigilantes.

I don’t know much about Damian but I think he didn’t choose to train. Of course, I think, he wanted to, but he would have been forced to anyways.

I know next to nothing about Roy so idk if he wanted the people to train his in archery and marksmanship or not so do with that what you will.

But if Oliver didn’t train he would have died. If Cassandra didn’t train she would have been killed.

Of course, Cassandra didn’t know it wasn’t normal and she couldn’t communicate even if she didn’t want to, but she was still forced. They were the only ones (I think) that had absolutely no choice except to train or they would die.

Also, in the comics (Green Arrow Year One), Oliver saves a bunch of slaves from China White, I think. He found his old ship and could have escaped but chose to save the people instead. I’m not saying he didn’t have a choice for that, I’m saying he had to learn archery to survive.

Please comment your thoughts!

Babs has to leave the clocktower for a Birds of Prey emergency and Cass is the only one around so she has to man the comms because Steph is on a mission. Cass is like yeah sure this will be fine Steph and I work great together nowadays.

But it turns out she's the absolute worst kind of backseat driver. She leads Steph on routes that involve 20 foot wide jumps and boos when Steph says she can't make that leap without a grapple. Steph is fighting five assassins at once and Cass is in her ear like

Cass: He has a bad leg go for the leg. Go for the leg. Why aren't you going for the leg just break out of the hold.

Cass: Wait are you stuck. Why are you stuck just dislocate your wrist and you'll be out of that hold. Batgirl can you hear me just snap your wrist. One two three snap.

Cass: Why are you not snapping. Hitting him isn't working. You're not strong enough to break his hold.

Cass: Maybe I should just come and get you. You're not listening to my words. I'll just rescue you.

Cass: Was that fuck off directed at me or the assassins.

Cass: Good you broke his hold. Now go for the leg. THE LEG. WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY YOU CAN TAKE THEM.

Steph once Barbara gets back: Don't ever leave me again. If I ever hear her on your line again I will rip out my earpiece.

Cass once Barbara quizzes her about the incident: I gave super clear instructions. Maybe she was just sick today idk