the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” is actually not the full phrase it actually is “curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back” so don’t let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu
reblog this if you believe trans men are real men like this if you dont
why does anyone in Gotham even bother doing crime like you KNOW the second you leave the bank with the money you just stole Bruce Wayne is gonna be chilling on a bench on the other side of the street in his bat fursuit like “hey bitch u better not be breaking the law”
Reckless Rescuer
I literally just came up with this idea at midnight last night when I was just starting to go into fever dream mode so... This will be interesting. You asked to be tagged so here you go @justconfusedperiod!
Imagine that Marinette never became Ladybug.
Master Fu chose actual adults to go save Paris while Sabine and Tom gave Marinette combat training.
Despite not being a hero Marinette was still caught up in a lot of akuma attacks (Because Hawkmoth is a bitter ass) so she learned how to use everything and anything to her advantage.
Even though she's crafty Marinette still dies in akuma attacks and gets revived by the Miraculous Cure at the end of the day.
As sad as it is, she becomes used to dying.
That doesn't mean that she TRIES to get hurt during attacks, it just means that she expects her life to end one day because of an akuma or something and for her to not come back, so dying isn't a fear for her anymore.
She also builds a tolerance for pain during attacks where she doesn't die, but still gets very injured.
It's amazing how trauma can practically destroy someone's life while others are just so desensitized that it doesn't affect them anymore.
One day the Dupain-Chengs move to Gotham to both expand their business, and to get away from a certain magic fueled fashion disaster.
I mean, seriously.
You're supposed to be a designer but here you are walking around looking like a cardboard candy cane beige toothpick of a man.
Don't get me started on what the heck happened with Hawkmoth's costume.
What is that?
Are you wearing a silver condom on your head or what??
Anyways, Marinette attends Damian's school and they bond over being the only one's not overly worried about danger in certain situations.
At one point Damian thought that she might have been a hero or something but threw that thought away when he witnessed her somehow fall UP a staircase. (I've actually done this before. Surprisingly it's pretty fun.)
All was fine and dandy until one afternoon when they were walking to Neti's place after school to work on a project.
They were walking through a less populated part of the city and were passing a shoe store when two thugs held them at a gunpoint demanding for their cash.
The youngest Wayne was fully prepared to attack the men when Marinette started scolding them for being rude?
Marinette: Hey! You can't just do that! Do you know how rude it is to interrupt someone's conversation?! Apologize right and leave us alone right now OR ELSE.
The two men just looked at her for a moment before doubling over and bursting out in laughter.
After all, what can this tiny school girl do to hurt them?
The first guy calmed down and was about to threaten them again when all of a sudden a pink flat was thrown at his face.
Because of he was unprepared and because of the force behind the flying shoe, he was knocked over and fell to the floor with a thud.
The second guys turned to look at the girl who just threw her shoe at his partner when he was suddenly wacked in the face as well.
So there they were.
Two teenagers, one with no shoes on, in front of a show store with two thugs at their feet.
Truly a sight to behold.
Marinette turns to Damian and asks him for his shoes.
When he doesn't respond (he's in shock) Marinette just shrugs, turns around, and SMASHES HER ARM THROUGH THE GLASS WINDOW OF THE SHOE STORE TO GRAB A CROC AND CHUCK IT AT THE FIRST GUY AGAIN BECAUSE HE WAS GETTING UP.
She then turns to the second dude who was on his knees and says in a dark tone, "You better go and leave us alone before I get my hands on a pair of iceskates. Got it?"
He nods his head and scrambles to run away from the short girl with pigtails that just single handedly smashed her arm through glass and was somehow not wincing in pain from her many bleeding cuts and she threw shoes at them.
His partner frantically got to his feet and followed him.
After making sure that the two would-be-muggers are far away Mari turns to Damian and waves her still bleeding hand in front of his face.
"Heelllooooo? Anybody home?"
She then shakes his shoulders a bit.
Damian, now no longer in shock, starts freaking out about her injuries.
