callistocalavarni

Latest Posts by callistocalavarni

GIRLLLL, OMG THANK UUUUU FOR TAKING YOUR TIME DUMBING IT DOWN FOR ME😭🧎🏻‍♀️(not screaming, just trying to pkace all ky affection in a sentence and not knowing how to😔)

I seriously appreciate you soooo much🩷🫶🏼

also go do your hw!!! you can just read this post if you wanna since I'm trying to figure shi out on my own...🥀

I've noticed that I'm trying to change the 'speck of consiousness that were experiencing right now/current reality'. I'm holding onto the belief that I am in my dr, which is absolutely true, yet am wondering why my consiousness hasn't been reflected yet because I think of the process as instant. I'm a very impatient person. But me shifting or not shouldn't get affected by that. I should probably get rid of trying to control things, but God these circumstances are weird.

I've always felt like what I'm experiencing is my enemy, even after trying to make myself understand that it's really just my reflection. And it is absurd? cause like, I'm literally consiousness. Why am I even acting up when J can do whatever I want? And when I do hold on to the belief that I have stuff, I get humbled...😔🥀

ok don't bother answering to this it's just me rambling and yapping as usual🧎🏻‍♀️

Hiii !!! You are so welcome !!

I can totally understand that even though we are kind of the oppisite ( i would say I'm a pretty patient person and I go with the flow lol )

I feel like going with the flow and allowing things to happen without resistance has helped me a lot tbh !

Also yap however much you want!!

what to do when you're feeling disconnected from your dr?

hi,

I think there is a lot of things you can do in this situation, it honestly depends on you as a person.

You can try adding emotion to your dr, scripting more, daydreaming, making playlists, ( I personally love to connect music to my drs ) or even taking a break and returning to it with a fresh mind. Though, you will still be able to shift even if you feel disconnected.

Hey love <3

I had a questions i thought asking you.

It is regarding scripting,

Is it possible to script to shift to let's say the year 2027 and watch like any movie that is gonna release that year and then shift back and tell everyone?

It is sort of like predicting the future.

Most people say it is possible but you will just shift back to another reality where you know about the movie and others don't.

So can you please clarify this and also can you please share your experiences with scripting because I am always scared that my script will not plan out as I intended it to be because I will miss so many details or not able to imagine it clearly😅.

Hii !

Yes that is possible because there is an infinite amount of possibilities, as long as you have the intention to shift to see the movies and shift back to where they would also be the same.

Scripting is full proof, if you know where you want to end up it should work out. Everything you script will work out how you want it, most of the time even better. Even if you can't imagine a full picture of it. And even if you can, It's one thing to imagine a forest with vibrant trees, loud birds, and a light mist in the air, but being there is so much more fulfilling.

I've had some scary experiences with shifting but those have only been accidental shifts. Ones I haven't scripted for, but that dosent mean everytime you don't script its going to be bad. I've also had some really nice shifts without scripting anything. The architecture in my drs is one of my favorite things, it's all so much better than I first thought it could be. I have OCD here, and having the opportunity to get rid of it is something that I'm also grateful for.

PLEASE don’t boost my ego…………… ilyy

no but seriously I’m planning on going into a stem major for college so I can explain shifting with a better science lens; I fear I didn’t explain it as good as I wanteddd 😔

I’ll return to the operating room very soon !!!!!

hey girlie! hope you're doing well<3 also, love the new blog theme♡

i read this post (https://www.tumblr.com/hrrtshape/782835465002926080/read-this-if-youre-confused-about-persistence-if?source=share) by hrrtshape recently...

do you think that our reality not changing 'instantly' depends upon whether we're fully committed to our consiousness/accept it as a fact or not? putting aside all the desperation, etc, after you're certain that you've shifted in your mind?

I just wanted to get your views on this because tbh I may or may not have understood her poetic prose ;(

thank youuuu!!!🫶🏼🎀 lots of love!!!!!

