I Wonder, Does My Friend Actually Think I Have Npd?

I've been feeling like throwing up the last few days, maybe I should. maybe it'll be successful this time.

i don't think you get just how much I need A back. i needy my lover back.. I need him to come back. i need to feel okay again. i need him.

sometimes I just imagine cutting my lip, like dragging the blade across my lower lip. i don't know why, I just do and I'm very very tempted to try it.

the fact that I sit in the auditorium, in the dark, until the bus. it's a perfect place to cut (because I hate and refuse to go into the bathrooms here)

i just gotta hope the cameras (if there's any in here) don't have night vision.

but I think I may start bringing my blades officially now.

i come back after a fucking week and no "what happens "are you okay" or anything from him. fucking bullshit. maybe I should leave again. I'm so tired, upset with everything and everyone. I don't know why I bother with anything.

My ideal body is covered in scars but apparently that’s not an acceptable body goal

found out bf now has a tumblr through my other blog (he followed it)

better hope he never stumbles onto this side and find this account

i don't know what's going on anymore, I'm just gonna blackout until the 12th

vaguely religious thoughts are back, drop all friends when school is done, break up with partners, (try to) get a job, kill self before 2026.