Someone Pls Tell Me There’s More To Life Than This

idk how to explain it but like even when I'm happy I still would rather be dead yk

Mentally floating face down in a river

I tell myself that I haven't been drained my entire life but then I remember wanting to go to sleep for a really really long time when I was like 8

If I can’t be pretty at least let me be skinny.

can someone please tell me if the urge to relapse ever stops like when I'm 30 am I still going to be cutting myself 🙏🙏

shaving over my old scars feels so weird like blades of the razor are going over my scars without actually causing harm. does that make sense lol