I Watched Bridget Jones’s Diary For The First Time And I Cannot Fathom How Badly I Need Mark Darcy

This is no man. This is a rare woodland sprite who lives in a colourful toadstool inside a fairy ring. In reality he is three apples tall and has transparent tinkerbell wings.

idk if I need vitamin d, prozac, dick or an exorcism

I am disgusted with him now I hate him so much I miss him

I’m so obsessed with him oh my god I want to eat him

my man my man my man ⋆ ˚｡⋆ </3 !!

I haven’t been as angsty as I used to and im getting really concerned

Seth Cohen is my one true love. I’m having trouble coping with the fact that he isn’t real and the chances of finding someone like him are slim to none. Take me out of my misery already I can’t do modern dating anymore!!!!!!!

Bones and All (2022) dir. Luca Guadagnino

Lana Del Rey for skims (2024)

Mark? MARK? Hes wired in. Sorry? He’s wired in. Is he? Yes. How bout now you still wired in? Call security. You issued 24 million new shares of stock! You were told that if new investors came along- how much were your shares diluted? How much were his? You signed the papers. You set me up! You’re gonna blame me because you were the business head of the company and you made a bad business deal with your own company? This is gonna be like im not a part of facebook. It won’t be like youre not a part of facebook. Youre not a part of facebook. My name’s on the masthead! You might wanna check again. Is this because i froze the account??? You think we were gonna let you parade around in your ridiculous suits pretending you were running this company? SORRY MY PRADAS AT THE CLEANERS! Along with my hoodie and my fuck you flip flops, you pretentious douchebag! Security’s here, youll be leaving now. Im not signing those papers. We’ll get that signature. Tell me this isnt about me getting into the Phoenix. You… you did it i knew you did it! You planted the story about the chicken! I didnt plant that story about the chicken- Whats he talking about? You had me accused of animal cruelty! Seriously. What the hells the chicken? And i’ll bet what you hated the most, is that they identified me as a co founder of facebook WHICH I AM. You better lawyer up asshole, cause im not coming back for 30%… im coming back for EVERYTHING. Get him out of here. Its okay, I’m going. Hang on! Almost forgot. Here’s your $19,000. I wouldn’t cash it though i drew it on the account you froze. I like standing next to you, Sean. It makes me look so tough.

This time will be different ghouls don’t worry! I’m going to take care of myself and get new hobbies!