Fanon Lumine Is Just So Bad. I Won’t Get Into Specifics But She’s Just This Weird Sugar Coated Version

Fanon Lumine is just so bad. I won’t get into specifics but she’s just this weird sugar coated version of herself made just for shipping without the concrete ships usually need. There’s never much content of her rage, the fact that she’s angry at everything and herself. Never any content on the loneliness or the helplessness she feels. Never anything on her wings, her past before Teyvat, the fact that it’s implied she’s an eldritch primordial being of chaotic power

She’s surrounded by people but so alone, her surrogate little sister is what’s keeping her from going over the edge sometimes, she’s so sweet yet filled with anger, she cares about her friends so much but would drop everything for a mere second to see her brother, she probably hates certain people more than she lets on

Lumine is just so interesting as the Traveler and we need more content of her strange personality in Teyvat as someone so kind but so exhausted as well

A dive into Vertin's core aspect of her character and it's impact through the story: Part 3

Part 1

Part 2

Matilda and Vertin

It's important to note that despite everything, Matilda and Vertin are good friends.

Matilda had the same aspirations as Vertin did as children: the freedom of self expression in spite of being raised to abandon those values; to know their world around them than to just learn from the textbooks.

However, what sets them apart is that Matilda willingly chose to join the white marble.

What sets them apart is the extent they’re willing to go to achieve that, and how they help people at their positions.

What sets them apart is how they handle their own inner struggle.

Matilda finds Vertin, who is in a miserable state, utterly unresponsive to the people around her because Sonetto is no longer around.

In just a day, the girl had already reverted back to being a mess, a sight that shocks Matilda greatly, but also pity for the girl who she respected a lot as a friend and classmate.

Sonetto had already given her the lengthy details, but seeing it for herself still leaves a pit in Matilda’s stomach. It was awful, how low Vertin had let herself be.

Yet somehow, Matilda feels determined, approaching her old friend as she tries to talk to her.

It doesn’t work of course, Vertin doesn’t even look like she seems to acknowledge the girl’s presence. This is what Sonetto was fearing, that without her, Vertin has no one she can open herself to, no one she could vent her pain to, no one she can let herself be broken fully towards.

It’s almost painful in a way, that even though Vertin is as much of a mess as she is, she still hides herself away from others, to not trouble them in having to deal with her. Even though it only makes people more worried, Vertin refuses to let anyone in, to know the full extent of her pain.

If Matilda was similar to Sonetto, she would likely try to find comfort for her in any way, to try to be an emotional pillar for Vertin. But that was nigh impossible, she didn't know Vertin as long as Sonetto did, didn’t understand her as much as Sonetto does.

And besides, she isn't Sonetto anyways.

“You’re scared, aren’t you?”

Matilda doesn’t know Vertin as well as Sonetto does, so she doesn’t know what would be the best way to help Vertin. But she is more perceptive than she lets on.

“Not of others, but yourself. You’re terrified to let people in, because you don’t want them to bother having to worry over you. To not have to deal with you. For them to not have to care about you.”

Matilda can’t be like Sonetto, a girl too kind, too caring and too sweet to ever be harsh or direct on people she cares about, especially Vertin. But she is kind in her own ways too.

“Sonetto is worried sick for you, I don’t know if you knew that or not. But if you do, then get up. Get up and let me help you do something about it.”

Vertin, although surprised, didn’t respond. But even so, the girl still stands, following Matilda lifelessly, for as miserable as she was, a part of her also understood just how much trouble she was placing on Sonetto. How much of a burden it must be to care for someone like her.

She feels sick of herself for doing that to her partner, and so she follows Matilda, to see if there’s something she could do.

But what can Matilda do? What does she even have that Sonetto doesn’t? How can she help Vertin when Sonetto, the person closest to her, couldn't even do that?

She can’t.

Of course Matilda can’t. They were only friends and not even close ones, it would be completely arrogant of her to think she could do anything for Vertin.

So instead, she will get Vertin to help herself, by using her divination skills and her own perceptive nature to guide the girl to her own answers.

Matilda drags Vertin’s inner thoughts out and lays it bare for her, forcing her to confront those memories and the regrets she holds within her mind. Some bad, some very bad, and all of it still hurts to this day as she constantly relieves them.

At first, Vertin is bombarded with toxic and painful thoughts of herself, but it’s through Matilda’s words and guidance that Vertin starts to see things a bit more clearly. By having Matilda offering her perspective, Vertin can see the events in a more objective manner.

Vertin had kept all these events warped against her. She wanted every reason to hate herself and so her memories were altered to fit into that narrative, to make it easier to put the blame on her and solely her. But Matilda will not let that happen, she will offer her own insights and keep Vertin from spiralling out of control.

Eventually, they do make progress, as Vertin starts to understand that she wasn’t responsible for everything. That there were things completely out of her control and she shouldn’t, couldn’t have known better. She was only trying her best in her own ways, even if it didn’t turn up well.

But the catalyst that got Vertin to even begin to accept this was Matilda, for through her conversation with her, did Vertin start to notice something in her that she never before. Something that gave her a sense of comfort, knowing she isn’t alone; something that they both share in common.

They are both selfless individuals.

Vertin gave herself up to help those around her, disregarding her own safety and agency if it means the people around her can make it out safe. She has no inherent sense of worth, only existing to help others as a way to bring meaning to her life.

