I Have A Mixed Relationship With Studying.

I Have A Mixed Relationship With Studying.

I have a mixed relationship with studying.

On one end, I absolutely adore it; the classical or gentle music I listen to as my pen glides against the page, the controlled chaos that litters my desk and the dim lighting of my lamp.

On the other hand, however, I hate it; the seemingly endless hours I spend studying and yet never learning, the few bits of knowledge I do retain about these subjects I despise barely enough to get me passed with a decent enough grade.

If only I could learn to love the ache in my hands after writing for hours again, the challenge of understanding new knowledge made fun again.

More Posts from Deityofcaffeine-writerstears and Others

Night before christmas - twisted tale

Twas the night before christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were ripping and tied to a chair, Sat poor St. Nicholas, who had abbandoned his cheer.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds; While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And mamma in her 'kerchief and pa in his cap, had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

But out in the sitting room was the eldest son, despaired, he stood before St. Nick with a long, cold stare.

"You have made up a holiday and stolen into my home" "And now you must face the wrath of Steve, Bobby and I, Gerome" With that out sprang two other young people Glaring at St.Nicholas with looks that spelled "evil"

"You dress up in red and bring toys for children" "Yet we know not who you are, or where you have been." "So there shall be no milk and cookies tonight for you, villain." And thus St.Nick regretted his decission; of breaking into this house on the night before Christmas.


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AIDONEUS, OPHELIA AND LIV- MY BELOVEDS!! Truly incredible art and characters that are dear to my heart.

HERES SOME FILLER ART

HERES SOME FILLER ART
HERES SOME FILLER ART
HERES SOME FILLER ART

Enjoy my non Fallout related ocs from a book I’m writing with my friend @deityofcaffeine-writerstears

“Sins of the flesh” Prologue!!

Hello everyone, I’ve been writing a new fic, so I figured I would post the prologue here in case anyone who views my blog would enjoy reading it! I hope you like the prologue, I’ll include the link to the fic here! Ao3 ink: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38974686/chapters/97482780 Wattpad link: https://www.wattpad.com/1222916487-sins-of-the-flesh-prologue --Prologue-- John Winchester was a righteous man; he was well-known throughout his community as an excellent priest and had seen most people every Sunday throughout their entire lives. He was known to be a very loving and selfless man, though many knew that dwindled slightly after the death of his wife. This is also the time he began hunting, leaving his young sons alone for days at a time and only returning for Sunday mass; no other adult knew of his hunting. No one knew what exactly had happened to the priest’s wife, the priest did not discuss it, but everyone knew that there must have been a truly horrifying sight involved; see, John kept his eldest son, Dean, blindfolded with a black satin cloth after the death of his mother. The boy never seemed overly bothered by it, although it was a little difficult to navigate through different places and do different tasks blindly at first. Since he was four, no one within the town had seen the boy without the blindfold on, and he was always wearing clothing that covered his entire body; his father did not take his sons out very often, and thus the only time the town people ever even saw them was at church. Most of the time, if you attempted to speak to Dean, he would not speak; his younger brother, Sam, however, would constantly go on delighting rants about whatever he was currently learning in school. What the people did not know is the purpose of the blindfold; unsurprisingly, neither did Dean, but he followed his father’s orders blindly as he was raised to. His father told him to put on the blindfold, he did. His father told him to stay quiet, he did. His father told him to hold out his arms so he could inflict bruises on them whenever he was out of order… he did. He saw his father as a hero, and it seemed no matter what the ma did to him, Dean always trusted his judgement. John knew the reason for the blindfold, though, and why only his oldest son needed it; it was to keep him holy, keep his soul pure, to stop him from falling into the sinful romance and lust with a man. You see after his wife had died, a being came to him and told him that the earth was a cruel and horrid place; it told him that if he was able to keep his oldest son pure, if he was able to keep him from falling in love with a man as he was fated to, then God would use him as vivisection for all his angels see so that they may aid him with creating more righteous beings for the earth. Delighted, John had not questioned the gold-eyed being, for he believed it was an angel, and thus did everything in his power to bend the fates of his son by engraving the belief that death would feel like waking up from a nightmare, that when he passed, Dean would be used as a model for all righteous beings to come if only he could keep away from lustful desires and the sin of a male lover. John Winchester was a fool; you cannot bend the fates, cannot change the course that life has given you to follow. The man who thinks himself God will undoubtedly be struck down, for he is an impersonator attempting to steal the power of another.


