God, I Can’t Tell You How Much The “there’s Not Enough Enrichment In My Enclosure” Joke Has Helped

Oh no, my wonder is not "childlike." My whimsy is old. My frivolity is steeped in ancient wisdom.

My silliness is battle worn. My awe at the world has been long forged through trial & tribulation.

I have earned this wonderment. I have protected it for decades against a society that tells me constantly that it should not belong to me.

I was born with wonder, and I have carried it, against all odds, with me through adulthood.

It is not "childlike" by now it is Older than me.

im cleaning out my phone and found that i have saved this tiktok no less than Five separate times

this is such a profoundly stupid thing to be mad about but. i periodically think about how banksy made one of my single favorite pieces of art of all time, and everything else he's ever done has sucked. man, how did you nail it once

it's always popular to ask "why is dating so difficult right now?" and the obvious answer is to gesture at the people asking this forever and perhaps rhetorically wonder why you would expect finding someone to share your life with to be easy, end of question.

but some people will plunge on and say it must be because young men have been misled by the manosphere and now they want the wrong thing or behave the wrong way or whatever, and that's such a tempting straw to grasp because Social Media Makes People Worse is a compelling hypothesis when we see it every day (and of course you can ask what all those makeup tutorials and true crime podcasts are doing to young women besides raising their suicide rate).

personally I don't think young men behaved better in the 1970s or the '90s or the early 2010s or whenever the supposed golden age of heterosexual dating was supposed to be, and while the manosphere is obviously a problem (in the sense that it's awash with ideas that are untrue, unkind, and unhelpful) I don't think it is the problem, it seems like a typical exaggerated social media response to other problems (gender segregation on social media doesn't seem more extreme than the gender segregation that ruled most of human history, so that can't be the entire story).

women will say that men don't want to commit (despite all wanting tradwives!) and men will say uh stuff about women that doesn't bear repeating to be honest but let's politely say that both sides will accuse each other of having unrealistic expectations or overly picky standards -- and of course that's a very real possibility, that people can be fixated on fantasies and find real life doesn't measure up; one of the original critiques of social media was that it could give a misleading impression of how good everyone but you is having it (until it became in vogue to post about your mental illnesses).

but if we want to look for material changes that could potentially have impacted the heterosexual dating market, there's no getting around the fact that staying single is a much better deal for women now than it was for much of the 20th century, and indeed the centuries before that, when the desirability of marriage was enforced by incentives that strongly penalised not settling for a man, in the worst case including institutionalisation for single mothers and even the forced sterilisation of unmarried women deemed promiscuous.

as the legal barriers and overt discrimination against women were dismantled in the 20th century, the wage gap followed: in the US prior to 1980, women earned about 60% of what men earned, but by 2002 this had risen to 80% (the rise has slowed, it's 82% today); this reduction in the pay disparity has the side effect of reducing the value of what a man would bring to the household.

it's not a good look for men but there's no denying that some of the value they used to bring to a relationship included privileges like:

access to higher paying jobs

protection from harassment by other men

ability to live independently of controlling parents or guardians

ability to have children without having them taken away

now that many of these privileges are extended to everyone in a more egalitarian fashion, having a man around is simply less necessary than it was; you would expect this reduction of privileges to push some relationships that were already marginal prospects into being nonviable.

and perhaps that's a good thing, for the relationships that survive to be mutually beneficial arrangements and less like hostage situations.

me at family gatherings

hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset

the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years

taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult

at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)

'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65

it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age

it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.

you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.

young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!

there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big

Cats (2019) - Review

Watching Cats in the midst of the COVID-19 quarantine was a surreal experience. I guess this movie should have been one of the first hints of the rollercoaster year that 2020 is currently shaping up to be. 

Most of the movie made me narrow my eyes in search of the mission of this film. For one it's really funny that the ‘cats’ in this movie look a lot like humans dressed in cat suits who are really drunk and so want to put in a little more pizzaz into showing off their cat skills. Also ‘Jellicle’ sounds a lot like genitals at times which is highlights the fact that none of the male ‘cats’ have any visible genitals but all the female cats do have visible breasts (real cats were apparently never consulted during costume design). Also for a movie where the characters are visibly trying to come across as cats and they them selves identify as cats there are a surprising number of Cat puns that try to lighten the mood but just make it more cringe worthy.

Watching this film made me understand the need to be more self-compasionate. We all make mistakes and questionable choices. If Dame Judi Dench who has Macular degeneration and Sir Ian McKellen who suffers from memory loss chose to be part of this movie I guess I could live with my poor life choices as well (if only my life choices could pay me as well).

All in all, this movie gives Cats bad PR, really bad PR. It reduces these complex, majestic little furry beasts into laughing stocks and cats world over should consider suing.

Notable mentions: Why are  cockroaches the same size as rats? That just shows that either they have teeny tiny rats or super massive cockroaches in their made-up universe.

Add on: The performances of the all the humans who are masquerading as cats are really really good individually but sewn together just cannot make you distracted from the fact that they are humans in digitally enhanced cat suits.

The brain is just 8 lbs of meat that sits in complete darkness and plays a video game of what it thinks is the most realistic thing ever.

Hello World

I have been on the website long enough as a spectator and now is my time to shineee Quick question how much of myself is an okay amount to share?

I am 26, an only child, science enthusiast, currently pursuing a business degree and overall an overthinking bag of contradictions