I'd Say Fuck Him, But That's Probably What He Wants.

GIVE ME SQUISHY CLARK. GIVE ME A SUPERMAN WHO WOULD GIVE AMAZING HUGS.

If I ruled the world and/or was in charge of drawing a DC comic this is what they’d look like probably

Crack my fucking knuckles and break down the door to Hell bitch. What're they gonna do, kill me?

After an argument with the Powers That Be, you are forcibly removed from the afterlife. You are forbidden to enter Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, etc. What do you do?

AND MOST OF THEM ARE GODDAMN SIDE SHIPS

Do I feel a fanfiction coming on?

She loves girls

REBLOG THIS HERO

Guys who think periods are nbd are my favorite guys.

Also:

what the hell is going on in this country?!

Jason deserves so much better. Bruce is a bitch for the way he treated him.

Rant Time!

Everyone who knows Jason Todd has been talking about Red Hood and The Outlaws #25, and I actually cried a little. I’ve realized over the past couple days that people think Jason is the ‘bad boy’, the ‘rebel’, the ‘black sheep’. Look at it from his point of view. 

Jason Peter Todd boosted cars only to feed him and his mom, the boy who ENJOYED a decent education and was a good student. The boy died trying to save his birth mother who had only a few hours before betrayed him so she could continue her illegal activities. He suffered the many blows of the crowbar. He suffered the initial blast of the bomb, shielding his biological mother. He suffered the rubble coming down. He died under the rubble, only able to breathe in smoke. He died apologizing to Bruce for not following orders, that he wasn’t a better soldier or a better son. He awakened in his grave six months later, in a casket, six feet under. He managed to somehow crawl out. He managed to limp to a highway STILL SUSTAINING THE INJURIES THE DAY HE DIED. After the Lazarus Pit, people think he went insane. He didn’t. It restored his brain-damaged mind. He missed Bruce, Alfred, and even Dick. They were all he had left. He was a mad when he found out that Bruce took on Tim, but it was nothing compared to when he found out that Bruce hadn’t killed the Joker. After that monster crippled Barbara and murdered him. Jason deserved better. He deserved so much better, and he wanted Bruce to know it. He did everything in Under the Red Hood because he was a scared little boy that was acting out in anger and fear. A boy aching for love, attention, and righteous vengeance. “I’m not talking about Scarecrow, or Penguin* or Dent** I’m talking about him, just him. And because, he took me away from you.”  (*Penguin had Willis Todd murdered in Rebirth) (**Dent was believed to have put a hit on Willis Todd Post-Crisis)

Jason wants his fucking family back. He actually has a good relationship with Tim. They have breakfast in public and share inside jokes, they’re brothers! Damian views Jason just as much as a brother as Dick because of his training with the League of Assassins after he was revived, and how Talia cared for him. He loves Talia too. He’s kind of seen Dick as a brother for a long time, and they can count on each other, and throughout Rebirth we see that. 

Bruce is way too hard on Jason. Damian was killing people for a long time, and Bruce just put him in time-out, but when Jason kills? Oh, boy! Gotham is on lockdown, I have to beat my son’s ass and then BANISH HIM WITH MY GOD COMPLEX from Gotham, his home. Jason isn’t frivolous with killing people, mind you. He kills rapists, murderers, wifebeaters, pedophiles, and assholes who deal drugs to children. He’s not insane. He knows what he’s doing. He knows that some of them have families, but they’ve made their choices. Jason Peter Todd isn’t a man that takes a life without knowing who that person was. He knows who, and he knows why. He’s not a villain. He’s a young man who likes to sit in the windowsill of the Wayne Manor library, reading a book on a rainy day. He’s a young man who gives back to his community. He’s a young man who watched his family spend Christmases without him, not because he wasn’t invited, but because he stopped himself. He wasn’t sure how he would be received. This man who pushes everyone away because he’s been hurt. Do you know who hurt Jason most? Who it usually is? I’ll give you a few guesses:

Bruce Thomas Anthony Wayne

The goddamn Batman

Matches Malone

Wayne Enterprises CEO

Gotham’s Most Eligible Bachelor

The man who took in a boy who didn’t have a home, a father, or any virtues of his own, and gave him all of those things, mourned the death of that child, but somehow didn’t welcome that boy back to HIS FUCKING HOME when he was miraculously resurrected like out of the Bible. 

There are many fathers who have lost sons. No parent should have to mourn the death of their child, and Jason meant so much to Bruce, so why when Jason was back, Bruce saw him as an adversary? Jason needed Bruce, and Bruce dropped the ball. Probably one of the few balls he really needed to catch in his life. I don’t know how Alfred doesn’t slap Bruce and make him call Jason because this is something Bruce, a grown-ass man, a father, has to do himself.

I glance up at the kids screaming and crying as the aliens pass them over. Yes, you spent hours on their makeup. Yes, you did your hair like a goddess. But, they don't seem to like that. I shake my head. I didn't dress up. I’m not getting picked. Not with my ugly ass face. I've come to terms with it. So I might as well finish this series before I die. I'm on the last book anyways.

Turning back to my novel, I sigh. Then, I hear Tristan’s voice ring out. ”Why the hell won't you take me?” He yells. ”Who could resist this?” I don't need to look up to know he’s pointing to his dick. Calmly, I call, ”Resist what Tristan? There’s nothing down there.”

There’s a sharp burst of noise from the aliens, but I ignore it. If I did now, It'll be better than dying on an exploding Earth. Maybe it'll be painful if they do it now.

”Oh, and how do you know that?” He yells back. ”Your mom told me last night, ” I reply. There's another outburst of noise from the aliens. Sighing, I bookmark my page and look up to see Tristan approach. ”The hell did you say?” He hisses.

I roll my eyes. ”Your mom told me last night. And your girlfriend confirmed.”

There's another loud noise, and suddenly, I feel a tentacle wrap around my waist. With a sharp tug, I'm brought into the midst of the aliens and set down in the middle.

Glancing around, I take in their faces. It's actually not that bad up close. The Cthulhu like faces aren't half bad. Sighing, I open my book and return to my page. As I'm slung over the shoulder of one of the aliens and brought onto the ship, I give a loud yell of, ”OH COME THE FUCK ON ROWLING NOT FRED TOO.”

Aliens are threatening to destroy Earth, but first they want to take 500 of the finest human specimens back to their home planet. People rush to beauty parlors and line up for botox surgery. Everyone hopes that they are beautiful enough to be selected. However, when the aliens finally come to choose, it becomes clear that they have a very different idea of beauty

yeah uh... don't do this :)