The Fearmongering Around Medical Transition For Transmascs Will Never Not Be Upsetting To Me.

please invite your disabled friends to things.

"we didn't invite you because we didn't think you'd want to/be able to come" is not a kind statement.

just ask us. if we say no, then we say no. but what if we say yes?

parties, social events, theatre, cinema, theme parks, museums, whatever. if you're inviting the rest of the friendship group, invite your disabled friends too.

Shoutout to those for whom holidays are a binge trigger. Shoutout to those who are struggling to enjoy their treats in moderation. Shoutout to those who feel they must hide their eating patterns from their closest loved ones this year. May this time next year bring you more peace.

the adhd + intrusive thoughts combo is a fun one because these thoughts should be making me feel awful and anxious but then the adhd gets distracted by a window frame and then i forget to dwell on them

i know anxiety and menstruation are used to dismiss many people's health problems but my god it makes it so fucking invalidating to exist as someone whose problems are genuinely caused by those things

my mental health problems are caused by my menstrual cycle. they're disabling and disastrous.

my anxiety is disabling, i cannot leave the house.

my anxiety was the cause of my chronic fatigue.

anxiety and periods are real, valid causes of suffering. we need to stop dismissing that. just because your problems might be caused by other conditions doesn't make problems caused by "just anxiety" any less painful to deal with.

and if you're not going to invite us, at the very least don't ask us to help you plan the fucking event.

it has happened so many times to me that my friends will ask for ideas about their parties and talk extensively and excitedly about their plans, only to turn around and make the decision for me that i'm not coming.

"i don't think you'd like it"

"it's going to be loud"

"i didn't think you'd want to come"

let me make my own mind up. don't put an answer in my mouth before you've even asked the question. and if you don't want me there at all, don't talk to me about your plans.

please invite your disabled friends to things.

"we didn't invite you because we didn't think you'd want to/be able to come" is not a kind statement.

just ask us. if we say no, then we say no. but what if we say yes?

parties, social events, theatre, cinema, theme parks, museums, whatever. if you're inviting the rest of the friendship group, invite your disabled friends too.

On the topic of trans men experiencing erasure and other problems that are not talked about, we should probably talk about when we actually DO get recognized and it's usually the white skinny trans men who get the most recognition. Which, is awesome and I'm not complaining because getting any recognition is a win. But we need to start also having our black poc, asian, native, hispanic, etc brothers in mind if you have not done so already. They have been erased from history even more than us. The same goes for the fat plus size men, the men who don't pass either because they can't or just don't want to (which is valid!), the men who can't transition or feel comfortable in their agab body (which is also valid), the men who are femme presenting, the men who are butch, men who are disabled etc etc.

Listen to when your black poc, asian, hispanic, native, etc men SPEAK. Listen to them. Listen to the men who are severely underrepresented in our community. Don't you DARE tell them to sit down or shut them out when speaking up about their experiences as trans men. If you see it shut it down immediately! That toxic shit is not safe in our spaces and we will not be quiet about it.

Keep our brothers safe!

the feeling when everyone has made every accommodation they can for me but i'm still making no progress is the worst because i can't blame the world anymore, the problem is just me

Apparently this needs to be said so

Forgetting things is morally neutral! Memory issues are morally neutral!

You're not a bad person if you...

forget things quickly

forget people

can't remember entire stages of your life

can't remember important things

can remember some things very well and forget other things all the time

can't remember things (or anything!) about your interests

forget to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc

forget to reply to texts

remember things and immediately forget them again

can't remember birthdays, events, etc

frequently answer 'I forgot' to questions

can't retain new information

forget things you used to know

only remember things when it's too late

have vague, distorted and/or unreliable memories

depend on others to know how an event you were in played out

have other symptoms that are worsened by memory issues and vice versa

... and anything else I might have missed!

Idk what trans man needs to hear this but you're NOT evil or disgusting for being a man. You do NOT have to suffer for the sins of the patriarchy committed by cis dudes. Being a man doesn't invalidate the misogyny you experienced growing up or experience now. Being a man doesn't mean you deserve to be isolated. Being a man doesn't mean you're inherently predatory or scary. You didn't "choose" this, and finding your true self is NOT "betraying the community" because you happen to be a man and/or masculine rather than a woman and/or feminine. You ARE allowed to be upset when people "affirm" your gender by malgendering you.

You DO deserve a community that uplifts you. You DO deserve to experience trans joy. You DO deserve to have your voices heard and your struggles recognized. Wanting the bare minimum of solidarity is NOT "making everything about trans men".

emotional dysregulation is so weird because i've been near crisis point depressed all week but now i'm back to being a hyperactive diva just because i put on a new playlist