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Playlist #1

My personal favourite playlist; I did not make it, I found it on youtube. https://youtu.be/jhX-2wYCjxI


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Self-introductory

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[Scorpio sun] - [Libra moon] - [Scorpio rising]

[He/him | FTM] - [INTJ] - [Slytherin] - [Autumn] - [Workaholic]

[Writing two books] - [Writes fanfic on the side] - [drinks too much coffee because of it]

My favourite books: 

The blackthorn key series by Kevin Sands

Sherlock Holmes series by Sir.Arthur Conan Doyle

Harry Potter Series (f-ck you J.K.Rowling)

Educated by Tara Westover

The hidden witch by Chandelle LaVaun

Serpent & Dove by Shelby Mahurin

Favourite shows/movies:

The Good Doctor

Sherlock

Criminal Minds

The Big Bang Theory - Young Sheldon

The Imitation game

Supernatural

Ghost Adventures

My blog will mostly be shit posts, information about my characters and books, book recommendations, playlists, and the occasional dark academia mood board. This is a safe space for everyone, unless you disrespect someone’s existence, then you are certainly not welcome.

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Book haul!

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I got a few new books to fuel my curiosity and my need for a more sophisticated vocabulary- and because I was in need of a good few stories.


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Dark academia ambience playlist for melancholic writers...
Today's ambience video is a dark academia playlist to study to. It includes pieces from some of my favourite composers including Bach, Beethoven, Debussy and...

Another playlist for all those searching for some calm music, or something aesthetic to chill, read, write, paint, or be amazing to.


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You're a badass tragic character. | Playlist | Villain/Hero
I know I made a mistake ‼️Hello, just a playlist of songs that I like play in the background while I'm daydreaming.Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this ...

Not my playlist, but it’s great for writing badass scenes. (Also yes, the picture hurts me too ;^;)


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Start of chapter four, Sins of the flesh.

Link to Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/1263570085-sins-of-the-flesh-chapter-4-raised-from-perdition Link to Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38974686/chapters/103642149#workskin -CAUTION: This one may include trigger warnings for those who are sensitive to descriptions of hell and very mild gore. You have been warned- ---- Hell was a horrible place; it was filled with the vilest of human beings, demons and creations you could ever imagine. People who had sold their souls were hung on hooks like meat hung in racks; in hell, a human and a cow were no different. The stink of sulphur, blood, smoke and flesh was constant, but if you were there you would find that the rotten scent was nothing compared to being whipped; to having your flesh torn and ripped repeatedly as blood and sweat rolled down your back. It was always ablaze, fiery hot and bright; never for a second was hell silent, but you would get used to the splitting headaches and the lack of sleep eventually.

Screams of pain and gurgles of pure agony surrounded Dean in hell; pain radiated throughout the man’s body and he didn’t have his blindfold over his eyes to allow him to feign ignorance to the many bloodied and beaten people surrounding him. The man didn’t remember how long he had been in hell, the pain too much for him to think about anything else; he hung on hooks, screamed and bled until he couldn’t take it anymore. He fought as hard as he could, avoided becoming a torturer at all costs and tried to remember what earth was like and who he was.

He was a priest, yet he was in hell; he struggled for forty long years until a saving grace came upon him. Hell lit up with a yellowish-white glow bright enough to blind you with a single glance, demons perished all around and Dean was raised from hell once again as a hand burned his left shoulder.

~♰~♰~♰~

Dean gasped as his eyes flew open, arms flailing and hands desperately grasping at something to hold on to; the first thing he registered was the feeling of cold stone beneath him, as well as beneath his palms when finally he had a grip on something.

Looking up, he saw towering ceilings and archways stretching high above his head; the many depictions of angels painted skywards were new to him, he had never even known that they were there. His left shoulder ached, and he came to realize his left hand lay on a very familiar statue; dozens of rosaries hung around her neck, swaying just slightly in a breeze that carried itself through the open door at the very back of the church. Dean sat up, breathing in the still-stale air; he could smell rain on the breeze and yet the church’s oxygen remained dusty and scented like history, it seemed no one had cleaned it properly in a while. The man only barely registered the pounding in his head as he looked around at the pews and the windows of his church, still a little disorientated by the sudden drag up from hell. Finally understanding that he was safe, Dean hauled himself up onto shaking legs and got a more thorough look at his surroundings...


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Nosebleeds

I’ve decided I shall give people nose bleeds- whether with my fists or my looks. Or both. Depends on the person.


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Mostly 3am shitposts, my lover (coffee), random rants and my own wrtiter's tears

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