Legolas: *statement In Elvish*

it's always so funny to me when arthur/uther says something like "i don't believe this, it's just a silly tale" when merlin/gaius warns them about some legend because like. my guy. YOU LIVE IN A LAND OF MYTH AND A TIME OF MAGIC.

Solarie: If I didn't know any better, I'd think you have feelings for me

Chosen Undead: I love you, I'd kill and die for you, I will shove a longsword up Gwyn's ass for you

GODFREY: oh go fuck yourself

MARIKA, ABOUT TO PULL THE FUNNIEST SHIT THE LANDS BETWEEN HAS EVER SEEN:

diversity win! the local satanic cult leader is bisexual!

Ghost fans love to say things like "this is pope scrungly the 3rd he got assassinated because he was too horny and stopped believing in satan. He's actually the same guy as all the other popes but its part of the bands gimmick so dont worry about it. He's 40."

BBCM characters as weird photos i found on my phone

Merlin

Arthur

Gwen

Gwaine

Leon

Morgana

Lancelot

Percival

Elyan

Gaius

I thought about Mandalorian Solaire and I suddenly got really happy. 

if skyrim followers complained about me as much as i complain about them

'she just ran on ahead so i followed and got stuck in a bear trap. turns out she has that sneak perk that means you don't set off traps. and she didn't mention this to me gods damn it. i'll have these scars for ever now. both mental and physical'

'so i stood there zapping the bandits while she crept around in the back looting all the chests and barrels she could find. didn't even thank me. didn't give me a share of the profit. she gave me a pretty neat sword she found but the moment we returned to whiterun she sold it'

'i have never seen anyone this addicted to alchemy. straight up dropped like five soul gems and a pair of boots so she could carry more cave mushrooms. like i know i'll never see the profit from any of these valuables but it grinds my gears so much'

'she went straight up a mountain. like a vertical rock face. in the time it took her to struggle to the top i'd found the path not fifty yards away. oh yes and yesterday she just straight up yeeted herself off a cliff. said something about being able to reload if it didn't work. honestly i wouldn't care but she's the fricking dragonborn and i'm being held responsible for her safety'

'she keeps going into sneak mode and then back again in quick succession apparently just to confuse me. turns out she finds it amusing watching me bob up and down trying to copy her. gods damn it she's a literal child'

'that time she ran headlong into a cave full of bandits and then hid behind me when they attacked. said something about it being fine because i'm essentially immortal. i didn't feel immortal when it was done'

'those times when i do most of the fighting while she hides, only for her to run in last minute, do one of those hideous shout things, and take all the credit'

'i'm carrying five swords and a delicatessen's worth of cheese and then she hands me an entire fricking dragon'

'she laughed at me because i can't swim very well. she didn't have to swim across the river when there was a perfectly good bridge right next to us. also if i looked like i was drowning it's because i was. there was a slaughterfish'

'when she hired me i didn't even know she was the dragonborn. i just thought we'd have a jolly to a couple of caves and then part ways. but no. 67 caves, several trips up to high hrothgar and a metric f*ckton of dragons later and we're still going. i do not get paid enough for this sh*t'

gender envy

Current mood: sitting in my room at 4 am depressed af because Skyrim and Tamriel aren't real and I can't live there.