Latest Posts by itlookslikeafreakinllama - Page 3

A Bittersweet Realization

Rhett was giving him that look again. The look that told him he was going too far, things were getting too intimate, Link was pushing the line of what was acceptable.

“Back up, man.” He was going for intimidating, but Link could see deeper. He saw what Rhett was trying to hide. For the first time in their lives, Link saw- really saw- the true meaning in that warning look.

Link took a few steps back and smiled a humorless laugh. “So, you gonna tell me how long?”

Rhett snorted, “What are you talking about?” His face tightened in another show of warning. But Link was determined. He knew what he saw and he wasn’t gonna let Rhett deny it any longer.

“I’m talking about you. Being in love with me. How. Long.” Link’s fists were shaking at his side. “Tell me. ”

“I ain’t in love with you.” Rhett spat, but his body was betraying him from the start. His heart was racing, and he knew Link was finally seeing what he’d fought so hard to hide. He had to fight harder, and so he twisted his expression to disgust. “Just what the hell are you thinkin’ anyway? I knew you were conceded, but damn!”

“How long?” Link asked softly, his blue eyes a storm of determination that bore into Rhett. So Rhett stood a little taller and returned the fierce stare.

“I know you are. I see it, Rhett. I just want to know how long.”

Rhett felt anger swell in his chest. His stomach twisted even as he kept his expression stoic. He felt so afraid. “Just… stop.” And there it was- the hitch in his voice, the change of tone- both men knew there was no hiding it any longer. It was simply a matter of when Rhett was willing to say it out loud. He would’ve almost felt relief, glad to be rid of the heavy secret, but the fear was overwhelming. “Always.” He breathed.

“What?”

“Always. Since we’ve met. Since I realized I shouldn’t be feeling for you what you were feeling for girls.” His head hung but he still wore the same fierce expression, his eyes locked on Link’s.

“What about your wife?”

“Always.”

“Your kids?” Link tried to calm his shaking voice as he stepped closer. He suddenly felt so angry with Rhett that he feared he would hit him.

Rhett shook his head, a dry laugh forcing itself from his lungs. “Always. Always Link. Isn’t this what you wanted to know? I’ve always been in love with you.” His hands were trembling at his side.

“So, why didn’t you tell me?” Link growled.

Another ugly laugh ripped itself from Rhett. “Oh yes, I should’ve told you back when we were kids, back when even touching yourself was considered a sin! Remember that? Or maybe I should’ve told you when we in college and you started dating Christy! How about after our children were born, would that have been a good time?” Rhett was seething now, his breath escaping in large huffs.

And for some reason Link just wanted to hit Rhett. Hit him hard, bring him to his knees and make him hurt. He felt his temples throbbing and his nails cutting little crescents into his palms. His face was hot and tingly, and he felt torn, a part of him wanting to inflict serious pain and a voice pleading with him to just drop it altogether. He wanted to yell at Rhett, so he did. “You should’ve told me!” His voice cut through the room and bounced from the walls but Rhett yelled louder.

“Just stop Link! Stop! Stop actin’ like you were ever an option!” A beat of shocked silence passed.

“And if I was…” Link’s voice was still loud and angry.

“Just stop!” Rhett could feel his throat going raw. He was trembling hard and wishing Link would just shut up for once in his damn life.

“If I was?”

“You never were! You never will be! Just stop!” His voice was cracking under the weight of his words. He softened his gaze, silently pleading for Link to stop with the questions.

“Rhett.” Link’s voice was low and unsteady. “If I was an option, then?”

Rhett stared hard, his jaw clenched so tightly his temples ached. “Damn it, Link! I would’ve chosen you! If I’d have thought-” He bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted the metallic tang of his blood. “Stop… just stop. Please.”

It felt as if the air was stolen from Link’s lungs, a deep burning replacing the oxygen. He shook his head in disbelief and as he watched Rhett’s shoulders tremble with each breath.

“What’s wrong with you?!” Link snapped.

The words cut so deeply it felt like losing a limb. The flash of pain that twisted Rhett’s face was gone so quickly that Link wondered if he’d imagined it.

“Can I go now? Are we done here?” Rhett asked, his voice hollow. He didn’t wait for Link to respond, walking past him and leaving Link drowning in regret.

Link stood in silence, frustration and anger boiling up in the pit of his belly. Without thinking he flipped the desk over and screamed, sending the GMM story boards flying across the floor. He couldn’t process the words. He couldn’t believe- didn’t want to believe- Rhett’s confession.

“What the fuck?” He asked himself. His throat was raw from yelling but more than that, his throat ached from tension. Words unspoken lingered on his tongue and tasted like bile. His breathing grew tight, fighting its way into his lungs. Rhett’s words repeated a continuous loop, and though he wanted to be angry with Rhett for the confession, he found he was more upset with himself for letting Rhett leave.

