Deva845 - Untitled

Delaying my Elisa Lam article

Sorry sorry guys.

I was so long and way too emotional in my prev.post.🙄

I asked Gemini and got an advice to visit a psychologist. It seems that however adult am I and skilled in journalism, I still got a problem with keeping an emotional distance from my scary stories. Our platform is read by 50 000 at least on a daily basis. I have to be responsible, keep a psychological distance and write quality material not some clickbaity bs so it can be overwhelming. And.. these dark subjects can crawl under your bed.

I decided to shake it off for a while and changed my article theme on smthg which is less disturbing.

I legit sang out today the emotional turmoil and my depressive vibes. Guys it turned out well😊

You can, you know. You don't have to stuff meds on doctor's order right away but you can transform dark emotions to creativity instead. Just like all of you here you are so uplifting.

💕💕💕

Gosh I'm sooo Cancer today. But on the other hand I'm a typical Aquarius. /Gemini in Jyotish tho/. Another weird vibe in my personality.🕉 Weird combo. I can go from tthis total cold and distant Aqua vibe to a deeply depressed crybaby mood in a day. So Abel Tesfaye's -cos the Week ended be like-😃 new album is my go to walking tune in these dark moments. He has the same combo I mean Aquarius Cancer.

Guys have you noticed how sensitive Abel's voice is? Ermm...Did I wrote about this in my prev.post? Could be🙂🙃

Ok. Hugz for ya all I already love this community. 🥰🥰🥰

My Cat

Be like...

Not so scary like he seems tho.

I'm drained of my work and it's effing cold in Europe.I work all night long and sleep until 3 effing pm.

Plus...

Random guy wants me in one minute and ghosts me in the other. Men s.times really have no effing idea what they want. If they choose a chick they loose the other 235 million🙄

It makes me tired and even more uncertain than I was. I legit thought that he will be the last person who will play those headgames.you know.But...

My Pluto can smell player men from a mile just sayin'😄

Dreamy multiverse or real-ity?

Long time no see.

People often tell me that I'm changeable although I don't have any mental illness nor DID or schizophrenia.

What if my pre pandemic self transported itself to another simulation and I jump back and forth between the now now and the another now?!🤔🫣

Did you guys actually thought about the possibility of a multiverse and a multiverse version of yours bothering this present that we're constantly living in?

If March 13 2020 or the lockdowns wouldn't happen we would be actually elsewhere living another life looking on a different way working smthg else.Weird.

lifemovie

The Imaginary Trip

Elisa

Now I should write about you.

Since my father got ill and our home turned upside down and I barely use makeup and do housework around him in my constant xxl black hoodie and my worn out skinny jean which is 2 size bigger than my actual size whilst my oily natural extra long bob is hangin down out of it cause if you think I can do my nails or hair or my proper make up... well nah.

So...Elisa. I'm writing about a dissapeared child in my country so I as a very aka appreciated but ridicolously underpaid like each of us in this country in Central Europe - journalist now I legit had a dream about you.

I have this weird effing doomervibed -doomers are the closest to my depressed gen- the oldiemillenials- theories in my head about a paralel universe where you still exist. So you basically came to my dream from that Universe of Forgotten Souls.

I mean it's like a mirror world in my mind.

I legit want to write a Netflix script next year or even now- why wait guys?-right? and what for-instead of having a baby in this scary world. The man who is finslly interested in me us condtantly heditating sround me. Love or even the idea of a functioning rship can be scary for some men. My Aquarius plsnets kick in and I just let him be.

Never shared this Netflix script idea with anyone tho. And the script will be about a paralel universe. Imagine be like Universe of Forgotten Souls in ur Netflix recomenndations... far out guys.

Noticed smthg.

It's weird how the girl or woman or girly woman like every man calls me- on this gift looks like me. Weird. Same reddish chesnut hair same black hoodie same face shape same desire to get the f away from my sick dad I know that it's cruel to write smthg like this but I'm just tired so tired to see him suffering. So I want to leave for a month or just dissapear for a while and to see nice and uplifting things not suffering or sickness🥺 But I love my Dad so much and ny plsce is here no nstter how rough it is. I hsve imsginary trips. I try to see beauty in small things. In your tiny uplifting posts here. A pic. A quote. A cup of good hot choc with cream.My little room full of boho decor and hanging gold lightchains and Nag Champa incenses./ Nag champa is so 2014 I know😄/

So...

You Elisa you also felt this urge to split. To be elsewhere finally to get away like the carefree adrenaline junkie hippies in the seventies who were consumed by a Serpent in Bangkok.

But yet and still I understand the desire despite the danger to leave, to vanish, to be be in constant change and motion.

To go.

To dissapear. To be free.

Men in masks

These men are cowards.

They always choose the conservative setup chick over someone who is creatively imperfect, dreamy and bohemian.

Aries will always be that one who has one night stands with women who are out of his wife range but he will never admit these. He is the baby of the zodiac.Plus😳

He is commanding and rude if you leave a dish unwashed in the dishwasher. A single coffee cup. Fact.Perfect princesses match these men but they will always sidehustle with women who are the exact opposite of their cleancut wifes or girlfriends.

On the other hand Capricorn and Sag is literally the same. Aquarius and Gemini men will on the contrary will choose chaotic and exotic hot mess gals and women but never an introvert and they can be emotionally unavailable without being narcissists. Fact.

I'm having a coffee pause rn btw in my online side hustle job and my critique of the The WeekEnd vinyl is almost done hurrying up to be ready tomorrow😄

I don't feel any kind of fulfillment nor happiness nor sadness these days. I just exist like a lost old boomerdoomer.

I'm tired a bit and worn out and all I want to do is just walk in the woods and have some caffeine in a cozy café. Huge concerts scare me away. Long and dangerous trips scare me even more.

I started to book a trip to Istambul tho through a tour guide company. I'd backpack but exotic trips are better to be done this way it's safer. This one offers a cozy 4 star hotel room and lot of free time... I can pay for it only in march tho hope they won't take my seat.

If they do I'll split up to the mountains.

Random guy on Youtube mocked mountain cabin pics on fb pal what's wrong with you. I actually love them.BoomerbitchBoomervibes haha.

One reason that I left yt. Swallows a lot of money and has changed to some weird trash platform lately.

Old millenials do reels instead. Like I do.Okay it's a joke do as u please.

I took off lot of stuff from my Insta bio last night. It wasn't age appropriate with my 40+.😔This is the first time that I honestly hate my age.

I'm still that crazy indie bitch deep inside in HM hats and boho dresses plus wood bracelets only that 2019 is a distant memory in a faraway galaxy.

Who drinks latte...Literally.

Back to present days.Still stuck on Netflix and usually I'm binging in the evening after my training and yoga vibe, cozed up on my bed with hot chocolate sometimes even 3 Series at once.

If my writing ambition pushes me towards writing a script then I should be updated dialogue wise ermm..

I'm depressed menwise but not workwise.

This weather changing slowly from cold to less cold doesn't add much moodwise tbh.

Bored of Astrology too at the end of the day.

I quess astrology is basically some 2000 year old psychological determination survey bs.

Letting it go slowly. I mean the what's ur sign stuff is a cool thing to discuss on a long effing plane or bus trip but it's kinda shallow or I just burned out of it when I had this astro themed yt ch in 2023. With ads going on in my vids and approx.1200 views that was be like my only ch which was normal on yt but I burnt out of it like a badly lighted match. I seldom watch yt since I have become a Netflix junkie.

Ok. I'm off to work. See you soon guys🩷