Carenjadee - Untitled

list of things I want to be:

mysterious

angelic

enigmatic

ethereal

boisterous

list of things I am:

introverted

tired

sleepy

confused

unproductive

Sometimes… I tell myself I’m okay. 

          I repeat it, like a mantra.

                                          I'm   okay, 

                                             I'm   o kay, 

                                                I'm   o k ay, 

                                                   I'm   o k a y.

                                     Because, I’m afraid if I stop,                                              even for a moment,                                         I will  DROWN  in all the                                            reasons I am… NOT  

stop reconnecting with toxic people from your past because you’re lonely. focus on getting better and attracting better.

exhausted

im tired of people assuming somethings about me, sure it may be a bit true but it isn’t the whole truth.

im tired of people telling me what to do or think, i dont need your opinion and please just let me do what i want to do and what i think is right. if you don’t agree that’s your own opinion and im not stopping you, i just don’t give a sht.

but what im most tired of is the people in i considered my ‘friends’, i ask for your help yet all that ends up happening is you judge the way i think or do things. so please if you can’t handle me then just please leave im totally okay with not having you as my ‘friend’

thought

i find myself thinking about you. i’ve thought about what you could be doing, what you’re thinking, or about you being here. and i can’t stop. i find myself thinking about you again and there’s nothing i can do rather than to bury my love for you.

The special golden

emotional night

i begin to think about how lonely nights have felt. im beginning to drown in my own thoughts on how physically im not lonely, i have family and friends who i know love me. but im emotionally lonely, i feel as if im gonna feel this loneliness till the end. it’s frightening because i know is one of the possible outcomes of my life.

growth

a mind possible of thinking about anything a body fit to run around all day through the fields a age where you feel free to wonder and i’m here reminiscing about yesterday the mind focused on the work the body of a child is all grown up the age where you want to be rebellious and i’m here thinking about today not sure about what to do not sure if you’ll achieve your goals not sure if you’re free to wonder and i’m here wondering about tomorrow ~c.e