Hii, I hope this makes sense, it might sound like something everybody has said already but then again thats just the shifting community so who cares, also thanks !

Also this might not make any sense at all.. actually fuck the human language for not allowing me to communicate my abstract thoughts about reality and how time works….I wish I were telepathic.

Quantum mechanics tells us that particles can be in several places at once. If the particles can be in several places at once and we are made up of these particles we should be able to be in several places at once as well. This is were Hugh Everett proposed his many worlds theory, stating that wave functions never collapse. ( stay with me ) Collapse implies that the other states in super position disappear, so that only one position remains. This would be the idea that there is only one true reality, this one that you are experiencing, but with many more theories coming out about how reality works that notion becomes more distant.

The many worlds theory suggests that there is a third level of parallel realities you can experience by making certain choices. Now you can say his many-worlds theory was widely ignored for his time, and you would be correct, but recently it has caught attention of the physics community. I'm not saying that Everett was right about everything and that is theory is the "manifesto" of how we perceive reality but it can certainly be a jumping point of understanding.

Small changes in our thinking can lead to different outcomes. I've had certain realities relay what my mind has picked up, I've noticed that even though you think you are in a stagnant period relating to shifting your mind is still projecting what you are thinking onto the world. For example, many of my dreams are just jumbled non sense of what I do and think throughout my day. Same goes for realities I shift to, even though I haven't experienced certain situations it still shows up.

We don't know a lot about the mind, and (to an extant) we don't know why the mind tends to delay things; learning, developing mental blocks, etc.

Take a piece of paper, look at it fully and imagine that its your consciousness in its entirety. At the top of the paper, measure a centimeter then take your pencil and draw a line horizontally all the way across. See? Thats a sliver of the paper ( your consciousness ) Thats about all you are using. Only that tiny bit is what we are aware of at this moment.

Ever single human has a different way of being aware. Thats why so many people shift in different ways. Its the levels in which you think that make up what you are ware of.

For example, one persons way of shifting could be pacing around in their room daydreaming about their dr and thats how their mind understands shifting, thats how their mind knows when to shift. Another person could use the method between being awake and being asleep to shift and thats how their mind discerns this reality from another.

Our brain is stubborn, fulling accepting something as fact is one thing, being fully aware is another. Desperation or any of the such will not stop you from shifting.

Ok so, to dumb it down, there is no past, there is no future, the only true thing is what you experiencing now - and with the concept of shifting you can choose to experience anything you'd like. The essence of being where you are is deciding what you are aware of. Whenever I shift It feels like smooth, like your in the zone of flowing thoughts, it comes in this abstract state of awareness.

im done looking at this obsidian doc I have three months of homework i need to finish by june so this is all you are getting from me so sorry, ( i have no idea how emma does all that I have so much respect for her )

stay hydrated queen🩷🫶🏼

♡

hey girlie! hope you're doing well<3 also, love the new blog theme♡

i read this post (https://www.tumblr.com/hrrtshape/782835465002926080/read-this-if-youre-confused-about-persistence-if?source=share) by hrrtshape recently...

do you think that our reality not changing 'instantly' depends upon whether we're fully committed to our consiousness/accept it as a fact or not? putting aside all the desperation, etc, after you're certain that you've shifted in your mind?

I just wanted to get your views on this because tbh I may or may not have understood her poetic prose ;(

thank youuuu!!!🫶🏼🎀 lots of love!!!!!

Hii, I hope this makes sense, it might sound like something everybody has said already but then again thats just the shifting community so who cares, also thanks !

Also this might not make any sense at all.. actually fuck the human language for not allowing me to communicate my abstract thoughts about reality and how time works….I wish I were telepathic.

Quantum mechanics tells us that particles can be in several places at once. If the particles can be in several places at once and we are made up of these particles we should be able to be in several places at once as well. This is were Hugh Everett proposed his many worlds theory, stating that wave functions never collapse. ( stay with me ) Collapse implies that the other states in super position disappear, so that only one position remains. This would be the idea that there is only one true reality, this one that you are experiencing, but with many more theories coming out about how reality works that notion becomes more distant.