"oh...my...gosh....oh my gosh... oH MY GOSH YOU'RE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE!! OHMYGOSH THAT WAS SO RECKLESS OF YOU, YOU COULD HAVE DIED AND OH NO YOU JUST STRAIGHT UP BROKE A GLASS WINDOW WITH YOUR BARE HANDS!! YOU FUCKING IDIOT YOU'RE HURT! WE NEED TO GETYOUFIRSTAIDOHMYGOSH!!!"
She tries to get him to calm down but that honestly makes him freak out even more.
"HOW ARE YOU NOT REACTING TO THE PAIN OF CUTTING YOUR ARM WITH MULTIPLE PIECES OF GLASS?!? YOU FREAKING THREW SHOES AT THEM! SHOES! WHAT IF YOU FREAKING DIED FROM THAT?!?"
"Well that would make it the 2615th time."
"...."
"....."
"Excuse me but wHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT WOULD'VE BEEN THE 2615TH TIME YOU DIED?!??!??"
Marinette was trying to get him to breathe since he was almost on the verge of a panic attack when the owner of the shoe store came out with a first aid kit.
The elderly woman proceeded to patch up Marinette's arm while thanking her for scaring away the muggers.
"Those two just keep scaring the customers away so I cannot thank you dearie enough!"
"Oh, it was no problem ma'am. They really needed to learn some manners anyways!"
"They really are so rude aren't they. And there we go! Your arm is all bandaged up. I would be careful with it if I were you."
She old lady then turns to Damian who has calmed down a bit now that Marinette's arm is bandaged.
"You've got quite a wild girlfriend here. Be sure to watch out for her safety or else you're gonna lose her."
That causes the two teens faces to burn red.
"Oh no you've got it wrong. She's not my girlfriend although I do agree that I should start looking out far her health more." He turns to Marinette as he says the last bit.
She just replies with a sheepish smile and a shrug.
"She's definitely going to give me gray hairs early."
The store owner gave Marinette and Damian a knowing look before sending the two on their way.
On the walk to Marinette's house Damian kept scolding her for her brash decisions and worrying over her arm at the same time.
At one point Damian asked her if she could actually feel the pain from her cuts or not and she just replied with "I got injured a lot when I lived in Paris so I have a high pain tolerance. This isn't even the worst wound I've ever gotten."
Needless to say, that did not reassure Damian at all.
When they did reach their destination they ended up deciding to finish the project on another day to let Marinette's arm heal a bit.
He calls Alfred to pick him up and when faced with the butler's questioning stare he just replies with "Too much excitement for today."
Before the limo drove off Marinette ran outside to the car and handed Damian a bag full of pastries.
"Consider this an apology for making you freak out so much."
He nodded and took the bag but still told her "You're an idiot you know right?"
"Haha. Or so I've been told." She shrugs. "See you tomorrow in class if you're not too traumatized!"
"Tt. We live in Gotham. It's gonna take more than that to truly scar me. Although I have to say, that's the closest someone's gotten in a long time. Don't do it again."
"No promises!" Marinette yells as the limo drives off.
That night Damian got a nightmare filled with shoes.
Marinette is now known and feared throughout the more amateur criminal community.
True to her word, Marinette tried to reduce the amount of risky choices that she took.
I mean, there was that incident with the llamas, trumpets, and skateboards but we don't talk about that.
Her safety streak ended when Damian was kidnapped.
And by the Joker no less.
Ya, no.
She's not just gonna stand by while her friend litteraly gets kidnapped by a clown man thing when she could do something about it.
The Joker called the Waynes through a video chat and threatens the dump Damian into a pool filled with unidentified and possibly contaminated water until they give him half a million dollars.
And because it's a two way video chat and all of the Waynes (except Damian) are there they can't 'call the batfam' to save him.
Because they were all so busy panicking and Joker was busy laughing, no one but Damian noticed a dark silhouette sneaking around in the shadows.
The moment he saw them he immediately knew who it was.
'Oh no. ThaT'S MY IDIOT!!'
