Working At Devil May Cry Is Like—

My Deerest Darling

Synopsis: When Alastor's rut hits he needs someone he can truly trust to help him out, luckily for him Y/N just arrived at the Hazbin Hotel.

Set around episode 1 of Hazbin Hotel and may contain some spoilers for the series.

Word Count: 5K (5,045)

Trigger Warnings: 18+!!!

Platonic friends who share a close bond and care for each other, tiny pinch of angst at the start, possessive behavior, swearing, a deal is made, pet names (dear, darling), his demon form is here, marking and love bites, vaginal fingering, p in v sex, rough sex, porn with some plot, ambiguous ending I suppose 😜

Authors Note: I know that Alastor is AroAce canonically so I wanted to write this like he's in a stressful situation, one he can't really control, and chooses to experience it with a close friend.

I've never written an Ace character before so I hope I do him at least some justice ☺️.

I've taken the route, after a little bit of research, that over time he could form a sexual attraction if it was the right circumstances and he'd known the person for a very long time but it'd still be something that rarely happens.

Y/N walks down through the streets of Pentagram City frowning as she walks past more fires and explosions than she could count, she'd even had to side step past a bird looking sinner screaming about being doomed come the next Externation Day.

She was making her way to the Hazbin Hotel to see an old friend. She walks up the large wooden doors somewhat hesitant, it's been a long time since she last spoke to Alastor but more information was needed about Pride Ring's next steps given the recent news.

Giving herself a moment to calm the nerves drumming across her veins she takes a moment to smooth out her outfit and tuck any flyaway hairs back into place before giving the door a few sharp knocks.

She waits for a few moments with seemingly no activity inside the large hotel until she hears a gruff voice complain “... Why the fuck do I have to answer the door? Not enough that I'm already the fuckin' bartender…”

Her eyes widen as she instantly recognises the voice, almost laughing as a rather grumpy looking cat reluctantly answers the door “What the fuck do you wa...Y/N?”

Husk's wide yellow eyes stare at her his jaw basically hanging on the floor, the awkwardness of the situation making her rock on the balls of her feet nervously “Hey Husker, long time no see”

Y/N swallows the lump forming in her throat as she notices his body is still somewhat stiff “uhh didn't realise you were back in the Pride Ring”

The woman simply nods at his statement “came back when I heard the announcement ‘bout the angelic fuckers dropping on us faster than usual”

“Right…” he answers guardedly, his eyes looking her up and down, making her own drop to the concrete leading up to the hotel's entrance “is Alastor here?”

Husk clears his throat gesturing for her to come in while stepping aside, she gives him a tight lipped smile entering cautiously.

Her eyes flit around the room as she takes in her surroundings, her soft gaze settling on some portraits of Lucifer and his family. She gets so lost in thought she almost doesn't realise a certain demon is watching her with intrigue.

Static fills the air making her blood run cold as her eyes snap to the radio demon himself, Alastor.

“Well well well, you're certainly the last person I'd have expected to see here, my dear”

Nervously she wrings her hands together, unable to look at him as his red eyes bore into her face “can we talk?”

A wide smile spreads across Alastor's face as he stares at his old friend. His head tilts slightly as he looks her up and down with curiosity, his piercing red eyes glowing ominously as he nods.

"Why of course my dear~ come, let's find a quiet place to talk"

He turns his back on her as he gestures for her to follow him with a simple point of his long finger.

Y/N nods following silently, passing through a few vacant corridors before stopping at a room Alastor finally seems happy with.

He again gestures for her to walk in, letting her go first like the gentleman he is with a large smile on his face as he shuts the door behind them.

Turning to face her, he tilts his head expectantly waiting for her to speak but when nothing but silence fills the air he clears his throat "so to what do we owe this rare pleasure?"

A frown sets deep in across her forehead as she sighs "you needn't be so formal with me Alastor, we've known each other a long time..."

Rolling his eyes he clicks his tongue at her "yes, until you suddenly disappeared"

His eyes narrow as he spits out "how fun that was"

She visibly winches as his words cut at her heart, her head hanging in shame "I know... I'm sorry…”

Alastor's eyebrow raises as she explains herself. His eyes narrow slightly, a look of distrust glittering across his large orbs but it quickly fades as he watches her body language.

She's clearly uncomfortable at having to face him returning from an absence just as long as his own. He steps a bit closer to her, his movements are slow and deliberate as he meets her eyes curiosity getting the better of him.

"Hmm yes well I must ask..."

The corner of his mouth curls up into a predatory smile as his voice lowers with an air of menace in his words. "Where have you been hiding my dear?" He says in a low tone, hand grabbing at his mic.

She goes to speak but then notices his shadows beginning to move around the room, almost touching her legs as they surround her, raising her eyebrow at him she finally gives him the answer he's been looking for.

"Wrath, a friend of mine told me something very interesting. I'd be happy to tell you what they said, you know since we're so close" she smiles almost wickedly.

A hint of laughter escapes his lips at her words before he raises his eyebrows at her with genuine curiosity.

"Please do go on my dear~ don't leave me in such suspense" Alastor leans forwards resting on his mic.