The many worlds theory suggests that there is a third level of parallel realities you can experience by making certain choices. Now you can say his many-worlds theory was widely ignored for his time, and you would be correct, but recently it has caught attention of the physics community. I'm not saying that Everett was right about everything and that is theory is the "manifesto" of how we perceive reality but it can certainly be a jumping point of understanding.

Small changes in our thinking can lead to different outcomes. I've had certain realities relay what my mind has picked up, I've noticed that even though you think you are in a stagnant period relating to shifting your mind is still projecting what you are thinking onto the world. For example, many of my dreams are just jumbled non sense of what I do and think throughout my day. Same goes for realities I shift to, even though I haven't experienced certain situations it still shows up.

We don't know a lot about the mind, and (to an extant) we don't know why the mind tends to delay things; learning, developing mental blocks, etc.

Take a piece of paper, look at it fully and imagine that its your consciousness in its entirety. At the top of the paper, measure a centimeter then take your pencil and draw a line horizontally all the way across. See? Thats a sliver of the paper ( your consciousness ) Thats about all you are using. Only that tiny bit is what we are aware of at this moment.

Ever single human has a different way of being aware. Thats why so many people shift in different ways. Its the levels in which you think that make up what you are ware of.

For example, one persons way of shifting could be pacing around in their room daydreaming about their dr and thats how their mind understands shifting, thats how their mind knows when to shift. Another person could use the method between being awake and being asleep to shift and thats how their mind discerns this reality from another.

Our brain is stubborn, fulling accepting something as fact is one thing, being fully aware is another. Desperation or any of the such will not stop you from shifting.

Ok so, to dumb it down, there is no past, there is no future, the only true thing is what you experiencing now - and with the concept of shifting you can choose to experience anything you'd like. The essence of being where you are is deciding what you are aware of. Whenever I shift It feels like smooth, like your in the zone of flowing thoughts, it comes in this abstract state of awareness.

im done looking at this obsidian doc I have three months of homework i need to finish by june so this is all you are getting from me so sorry, ( i have no idea how emma does all that I have so much respect for her )

it's okay girlie, I'll eat devour your post up anyway >:) *cue evil laughter

blushing .. ehhehe

I don't want to guess that it's me but I also genuinely don't know if my ask about hrrtshape and her post led you to piece something better than Shakespeare's work... 😔 *sob

Anyway, my heart just cracked open a little at your latest post, thank youuuuuuuu regardless for your blog!!!🎀🫶🏼

oh it was you ! !

Now I don't want to lead you into thinking that what I will say is the best piece of literature you will ever read because its DEF NOT. It will sound like I smoked 20 joints at once while watching government conspiracy videos………………….. It might take me a day or two to write this up but don't expect anything like Ada Lovelace level of critical thinking but I will try my best lol

ily

im cooking up a shifting post so deviously philosophically scientific that Hugh Everett himself is tap dancing in his grave as I type this up

i have only my beautiful ask to thank for this you know who you are

hey quick question if thats alrighty? lately ive been kinda worried my dr isnt "real". My worries lately are "I can shift but for some reason I cant shift to my dr" beacuase its fictional. could I have a little help w this it would be appreciated!!

Hi,

So, I had this problem too a while back and there is a few solutions I can give you !

My personal opinion is that everybody's drive for anything is their emotions. Connecting your feelings to your dr is a very solid way to shift. What helped me the most was adding emotion to my dr, I would day dream about it and try my best to feel what it would be like to be in that situation or moment. You aren't just a place holder in your reality, you are apart of it - the one perceiving it.

Thinking about how others view you as well. When ever I shift to certian drs I like to think in my s/o's point of view. (you can do this with any one.) And I mean, I really try and think like them, inner monolog and all.

Another option would be taking a step back and take a break from thinking about that dr. Once you come back your brain will be refreashed and you can look at it with new eyes.

