I Was Initially Going To Drop A Kin Playlist, But As I've Become A Lot More Comfortable With My Identity

Am I stressing myself into splitting?

Very exciting to have what I've termed a "clinically significant bug moment" and notice that my gender dysphoria became exponentially worse as it happened.

I've elaborated more in my personal writings I may post here as well, but today is my kintype's birthday. I've been thinking a lot about us, how we blur the lines between what is and isn't real, and I feel so much pride and love. I love being his second chance, I love experiencing the world anew.

Your soul is in my heart, and I feel it every day.

I love you, I love myself. My god, I actually do love myself.

Thank you.

Happy birthday.

@classicaldreams

𝓜.

Two years of us..

You may have been with me for longer, but the choice to take your name marks a crucial moment in our history. Ultimately, it was a choice.

An act of love. To want to be associated with you, to want to acknowledge you, to welcome you into my life, even when I hadn't fully realized that was what I had been doing. Shaping my perceptions of the world with your own thoughts, feelings, and memories.. it was something that was ultimately necessary to my own growth.

The literal, fragmented nature of you means I was always experiencing myself. Aspects of myself I had distanced myself from, and yet there you were, reconnecting me to myself. Drawing my soul back to me.

Your joy, your pride, your guilt, your shame, all of it meaningful to me. All of it serving a purpose. Every action was another piece of the puzzle, and I finally feel able to step back far enough to see the entire picture.

I see us. I see us, and what I no longer see is the shame I had felt in the way we coexist. You will always be with me, regardless of our integration. The experiences we have had and continue to have are cherished; it feels as though a second soul exists alongside my own, and it is something I treasure deeply.

I love you. I love us. I love how you've carried me this far and shown me things about myself I would never have understood otherwise. I love how your view of the world has colored my own. I love how I feel I was able to give you new experiences, demonstrating the good of the world to not only yourself, but to myself as well.

Life has been cruel to both of us, but it has also been kind, unbelievably kind. I am grateful to have given you a second chance, and I am grateful that you were able to assist me with my own. Hand in hand, we stood against the very forces that tore us down, and we emerged victorious, united in the beauty of the world.

Two years of evolution. Great pride in a heavy amount of effort, of work, of constant effort.

And the results have been nothing short of miraculous.

I love you.

Thank you for two years.

I've joined the server and oh, it is so busy-

Thinking very much about wanting to do at least one nice thing for myself every day. Use a body spray or light a candle or some incense, really engage in sensory things in a way I know makes me happy. Use some of my colored light projectors, keep it a little dimmer yet colorful. Break down my meals into simpler components, even if it doesn't feel like a "real" dinner, I'm still eating and that's the most important part.

I don't want to feel like it takes any extra amount of energy to be kind to myself, to make life and my immediate space feel welcoming for me.

To use the candles, to burn the incense, have the food, to merely take up the space I occupy. It isn't a very lofty wish, and it's something I hope I can make a reality in the immediate future.

this isn't a response to any request, i'm just online window-shopping again and wanted to shout out my favorite fragrance shop since i think the scents they sell can be pretty alterhuman friendly

demeter fragrance is my go-to for unhuman scents. smells that are hard to capture. they have a lot of florals, which is common for perfumes, but uncommon scents like asian pear, basil, and monk fruit. they have enjoyable but strange scents, like the ozone smell of thunderstorms, and the smell of freshly upturned soil (one of my favorites, the scent is called earthworm). they have some smells that are outright weird, like turpentine, funeral home bouquets, fresh tennis balls, and glue

if the sound of smells named things like riding crop, lotus, spacewalk, tarnish, and wet garden sound interesting to you, please check them out! their 0.5 oz/15ml cologne bottles are really conveniently sized. for a fragrance company that makes strange smells, their prices are really cheap. most of their scents can be bought as splash bottles, spray bottles, roll-ons, lotion, body wash, and body oil and have sampler spray bottles

Oh this is my blog! I can put insects here!

I am slightly behind on the 30 days posts; the ones I have missed will be interspersed with the current days'