A small chuckle leaves her lips at his rapid mood swing but she concedes nodding "while scavenging for weapons they found a body, a rather holy looking body wouldn't you say?"

She walks close to him, handing over a picture of a headless exterminator.

The Radio Demon stares down at the picture, his eyes widen as his smile broadens. His lips curl into a menacing grin as he slowly nods his head.

"Yes...I would indeed"

His eyes light up with interest as he raises his eyebrow, a curious glint sparkling in his cherry red eyes.

"Tell me my dear, how did the creature meet its gruesome end?”

A deep sigh of disappointment leaves her lips at his question, her arms folding in front of her stomach "ah that I don't know, my dear Alastor"

A wide smile stretches over her lips pulling tightly at her rosy cheeks "though I figure if anyone could find out what happened, it'd be you"

A small chuckle escapes his lips as he considers her words.

"Hmmm..."

He paces around the room, his long legs striding effortlessly with a soft hiss of static sounding with each step.

"Yes. That's quite possible indeed"

He walks over to her stopping just in front of her body and smiles, the glint in his eyes becoming more intense as his voice drops into a lower tone.

"I suppose could do a bit of investigating, for the right price of course~"

His long fingers curl over her hair patting gently as his hand settles on her head.

She turns her head to look up at him humming softly at his words "a deal? What'd you have in mind?"

A smug grin crosses his lips as he raises an eyebrow. In this moment, his presence is intense, his aura of power and danger surrounding her like a heavy blanket of shadows.

"Simple enough~"

He pauses before continuing in the same suave voice, his eyes narrowing as he leans down towards her face.

"I'll get all the information I can on the dead angel and you... will owe me one small favour to be cashed in any time of my choosing”

"Simple enough until I know what it is you want from me" a small pout settles across her lips as she thinks over his proposition and in the end she holds her hand out to him.

The aura in the room drastically changes. Green stitches appear along Alastor's mouth covering his sharp teeth, his eye colour changing to bright green, his pupils shifting to radio dials and his dark antlers growing in size curving around his head.

"Is it done?”

His demonic form disappears as quickly as it appeared. A chuckle escaped his lips as he reached out to gently stroke her hair humming almost softly.

"Good girl~ we have ourselves a deal"

His voice becomes more even as the quiet of the room returns.

"I don't suppose you could do me a favour? work your magic and convince that little princess you're helping to let me stay here?" she chuckles under her breath.

A sly grin spreads across the handsome demon's face as he chuckles softly. His eyes light up with mischief and he taps his mic as his voice softens.

"Why yes I believe I could. Come with me my dear and let's go see Charlie”

She smiles at the taller demon appreciatively as they begin walking to the door.

"Would it be strange for me to say I've missed you and your mysterious ways?" She asks with a small giggle falling from her lips.

A low chuckle escapes the demon as he teases her "how sentimental of you"

"Not at all my dear"

His eyes soften for a very brief moment and he's clearing his throat.

"Please. Follow me”

Charlie had accepted Y/N’s presence quicker than she'd expected but it worked in her favour so she hadn't questioned it much simply looking towards Alastor who shrugged his shoulders with his ever present smile spread across his face.

She worked hard to dodge Husk's probing questions during breakfast, anxiety rising until he'd finally dropped the subject after multiple prompts from Charlie and Vaggie.

Her worries now shifted to Alastor who'd been strangely quiet since they made their deal, his eyes darting around the room rapidly almost as if he was waiting for something.

She had decided to corner him in the afternoon after realising he'd spoken only twice so far all day, it was concerning to say the least.

She steadily ascends the winding stairs leading up to his radio tower, finding him hunched over the console, his back rising and falling rapidly as his breathing looked laboured.

“Alastor?” She asks with a soft tone.

As she speaks, his body jerks up with a sharp intake of breath. He straightens himself, and his breathing becomes more controlled as he turns to face her. Alastor's expression remains neutral but his eyes narrow as he stares at her.

"Yes my dear? What is it?"

His hands clenched into fists at his sides, his long claws digging into his skin as he continued to stare at her, still not quite meeting her eyes.

She stares at him for a moment brows knitting together in a small frown as she watches beads of sweat trail down his cheeks from his forehead "just wanted to check on you, you've been awfully quiet today"

Questioning eyes wander down until they stop at his clenched fists "you seem out of sorts"

He looks down at his hands as his breathing becomes slightly more erratic. His body seems to tense up as he realises she's watching him intently.

"No no I'm fine, probably just... the time of year"

His eyes narrow in annoyance glancing over her shoulder towards the large red door.

She doesn't seem convinced as she slowly moves closer "you sure? Cause you really do seem-"

She teaches her hand out to touch his forehead wanting to check his temperature 'can demons even get sick?' she wonders as his body reacts quickly, reaching out to grab onto her arm stopping her as his hand tightens its grip.

His skin feels hot to the touch, almost burning her skin as he holds her hand firmly, gripping it so tightly it almost hurts.

His breathing grows sharper as his eyes bore into her own, his ears flattening against his head.

"S-sorry Alastor, too close?" She whispers as she tries to pull away, fearing she's made him uncomfortable.

