Okay Everyone, Help Me Pick An Idea To Fixate On. I Have Too Many Drafts And No Self Control.

You don't understand there's a part of me that wants Alfred Pennyworth to never age but there's another part that's like

As Alfred grows older his body grows tired and everyone notices. And for Bruce that's his surrogate father. For everyone else that's Grandpa. Immediately there's a secret boot camp in the Batcave for everyone to start learning how to better care for themselves. Selina Kyle assisting of course.

There's already disability accommodations for Barbara so they just need to tweak and add some stuff. They've learned from her needs and start researching on how to care for the elderly for Alfred specifically.

On paper he's still a butler but really everyone (who lives or stays for a long time in Wayne manor) makes sure they learn how to do the hardwork for themselves. Most of his job is just to be there for them honestly. They insist on doing things for themselves.

But Alfred is Alfred. So he knows what's going on. And he's so deeply proud of them. He doesn't let him do anything he insists he can or wants do himself. He's still his own person after all, and they gradually learn his boundaries and patterns.

Bruce keeps paying him but not in a way you'd pay a butler usually. More in a way where you'd send money to your retired parents.

Do you see my vision?

Dick: Oh, Jason and Tim are getting along so good lately. I am happy that, well, things didn't go awry after The Incident Jason, popping out behind Dick: What incident? Dick: Uh-- Bruce: Well-- Jason: What? What are we all talking about? Tim, appearing next to him: What is happening? Jason: They mentioned some Incident between us, I am trying to find which one Bruce, awkwardly: The Titan Tower one? Tim: Like, when Jason hacked all speakers here a week ago, and started streaming his Spotify playlist? I mean, it was kind of fun, why would I be mad at him about it? Jason: Wait, maybe they mean that one time, a few months ago, when we fought about who is the Player One and Two, when trying to play a game on the console? Tim: Worse things happened, though Dick, flabbergasted: ...We... we meant that one time. With slit throat, and stuff. You know. Jason and Tim: ... Tim: That snoozefest? Lol Jason: Jesus, that is the last thing we would think of, fr Tim: Jason fought like a pussy, anyway Jason: Oh, and you were better??? Dick and Bruce: ...What is wrong with you two?

my dream as a fanfic writer is for one day, one of my fics to be someones comfort fic. like the fic that they reread when they don't feel good and want to be happy. i want my words to comfort someone one day

One of my favorite videos that I’ve found on TikTok :):)

Batman: The Long Halloween: The Last Halloween #7 - "Discovery" (2025)

written by Jeph Loeb art by Dave Johnson & Dave Stewart

Today’s the day!!

Tumblr usernames are so funny, "the ghost of jason todd started following you" okay well can he stop

Good reminders for fight scenes

Things about fighting I always wish made it into Batfamily fics, in no specific order:

The weird way people flip up their tongues to protect their teeth before a fight (if they’re not wearing a mask/mouthpiece)

Exhaling right when you’re about to be hit during a fight so it reduces pain/impact and your body doesn’t tense up

People getting yanked around by ponytails/longer hair (and how much that fucking HURTS)

The fact that you can’t really prepare to get the wind knocked out of you, it just happens and it sucks no matter how well trained you are

Feeling vasodilation start before a fight begins because of the adrenaline surge and increased heart rate

The Batkids taking cues from Cass and targeting an opponent’s weaknesses during a fight (limps, old injuries or scars, preference for right handed weapons, etc)

Night vision/low light vision - the domino masks automatically adjust their vision so they don’t need to wait between bright lights and darkness, but others do

At a certain point you really can’t run anymore - maybe Bruce-as-Batman can, but a teen will tap out from a chase a lot sooner

Robins with robins with robins or something like that

The joke that the bats see their contingency plans as a form of love is super fucking funny, don't get me wrong but honestly they probably do see it as that cause they just forget to say the second part out loud.

"after I've taken you down, obviously I'd find whatever made you like this and then find the cure."

They come from gotham where mind altering substances are basically everywhere. One of the most profound ways a gothamite could say 'i care about you' is admitting to having a plan to disarm/capture you in the case you go off the deep end, so that they could then get you a cure.

Unfortunately for the bats, no one else thinks like that cause what the actual fucks guys