Marinette noticed Damian's panicked stare on her and just, gave him a thumbs up? Before going back into the darkness.
'Oh no oh no ohnoohnononono what's she doing?!' He thought to himself as he heard quiet shuffling in the shadows.
Going back to the screen, Bruce was about to send the money when all of a sudden a bright light was turned on from behind the Joker to the left.
And they weren't expecting what they saw.
There under the light was someone in a Barney the Dinosaur costume sitting in a rainbow bumper car with a radio and a bag filled with something strapped in the passenger side.
TrULy RaDiAnT.
The purple dino turned on the radio, (which was playing the Barney theme song) made eye contact with the clown, and promptly said "Beep beep bitch." in a robotic voice (there was a voice changer in the costume) before driving full speed at him.
At first the Joker tried to run away from the vehicle but for some reason the bumper car was extremely fast and RAN HIM OVER before turning around,
AND FUCKING DOING IT AGAIN!!
Double oof.
They did this around 12 times before the Joker managed to push up from under the bumper car at the perfect time.
Marinette did a backflip (dramatics are guaranteed) as she jumped out of the rainbow ride while simultaneously throwing the radio at the Joker at full force.
The Joker, not expecting that, was thrown against the base of a wall.
He got up just in time to see his attacker pull out a shoe from the bag and chuck it at his nuts.
*cue everyone either laughing at his pain or wincing in sympathy*
The Barney pulls out a sandal from the bag and throws it at his face and uses a black stiletto to pin the clown's arm tO THE FRIGGING WALL when he reaches to touch where the flip flop hit him.
(Is there a difference between sandals and flip flops?)
She then uses another stiletto (a red one this time) to pin his other arm and pulls out YET ANOTHER SHOE (a rainboot) to hit his face.
...again....
This time he gets knocked out though so there's that.
...
....
.....
The power of FOOTWEAR!!
The purple and green dinosaur goes to untie Damian while his family just watch through the screen with their jaws on the floor, still processing what the actual heck just happened.
They get snapped out of their shock when the youngest Wayne launches himself into the Barney's arms and starts rambling about how worried he was and did the store owner give you all those shoes and why the heck did you follow me here.
They don't know what they were expecting the person under the Barney costume to look like but they definitely weren't expecting a young girl with pigtails wearing stilts to come out.
Apparently she needed them to fit into the suit.
Damian: How did you even know I was in trouble?
Marinette: I sorta have a six sense for this kind of stuff. It's disappointing that I didn't get to use all of my amo though :(
Damian: Wait. You brought MORE shoes?
Marinette: Yep! And a couple other things as well. Like this trumpet case, and this bowling ball, and this duck themed alarm clock (I have one lol), and oh! Wait a moment would ya?
*walks over to the pool and dumps around 30 bath bombs in*
Marinette: There! Now this place will smell super nice!
Damian: Did you just dump a ton of bath bombs into a pool of unidentified liquid?
Marinette: Yep!
Damian: Let me rephrase that. Did you just dump a ton of bath bombs into a pool of possibly chemically contaminated water which could possibly have a bad reaction to the bath bombs which could possibly explode or just generally be the death of us?
Marinette: ........
Damian: ........
Marinette: ......
Damian: ........
Marinette: ....well it wouldn't be the FIRST time I-
Damian close to tears: yEs I KnOw PLeaSe StOp ReMinDiNg mE.
Ya so this was just a random idea I had and that I will probably not be adding to but y'all reading this are more than welcome to! If you do continue or make your own little spins on this please tag me! I would love to read them :D
A Statistics teacher in Gotham makes a graph comparing times when Bruce Wayne goes on long vacations with times Batman gets beaten up really badly by villains to illustrate to his class how correlation does not equal causation.
<Prevoius Masterpost Next>
Happy Holidays! Here’s a little present for you guys!
Selina
• Selina heard about a purrfect opportunity
• The Louvre has a new ancient Egypt exhibit focused on cats
• Supposedly one of the pieces was worth 5 million alone!
