Gap In My Résumé Cause I Was Just Snuggled Up So Cozy

OMG OMG OMG THE NEW BEARNELLI FIC????????

ARE YOU CLINICALLY INSANE??? I CANT BELIEVE YOURE LETTING US READ SUCH A MASTERPIECE FOR FREE......THE FLIRTING?? THE TENSION???? THE OVERALL DUMBASS ENERGY?? ACTUAL PERFECTION!!!! THIS IS THE KIND OF FIC THAT RUINS YOU SPIRITUALLY, MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY BUT IN AN AESTHETIC WAY. OLLIE MY POOR EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED GREMLIN WHAT MAKES YOU THINK ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH KIMI IS PLATONIC 😭😭. I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT OLLIE WOULD TOP BUT NOOOOO THE WAY YOU WROTE KIMI MADE ME FEEL DUMB AF FOR EVEN THINK8NG THAT CAUSE WOOOWWW MY MAN KIMI OUT HERE DOING THE MOST. THE WAY HE PRACTICALLY TORTURED OLLIE FOR WEEKS GAVE ME LIFEE LIKE YASSSSSSS TAKE REVENGE FROM THE DUMBASS WHO HAS BEEN IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS FEELINGS FOR YOU FOR YEAAARSSS BY FLIRTING WITH HIM TILL HE GOES INSANE. THIS FIC IS CANON TO ME, LIKE THIS SHIT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING IS SOME ALTERNATE UNIVERSE AND WE'RE JUST UNLUCKY TO NOT BE BORN IN IT

YOU HAVE RUINED ME IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE. I WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM THIS. ITS LIKE YOUR WRITING STYLE WAS SPECIALLY CREATED FOR ME IN A LAB SOMEWHERE. I WOULD DEVOUR ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOU EVER WRITE EVEN IF IT IS JUST YOU DESCRIBING PAINT DRY FOR 100K WORDS. I WOULD EAT THAT SHIT UP LIKE STARVING WOMAN. I GENUINELY LOVE YOU

brb gonna write a 100k fic abt paint drying

but seriously, THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH FOR READING BABYGIRL I AM LITERALLY SLKFJFGBLVFKSNLB THANK YOU!!!! I JUST. YEAH.

you can literally say i love you to anyone anywhere anytime ever

STOP THINKING THERE IS A DEADLINE. THERE IS NO DEADLINE. TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND TAKE YOUR TIME.

I love love and am terrified of it just like everyone else

me with the f1 demigod series

Music is wild like howd U make that lol

who would win in a fight for charles love max verstappen or franz hermann

Oh oh okayokayokay so Max would definitely win in a physical fight. dude shows up shirtless for no reason, already angry, probably tries to suplex Franz before the bell even rings. he fights like someone who’s been mad since birth.

But Franz? Franz doesn’t fight. Franz haunts. He just shows up in a turtleneck, says something cryptic like “love is a battlefield, but I only bring poetry,” and Charles is done. Fully spiralling. googling “how to fall in love with a man who may or may not be emotionally unavailable and vaguely European (and maybe dutch??).”

So yeah,, Max wins the battle, but Franz wins the war. And the boyfriend.

tldr: franz hermann obviously.

to be loved the way i love f1, what a thought, but not like ferrari since 2010, no, that’s like a cursed love letter you keep reading even though it’s giving “toxic ex who keeps texting” vibes. no thank you, i’d rather be loved like red bull in 2023— chaotic, fast, a bit of drama, but at least we’re winning and making everybody mad. and maybe like mclaren after 2024? who knows, still figuring it out, but they’ll get there and so will i, just. let me breathe.

i’m not even sure i want to be loved— i just want speed, and noise, like driving down a street, f1 music blaring while my 1.2L engine pretends it’s a turbocharged beast, but it’s not, it’s just me, pretending i’m at monaco. but somehow it feels real.

so i went and chose engineering, because who wouldn’t want to suffer, like i’m not already doing enough by being born too late to be an f1 driver. like, yeah, i could’ve raced at 18, but here i am, soldering wires and calculating resistance, living the delusion that somehow, someway, toto wolff will see my tweets and hand me a seat so i can drive into the pit of my dreams.

but nah, i’m just here, pretending i’m quicker than i am, just like when i got my license at 18 and blasted f1 tracks as if i was about to win silverstone, while my car barely passed the speed bump at the end of my block. it was freedom, though. it was delusional and it was everything.

maybe i’m not even in love with people, maybe i’m just addicted to the idea of speed— and yeah, the walls i keep hitting don’t help, but hey, if i crash into a barrier, at least it’s a passion crash. i’m in love with the chaos. maybe that’s my problem.

but pls—if you’re gonna love me, don’t love me like ferrari, don't love me like “oh, we were so close but here’s p2,” love me like red bull— always faster, always something up in the air, always winning (in the most chaotic way possible). that’s the vibe i’m after, that’s the dream i’m chasing.

so, here i am—delusional, writing f1 rpf fanfics at 2 a.m. while figuring out why i’m broke and why my heart beats to the rhythm of pit stops, but if you get it, then maybe you get me. or maybe we’re both just chasing something that’s always just out of reach.

(aka: send help, and a car with a turbo unit, pls.)

franz hermann is the people’s champion. franz hermann is the last line of defense. franz hermann didn’t come to race. he came to destroy max verstappen with his own government-issued alias. the prophecy is real. trust.

how do you like franz hermann

Franz Hermann for second redbull seat. Trust. We will stop that evil orange car from winning the WCC and WDC one way or another.