I know sometimes our brains like to give us bumps in our thinking, but I can assure you that your dr is real. And you can definitely still shift even if you have that mindset, but I hope you can overcome it!

So, would it be possible for me to change reality together with a person from my Waiting Room? Like, I "created" this boy, is it possible for us both to go to the same reality together?

yes, infinite means never ending, you can do anything !

hiii grill, i’m kinda new to shifting and i’m just wondering how “time ratio’s” work. like i’m so scared that i’ll shift and then when i get back to my cr fifty years have passed or something lmao. i’m just anxious idk if you can answer this.

Hi sorry for late reply,

There is nothing to worry about as long as you have the intention to shift back here at a specific time then you will.

Experiencing death in your dr

This was absolutely very weird and I can't even explain how I felt at this moment....

I was in my fame reality and everything was going as how life would usually go. I was in a restaurant with my s/o and we were having a date night together and enjoying the view from the window we were sitted at, then suddenly we hear commotion and my s/o gets up and tells me that he thinks something is wrong we need to go, that's when the gun fire started so my bodyguards came to me and were leading both of us out that's when I see a masked person pointing a gun at me and firing it, the bullet hit my forehead head like I could feel it pierce it and then there was a ringing sound... Then darkness... It felt like I was in the void.... Like I was everything and everything was me...

My eyes open and I find myself in a room and guess what room was that?

My room in my K-pop reality. I felt like I was being yanked up and I opened my eyes to my members looking at me like I'm some kind of drug addict. I didn't even have the sike or energy to stay there so I said the safeword and woke up here to my friend telling me that her boyfriend cheated on her.

This made me realise that maybe we don't die at all and that has quited all the insecurities that I had around death.

It was weird, it was creepy and it happened so fast.....but I guess that means that we are immortal?🤷🏽‍♀️

~ No I didn't script this, why the hell would I even!!?!

seeing revenge of the sith in theaters totally didn’t steal some of the plot for one of my drs kahsuskwbsbsjalajnskks ……..let me get ready……….

hi !! i hope you’re having a good day ^^

I hope this doesn’t take much up your time or upset you in any way. If anything I say sounded stupid or a waste of time, I am terribly sorry!!

So this question has been stuck in my head for quite some time now. How come when we shift our subconscious into another reality, it takes time. However, when we are in our desired reality, a “safe word/action” or even intention is enough for us to shift back into our current reality. So if we are in our desired reality, is it possible that it may take longer to shift back to our current? even maybe get stuck in it?

Thank you in advance for taking your time to read this !!

Hii ! Thank you so much :)

I think it's the mindset that we have in this reality. We have lived our whole lives here from birth so we are used to it. The same thing happens if you shift to a dr and spend your whole life there. I shift to certain places where I grew up/lived a long life in quicker than others. All it could take for me to shift to one of these lives is just re-playing a memory or simply thinking about it because I am so attached there.

I don't think you could ever get stuck in any reality.

Hii

when i attempt to shift every night i experience a really vivid dreams like it feels veryy real and sometimes the dreams are about my Drs but the only thing iam nott aware in it so how to be fully aware in there because i feel thats the key to fully shift 🥹

Hii

Maybe try an awake method. I often dream about my drs too and right after I wake up from them I begin to start my method and shift. So when you wake up from these dreams you can use that to shift.

Haii I've always thought that shifting was about shifting your consciousness to another reality yk, bc of the multiverse. But I've seen people that either believe the consciousness theory, multiverse or 4d separately. What do you believe from your experience? And do you have a dr that you've "made yourself"? Like it isn't a show or movie form here. ^_^

Hii! I'm gonna be honest, I don't know what any of the theories in this community are. I just do my own thing haha.. I personally believe that you are shifting your awareness to another consciousness.

