You Don't Get Hestia As An Option Because What, You Think I'm Gonna Make This EASY On You?

I was talking to a kid in my daughter’s class today, and she said that she thought it would be fun to write a story about the Titanic, but with supernatural creatures.

So I said, “Yeah, that would great! What would the creatures do? Would they save the Titanic from sinking?”

And she gave me the most disgusted look. I have never seen a 9 year old face look so appalled.

“No,” she said, speaking very clearly so as to never be so grossly misunderstood again, “they’re going to eat the passengers.”

God I hope she lets me read it.

Take this with you

What about with butter and garlic seasonings?

ladies! is there honestly anything sexier than

bread

One good way to tell if your roommate is leaving. They put on pants and deodorant.

Me: Mom, I'm transgender. It means I want to be a man and would like to be known as one from now on.

My Mom: What does that even MeAn?

mothers are like *intentionally misinterprets your words*

Instructions not clear

I asked myself that and my brain said 'everything' very loudly.

My life is in shambles. But if I block it out, then it's not. See sweeties? It's just that simple.

The original simps were the squirrels in Candace’s pants