Latest Posts by justateenworkinglifeout - Page 2

saying “i want him” about the character but not in a romantic or sexual way . i just Require him i need to Obtain him

Somehow almost all my poems make people cry. So either I'm:

One: a bad poet but my stories are sad enough that I can make people cry through bad poetry

Two: a good poet with stories that are just kinda sad but can be manipulated with words into beautiful poems that make people cry

Three: a good poet with sad stories that are enhanced through poetry to make people cry

Or four: a bad poet with stories that aren't sad and people are just crying because they feel bad that I'd choose to read them bad poetry

Either way, every time I read a poem to an audience, it seems like at least one person will cry or tell me they almost cried and had to actively hold themselves back.

Don't know exactly what to make of this. My poems are usually about my bad life experiences though, so I guess that probably plays a role.

The local sandwich shop has a regular ass grilled cheese. They call it the 'Guilty Pleasure'. Us theatre kids frequent it, and I have had to branch out in what I order just because I can't for the life of me look the man behind the counter in the eye with a straight face and say 'yeah, I'll have the Guilty Pleasure'. No matter how many of my friends order it with no problem, I just can't...

On the other hand, the sandwich I usually get now is pretty damn good and I probably wouldn't have tried it if I had just stuck with... the Guilty Pleasure.

one thing about tumblr at least here they’re just called “posts”. Saying “I saw this tweet/reel/tiktok/short” makes me feel like I’m ordering at a restaurant where they make you say Texas Tom’s Nut-Slappin Griddle-Chizzle instead of grilled cheese

Switching between these every day

moment of unspeakable beauty today when one of my coworkers called another coworker "judas" for not splitting a can of white monster with her, and i got to watch the guy who sits next to me open a new google tab, type in "jeudis," and say quietly to himself "french thursday...?"

Stop shaming people for their body count

Who cares how many people she's killed so long as you love her and she looks pretty with blood on her face.

Me: literally just chilling about to sleep

My brain: cooking up the most disturbing, detailed, horrible, gut-wrenching intrusive thought ever

Me: don't do it...

My brain: here's an image of your abuser sitting over your motionless body and eating through your flesh and organs. I made it myself.

I don't even know how to deal with my life right now. Nothing I can do except try to survive.

Confessions from an emotional abuse victim:

#5 Kind Gestures

After spending so much time with either the absence of kindness from others, or with kindness always being conditional, you tend to forget the feeling of having someone truly care about you and be kind to you.

Depending on the situation, my brain will go into one of two modes when being showed kindness. I will either immediately become paranoid and worry about what I will need to do to repay it, or just completely short circuit and become confused.

The urge to repay tends to come when it's someone I don't know very well being kind, or when I'm given compliments. I start to wonder how I'm supposed to make the miniscule amount of energy that they need to use to be nice worth it for them.

When I react with confusion, it's usually either with someone who I know well or it's a really big gesture that means a lot. After being treated horribly for so long and having my sense of self-worth chipped away at, I sometimes have trouble comprehending why someone believes I am worth caring about and going out of their way to be nice to me.

Most of the time for them it's just something casual and simple, that they just feel is good to do, but for me it's a whole new healing experience every time. Getting past my initial confusion is hard, but it's worth it because once I can accept it, it opens an amazing point of view and helps me truly understand the fact that I am worth caring about (which is something people tell me and I try to tell myself, but is still hard to fully grasp)

The kindness of all these new friends I've met since I started high school is one of the biggest things I have to thank for aiding my recovery. Whether they've helped me through hard moments, or have just been a good friend to talk to and hang out with, these people and their kind gestures mean so much to me.

lock the fuck in?? no way dude. I am TUCKED the fuck in :) good night

starting a collection #blackmold

He’s going to be *on screen*!!

Happy season three renewal, everybody 😂

Maybe we should all draw this weird little gremlin to celebrate 😉

I heard a litre of chocolate milk can cure almost anything

APPARENTLY RIORDAN CONFIRMED SOLANGELO'S RELIGIONS AT SOME POINT?

This is what it feels like when your past abuser has obviously moved on. Fuck you mean you casually sat nearby me and didn't care? I had a flashback over that. So unfair lol.

got real mad reading the news and drew this

I am exhausted. Schoolwork is beating my ass and I can't stand it.

lord the peasants are so loud today