—–

Link knocked on the door of Rhett’s house. He shuffled nervously as he waited for an answer.

“Oh.” Link sighed when Jessie opened the door “Is Rhett here? ”

“No, Link…” She said softly “he’s not here. He said he was going camping, so he’s probably out in the desert somewhere.”

“Was he ok?” Link asked before he thought the words through.

Jessie shrugged her shoulders, he eyebrows scrunching as she thought. “He seemed fine. Why? Was he okay when he left the office?”

Link hesitated for a moment before finally sighing “We kinda got into it a bit, before he left. I just wanted to apologize to him.”

Her gaze lingered for a moment as she regarded him. “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Link, you know he can’t stay mad at you!” She laughed gently and Link felt a pang of frustration near his temples.

“Oh, alright. I’ll get going then.” He quickly hugged her goodbye and got into his vehicle and headed toward the desert.

——

The drive was too long and hot and quiet. His thoughts were spinning as he tried to make sense of what Rhett had confessed. He gripped the steering wheel tighter and breathed in deep. But even as anger swelled in his chest, his stomach twisted with renewed longing. When Link finally arrived at the site he decided to park far from Rhett’s base, hoping it’d be one less thing for Rhett to be frustrated by. He walked the short distance to where Rhett usually set up, and at the camp site he saw Rhett kindling a fire.

Rhett hadn’t noticed his presence yet, so Link just watched him for a moment. Rhett looked small hunched over the flame. He looked worn down and broken, an aura of sadness radiating from him. Link’s chest tightened painfully.

“Rhett.”

Rhett whipped around and stood up, facing Link. His face was devoid of all emotion. Link felt a small undercurrent of fear but quickly quelled the feeling.

“Rhett I-” The words got caught in his throat but he swallowed through the anxiety, “I didn’t mean for this… I didn’t mean to insult you. I-”

But Rhett was getting tired of Link’s fumbling words, and turned his body back towards the flame. His shoulders slumped just enough and it caused Link to gasp through another swell of sadness. He felt his friendship was teetering on an edge and he had never felt so afraid.

“I shouldn’t have asked-”

“No, you shouldn’t have! You should’ve just shut your damn mouth!” Rhett snapped. He stood up again and surged toward Link. For a moment Link thought Rhett was actually going to hit him, and he flinched, only to see Rhett stop and give him a look that said ‘really?’ “I ain’t gonna hit you man!” Rhett said with disgust. He shook his head and stood there facing Link. The silence that stretched between them was painful. And as much as he tried to hide it, Link could see the heartache in Rhett’s gaze.

Link released a breath he didn’t know he was holding and gasped. “I’m sorry! I…”

Rhett stared at Link for a long while, his features slowly softening. “Ok…” Rhett hoped he could stop the damage before it became irreparable. Maybe things could go back to the way they were, and Link could forget everything he had said. “… ok. Link, can we just let it go? I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

Link sighed a trembling breath “…but Rhett, we can’t keep running from it.”

‘Link… enough, please.’ Link kept his gaze locked on Rhett’s, even as Rhett silently pleaded, and there it was again- the warning look. 'Shut up.’ 'Don’t do this.’ 'Don’t make me want you when you’re not an option.’

“Link, I really don’t-”

“Is this where you took that half naked picture you posted on Instagram?” Link asked, his voice its usual calm. Rhett raised an eyebrow at him but Link just smiled and walked over to the fire. He sat down in the sand, leaving Rhett standing there dumbfounded. Link stared at the half crescent moon that was slowly becoming visible as the sun set. “This is the place, right?” Link asked again.

“Uh yea… this is it.” Rhett replied. He watched Link for a moment before he decided to sit down by the fire as well, opposite of Link.

They stayed that way for a long while- Link watching the sky while Rhett studied Link, until the desert grew semi dark. Millions of stars peppered the lavender sky above them.

“Rhett? Do you really believe there are alternate realities out there?”

“Yea, I do.” Rhett replied, his voice worn, and again silence settled between them. The fading sunlight and warm glow of the fire highlighted Link’s handsome features. Rhett had to look away, his eyes falling back to watch the flames. He felt so angry with himself.

“Do you- do you think there’s a reality where we’re together?” Link asked, his voice low.

Rhett locked eyes with Link, his glimmering blue irises causing Link’s chest to tighten.

“We’re together in every reality, Link.”

Link smiled his crooked smile, “I mean… like really together…”

Rhett sighed. His heart twisted painfully and a stinging lump burned at his throat. “I like to think so.” He blinked back tears, grateful for the growing darkness that hid his obvious sadness. He wiped at his face.

Link stood up suddenly. “I should go.” He huffed the words, sounding suddenly desperate. He felt his breath quickening, his stomach twisting itself into a thousand knots. He turned away as pain bloomed in his chest. His heart ached with each step that distanced him from Rhett. His hands trembled at his side and he stopped only a few paces away from the fire. He breathed in deep and somehow he found the courage to turn back towards Rhett. When he saw Rhett, he gasped at the realization.

