Now, For The Headcanons:

What would Queering the Map look like in the DC Universe

For those of you that don't know, Queering the Map is basically this website where people can add pinpoints on a map with their different queer experiences. It's really cool, I suggest checking it out (unless you hate The Gays, in which case feel free to unfollow me).

Now, for the headcanons:

"Went to a baseball game for our third date. We ended up on the jumbotron. Some people booed us. I think it's 'cause I wore a Gotham jersey and she had a Metropolis hat. A modern-day Romeo and Juliet."

"Drag storytime here, every Thursday from 5:30 to 7"

"sometimes love is kidnapping a nepo baby with your two polyamorous boyfriends"

"Did it with another Arkham inmate, 5/10"

"According to my grandfather, who trained me to wield a sword from the moment I could walk, I'm 'too young' to know who I am."

"Themiscyra more like Lesbos 2 amirite"

"I have a crush on a boy in my class but every time I ask him to hang out he tells me he's busy. I know he doesn't do any after-school clubs and he doesn't need a part-time job because he's rich as hell. I have my conspiracy theories. Let's see how they pan out."

"@ Ollie Queen I screwed your son in your office"

"On this street corner, I got so nervous talking to the cute food truck worker that I puked in a trash can. I am 42 years old."

"Don't forget about us in Kahndaq!"

"Smallville boys sure love them cornfields"

"I put the bi in billionaire"

"me-wow ;)"

"It's Sunday morning. My wife and I slept in after a wild time last night. I woke up first so I surprised her with her favorite breakfast and used the food scraps to make compost cupcakes for her plants. Then she kissed me and showed me a funny video because she knows I love wild dogs, and it makes everything I've put up with worth it. Some folks will see this and still call us the villains. If that's the case, I don't wanna be a hero."

"I know where I'd put my Lantern ring ( ͡ ° ل͜ ͡°)"

"No GCPD at Pride"

"I no longer live in England but I had my fair share of adventures back in the day. We have always been here and we always will be."

"first kiss here, tasted like waffles"

"Hey Lex I can be your sugar baby i mean henchman"

"I can run from Keystone to Bludhaven in five seconds flat but it doesn't matter because he'll never see me the way I see him"

"I transed the fish. Signed, an Atlantean"

"Wanna match butts?"

More Posts from Crispysnewblog and Others

5 months ago

Old and retired og pricesoap but Price falls prey to Alzheimer’s and he is in Soap’s care. Price often forgets who Soap is so he has to point out their wedding bands as proof of them being husbands. Price always stares in disbelief, having a hard time imagining himself brave enough to be married to a man. His younger self used to struggle a lot with sexuality.

When the name John MacTavish doesn’t ring a bell, the Scot hopes that the name Soap might help joggle the old man’s memory. Price huffs. “Soap? What kind of name is Soap anyways?” The answer brings tears to Soap's eyes. Maybe the man before him hasn’t actually changed much.

The daughter they have adopted together visits often and tries to help in any way. But Soap hates to burden her youth by caring for old people.

But it’s all worth it for the small moments of clarity. “I will always remember you… No matter how many times I forget. I love you.” Price says. “The moment I won’t be able to do so, put me down. That’s not me anymore, love.”

As the disease progresses, dementia sets in and the tantrums become more frequent, to the point that it breaks Soap’s spirit. They had a good thing. Thirty happy years after the end of the war together. But there is not much to do now. Price always hated feeling helpless. His doctors approve the use of assisted suicide.

The moment I won’t be able to remember you, put me down. That’s not me anymore, love.

3 years ago

Roy Harper: *recording* so someone told me non-binary people don't exist but I found this in my closet

Jason Todd Currently in Roys Closet: I LIke bread


Tags
3 months ago

What do you think about non-binary Bell (in 1981 no less) just confusing the absolute shit outta these middle aged American guys that have no idea what tf that means. (Park does, but she refuses to explain, she thinks it's funny)

Adler and Park quickly accepted it, Adler still not understanding but it's whatever. Bell can hold a gun, shoot it, and has a body count. They can do whatever they want as far as Adler is concerned.

Woods and Mason? They've been at the table with Bell for almost an hour questioning them. Sims chose to stay out of it and Lazar was only stroking the fire when it seemed Woods was going to walk away finally.

Woods was so close to flipping the table, it's probably what Lazar was wanting. Bell, bless them, was amused by this. They like Woods which is why he's still sitting there. Mason gave up already and was just sitting there, maybe hoping Woods will crack through.