• She got in without a problem only to discover another cat was already there
• oh my god he was so freaking adorable with his little cat ears and tail!
• Was he a meta? Maybe, but he definitely had powers
• But the poor thing is just there
• Sleeping
• he should be with his family!
• So forget the loot she's stealing something way more valuable
• A son!
• And she did she stole him
• She did of digging and apparently her little kitten is a hero
• A hero who uses cat puns!!! Just like her!
• And he is skilled
• but he can be better!
Adrien
•When Adrien wakes up he's confused
• He fell asleep at the museum where is he?
• did he get arrested? Or should he say Agrested
• Then Selina comes in and introduces herself and he starts fangirling
• After all where do you think he got the idea of cat puns from?
• Cue Ladybug bursting in
• She's screaming about who dares to kidnap her sunshine kitty
• And then she sees Selina and just stares at her before fangirling about her fashion sense
• Apparently Selina's like the only villain, vigilante, or rouge in Gotham with any fashion sense
• And then LB ask Cat freaking Woman if she would like to adopt them
• Adrien is done
• Selina would make a good miraculous holder maybe the tiger?
Part 2
As always feel free to use all ideas just make sure to give me the link if you write something based on this! I take request!
Sleep: Adrien is Oblivious to Marinette’s Feelings.
Woke: Adrien is suppressing those feelings due to his feelings for Ladybug.
Enlightened: Adrien is constantly figuring out Ladybug & Marinette are the same but Bunnix keeps interfering, resulting in an “Oblivious” Adrien.
this is sOoo random but i wanna know what would happen if number five meets nico di angelo since they have plenty of things in common
they’d be like “so HOW OLD are you???”
nico: “what, you’re like, 13,”
five: “boy, i’m 58 years old. besides, you’re like 14, so shut the fuck up.”
nico: “??? i’m fucking 84 years old please DO NOT talk to your elder like that.”
then they discover that they have a thing in common: both can travel to anywhere they like in a blink of an eye
five: “shadow travel?? i have no idea how does that work but the shit looks dope.”
nico: “dope?? DOPE?? my ass. it’s SO tiring and not as cool as you, though. you can time travel to the future.”
five: “yeah, but foreseen the future is shit.”
father issues
five: “i went missing for 17 years and my father hung a picture of me. i think that’s cute but however, he’s still a jerk.”
nico: “my father… oh. he prepared a place for me in his palace in underworld in case i didn’t make it out alive in the war. that’s sweet, but did he just expect me to die??”
another thing that they have in common: they worked for the wrong people?? idk, kind of
five: “so i worked for this lady named the handler. she sucks.”
nico: “oh worm?? i worked for king minos. he’s an ass, by the way.”
and talking some random things
five: “i was all alone in the future. i have no one. luckily dolores was there. well- she’s a mannequin, and i love her.”
nico:
nico: “im gay.”
additional:
klaus: “OH LOOK!! our little munchkin pumpkin gremlin number five is making friends!!!”
hey there LGBTQ kids who are also Christian/Jewish! If you feel like you’re disobeying God, questioning your faith, or feel wrong and dirty for loving who you love, there’s this fantastic site I found today called hoperemains that accurately and thoroughly combs through scripture and its (many) mistranslations, validates your orientation, and basically let’s you know that you’re not pissing off God. It’s insanely thorough and after reading through every page on the entire site it’s super helpful. Go check it out!
I remember first learning that you can cry from any emotion, that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. so if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. Everything made sense after learning that. That sudden stability of your emotions after crying. How crying is often accompanied by the inability to feel any other emotion in that precise moment. And it is especially beautiful knowing that it is even possible to experience so much beauty or love or happiness that your body literally can’t hold on to all of it. So what I’ve learned is that crying signifies that you are feeling as much as humanely possible and that is living to the fullest extent. So keep feeling and cry often and as much as needed
my personal curse is the knowledge that I function best with rigid structure and strict routine but am almost totally incapable of independently establishing or maintaining that structure and routine