Rhett was standing, watching Link with uncertainty. His face bearing the same determined look that Link had come to recognize as the warning and the plea. How had he not noticed before? A surge of desperation and guilt washed over him.

“It should’ve been this reality.” Link whimpered as the words tumbled from his trembling lips. “We should’ve… we…” Rhett was moving toward him as the words continued to spill. “We should’ve been something more. It should’ve been us…”

“It’s always been us.” Rhett replied. He pulled Link into a tight hug. “Just please, stop talking. I can’t, Link. I just need you to stop.” He held onto Link and tried to control his ragged breaths. But he was breathing hard and feeling his heart crumble and trying to hold back the flood of emotions threatening to wash over him. He breathed in deep, inhaling the dusty scent of the desert and the soft smell of Link’s hair. He let his head fall so that his forehead was resting against Link’s temple. And, as of their own accord, without permission a few heavy tears fell past his lashes.

The first tear was searing hot, and Link’s breath hitched when he felt it fall against his neck. Rhett was still holding him close and breathing hard, but now Link noticed the slight tremble of Rhett’s shoulders. He squeezed Rhett closer, clenching the fabric of Rhett’s shirt. “Rhett-” his voice faltered, “you should’ve told me, we should’ve-”

“That’s not fair Link…” Rhett sighed, shaking his head gently.

Link felt dizzy with desperation, Rhett was holding him so tightly, pulling him as close as their bodies would allow. The realization that he had been wrong all along, every interaction they had ever had was now seen through a new lens. Every touch… every lingering stare… everything- it all held another meaning now. Link nudged his head against Rhett’s until they were pressed forehead to forehead. “We should've…” he repeated softly.

“Stop Link.” His voice was weak, his brows pinched and his eyes shut tightly as he continued to shake his head no. “Please stop, please.” But even as he begged Link to stop, he pressed his body tighter against Link, dipping his head low and whispering the plea against Link’s cheek. “I need you to stop, I really do…”

Link’s breath was coming in short soft gasps. His eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of Rhett’s breath against his skin. “W-we should've… we-” He moved and tried to catch his breath as every nerve lit on fire. Their lips brushed against each others for a moment, and Link whimpered at the surge of heat that burned through him.

“Please, Link, please-” With each word he spoke their lips touched- feather light and painful with longing. “Please-” He moved his hands up along Link’s back and neck, squeezing the base of Link’s skull. He was losing the fight, his heart twisting with desperate desire. His lips trembled for a moment against Link’s.

“Fuck…” Rhett breathed the word harshly, accepting the defeat that came with it. And Link gasped as Rhett moved forward, closing the small space between their mouths, pressing softly with barely restrained desperation. He resolved to show Link just how they should’ve always been. Show him how he desired him. Show him how he ached for him- how for years he ached. He pushed his heart into the kiss, moving slow and taking his time as he explored Link’s mouth, swallowing the needy whimpers Link was making. His large hands held Link’s face close as he arched his body against him.

Link felt completely consumed, his body overwhelmed by Rhett and the desert and crisp cooling air. And all too soon, it was over. Rhett stepped back, leaving Link cold and breathless. The sudden loss of warmth left him shivering.

“You should go.” Rhett spoke quietly, his eyes wide with fear. “I came out here to be alone… and we- we have families… and we can’t do this- do that- again…”

Link stood stunned. “Yea… ” Link whispered. “You’re right… I should go. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He shivered from the cold, turned on his heel and headed back to his car.

Rhett watched him disappear into the darkness of the night, and his fear twisted into guilt and regret and the deepest of longing. His throat ached with unspoken words and his eyes burned from staring at the empty space where Link had been. He wanted to call out to him, but instead he swallowed around the ache in his throat and climbed into his tent.

Link reached his car and his hands trembled as he opened the door and got into his seat. His keys fell from his fumbling fingers and he gripped the steering wheel with anger. His body shook with anxiety. “He’s right.” Link told himself through gritted teeth. Images of his wife and children flashed through his mind as he scrambled for his keys. He screamed in frustration and turned the key in the ignition, and as the car roared to life, he gripped the steering wheel tighter. Music blared from his speakers, loud and jarring.

“- I’m not in love I’m not in love I’m not in love I’m not in love I’m not in love we are not in love we are not in love we are not in love we are not in love-”

The electropunk song faded into another quick beat just before Link reached over and turned the radio off.