The demon seems to snap back to reality, eyes wide and blinking rapidly before letting go of her hand looking at her with a slightly irritated expression.

He doesn't reply, just shakes his head, pushing past her to grab his mic before storming away back to the hotel.

Y/N stands in the silent radio tower frozen in pure confusion at his actions.

She looks down at her skin wondering if there'd be a burn mark left behind from his touch but of course there wasn't, shaking her head she sighs before leaving the tower herself.

✨ Later That Day ✨

The next time she sees Alastor his behaviour is even more strange. She had been having a few drinks at the bar with Husk and Angel Dust, telling the friendly spider demon all about her early days as a sinner and how she'd managed to slowly befriend the standoffish overlord.

Alastor had entered the large space calm as ever, his eyes finding the trio quickly, red eyes narrowing at Husk as he handed Y/N a new drink, his hand momentarily brushing against her fingers but it's enough.

A loud and low growl rumbles in Alastor's chest as he storms over to the group, startling Y/N so much she jumps dropping the glass.

His long slender fingers wrap around her wrist as he pulls her off the bar stool and into his chest, his left arm winding around her waist in an almost protective manner making her yelp as her face is thrust into his chest.

Red eyes narrow at the two men as his pupils transform into radio dials, large antlers growing as his chest shakes with anger “ĐØ₦'₮ ₮ØɄ₵Ⱨ ⱧɆⱤ” black shadowy tentacles shoot out and grab onto Husk's red bowtie pulling him into the edge of the bar as the radio demons smile widens in demonic glee.

Y/N's hands grip onto Alastor's shirt tugging harshly “Alastor! Alastor STOP” she shouts trying to push him backwards to get his attention.

His body stiffens as the shadows recede dropping Husk onto the floor, his pupils changing back to their regular shape as his gaze shifts down to her body still pressed tightly against his own.

A look of panic crosses the demon's face as he pushes Y/N away from his body. His eyebrows furrow for a moment before he's stalking out of the room, slamming the door as leaves. Y/N's breaths are shallow as her heart thunders in her chest.

“Uh what in the fuck was that?” Angel asks incredulously while helping Husk to his feet, his eyes flicking between her and his friend.

“I-I don't know… I've never…” her mind is racing as she tries to think back to their many years of friendship but she'd never seen him act that way before and it scared her.

Without realising her feet are moving to follow in his footsteps, she needs to find out what was going on.

She searches all around the hotel but doesn't find a single trace of her friend. Giving up and finally trudging back to her bedroom for a much needed rest, she kicks the door open, not even bothering to shut it before flopping face first onto her bed.

Her temples are pulsing wildly with pain at the headache she's given herself trying to figure out Alastor's strange actions, her fingers rub deep circles against her head making her groan until the sound of her door slamming shut makes her jump up so quickly she almost falls off her bed.

The door slams with a rather loud bang showing Alastor walking further into the room, a small smirk playing on his lips as he steps toward her.

"Đīđ Ī ꞩȼⱥɍē ɏꝋᵾ đēⱥɍ? You should really be more careful leaving your door open like that anyone could walk in"

His eyes darted over her body as sweat drops from his fringe to the floor, his cheeks flushed a pretty shade of red matching his hair.

"Alastor? What's going on? You're not acting like yourself" she shifts backwards on the bed until her back hits the headboard, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

Alastor continues to walk towards her with an unsettling grin plastered across his face.

"Ah...You're quite right about that my dear, it's that time of the year for me unfortunately."

In a sudden move, he's leaning over her, placing a hand underneath her chin gripping it tightly.

He is so close to her now she can feel his warm breath on her cheeks.

"That time of year?" She asks confused, her eyes looking up to watch his facial expressions.

Alastor leans in closer resting his forehead against hers as their breathing synchronises.

"Mating season my dear, I'm in rut"

Shock paints across her face as she starts to stutter ‘rut? As in…’

"I-I thought you didn't usually like se-”

His voice is low, breathing laboured as his breath tickles her skin causing her cheeks to heat up at the close contact.

"you're right I don't usually enjoy... physical touch... but my instincts are becoming too difficult to control"

His body almost trembles as his claws grip her bed sheets "you're one of oldest and closest friends my dear if it's going to happen... I want it to be you"

She shakes her head slightly as he rests his nose against her own "don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or make you do something you'll regret"

"I'm slowly losing my mind here dear"

The demon pushes her back as his voice drops to a whisper.

"I've managed to resist as much as possible but it physically hurts"

He raises his hands slowly to brush her fringe away revealing her forehead as he almost nuzzles against the soft skin.

"please..." he pleads as his voice cracks.

Her eyebrows furrow unsure if this is something he actually wants.

"Only if you're sure Alastor, I don't want..." she whispers slowly, lifting her hand to push the soaked hair away from his eyes.

Alastor shakes his head, growing frustrated and desperate.

"I want this. I need this"

His voice trembles with desperation as his body shakes, the heat coming from his body almost burning her own as she attempts to soothe him.

"Be a doll darling and help me…”

"Okay" she whispers, hands trailing down his cheeks to rest on his jaw as she tugs his face down ever so slightly to brush her lips against his in a feather light kiss.