I have a lot of drs that I've scripted myself! I only shift to a couple of tv shows/movies here. But I mostly go to my "own" places. Recently, I've been scripting for a bunch of different better crs. I plan to permashift soon and live those out as well as re-live some other lives.

hi! i am completely new to shifting, i know about the basics like methods and scripting but i just wanted to ask if theres anything else that i should know about??

Hi! All you really need to know is where you want to go and have the belief that you are there ! There isn't any rules to shifting so have fun!

before i had shifted i used to think shifters were the most open-minded people. Having known of the limitlessness, the ability to do so much, the knowledge of already being so much. I thought their experiences might make them better people, distinguished and graceful in their words and presence. But honestly, now, having this blog and a space to interact with so many shifters, I no longer think that way. It's all the same, a mirror of this current reality. Oppression, hatred, ignorance, the same old foolishness and denseness. Sometimes I feel terribly sad over it. Whenever I log on to this blog, I feel im in a huge crowd, being pushed around. Loud alarms and bells ringing all around me, pamphlets of... i don't know, worthless information like the prediction of the dates of the world ending, aka the same "Actually, i think-" "no, this is wrong because-" "you'll never shift because-" "Im so tired of people doing this because-" all scattered around in shifting tags. But i feel so euphoric that now i've shifted. Now im grounded in places better than this. I no longer have to rely on these people. I won't have to interact with these people ever again. Then i am able to put on a fake smile, let go of some things, and read the same "wild" opinions again. Knowing one day i'd be deserving of eternal freedom when i'll break away from this reality, and forget. Each and everything. When the time's right. I suppose I hate humanity. I can't do anything about it. I would be foolish to try to change the vast majority of people, who are reflecting themselves boldly all around me. The only place I could ever be comfortable in, is the world i've created inside of me. What I portray of myself on here, is a show. Nothing strikes me, maddens me from here, that's why. It will be a waste of my own energy.

How many DRs do you have altogether?

uhhrrhr....... up in the hundreds idk for sure...

Hi! I’ve been trying to shift for awhile and havent and I’ve been thinking it’s cause I always think about the next day in my cr when I’m trying to shift do you have any tips for like fixing that?!

Think about the next day in your dr instead, try and meditate on your dr and moments that happen there. Seems like you answered your own question lol

heyyy!

So I’m new to shifting and there’s something that bothers me. Everytime I attempt to shift, I get very anxious when I start to feel symptoms because In the past, I’ve had serious sleep paralysis with like “demons” or dark creatures and meanwhile I had like shifting symptoms (it was more like these creatures dragged me around my room and everything felt like as if it was spinning; I didn’t know about shifting at that time) and now when I get shifting symptoms I associate them with these sleep paralysis’s and get very anxious! That’s why I always stop and open my eyes.

I really don’t know what to do about it :(

Also I think this could also be related to the fear I have to what’s going on in the world (murder, kidnapping and all that from the news). Because of that, I already go to sleep fearful. I always worry that something might happen while I’m asleep (to me) and I don’t know how to get rid of that!

I really hope you may have some advice and can help me 🤍

thank you

sincerely

Hi! That sounds very scary. I'm sorry you have experienced that..

Reprogramming your mind might be a way to fix this. There seems to be something in your subconscious holding the belief of being scared. You can do so by robotic affirming, that's my favorite way to do it. Just remind yourself to persist in the belief that there is nothing to be scared of and that you are safe. Someone in a disc sever I'm in had a similar issue : 

Separating shifting and sleep could help as well, try and shift during the day while you are awake. 

https://www.tumblr.com/callistocalavarni/780181641448521728/is-it-possible-to-shift-without-any-method-like

Can you please elaborate on this more? I’d love to hear your perspective on the philosophical side of it in more detail!

Hi, sorry for the late reply.

I think this post sums up what I meant !

Have you revised your birth year in the current reality if you don't mind me asking? Or is there anyone among your friends who manifested that?

thank you and have a great day

Hi, I don't know anyone who has done that, but I have shifted to places where my birth year is different. I don't know what you mean by revised.

goodbye..maybe?