In the small tent, Rhett layed on his back and inhaled deeply. He hadn’t bother setting up his air mattress, choosing instead to simply throw his sleeping bag and blanket down on the hard ground. He kicked his heavy boots off and slipped his faded jeans down his legs, kicking them into the corner of the confined space. He didn’t have the strength to pull his shirt off, stopping mid-way in the action as regret swelled in his heart. He tried to swallow down the ache in his throat, but he couldn’t seem to get it to dissolve. His chest was tight with sadness as he touched his lips, acknowledging the bittersweet realization that he had finally kissed the man he had always loved. The kiss was more than he had ever dared to hope for. His mind wandered to his alternate reality theory, and he pressed the palms of his hands against his stinging eyes until he saw stars. Even through the sadness, he couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips. Suddenly, the silence of his reverie was broken by the unzipping of his tent door.

Rhett sat up just as Link peeked his head inside, and Link gasped as he was stopped short by the closeness of Rhett’s face in the small space.

“Rhett, we need to talk.”

“Ok.” Rhett breathed.

“Uh, can I come in?” Link asked softly. He zipped the tent door closed when Rhett nodded yes, and inhaled a shaky breath. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be here but I feel like if we don’t talk about it now, we’ll never bring it up again. And I don’t want us to go back to being angry with each other. I don’t want us hating each other because of things unsaid. Don’t you think we spent enough time keeping secrets? Do you think if we just tell each other… how we feel… maybe things will be easier. Because these last few weeks… not knowing why you were so mad at me… I don’t want to go back to that.”

“Link, man… I can’t. I can’t say those things to you.” He wiped a heavy hand over his face. “I… I’m sorry for being a jerk to you. That was my own issue… I’ll handle it better, I promise. But this…” His breathing grew heavy as the ache returned in his throat and he couldn’t look away from Link’s intensely blue eyes. “I can’t say those things to you. I can’t…” But even as he spoke, Rhett reached his hands out and touched Link’s face, the back of his fingers trailing down Link’s cheek. “I want you, Link.”

“Oh.”

“I know I’m being selfish and we have our families… and our company to think about… Fuck, just no… just leave and we can pretend none of this ever happened… but god, Link… I want you. So please… please leave. I can’t talk about this, not today.”

Link pushed his forehead hard against Rhett’s. “Kiss me Rhett. Please just-”

Link whimpered and whined through his nose as Rhett pressed his mouth to Link’s, kissing him deep and hard, pushing his tongue into Link’s mouth and thoroughly tasting him. His hands cupped Link’s face as he pulled him against his body. Their mouths moved like sinners at confession, yearning for forgiveness, and finding redemption within one another. And when Link climbed over Rhett and straddled him, slowly rolling his hips with lust and gasping at the sheer shock of pleasure, they locked eyes and made the decision to see the night through no matter the consequences. Rhett felt dazed as he looked up at Link and he wrapped his arms around Link a little tighter, pulling him closer until their mouths were moving against each others once again. He caressed his lips against Link’s mouth until the desperation evolved into something deeper. Link planted open mouthed kisses along Rhett’s lips and beard and chin, and down across his neck, trailing his tongue against searing skin. He pressed his tongue against Rhett’s pulse and licked up to the lobe of Rhett’s ear, tasting the dust of the desert and sweat and salt of a man he had waited his entire life to taste. When he was sure he had tasted every expanse of Rhett’s neck, Link pushed Rhett’s shirt up and over his head, exposing his heaving chest.

Rhett sighed heavily as Link dipped his head low and traced his lips over Rhett’s shoulder. His body trembled as he layed back, Link pressing a warm trail of kisses along his chest. He was finding it hard to catch his breath as every nerve jumped under Link’s tongue. And when Link sat up, pulling his own shirt off, Rhett wrapped his hands around Link’s waist. He stared up through heavy lidded eyes as he guided Link’s hips in a slow moving thrust, the heavy denim of Link’s jeans creating a burning friction against the thin fabric of Rhett’s boxers. His heart ached with longing.

“Rhett, c'mere…” Link shuddered as Rhett rolled his hips up against Link. But Rhett stayed laying, holding Link’s hips tight against his own as he rocked against him. Link breathed hard, gasping as Rhett gyrated beneath him. His eyes went wide and glassy and his mouth fell open as sweet, slow rolling waves of pleasure radiated through his body. A part of him couldn’t belive what they were doing, grinding like teenagers out past curfew, desperate and hungry. Another searing arc of heat burned up his spine, and he fell forward crashing his lips against Rhett’s. They kissed deeply, alternating between deep breath stealing passion and soul aching tenderness.

“Off… take 'em off Link.” Rhett commanded, hooking his fingers over the hem of Link’s pants. And with fumbling fingers Link unbuckled his belt. He unbuttoned his jeans, pressing his chest to Rhett and in a swift movement pulled his jeans and boxers off. For a moment they hesitated, Link staring down at Rhett with an anxious longing and Rhett staring right back, that same fierce expression of determination that once hid everything, but now told so much. Rhett seemed out of breath, hesitant to look or touch Link’s newly exposed skin and instead just let his hands rest on Link’s hips. But Link brought his lips to Rhett’s thrumming pulse, kissing him gently and trailing his hand down Rhett’s chest and tightly defined abs, and with shaking fingers pulled the boxers off from around Rhett’s hips. Rhett kicked them off from around his feet, and then arched his body against Link.