Alastor tries to hold back, tries to be gentle with her but he's feeling so needy his body has a mind of its own, his fingers grasping at her arms pulling her body close to his own

A whine leaves her lips as his body dwarfs her own, pushing her down onto her back. Her hair is splayed out over her pillows as his large body leans over her own.

His breath becomes ragged as his body reacts to their close proximity. His hips rock forward, the growing tent in his pants pressing against her body and causing her cheeks to flush brightly.

"You're body is so soft my dear"

His voice breaks as he trails kisses along her neck, his large sharp teeth nipping at her throat moving down to her collarbone.

Alastor can't help but groan as his heated body touches hers, need drumming through his veins as he rocks his hips into her body showing her how desperate he is for release.

His long fingers have her hands pinned down so he has full control.

His tongue slips out to softly lick the underside of her collarbone, his breath hot against her skin as he moves one hand to grip her own, his claws sinking into her flesh.

His mouth leaves her neck as he trails kisses along the side of her nose, neck and cheeks before finally settling back on her lips, his breathing growing heavy.

Once satisfied he pulls back, tearing off his red blazer jacket throwing it somewhere to the side before starting on his bow tie and shirt letting them land beside his jacket.

With his heated chest exposed Y/N uses the opportunity to let her fingers explore, they trail over his pecs to his sides before travelling upwards to his neck pulling his body back to her own.

Alastor lets out a low groan as his body reacts to her hands, his breath growing deeper as she moves her hands over his body.

His claws bite into the bed sheets causing small rivets to appear in the fabric.

"Dear" He mutters as his voice breaks

"I don't think I can resist much longer…”

Her slender fingers move quickly, lifting her shirt over her head and throwing it off to the side. Next she unclips her bra sighing in relief as cold air hits her nipples.

She gives Alastor a small smirk as she sees his eyes raking over her bare body.

Alastor's pupils contract as she removes her clothing, he takes in every inch of her exposed body as he watches her movements with an intense gaze.

His eyes trace her curves, looking her up and down with a look of approval before he opens his mouth to compliment her, his voice cracking.

"You've got to be one of the most beautiful creatures I've ever seen"

A low possessive growl leaves his throat as he uses his clawed fingers to shred her skirt, throwing the pieces on the floor.

"Mine”

She nods whimpering softly, trailing her hands down her body rubbing over her nipples then moving down to her panties.

She pulls them down and throws them off to the side, spreading her legs for Alastor to see how soaked she is, her small fingers rub small circles against her clit as Alastor's hungry eyes watch every moment.

A growl leaves his chest again as he watches her fingers move over herself spreading the wetness over her folds, his breathing rapidly increasing as she toys with herself.

"So adorable..."

His words leave his lips as low rumbles as he stares at her body, his jaw growing tighter and the muscles in his body tensing as he watches her with such a hungry look.

Alastor moves his hands to her thighs spreading them impossibly wide so he can slide between them and better watch her movements, tongue peaking out to lick over his lips.

Having Alastor's dark eyes watching her makes her heart thud rapidly in her chest, tilting her head back as she enters two fingers into her dripping pussy.

With her head tilted back Alastor can see every mark he's left across her neck making his hands clench down on her thighs possessively.

Alastor's eyes flicker between the marks he's left on her skin and her wet heat.

His fingers are digging into her thighs as he watches her with hunger, Alastor's breath catches in his throat as he watches her movements, his teeth gritting with each thrust of her fingers.

"Need a taste…”

Wrapping his fingers around her wrist he pulls removing her fingers from her body, groaning as he watches her slick dripping from her fingers.

He moves quickly, pulling her fingers forward and into his waiting mouth, his tongue lapping at the digits with a moan as he tastes her juices.

Alastor grunts in approval as his tongue laps at her fingers, his chest heaving as his body reacts to her taste.

"More..." he grumbles greedily before his teeth drag along the soft skin of her hand as his tongue continues to lick away at her juices.

His body is growing more desperate for release, his breath becoming more shaky.

Watching the demon almost devour her fingers sends fresh need throbbing through her body as she whines "need you Alastor"

His lips curl into a cruel smirk as he lets her hand drop to the bed.

"So eager~"

He grins leaning down over her body making sure his growing length is pressed against her bare body, his eyes growing hot as he meets her gaze.

"I'm going to make you scream darling"

His voice is heavy with desire as he starts to lean in for a kiss.

Y/N reciprocates his kiss greedily as her own need grows, her hands drop to his pants tugging them down along with his boxers, finally releasing his length as a long moan leaves his lips.

Her fingers wrap around his dick, moving her hand down his length feeling it throb in her hand.

The demon's eyes roll back in his head as he feels her warm hands wrap around his length, a groan rumbling deep in his throat. He arches his back into her touch, his hips bucking slightly as she begins to stroke him “don't be a tease now dear”

Alastor growls low in his throat, thrusting his hips forward as he feels the tight heat engulf him causing them both to moan loudly as he fills her to the brim.

His fingers curl around her legs wrapping them around his hips as he starts to thrust into her.

Y/N's eyes roll back as Alastor sets an almost bruising pace, her arms looping around his head to keep her steady.

