One Of The Most Important Things I Have Learned Today..

a loving relationship between a guy who says “wowza!” and a guy who says “hm. intriguing.”

"oh please everyone has gay thoughts sometimes" so what i'm hearing is that heteronormativity is so ingrained that a significant percentage of the population regularly experiences bisexual attraction? but dismisses it as something that all straight people experience? this is so concerning are you guys okay

may i share with you the best video on the internet

this post is an experiment, I am curious about how far you will get into the post.

to start, I challenge you to read the orange text below, and not read any further:

the challenge is to only read this far into the post. if you are stopping here, leave a comment about your favorite carbohydrate.

ok, you have decided to continue reading. hell yeah. no shame in that at all. this test is not meant to make you feel bad, in fact, you should be happy whenever you want forever.

if you made it here leave a comment of your favorite fictional universe, you are officially a Tier 2 Post Reader.

ok, the next part of this post is behind a barrier, there's a keep reading button. if you made it this far, tell me your favorite reptile in the comments. you are more than welcome to stop here, only continue if you would like to.

hiiiii :)

ok you're in the big leagues now. this is the DLC of the post. if you made it here, tell me your favorite milk substitute.

now FOR REAL. this would be a cool place to finish off at. you can go after this, I promise you're not missing out, you can leave. If you made it here, tell me what tattoo you would get if you decided to get a new tattoo today.

thank you for reading, I promise this is a cool place to stop reading the post. you really can go now. :) 👍

*ahem* alright, you are still with me. I'm happy to have ya. here's the deal, the chance of you seeing a picture of my dog within this post is 12.5%. you have a 1/8 chance of seeing a dog in this post.

keep in mind, that is not a high chance.

if you are ready to leave now, tell me your favorite plant. like, your favorite plant can be a tree or a specific fruit or vegetable or whatever. just tell me your favorite. then you may leave the post.

alright. since you made it here, I have the ultimate test: a link. definitely the highest barrier to entry so far, this could lead you anywhere. it's a trust exercise with a complete stranger.

clicking on this link will continue the post further, for how long this will go on, I cannot say. If you do not want to proceed, tell me your favorite sauce, and be on your way. I like buffalo ranch.

One time my mom took me to a hibachi grill with a bunch of her friends and if you've never been to a hibachi grill basically the draw is that theres a bunch of interactive performance stuff done by the cook who cooks for you at your table, and one of the tricks they did at this one was take a squeeze bottle full of liquor and shoot it into your mouth across the table (with permission)

And now at our table my mom explained this because it was my first time going, and she wanted to make sure to warn me it was liquor because she knows I don't drink- she just said "if he offers to shoot at your mouth, say no because it's alcohol".

And so the chef does his thing and it's all very impressive, but the time does come where he pulls out this squeeze bottle of booze and asks me if I wanna try

I of course say no, because I really don't do alcohol, so he moves on to someone else

And I watch, and slowly come to understand that this is some sort of game, because once someone is drinking from the continuous flow the chef starts counting "ONE! TWO! THREE!"

I realize that we're trying to see who can keep drinking the liquor from three feet away without choking or spilling, and its a bummer cause i kinda wanna try and I CAN'T

But he goes around the table with everyone there, and I think my mom makes it to three, one friend makes it to five, I think my brother got to three as well, and he comes back to me

And I'm REALLY bummed out now but I will not drink alcohol, so I sort of sadly repeat that I can't when he pulls out a SECOND BOTTLE and grins and goes "juice?"

And Im like FUCK YEAH LET'S GO and I'm a bit worried he's gonna spray it into my eye or something but he doesn't, it hits me right at the back of the throat, and I start drinking while the whole fucking table counts "ONE! TWO! THREE!"

And like

It just sorta

Kept going?

And Im looking at the chef and he starts freaking out by the time we get to six, and at around seven I kinda start looking around and my auntie is staring back in shock, my brother is laughing his ass off and my mom has her face in her hands

And then at like nine or ten it gets like. Super tense and quiet, and only the chef is still counting

And I guess it got too much for even him cause we're at eleven and I don't believe in quitting early and it is almost painful how awkward it's getting

So he cuts me off at twelve and raises his hands in the air and everyone else cheers and claps like a dumb movie

and I just sit back in my seat to look back at my mother staring at me surrounded by everyone she knows, bright fucking red in the face and choking with honest to god tears in her eyes and she puts her face back in her palms and starts chanting "I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know"

So I give her the biggest, proudest grin and tell her, "I won."

So now every time something suggestive happens in a movie, or in conversation, or something shocking happens around us and she goes to jokingly cover my ears, I just ask her, "Remember when I won?" And she goes face-down and groans, because I know EXACTLY how she thinks I trained to develop that particular skill and she HATES knowing that about me

The truth is though, I'm a whole ass 28 year old virgin. I've never so much as kissed anyone in my life. I had no idea I could do that trick until that exact moment

But she doesn't know that, and I'm never gonna tell her

Watch this to learn how to put down toxic masculinity and internalized misogyny. As with “the kids these days are terrible” beginning circa prehistory (thanks Plato) this points to “men aren’t masculine anymore” and tracks it backward.

I keep saying nothing ever changes to those who know history.

està conseguit! en el penúltim dia però ara ja és un ema per a debat oficialment <3

eci.ec.europa.eu

European Citizens' Initiative

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