The first touch stole the breath from Rhett’s lungs. Link was solid, unwavering heat, and he stared intently as the tip of his erection slid against Link’s. Rhett couldn’t help but stare, even as Link pressed kisses against his neck and shoulders.

“R-Rhett… you’re shaking.”

Rhett shuddered as Link wrapped his hand around them both. He squeezed his eyes shut and pulled Link to his mouth, rolling his hips in time with Link’s stroking hand. His body felt electrified and he arched hard into the current.

“You do this… you do this to me, Link.” He spoke the words against Link’s open mouth. He couldn’t stop the tremors that shook his body with every stroke of Link’s hand, his body coming undone under Link’s touch. Both men arched and bowed their bodies, craving the friction. The sounds of their hitched breaths filled the tent as they moved in rhythm with one another. It was almost more than Rhett could take.

“I should’ve kissed you sooner… ” Rhett gasped, sitting up and pulling Link close to straddle him .

Link wrapped his legs around Rhett’s waist and dropped his head to Rhett’s shoulder. He was gasping hard, the sudden consuming warmth that radiated from Rhett’s body making him dizzy from want. To Link it seemed surreal to see Rhett in such a state of arousal, confessing his deepest secrets. And the words Rhett spoke, rough and gravelly with desire, sent waves of such intense pleasure it threatened to consume him. His toes curled into the thin sheets as he thrusted against Rhett and pumped his hand a little quicker over their erections.

“I should’ve kissed you during high school, after my basket ball games…” he was clinging hard to Link’s body, deep heat coiling tightly in his abdomen. “I should’ve kissed you that night in college… I was so afraid.” Link’s hand was slick with precum as Rhett continued rocking his hips and whispering confessions. “I should’ve kissed you everyday. I should’ve- oh god…”

Rhett was groaning loud, his face buried in the crook of Link’s neck, the warmth of his climax spilling over Link’s fingers. Red heat blurred his vision as Rhett thrusted his hips in time with Link’s stroking hand. And when Link’s body went rigid, his orgasm following just as violently, hot and slick against Rhett’s already sensitive member, everything went white with the intense sensation. Rhett’s orgasm was ripping through him, making him cry out as it lingered. His body didn’t seem to want to stop, the waves of pleasure continuing to batter his senses until he was shivering against Link’s kisses.

And Link kissed- gently over his eyes, against his temple and forehead, pressed sloppily into his hair and down the curve of his sweat seasoned skin. Link kissed along ridge of his collar bone, and down the peppering of freckles on his shoulders. He kissed until Rhett was finally able to catch his breath, and then he kissed Rhett’s mouth.

When the mess between their bodies finally cooled enough to become annoying, Rhett reached over into his bag, pulled out some body wipes, and they cleaned themselves down.

“After your basketball games?” Link chuckled, reaching over and brushing his thumb over Rhett’s knuckles.

Rhett looked up, a sad smile pulling at his lips. “I was so pumped after those games… I always just imagined making the winning basket, finding you in the bleachers, and just kissing you right in front of the entire school. But there was no way that was gonna happen…” Rhett continued, “can you imagine my dad finding out?”

“Oh gosh, he would’ve killed us both.”

Rhett laughed softly and tugged at Link’s hand, pulling him close. They layed back against the covers and kissed sweeter than before. They let their hands touch and explore, cradling each others faces and whispering stories from their childhood.

Link laughed as Rhett recounted the times Link had given him 'accidental boners’.

“Is that why you always pulled that 'I’m dead’ move?”

“It was the easiest way to get you under me.” Rhett replied waggling his brows. “Besides you’re hot when you’re angry.” Rhett smiled, but couldn’t hide his heartache. He touched his thumb to Link’s lips. “I’ve spent a lifetime running from this…”

They are quiet for a long while, just touching and feeling and tasting, trying to commit to memory the feel of skin against skin.

Soft and slow, Link took his time exploring Rhett’s mouth. Each touch of their lips was a conversation between their hearts, and it was painful and honest. He couldn’t shake his sadness even as his body buzzed in pleasure. And when Rhett pulled away, his brows furrowed and his stormy eyes heavy with lust, Link kept their gazes locked.

“Link-”

Rhett’s eyes fluttered shut, his hands tightening in Link’s hair as another orgasm pulled its way through him. His toes curled against the cool fabric as he arched into the wave, grinding against Link’s bare stomach. He groaned against Link’s mouth, whimpering and twitching through the pleasure.