Her breaths come out as little hiccups as Alastor's thrusts push her further up the bed.

The demon's thrusts grow harder and faster, his hips slamming against hers as he takes her with a feral growl. His monocle slips from his eye, clattering to the floor as he loses himself in the primal need to claim and breed.

His hands reach out to grip onto the bed, his claws sinking into the mattress as the pleasure overwhelms his body.

Sharp nails nip into the skin of Alastor's neck as he pounds into her, her head tipping back burying into the pillows as all thoughts fly out of her head.

"A-A... Al..." her soft moans are muffled as his head dips to press needy kisses to her lips.

His growl vibrates throughout his body as he feels her nails dig into his skin, her voice sending shivers down his spine.

He bites down on her lip, his tongue flicking over the wound, licking up the blood he's drawn as hunger claws at his chest.

Alastor's rough and fast pace starts to rock the bed against the wall, every thrust causing the bed to shake. Her moans and whines increase in volume.

His hips slam into hers over and over again, his cock buried deep inside her as he takes what he wants.

“Look at my good girl, taking me so well…”

With a feral growl, Alastor picks up the pace even more, his hips slamming into hers in a primal rhythm. His eyes wild with lust and possession as he takes her, his body trembling as he tries to control his demonic strength.

"QɄłɆ₮ ĐɆ₳Ɽ, your sweet sounds are for my ears Ø₦ⱠɎ”

Alastor's deer-like ears twitching madly as they react to each sound that leaves her throat.

Y/N's so lost in the pleasure the demon is giving her that she doesn't realise the long dark antlers that have started to sprout from his red locks.

Her eyes squeezed shut with her hand slapped over her mouth as she attempted to quieten down her noises.

Y/N's muffled whines pitch in volume as pleasure courses through her veins.

"A-Al... 'm c-close" she whimpers, pulling his body down to hers, pulling him so close his chest is slotted against her own.

Her fingers slip between their bodies to rub tight circles against her swollen clit, her walls clenching down on Alastor's cock as her thighs shake against his bucking hips.

Alastor feels the pleasure building within him, his body tensing as he reaches his climax. His eyes squeezed shut as he thrust harder into her one last time, his hot seed filling her up with each thrust.

Feeling Alastor come undone and throb against her walls sendings her over the edge, her body stiffening as she cums hard with Alastor's cock bullying her sweet spot.

Almost instinctively as he's climaxing Alastor buries his face in the crook of Y/N’s neck, licking a long stripe up the sweaty skin before his long sharp teeth sink into the soft supple skin. He keeps his teeth in place until she's finished cumming on his cock, finally pulling away he licks up the blood that slowly weeps out of the holes. He's smirking proudly while looking at the marks that are scattered across her upper body.

She's panting hard, her fingers trailing up to her neck to feel the marks Alastor has left behind as she's held close to Alastor's body, they stay slotted together until both of their breathing starts to settle down.

As their breathing slows, Alastor opens his eyes to look down at Y/N, a satisfied smirk on his face. He leans in to place a gentle kiss on her forehead before pulling out of her with a soft pop, flopping down on the bed beside her.

Y/N turns to lay on her side, head propped up on her hand as she watches his face.

"Feeling better?" she can't help but giggle as his head turns to look at her.

"Much," he replies with a chuckle, humming as he runs his fingers through his hair, smoothing it down. He glances back at her and smirks "for now”

He chuckles softly, enjoying her wide eyed reaction to his words. His long arms reach out cradling her to his body as he strokes her hair "come rest for now dear, you're going to need it”

She gulps as he smiles at her deviously.

Back in the main seating area of the lobby the group sat together looking thoroughly traumatised at hearing the pairs… activities.

Sir Pentious is covering the ears of his little egg boys, Angel has a knowing smirk on his face watching as Husk shakes his head muttering curses under his breath, Nifty thankfully is nowhere to be seen and Vaggie is holding Charlie close as Charlie's eyes are wide, her mouth dropped open in shock.

The room is eerily quiet, no one daring to break the uncomfortable silence until Charlie clears her throat “at least they're done now, right?…” She looks to Vaggie for moral support as Angel Dust bursts out laughing "who knew tall, dark and creepy could fuck" He's holding his stomach and shaking his head as he walks to the bar.

Banner by @/saradika 🫶🏻

So I recently bought the Revenge of the Sith novel by Matthew Stover and I just decided to flip it open to a random page just to see what the writing was like. Boy was I unprepared for the iconicness I discovered.

The part I read was this of this old hunchback guy in a cloak walking towards clone troopers (this is after the troopers start killing jedi) with a baby in his arms. He starts telling the troopers that it’s a jedi baby and the troopers are like “uuuhhh okay crazy old man with a really ugly deformed baby alert back away” but the old guy keeps insisting that the baby is a jedi so the troopers are like “how do you know? it could just be any random baby” and then the baby says “you can tell by my lightsaber” and kills the troopers. The baby was actually Yoda and the hunchback was Obi Wan.

 All I can imagine now was the conversation that led up to this very dramatic and hilarious ruse, and how exactly they came up with it. I kind of feel like it was the Star Wars equivalent of “Get Help” from Thor: Ragnarok???? Like???