"You a man?"

"No."

"So you're a woman."

"Also no."

"What's in your pants?"

"Rather forward, Mr. Woods, but I wouldn't expect any less from you."

Woods sputtered and Mason put his head down on the table, shaking a bit. Lazar was all but laughing like a hyena, Sims was just hunched over his desk shaking without a sound escaping him. Bell was having a good time.

"Mr. or Miss!?"

"I don't mind either."

Woods stood and stepped away from the table, Lazar stumbling away from him as it seemed he wanted to set his frustration on the loudest person in the room. Bell was smug, looking at Adler who was trying to not poke the fired up Woods with a laugh.

2 years ago
Not An Attack On My American Friends, But Only Stating The Quality

Not an attack on my American friends, but only stating the quality

2 years ago

A brand new hero 12 seconds after stepping over the border of Central City: Time to- The Rogues, materialising out of nowhere: You’re not Barry. Hero: Sorry, what? Captain Cold: Where’s Barry? We want Barry back. Hero: How did you even get here so fast? Golden Glider: We’re chased by the best, we know how to be quick. Hero: Who are you people? Heat Wave: Great, we get to do the Villain Speech. Barry loves the Villain Speech. Captain Cold: Remember that time Barry and I got into a pun-off? That was amazing. He has the best puns. I could listen to him forever. Hero: What the fuck is happening right now? Captain Cold: You swear? What kind of example are you setting for the kids? Barry never swears. Mirror Master: I mean, he said Fiddlesticks that one time. Pied Piper: But he felt really bad about it after. Hero: Look, I just want to do a quick patrol, maybe kick some bad guy ass, then go home okay? Captain Cold: A quick patrol? You mean you’re not going to lecture us on how much good we could be doing for the city instead? Barry would be lecturing us by now. You’re supposed to be telling me that you know I want to be a hero like you and getting misty eyed and choked up and- Golden Glider: Lenny… Captain Cold: Huh? Oh. Right. Yeah, you’re supposed to be trying to reform us not punish us. Barry doesn’t care about kicking ass, kid. Hero: Heat Wave: You’re not going to stop and make sure everyone in the bank we just robbed had dinner before sending them home? Barry would have brought pizza. Hero: Pied Piper: I bet you don’t even make sure your crooks get to a hospital after you beat them up. Captain Cold: We are so disappointed in you. 

Brand new hero 12 seconds after stumbling into the Hall of Justice covered in frost and You Tried Your Best stickers, sobbing: Why are they so mean??

2 years ago

thank you sans and reigen for creating the perfect energy for today to happen

drive with all the photos, and youtube version

1 year ago

Examples of Bruce’s “Dad Strength” as witnessed by various Robins throughout the years:

can and will bodily pick up any new Robin and bail as soon as gunfire starts on patrol

one time Bruce got out, physically ripped off a broken part of the Batmobile, and threw it in the backseat so he and Jason could keep chasing someone in the Narrows

ran home with Nightwing over his shoulder when he got shot

frequently lifts sewer grates/manhole covers like they weigh nothing

does push-ups with Robins on his back for a challenge

held onto the side of a building with just his fingers for ten minutes once when Steph’s grapple line broke and he had to help her back up

pulls hot dishes from the oven without mitts sometimes for Alfred (insists scar tissue on his hands means he can’t feel it, nobody fully believes him)

Damian swears he saw him kick a tree down once during training. A big tree.

Dick frequently catches him unscrewing screws in his prototypes with his bare fingers

Punches through walls????

can drink nothing but straight black coffee for several days before any signs of discomfort (this freaks out everyone but Tim)

4 months ago

Recovery and conditioning routine: Gen Z vs Millennial, 141 edition.

Johnny & Gaz

ice bath and sauna

tracking sleep metric data

active recovery sessions

no caffeine after 12pm

minimise blue light before bed

macro diary, with focus on whole foods and protein

gratitude journal and smart targets

foam rolling those leggies

Simon & Price

a nap and a wank

1 year ago

Wait who is Tims assigned youtuber?????

Well

Wait Who Is Tims Assigned Youtuber?????
Wait Who Is Tims Assigned Youtuber?????
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crispysnewblog - Crispy Nugget
Crispy Nugget

Any/All pronouns, omnisexual, agender

98 posts

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