“Oh god, you…” Link sighed and peppered kisses against Rhett’s throat. His own hardness pressing against the slick warmth of Rhett’s release. He kissed and nipped at Rhett’s shoulders and down his chest, mouthing words he was too afraid to speak. Rhett’s hands were everywhere, holding him closer, keeping him grounded even as he lost himself. The pleasure was too much, his high pitched groans filling the quiet of the tent as he neared the edge of his release. “You… oh gosh, Rhett… oh god, oh fuck…” Link tried to stop his rambling words by pressing a hard kiss against Rhett’s mouth but he was so close to release, teetering on an edge that he just couldn’t fall from. He whined as Rhett deepened their kiss and wrapped his hand over Link’s straining erection. “Oh fuck, Rhett…” He gasped hard, tears slipping past his tightly squeezed eyes. And as the deep warmth in the pit of his groin finally boiled over, he couldn’t stop the words escaping his lips. “Fuck, I love you. Rhett. Oh fuck… I love you so much. So much… so much…” He whispered, in a daze as his body tingled with residual pleasure. “So much, Rhett… I love you.”

Rhett was kissing him hard, swallowing the words that threatened to break him, pulling Link as close as their bodies could bear. Link’s body was limp from exhaustion and Rhett rolled them over, placing Link on his back. He kissed along the wet trail of tears marked on Link’s face, and whispered, “Link, for so long… I’ve loved you… for so long.” His lips trembled as he spoke, his soul layed bare and raw. He pushed the sweat dampened strands of hair from Link’s forehead. Link’s eyes fluttered shut and they kissed gentler than before, until somehow they both drifted off to sleep, Link tucked beneath Rhett’s large frame and Rhett nestled against Link’s neck.

When Rhett awoke, the sun was just cresting over the horizon. His body still hummed with satisfaction, and he burrowed his face into Link’s neck and inhaled deeply.

“Mmmm, g’ morning.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Rhett apologized.

Link turned toward Rhett, kissing him sweetly. “It’s ok, I…” He pressed his forehead against Rhett’s, “I’m glad this is real… I thought for a moment, I might’ve dreamt it.”

Rhett smiled but the sadness in his eyes wasn’t unnoticed. “Link…”

“I know, Rhett. You don’t have to say it…” Link’s breath caught in his chest, the rising sun creating a golden halo around Rhett’s face, and Link’s eyes stung from the beauty of it. “This was ours. And I’m so glad for it, but it was… an alternate reality.”

Rhett barked a small laugh, holding back the sob that nearly followed. “Yea, you’re right brother… just another place in the multi-verse…” He touched his thumb to Link’s lips, his voice faltering as he spoke, “and I wish I could stay there. I could make that place my home.”

Link smiled his crooked smile, pressing his face against Rhett’s palm. Tears suddenly heavy on his lashes. His chest ached and tightened as he spoke, “You are my home in every reality… you’re my best friend. I’ve wanted you… always… and I’m so glad…”

“Me too, brother…” He smiled weakly, wanting to say so much more but finding his chest constrained with sadness. They were quiet for a long while, tears silently slipping from both of their eyes. Rhett gently wiped at Link’s cheeks, letting his thumb trail over Link’s lashes. He wanted to pull Link into another deep kiss, show him again how much he loved him, kiss his tears away, and soothe his aching heart. But as the sun rose he was pulled back into the reality of a life with a wife and children. A wife and children that he loved just as much as he loved Link. He wouldn’t let them destroy their marriages. He wouldn’t let them ruin everything they had built together. He wouldn’t compromise one life for another. So he just cried, letting the tears fall freely as he cradled Link’s face. Finally, when the deepest ache in his chest seemed to settle, Rhett pushed a kiss to Link’s cheek. “I love you, Charles Lincoln Neal.” He whispered, letting his lips linger for a moment before getting up, silently dressing and reluctantly leaving the tent.

His insides felt like molten but when he had stepped outside, he felt closer to Link than he had in years. The sun was bright and it felt like a new day.

Link stepped out a moment later and stood beside him, breathing in the crisp morning air. A warm breeze brushed past his face and he smiled, wide and happy, at his best friend. He no longer felt as if his friendship was falling apart. He felt happier than he could ever remember feeling, knowing he had Rhett by his side- even if it was just in an alternate reality.

rb if you support rhett’s thick trunk and dad belly

happy valentine’s day guys, and congrats on 15 million!!

for @egocentrifuge, with all my love ♥️

delirium

link stays up most nights wondering what it’d be like. he feels needy, replaying the same scenes like they console the broken parts of his heart. he’s making it worse, dreaming up the missing pieces, but then rhett shows up with a girl, another blonde, and his imagination sharpens. link’s lovesick, jealous and obsessed. he’s spending tonight alone in his room, wishing they’d never moved into a house together, pining for the 25year-old he’s bound his life to. 