Obi Wan: Hey Yoda, we should do “Jedi Baby.”

Yoda: Doing that, we are not.

Obi Wan: Oh come on, you love it!

Yoda: No.

Obi Wan: It’s great! It works every time!

Yoda: Humiliating, it is.

Obi Wan: Do you have a better plan?

Yoda: No.

Obi Wan: Excellent. We are doing it then.

Yoda: Doing “Jedi Baby” we are not.

……..

Obi Wan, 5 minutes later, cradling Yoda: Look! It’s a Jedi baby!

Hello, author. Would it be possible to request an established relationship Dante or Vergil x feminine male!reader who has emotional dependency and who, for years, was almost like a prostitute/courtesan to demons ? The reader tends to make a lot of sexual advances out of fear of being abandoned and not being desirable enough for their boyfriend. The reader has a devoted, polite, and gentle personality, with a mix of fluff and hurt to comfort if possible. I hope this request doesn't make you uncomfortable, dear author, Have a good day 🌷

DEVIL MAY CRY - DANTE SPARDA | VERGIL SPARDA

The requested scenario for BOTH of the twins :3

WORDCOUNT: Around 1k for each

Authors Note: Visit my Ko-Fi if you want to support me, or if you want to comission a personalised, private story!

Dante x feminine!Male!Reader | established relationship

Dante knew what you were like. He knew the way you acted, what you usually were like around him, the things you'd do and say. In just a few months, he'd learned to read you like a book. Dante also knew your past. You'd opened up about it slowly, timid about his reaction, even though you knew he wouldn't judge you. You couldn't help it, really. Life had prepared you to be expecting everything and everything.

Emotionally dependent reader Former demon prostitute/courtesan reader fear Of abandonment Reader: devoted, polite, gentle Fluff/ Hurt Comfort

When you had told Dante that you'd practically been a prostitute for Demons, he'd been mad. Not at you, never at you, more so at anyone that dared to give you bad experiences in life. Dante had figured that you weren't completely trauma free - you were hanging around him, after all - but he hadn’t expected anything like what you opened up to him about.

Something Dante had started to notice these last few days, though, is how you seemed to always cling to him, how you tried to initiate intimate moments more often, the way you'd look at him every time he wasn't in the mood. He hadn’t minded at first, hell, in all honesty, he liked how active you were, but after a while he noticed your patterns. You initiated intimacy whenever either of you had been upset at the other, or whenever he hadn't been able to hang out with you as much as usually, whenever he was too busy… It became a little suspicious. You'd get upset whenever he'd reject, seemingly more at yourself than at him.

One evening was especially bad. He'd been out for a long mission, drained and hungry, covered in blood. You'd come to him, humming about taking a shower, gingerly wrapping your arms around him, lips pressed against his neck. He sighed, knowing that while he loved when you were like this, he really just wanted to shower and then pass out in bed. He told you as much as he parted with you, pressing a swift kiss against your forehead before disappearing into the bathroom.

He found you later, once he'd gotten dried up and dressed in his sleep clothes - which were only acceptable and without holes because you'd pushed him to get some proper pyjamas instead of sleeping in his boxers and old shirts all the time. The lights in your shared hoke were turned off, but you weren't in bed. Usually, you'd have a few lights or candles on while you snuggled up on the couch. Lights off was only for bedtime with you.

You still sat on the couch, though, sniffling softly to yourself. Dantes whole face fell as he realised you were crying. “...Love, what's wrong..?” He muttered as he stepped towards you, carefully seating himself beside you. You sniffled again, immediately smuggling against him. “... do you not love me…?” You mumble, voice muffled by his shirt as you press your face into his shoulder. Dante almost thinks he didn't hear you right, wrapping his arms around you, pressing you against his chest. “Baby, my dear sweet boy, why would you think that…?” He questions, running his fingers through your hair. “...you don't want me…” You sob, tears staining Dantes shirt. The gears in his head started turning as he pulled you into his lap. “Love, listen to me. I love you. I want you, all the time, but sometimes I'm tired, or I'm not in the mood, not because I don't love you anymore, it just happens, yeah?” He mumbles, pressing a few soft kisses against the top of your head. You're still sniffling, so he tilts your head a little to kiss your forehead too.

“I just… whenever you don't want me I think you don't love me-” You start, new tears dwelling in your eyes as you look up at him. He shushes you, gently brushing your tears away. He slipped his fingers into your hair, gently running his digits through the soft strands, twirling them around the tips carefully.

“I swear to you, I will never stop loving you. You dont even need to think that, yeah? You're so much more than your body, and our relationship is so much more than just physical, you hear me?” He hums, keeping his voice careful and gentle yet the way he looked into your eyes left no room for discussion.

You press your face into his shoulder again, clinging to his shirt as you let the last few tears slip down your cheeks. You knew he meant it, but it was so hard to genuinely believe. “My sweet boy…” Dante sighs, placing yet another kiss against the top of your head, breathing in before pulling away, consoling you with a hand on your back. “I love you. I always will, yeah?” He mumbles against your hair, softly tugging you closer as he feels your hands tangle into his shirt - somehow you still managed to be mindful of not bunching it up too much.

