Prints

I am slightly behind on the 30 days posts; the ones I have missed will be interspersed with the current days'

Evening on the Garden   -   Olga Kvasha , 2016

Ukrainian,b.1976 -

Oil on canvas, 75 x 85 

Château de Versailles

Versailles, France, 27 VIII 2023

ur a <stranger> - WILLOW

Night Shfit - Lucy Dacus

Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away) - HEALTH (cover)

Unloved - HEALTH

Church Outfit - Poppy

Doooshiyoooo!! - Tempalay

Imperial Girl - R Sound Design

Round Trip - 36g

Dramaturgy - Eve

Torinoko City - 40m-P

Bonfires - Blue Foundation

She's Lost Control - Joy Division

3AM-Alternative Root - Madoi the Maid

Help Me (Tsunawatari) - Hako Yamasaki

Let's discuss.

Interesting playlist development in not just including quieter music and synthpop but also including alt rock and post punk

Warm like a breeze on a summer evening.

Warm like a weighted blanket.

Warm like freshly baked bread.

Warm like the winter sun.

Warm like a new candle.

Warm like a hand-knit sweater.

Warm like a cup of tea.

Warm like a gift given.

Warm like a hello.

Warm like a home cooked meal.

Warm like a letter.

Warm like laughter.

Warm like a well-read book.

Warm like a favorite song.

Warm like a hug.

Warm like a home.

And you say you're cold-blooded?

Blog for posts and reblogs by co-fronting headmates

Tags used:

🌟 -> Host speaking

🦋 Musings 🦋 -> Talk tag for Pouf

⚙️.txt -> Talk tag for Mirage

🔥 -> Working (non talk) tag for the str.eetc.leaner

Other tags that may be seen, most courtesy of Pouf:

🔮 -> Directly related to spirituality

👑 -> Interior architecture for royal buildings

❤️ -> Lovecore imagery

🐜 -> Insect imagery

💭 -> Thoughts close to the heart

Akira Kusaka

Alright so I've given it some thought, and so far:

🦋 Musings 🦋-> talk tag

❤️ -> lovecore/heart imagery, as well as posts that express a certain love drunkness; roses and other pink things

👑 -> architecture for the most part, though there might be a few posts that put me into a certain mindset; I can't totally describe it but it's very clear if you look

Been thinking about my tag system and am likely going to use some emojis! I'll move a few more posts over here before I solidify it, but I do have a plan!

Was thinking a bit on main this morning about how my kin identity can be used as a litmus test regarding whether or not I feel like someone can fully respect me.

On a surface level, it's almost silly, oh it's this guy? The butterfly that cried glitter and screamed all the time, who was awful and mean and nasty towards the end? Well, yes. That is indeed the surface level of this, I saw everything he did that make people cringe, and yet there was still that element of resonance. Once I feel like the more jokey part of this is accepted, that's when I feel I can pull the curtains back and begin to show some of the psychological horror that underlies this.

To show what I've discussed in therapy, to talk about how a large theme of my connection is the idea of servitude and how I was forced into that position for my family, how I wasn't able to form an identity outside of this predetermined role and how I was to perform it to the best of my ability, and how any deviation was punished, to the point where I held these standards to myself and would pull myself apart when I couldn't meet them. To show how deep this truly runs carries a certain type of despair, not necessarily for myself, but to really show someone else what this means to me and how it is such a vital part of myself.

It's for sure a certain type of intimacy, it puts me in a vulnerable position on every front; on the surface I could be made fun of, in which case I laugh along and maybe even retract a statement or two, and on a deeper level it blows my trauma wide open and exposes a lot of the most damaging things I experienced. It's an odd place to be, but I'm not upset by it. People who are aware of it don't necessarily bring it up unless I talk about it, which in and of itself is a rare occasion. That stands in comparison with actually seeing myself be called Shai, something which only one person has done, and it has delighted me to no end.

I feel that the odder aspects of myself need to be things that will be met with respect. As someone who grew up trans, queer, and neurodivergent, I've been seeking that kind of respect for quite some time. When it does come, it's almost always from those who share a trait with me. I enjoy the bonding, and of course enjoy the respect, but I just wish it was something more easily seen; to just grant someone in the margins respect and decency.

I crossed paths with a fe.itan! The internet is truly a magical place