I think I understand why so many accounts on here deactivate. I feel the lure to the delete button as well. I might keep this account, I might not, I just don't want to leave out of the blue. So I guess don't be surprised if my account is gone one day loll.. maybe I'm being emo and i'll delete this post in the morning but shifting has felt like a chore since this account has gotten traction, albeit not a lot, but still there are 500 of you and that's kinda scary.

If you want to hear about any of my dr's ask me it will probably motivate me to stay but I also thought about starting a new account in secret who knows. 

I really do want to post more stories from my drs but,, i’ll shift to a reality and a sequence of events happen but if i try to explain it here it literally does not make any sense because it only works with that realities logic

Hi! I have a question. If you shift to a reality and your concious is just going into the You that's already there- what happens to the other you? Like say you Shift and move your consciousness, what happens to the Other Yous consciousness that you shifted into? Do you just take over?

Hi, You are not shifting your consciousness you shifting your awareness. Consciousness is infinte, you can choose to be aware of anything you would like. Nothing weird will happen, there is no "other you" you are just not aware of that consciousness anymore. I hope that makes sense..

hello!<3 I've picked out these virtual gifts for you, you deserve it! 🌺🪷🐚 ( ≧∀≦)ノ

Can I be your 🌕 anon for this one post? even if I'm not planning to make another ask again.

I would like to speak my mind.

I had never felt more connected to my Dr than yesterday night. I don't have any harsh opinions about this reality, but I know that I belong in those that make my heart giddy. I'd had a positive and pleasant weekend, so I knew that I would shift. I didn't really think about 'having' to shift that night, yk? I felt satisfied and closed my eyes. I told myself that I was already there, and got knocked out... But here I am. I really don't mind that part(now), but it really frustrated me this morning.

I feel like there's two voices in my head during situations like these. The initial thought: 'I don't want to continue with the above mindset of getting frustrated and waking up here, or wondering what I should do. It's not helping me'. But then the second thought/correction of 'there's nothing to change, you dont need to change or fix anything to shift' comes to mind. I go with the latter, because I believe that this kind of mindset will be more beneficial to me. I affirm that shifting comes naturally to me, and that I will be where I think of myself to be, that I shift on command, and more like it. I embody this self and feel content. Then a few days pass by, my CR is right in front of me and I feel like I'm stagnant and nothing is changing even while holding these facts close. I embody my dr self, wake up here and get annoyed, then think of what to do... the Cycle continues. I want to break it.

These situations make me feel like the physical world is something separate from me, and that we both aren't connected(even though I'm incorrect).

In turn I feel less confident in myself. I find myself thinking "I'll shift tonight", even though I know I can do it now, even thought it is easy and effortless. When I decide to try, I start anticipating, close my eyes with the intention to shift only to get this nagging feeling that nothing would have changed when I open my eyes like always, in the back of my mind.

Just the aspect of shifting is beautiful. I don't want it to be this way for me knowing that I could be, and am, so much more.

Thank you<3

🌕 of course!! thank you for the gifts :))

Have you ever tried shifting during the day, or when you wake up in the morning? Right when you wake up your mind is trying to adjust to your reality, maybe try and shift in those moments. If you are trying the same routine over and over again but nothing is happening switch it up. You can shift with any mindset, I sometimes get stuck in weird thought pattrens and I still end up shifting.

You know you can do it, so don't give up.

Is it possible to shift without any method? Like just reprogramming your brain every day and listening to subliminals help?

Yes, all you need is an awareness.

The menstrual cycle and letting go

my thoughts and confessions about how periods relates to shifting; nothing is fact

The gel began to warm up against my skin, the blanket covering my chest shielded me from the man giving me the ultrasound. The stick poked at my side, under my breast and then the place where my spleen should have been; I wasn’t born with one. This happens a lot when you come out with a heart defect. The nurse wasn’t looking for a baby but for the beats of my own heart. He sounded embarrassed whenever he told me to move positions or when he left the room, so I could change into a gown. His nature reminded me of when I was in middle school and a boy would agonizingly ask me out because of a dare. After it was done, I peeled the stickers off my body, wiped the gel away, got dressed, and made my way to the room where I was supposed to wait for my doctor. Like usual, the wait was longer than the interaction. She told me everything looked fine, I was healthy, and asked if I was getting regular exercise. After a monotonous conversation about figure skating, my mother's voice chimed in, asking about an IUD.