He let you calm down slowly, murmuring soft words and pressing gentle kisses whereever he could reach. The moonlight softly shone into the living room, illuminating the scene in its gentle light. It took you a while to properly calm down, sniffling softly, stray tears staining Dantes shirt. “You wanna go to bed..?” The white haired mumbles, gently carding his fingers through your hair. You nod after a moment, clinging to him. He chuckles lightly, wrapping his arms around you so he could pick you up and carefully carry you to bed. “My clingy boy, hm? You're so sweet… so adorable…” Dante mumbles carefully as he laid you down, smiling as he snuggled against you, wrapping the blankets around you in the way he knew you liked.

“I love you…” you mutter softly, feeling him press a kiss against your forehead. “I love you too… get some sleep, love, mhm?” Dante responds, pressing a kiss against your forehead, letting you drift off to sleep in his arms, feeling like the happiest man in the whole world.

Vergil x feminine!Male!Reader | established relationship

Emotionally dependent reader Former demon prostitute/courtesan reader fear Of abandonment Reader: devoted, polite, gentle Fluff/ Hurt Comfort

Vergil wasn't usually this concerned about you. You were his boyfriend, indeed, but you could take care of yourself, no matter how much trouble you got yourself in with your niceness. So, he never worried about you. Not much, anyway. There was a reason you were his boyfriend, and not anyone else. Behind that facade of pure and utter gentleness was still a strong will. However, lately you had been acting… off. Vergil hadn't noticed at first - he had been a lot busier these last few days, he didn't have the time to indulge in your unimportant desires. Sex wasn't something he needed, nor wanted regularly. Not by now, anyway. He did accept that he had been… Impulsive, before.

What Vergil had noted early into your relationship, was how needy you were. You wanted to be around him most of the time, touch him in one way or another. It was important to you, he knew that. He did let you have your moments, did let you be all over him for an hour or two, but he was a busy man, always had been, and you had to deal with that. It wasn’t about Vergil being heartless, more about him having clear boundaries you just had to accept. He was a lot different from you, after all. He needed his time to himself, to think, to plan, to just rest and relax. You often seemed to dislike his habits, but you never said anything. Never even as much as shoot him a nasty glance, you always stayed calm and soft. Vergil liked that about you, you were pliant. Soft.

This evening was only slightly different. Vergil had come home late, feeling tired and defeated after having learned that yet another of his plans wouldn't work out the way he had strategised. His hair was out of place, blue eyes already zoned out as he perfected his plan. You had made dinner, grinned at him widely as he stepped through the door, doting on him the second he had shrugged off his coat. Soft kisses against his cheeks, hands brushing over his sides - he knew these signs, knew they meant that you wanted him. He let you lead him to the kitchen, ate a few bites of the rather delicious food you made. Your foot nudged his under the table, he scowled slightly. “My dear, I don't think I've got time for.. this behaviour tonight.” He hums nonchalantly, as if telling you about the weather, as if it didn't make your whole world crumble just a little more. You don't answer, simply get up, mutter something about not being hungry anymore and hide away in the bedroom.

He didn't love you. You were so sure of that now. Surely, he was too busy thinking of everything but you. That's why he always stayed in his study. That's why he came home late, and didn't even give you a kiss whenever he stepped through the door. You knew Vergil was… special, but this wasn't being special. This was him blatantly not wanting you. It hurt you, it hurt like hell. You wanted him, wanted to love him, to show him how good you could be, but he wouldn't let you. Wouldn't let you give him what you knew he surely also needed - he was a man, after all. He couldn't be that different from the other men you'd met throughout your life.

You'd learn, though, that Vergil was indeed very different. You'd snuggled into the covers of your shared bed, sniffling softly. You weren't loud, too afraid of accidentally letting the man a few doors away know you were being such a crybaby about this simple situation. Tears stained your pillow - you had half a mind to think about having to turn it to the other side once you'd try to sleep. It didn't come to that, however. What it came to, was Vergil walking in after long hours in his study, late at night. You had frozen up once the door opened, tears still running down your cheeks.

You felt the mattress dip under his weight as he settled into bed beside you, wrapping an arm around you - he was actually cuddling against you. Something he usually never did. Did he… think you were asleep? You felt him place soft kisses against your jaw and the back of your neck, a soft smile on his lips. “My pretty boy…” He mumbles, voice deep from exhaustion. “So damn adorable… All mine…” He continues, snuggling his face into your hair comfortably. Vergil was weirdly clingy, arms wrapped around you tightly as he pressed lazy kisses against the skin he could reach. You don't dare to move, not wanting to ruin this moment, too scared Vergil would act like nothing happened and just pull away.