rhett’s out tonight, and link’s curled up in his blankets, deep in a fantasy of what it’d be like to date him. the girls he brings home always like him, starry-eyed and draping themselves on his tallness, fitting their hips between his big hands and leaning on their tip-toes for beardy kisses. and when rhett takes them out, link imagines what it’d be like to ride with rhett somewhere special. for rhett to put on all his best moves, reserve a date night in a restaurant above his means just to prove he’s more than handsome. more than smug, masculine, reaching a hand under the table for his date’s thigh, giving his best toothy grin, wiggling his eyebrows. he’d be too charming, magnificent, and link whines in the dark. 

he plays with the idea of rhett showing him off like he does what’s-her-name, parading link as his boyfriend, touching him in confidence like they’re both lucky to be pretty. link thinks about being with him in a group, tucked into his side at a bonfire, a park, a movie night. kissing him against the door of a car, worming a hand into his pocket. calling him beau and babe, being praised in return. being touched, hugged, kissed, claimed. link feels himself get hot as his brain defies him, leads him into territory he’s desperate to avoid, but never does.

link thinks about laughter in daylight and moans after nightfall. dating rhett means having him in that way, the one way link’s never had for himself, and he burns in his lonely bed, kicking off his blankets. link breathes hard through his nose and keeps his hands at his sides as the fantasy takes control of him - rhett pushing him through the house after a late-night date, mouth gnawing kisses into his neck as his hands rove under his t-shirt. those girls, they have rhett when he’s warm, aroused and pliant, when he’s snuffling into their chests and sucking them where they’re sensitive. when his bigness is horizontal, crushing the body beneath him and squirming like an animal impatient to mate.

he’s heard the moans, link has, and the noises of a squeaking bed and breathless grunts fill his head as his hand sneaks down the front of his boxers. memory and fantasy meet in imaginary sensation, and link can almost feel rhett’s body pressing him down. rhett’s hand on him, tongue in his ear, telling him you’re mine, and god says we’re allowed to make love… calling him honey, warming link up in perfect touches like a boyfriend familiar to the curves of his body, licking him where it feels good and fitting between his legs.

link throws his head back in a whine as the scenes flick, tightens his hand on himself and rolls through confused images of rhett in bed, rhett in his arms, rhett as his date. he’s panting, whimpering under his breath, so lost to what could be, should be, isn’t, squirming like he’s sure dating rhett would leave his partner in a state of delirium. link burns in swirling ecstasy as his whines grow ever-noisier, and he’s so worked up that he doesn’t hear rhett return from his date.

he doesn’t hear rhett tell a female friend to wait in the den, his footsteps as he approaches link’s bedroom door, nor his ragged breath, and he definitely doesn’t hear rhett clap a hand over his mouth and groan into it because he can hear link on the other side, whining and crying rhett’s name in delirious pleasure.

Awesome post! Love it! This is my blind mythical beast, Iris.

The Mythical Beasts of the Mythical Beasts!

Hello friends! So I’m absolutely obsessed with animals and wanna see yours as well! Let’s share pictures of all of our “mythical beasts”!

Here are mine: cats: Penny (white and grey), Lilly (brown tabby), and Nacho (orange tabby) dog: Alfredo (shih tzu/poodle mix)

Wow, that truly unexpectedly hurt a lot.

“Your perspective on life comes from the cage you were held captive in.”

—

Shannon L. Alder

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

the cats are coming for rhett

(x)

i live, die, and cry at rhett’s reaction here.

(x)

Just don’t want anyone to forget about this.

“The easiest lies to tell are the ones you want to be true.”

—

Holly Black

Japril will be forever endgame.

Japril will forever be endgame for these reasons:

1.They just are.

2.That they are meant to be. Both Sarah & Jesse think so.

3.Jesse wants off & out of that show so bad that nothing else could ever be.

4.Because the show ended 13x16. Just like Sarah & Jesse have said/implied.

“Japril will last forever for a reason.”- JW

I’m having a bit of a sad japril moment. So I need to remind myself of these points to make myself feel better.

Hello Japril shippers! This years we got some sad news… With the end of season 14, the cast left two brilliant actresses, Sarah Drew and Jessica Capshaw. The news was devastating for many Japril fans. We won’t see this beautiful couple in the next season but they will forever be in our hearts. Let’s celebrate this week and say goodbye to our couple in the way they deserved.

Important informations:

Japril Appreciation Week 2018 is from 10th to 16th September.

You can participate by making gifs, graphics, videos, picspams, writing fanfics, notes etc.

Tag your posts with #japrilweek2018

If you have any question, you can ask me here.

If you don’t want to stick to the plan & you have other idea for each day, don’t hesitate to post it. :) 

Schedule:

Day 1: Favourite Sarah & Jesse moments behind the scene

Day 2: Favourite Japril scenes as friends

Day 3: AU / A scene you wish happened 

Day 4: Free choice

Day 5: Favourite scenes between Japril and other surgeons

Day 6: Favourite season

Day 7: Time to say goodbye… Does shipping Japril change your life, even a bit? What you are thankful for Sarah and Jesse? 

