&&

ventured into the shiro tag for the first time in years, lying to myself by saying “it can’t be that bad this long after the show ended, right?”

yes it can. it’s almost exclusively gross ships and almost no solo art whICH IS ALL I’M LOOKING FOR. but no i guess all he exists for now is gross, uncomfortable ships. like, even more than before lmao. I’M NOT PULLING PUNCHES ANYMORE BC I’M NOT IN THE FANDOM OR RPC ANYMORE: ALL SHIPS BETWEEN HIM AND ANOTHER PALADIN ARE GROSS THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK.

...also it informed me that i missed his birthday. on an actual leap year. so not only am i bleaching my eyes but i’m also a SHAM.

GENERAL

“Can you walk?”

“How did this happen?”

“What the hell happened?”

“I hit my head.”

“Did you hit your head?”

“Can you hear me?”

“Don’t close your eyes, stay awake!”

“Come on, stay with me!”

“No no no no no!”

“You shot me!”

“I didn’t mean to shoot you!”

“You stabbed me!”

“I didn’t mean to stab you!”

“Take the knife out!”

“Don’t take the knife out!”

“It was an accident!”

“That/this wasn’t an accident!”

“That looks broken.”

“I think my leg/arm is broken.”

“That doesn’t look good.”

“Am I going to die?”

“You’re not going to die!”

“Calm down!”

“Don’t panic!”

“I can’t help you if you don’t let me!”

BLOOD

“Are you bleeding?”

“Don’t move, you’re bleeding.”

“Is that blood?”

“Whose blood is that?”

“That’s a lot of blood.”

“Do you know how to get bloodstains out?”

“Why do you know how to get bloodstains out?”

“Damn, I got blood on my shirt.”

“Don’t move, you’re losing blood!”

“I won’t let you bleed out!”

“You have blood on your face.”

“I swear to god, if you get blood on me…”

“What’s your blood type?”

“Why in the hell would you need to know my blood type?”

WOUNDS

“That cut is nasty.”

“You have a massive gash in your arm/leg!’

“Don’t touch it!”

“Don’t move, you’ll only make it worse!”

“I’ll get some bandages.”

“You’re going to need stitches.”

“That looks infected…”

“Did you get bit by something?”

“There’s no exit wound, the bullet is still in you.”

“There’s an exit wound, the bullet went through you.”

AFTERCARE

“How are you feeling?”

“How does it feel?”

“It’s still not healed, but it’s getting there.”

“Let’s go home.”

“I just want to go home.”

“Let’s get you into the bathtub.”

“We need to change your bandages soon.”

“Get some sleep, okay?”

“You need to eat something, you’ve been through a lot today.”

“I’ll check up on you in a bit.”

“You’re going to be fine. I promise.”

so if anyone had any doubts that @fearfcrged​ is the best, this guy just showed up in the mail

i’m crying, tysm rook. you’re amazing and the note is so sweet and i don’t deserve this ;u; ♡

Another TFLN Meme

[text]: Just please try not to piss _____ off, I really can’t afford to find a new drug dealer again [text]: Well I’ve made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I’ve got this babysitting thing down [text]: Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas [text]: He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn’t disappointed. [text]: alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a sprained ankle. i die now [text]: Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming I’M UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE [text]: This ER has an aquarium in it!!! [text]: I’m fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life? [text]: You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when I’m drunk because “I could have died”. [text]: He’s tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should’ve shaved my armpits [text]: You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink. [text]: i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it. [text]: anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj [text]: Someone said we’re out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying ‘but where will all the polar bears live”. That drunk. [text]: I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when I’m drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me. [text]: He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child. [text]: I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this. [text]: At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks? [text]: Quick question. What’s the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders? [text]: Go back and try to find another to go home with. [text]: I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs. [text]: Ah, but I don’t wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday. [text]: I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone’s foreheads so they kicked me out [text]: This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It’s now a love polygon and I want out [text]: You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls. [text]: There’s so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now [text]: Just told myself the phrase “You’re not THAT single” while dressing myself [text]: who are you and why are you in my phone as Dr. Seuss [text]: so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning [text]: you tried to order a margarita mcflurry and when they said they didn’t make those you tried to call 911 [text]: all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed [text]: not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn’t use stairs [text]: I wonder if wearing only a tiara counts as being clothed. [text]: Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a “shady motherfucker.” Can’t argue with that one. [text]: thanks for bringing me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated. [text]: I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.

Touch my muse. Be descriptive or simple, tender or violent, fond or hateful - anything goes.

where the hell is everybody this morning

People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them and their response is “you’re safe with me” – that’s intimacy.

Taylor Jenkins Reid (via 9realms)

Worst feeling in the world is knowing you did the best you could, and it still wasn’t good enough.