 Several months ago, I was debating getting one to prevent my period. I get very emotional during my period; it’s all very painful. I scripted them to be very light in my realities, so I wouldn’t have to deal with the tough parts. I was wondering why I still wanted to keep it; I notice many don’t. But I noticed that all my life my view on bleeding was that of a burden. I laughed alongside other women who cursed Eve's name, I groaned with my mother whenever she was on hers, and I never considered the reasons for tracking it. I never looked at it in any positive way.

A month or two ago, the feelings it brought were so heavy the moment I stood, I felt every emotion that I had been burying in me the days prior release from my thighs; I was so sore, like I would crumble. I lay down and cried. Then I started to notice that when I bleed I could feel all the things I’ve held onto leave my body, physically and emotionally. It’s when I noticed this I stopped being shameful of my period and started welcoming it.  Tiny rant: I realized I had a negative view of my period because of the many men who deemed it as sinful and disgusting; something that women should be ashamed of. I didn’t even realize this, and this is coming from someone who regularly deconstructs societal norms; that's how ingrained it was in my mind..sigh 

Before I started regularly shifting, I often held grudges. I never let go of anything anybody ever did to me; good or bad. Now I am not saying that you won’t shift if you do this; I am talking about myself personally. I had heard of the term letting go here and there. In the title of posts I liked to bookmark for later but never actually read, and in Reddit posts about how it changed the way they view shifting. But I never really understood what they were talking about. I had read about this girl who used her dreams to discover her blockages and such, but I didn’t have any intention of working on that. Because frankly, I didn’t think I had any. Ironically, that night I had two dreams about two people wronging me. 

One dream was with my biological father, he was very abusive. After his yelling and hitting, I ran away, climbed a highway wall and ended up walking along a dried-out river taking photos along the way. At the end of the dream, I was talking with my mom in the car. 

The other dream was with my stepfather. My mother was ignoring me and dismissing the fight. In this dream, I acted like a child alongside him. I was screaming like a toddler, throwing a fit because I wasn’t getting what I wanted. I don’t even remember what we were fighting about. But I had woken up from that dream realizing that they only mattered if I had put my energy into them. The problem was fixed when I didn’t pay mind to it, but it remained when I engaged with it. That's when I got it. Letting go isn’t about forcing yourself to forget–it’s about not engaging. I used to have an opinion on these things, but now they’re just people I once knew. When a thought about them pops up, I don’t fight it or feed into it. I just let it come and go. For me, letting go is refusing to dwell on shit that doesn’t matter. You’re choosing to step into a new reality, so why waste energy on one that doesn't serve you? 

It seems to relate, if you think about it in a poetic way. The moment I started understanding what was happening to me during my period, I also understood how my emotions were holding me back. It’s that stage of letting the emotions flow out and then be done with it. Be with them and let them go on their way. I see my period differently than before. I sat on the couch with my mom, it was early, we were the only ones awake. It was when she was talking about how her period came early I interrupted saying I changed my mind; I don’t want an IUD.  It’s natural, my body lives by the phases it produces so why would I want to stop it? Now, I felt that stopping it would do more harm than good, like I wouldn’t have the chance to let go of anything. That all of my burdens would be stuck in my thighs feasting on my legs refusing to let me walk. My grudges that stayed in place long before those two dreams prevented me from the best outcome in this reality. When I started putting my energy into better things instead of past events I received an apology and finally parted ways with another. 

Whenever I have a negative or positive thought about past grievances I don’t fight or feed into it, I let it come and move on. Don't dwell.