sorry that its been a week since I’ve replied to your message. I was held captive by the 20 something urge to do both everything and nothing in life.
˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖
wanna come over and not exist together
can i get a “oh goddammit” for my fellow manic people right now?
I have some vast mass of immovable darkness within my soul.
8 years old
I hate my mom, i carved in a candle
When she found it, I burst into shambles
8 years old I don't know why
I hate you mom I hope you cry
A direct reflection of how you love me
8 years old god please don't touch me
I hate my mom idk why
I hate my mom written in my journal
By the time she found it, it was internal
I hate my mom in my private thoughts
I would argue with her every chance I got
Take this shot bc I hate my mom
Take this drug avoid the atom bomb
People please the strangers in your living room
2015 was always doomed
Fill the monsters in your head
With lies your mother fed
Empty strangers in your bed
You can't remember what was said
There is one night I'll never forget
The night I wrote my best piece yet
It's gone now, gone forever
Dreamland has seen better weather
There are pins in time
Be sure to tell yourself as you're passing by
If you listen closely you'll notice
Those pins are valuable moments
2016 was a hard year for me
I found out who I wanted to be
I finally had the ability
Of leaning into the sunken tree
I wasn't okay
& most people knew
I was no longer hiding in plain view
You hated that I finally was being seen
This was never truly about me
You always said I sang too loud
That I was always way to proud
I hated you mom, from an early age
The lies you'd say, created your cage
This is single handly all your fault
You're not the only one with access to the vault
You can claim these absurdities about my character
I was a child trying to survive, it was merely vascular
I hate you mom I hope you hear
I have never been more sincere
You have had fucking 30 years
I have my own demons, but yours are much louder
I hope you feel lonely you coward
You will never face the things you've done
You will continue to run
You have a mirror on your back, but my reflection is solid
There's blood everywhere, you should have blotted
It's always our fault & never yours
Set fire to all of the doors
Now there aren't many doors that lead back to you
the few that are left are fire proof
They will be destroyed if you try
To seep your way in again
Beg and pry
I have felt so empty most of my life
When I started to shine you grabbed your knife
You cut my throat so I couldn't sing
You told me I was embarrassing
You did however forget one thing
I am a writer I have always been
Energy work has been my friend
Carving your name into candles to burn
Protected me before I learned
I hate you mom, I carved into a candle
If you find this I hope you're in shambles
30 years old I now know why
I hate you mom, I hope you cry