Matilda gave her life to her studies, her academics and for the constant grind to become the very best, to stand at the top amongst the top. She does it so she can be acknowledged by the people around her, so that she can convince herself that she is meaningful, that she has meaning, that she can help.

Her constant drive to better herself is so she could feel like she is useful, to feel like she matters, to feel like she can help anyone in need.

Her sense of value comes from other people’s perception of her, and she will go to great lengths to prove that she can be useful. She exists to be helpful to those around her, for her value comes from their perception of her.

The way they go about it may be different, but Vertin and Matilda share this trait between themselves. They were mirrors of one another, reflecting both ends of the extreme. And because of that, Vertin learned to trust the girl more, to start opening herself up for she now understands that the girl truly does sympathize with her, at least somewhat.

Finally, after a long and gruelling journey of unwinding all the events in her head, Vertin comes face to face with the thing that represents all her insecurities, all her doubts, all her hatred and pain that she has kept within her for years until now.

Vertin faces herself, the one that started it all.

Gazing at the girl that represented Vertin’s biggest regrets and mistakes. The girl who had wronged so many lives because of her own naivety and unwillingness to look past herself.

She admits to herself that after everything, Vertin still cannot forgive her. She can’t forgive the girl for what she had done, for the people she had lost, for the trust she had broken and for the mistakes she had foolishly wrought over and over.

She admits that the girl was stupid, blinded by her own short-sighted and naive views on the world that caused others to suffer because of it. She admits that the things she has caused can never be erased, that the pain will never fade away no matter the decades that pass by.

And yet, Vertin admits that there is more to the girl, that in spite of all the bad she had done, some of it was good.

The girl had saved lives, gave others a reason to keep going, gave others hope and the conviction to follow their own hearts and even became the reason for others to put their faith and trust and love in, because they truly believed in the girl, placing their hopes and faiths into her goal, but above all, because they genuinely cared about her.

Vertin admits it, she admits that she does not know if she could keep walking a straight path, that she would never make a horrible mistake again like she had done before. That she wouldn’t one way or another lose the most precious things to her, that she won’t falter and break again.

But she has hope.

Because in spite of everything, there is still someone who loves her. And for that, she wants to have hope, to hold onto it as tightly as she could.

Hope that through them and through her crew, she won’t fall back into her old ways, that she won’t break again.

Hope that someday, maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in a long long time, but someday; she can learn to like herself a little more.

With that, Vertin finally concludes her session with Matilda, thanking the girl for what she has done. But most of all, she acknowledges that the two of them are alike, going through something similar albeit still very different ends of the spectrum; but if the girl ever needs help, she is willing to be there for her.

Vertin’s selfless nature never disappears, and it likely won’t ever.

Because that is who she is at her heart, a girl who cares far too much to ever let other’s lives sifted away. But she will try to include herself this time, to find things about herself that she can like, to learn to place a bit more value on herself, even if it will never be above others. For she now understands that there are those who care far too much to let the blazing life that is Vertin's soul fade away as well.

Her friends, her crew, her family has always welcomed her, yet she has always kept herself distant from them. She did it because she didn’t want to hurt them, and didn't want them to get too involved with her where they would inevitably get hurt by her. All because she fears that she might lose them again, that because of her, she will lose those precious to her once more.

But now, she is willing to knock on the door of that familiar home, to let herself be welcomed in, an invitation that has always been open to her. To meet their happy and warm gazes with her own. To let herself be not the Timekeeper, but just Vertin, a scared yet hopeful girl.

Reconnecting with friends:

Eventually, Vertin will gradually start being open again to her team, Slowly but surely, she’ll start taking the time to interact with them more and properly communicate with them on her own without an emotional crutch or trying too hard to keep up with a facade.

Vertin is willing to be vulnerable to those around her in spite of still harbouring doubts about herself, letting her thoughts and emotions be known to those that she cares about, and who Vertin also gradually starts to accept that they care about her too.

After reuniting with Sonetto again, being surrounded by all the people she has grown so close to in just a short few months, Vertin laughs.

A laugh filled with regret, sadness and underlying pain that she can’t ever forget; but also filled with joy and relief and happiness. That after so many years, Vertin finally feels like she belongs, to feel like she can belong in a family she can call her own again.

She regrets that it took her so many mistakes, so many bad choices and so many lives lost just for her to finally reach this point, that resentment towards herself still clings to her every step of the way.

But Vertin has found hope again.

She has hope that if she continues the path she is now, to continue walking along with her new-found family and to rely on them just as they rely on her, to find the worth in herself that she refused to admit she has for so long; that one day, she can look at herself in the mirror, and smile at the girl she had become.

And that is how Vertin’s character development might look to us. At the very least, if the game goes towards focusing on her selflessness a bit more throughout the story.

For those that read all the way to the end, we hope you enjoyed it. It’s a very self-indulgent analysis that we have been obsessed with for a week, and it took many tiring nights to get to this point. But this was our way of showing our love and appreciation for the character that is Vertin, and so no matter where the story will take her after this point, no matter how absolutely wrong we are in predicting her story(which I have zero doubts we very are wrong lmao), it would be a story that we would eagerly await all the same.

With that, I shall be signing off. I will keep rambling on, until we meet again.