You basked in the moment for a few minutes, feeling Vergil rest and breathe against you - this has probably been the closest he's ever stayed to you for this long. “...you know I love you, right…?” Vergil suddenly mumbles, pressing a kiss against your cheek. He halts, huffing. “...were you crying?” He scowls slightly. You didn't know what to answer - had he not thought you were asleep? Did he know you had been awake the whole time and still snuggled so close to you? “...sorry…” You mutter silently, wiping the remnants of your tears away in an attempt to hide them. “Why were you crying?” Vergil questions, sitting up a bit. “Just.. nothing important..” you answer, trying to dodge the question - Vergil wouldn't take it, though. “Answer me.” He huffs coldly. “... just… Sometimes it feels like.. you don't want me…” You mumble, voice so silent you almost think he didn't hear you. Vergil doesn't answer for a moment, before he sighs heavily. “... I'm sorry, my dear. I didn't… realise how much I… hurt you. I will be better in the future, I promise you.” He speaks, pressing a kiss against your knuckles. “You will never cry because of me again, I promise it. I'm sorry, love.” He sighs, snuggling back against you. “I think I just… needed some time to get used to… This… but, I really do love you… Even if I dont show it that much…” You sigh in relief, pressing against him, worries lifted - or at least you know they'll be worked on from now.

Lady/Nico doodles! (I finished DMC 5 last week, I loved it)

Doodle with mission 03 spoilers here<3 (No idea how to tag these)

Fic Masterlist!

This is my masterlist for all of my Ninjago fics. Feel free to check them out (and please comment yes I'm that desperate please someone comment on my works-)

Lava-Shipping (Cole/Kai)

--Royals and Thieves-- -Words: 11521 -Chapters: 7/? -Rating: T -Category: Fantasy AU -Warnings: Controlling parents, OOC characters (Kai''s parents) Language -Status: Incomplete, Ongoing --Night Terrors-- -Words: 2780 -Chapters: 1/1 -Rating: T -Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort -Warnings: Heavy angst, Nightmares, Night Terrors, Panic Attacks, Language -Status: Complete --Little Flicker-- -Words: 2388 -Chapters: 3/? -Rating: G -Category: Fluff, Age Regression -Warnings: None :) -Status: Incomplete, On Hiatus --Bet-- -Words: 1155 -Chapters: 1/1 -Rating: M -Category: Comedy -Warnings: Language, Mentions of Sex, Moments leading up to sex, but nothing explicit dw -Status: Complete --Play Something For Me?-- -Words: 1043 -Chapters: 1/1 -Rating: G -Category: Fluff -Warnings: Language, but thats it -Status: Complete --Lava Oneshots because I'm Gay for Cole and Kai-- -Words: 1753 -Chapters: 4/? -Rating: T -Category: Fluff, Oneshot book -Warnings: Language -Status: Incomplete yet abandoned

Glacier-Shipping (Cole/Zane)

--Even The Toughest Rocks Bear Cracks-- -Note: This was a collab with my friend @crab-boi-blog. I wrote for Cole, they wrote for Zane. Love you bestie /p <3 -Words: 4383 -Chapters: 1/1 -Rating: T -Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort -Warnings: Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Homophobic parents, mental breakdowns, self deprecating thoughts, Language -Status: Complete

Techno-Shipping (Zane/Jay)

--Am I...Irritating?-- -Note: This is a prequel to this fic -Words: 1606 -Chapters: 1/1 -Rating: G -Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort -Warnings: Self doubt, self esteem issues, self deprecating thoughts, Language -Status: Complete --Love Like You- Songfic-- -Note: this is a songfic inspired by this song. -Words: 1624 -Chapters: 1/1 -Rating: G -Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort -Warnings: Ice Emperor Zane but would that really count as a warning? idk, Language -Status: Complete

Polyninja (Cole/Kai/Jay/Zane)

--Cole, Ninjago's #1 Heartthrob-- -Words: 1535 -Chapters: 1/1 -Rating: G -Category: Comedy -Warnings: None, some suggestive ish words like "hot" but its overall pretty tame, Language -Status: Complete --Video Diaries of Ninjago's Ninja-- -Words: 512 -Chapters: 1/? -Rating: T -Category: Comedy, Oneshot book -Warnings: Swearing but thats it -Status: Incomplete, Ongoing

--Why Can't Every Morning Be Like This?--

-Words: 1320 -Chapters: 1/1 -Rating: G -Category: Tooth-Rotting Fluff -Warnings: None :) -Status: Complete

Dumbass Shipping (Cole/Kai/Jay)

--No, You are Not Irritating-- -Note: Please read this fic before reading this one. -Words: 2028 -Rating: G -Category: Hurt/Comfort -Warnings: Language -Status: Complete

Canon/Reader

--His Chill Brings Comfort-- -Words: 378 -Rating: G -Category: Zane/Reader -Warnings: None -Status: Complete

Other

--The Cold Still Haunts Me--

-Words: 1461 -Rating: T -Category: ANGST -Warnings: Heavy Angst, Violence, Nightmares, Flashbacks, PTSD Nightmares, Dream Murder -Status: Complete

More is to be added to the masterlist as time goes on. If you have any requests, please drop them in my ask box! (please abide by the rules though!)

Star Wars… meme

RE4 REMAKE → Leon Kennedy’s Tramp Stamp

Devil May Meow: They don't know any maths😔

leon babygirlification

Stickers! Woof. I think I set everything up correctly but please feel free to DM if there are any issues! 

https://www.redbubble.com/people/LeeLeeBeeSW/shop?asc=u&ref=account-nav-dropdown