Spread the world! :)

— letters of a lost love // t.c [x]

“Y’all have no idea how much work we both put into telling these stories authentically for you. The late nights in parking lots and stages and texts with our amazing writers, the run throughs, rehearsals and rewrites. The patience, joy, frustration and tears. You didn’t always love us. Some things take time, effort and trust. #Japril will last forever for a reason. #ThankYouSarahDrew” - Jesse Williams

Insatiable | Official Trailer

“If anybody could have saved me it would have been you.”

—

Virginia Woolf

The deeply worrying thing about catcalling is that the catcaller must know that their target isn’t going to turn around and fall in to their arms pleading ‘oh dear my please have sex with me here and now’. A lot of the time they know that. Often they don’t do it for that, someone who shouts ‘nice tits’ from a van isn’t trying to date you. They’re trying to humiliate you, reinforce their dominance over you; it’s an exercise of male power. It’s a way of communicating ‘I can say and do whatever I want to you, no matter how inappropriate or how uncomfortable it makes you feel, and you can’t do anything about it.’ Catcalling is not a compliment, it’s a threat.

Me and You ❤️❤️❤️

Thanks for everything, Kepner

You didn’t have it all together when you first came on the scene. You weren’t really sure what your exact purpose was, but you knew you had one. It was so easy to see you had a heart of gold and while you were a bit idealistic for my usual tastes - you were genuine. I liked that. 

I watched you struggle, make mistakes, and fail. I saw you get knocked down more times than I can count, but I also saw how many times you got back up. People didn’t make it easy for you. It was a little too easy to pick on you and pick on you they did. You were the butt of many jokes, but you took it right in stride and kept your eye on what you wanted. You knew who April Kepner was and that is all that mattered. 

I watched you fall in love with your best friend. I watched you change a young man who could have taken a very different path without your influence. It was so frustrating that you couldn’t see yourself the way he saw you. It was even more frustrating to see you make the wrong choice when the right one was in front of you. You were finally coming into your own professionally and I wanted to scream that you couldn’t seem to get it together personally. 

I watched someone who had always been so calculated and cautious throw it all to the wind and take a risk. I watched her finally follow her heart. You married your best friend and were the happiest you’d ever been. The kind of happiness that is palpable. Yeah, it was crazy but that’s what made it all the more wonderful. 

I watched you struggle through the early days of marriage. Learning to live together, learning to share finances, learning to navigate the differences in beliefs, and the Mother-in-law. Oh, the Mother-in-law. I sat in my living room with my jaw on the floor the night you very abruptly announced you were pregnant. I was so happy watching you prepare for the addition to your family. This person who had struggled so much in the beginning had finally come into her own. Trauma surgeon, wife, and very soon….Mom. 

I cried as you were given the worst news possible. I sat there shocked as you made the hardest, most selfless decision a person could possibly make. I sobbed as you struggled with the decision and gave birth to your baby boy. My heart was broken as you let him go. 

I watched you struggle in the aftermath of losing him. I watched you push everyone and everything away. For someone who had been knocked down time after time and gotten back up - this was bigger than all of that. You couldn’t find solid ground and you did what you had to do to survive.

I watched as you discovered that sometimes the hurt is simply too great, but that second chances were possible. I was equal parts horrified and elated to watch your baby girl come into the world. I was so certain she would be the road back. Things didn’t go quite as I’d hoped or even liked, but you made it. At the end of this wild ride, you made it. From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows, you made it. 

In a world full of Merediths, I thank you for teaching us it was ok to be an April. It was ok to march to the beat of our own drum. It was ok to fall down sometimes just as long as we got back up. It was ok to make mistakes. It was ok for life to be a mess. It was ok to stand for what we believe in even if it’s not the popular thing. It was ok to not be ok. It was ok to be ourselves.

So, at the end of her 9 year journey, I simply want to say thanks for everything. I laughed, I cried, I grieved, and I celebrated while watching the crazy, wonderful, messy, beautiful life that was April Kepner. 

She’s the one [x]

Sarah Drew and Jesse Williams sweeties I’m so sorry a psychopath showrunner ruined 9 years of your work

Hey if you’re recovering from anything at all and trying to heal from something that hurt you, I support you 100% and I think you’re pretty brave. I don’t care about what you’re recovering from, how you’re doing it, the time it takes you to do it, or the people you surround yourself with in this process. Don’t let others shame you into thinking your recovery is somehow lesser or not worth it. Don’t let others shame you for being in recovery in the first place. Healing is so fucking hard and the people who are belittling you and your story simply don’t understand your struggle. Forget them. Focus on you. You’ve got this. 

You want to make my dreams come true? This is my dream.