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Who You Should Fight: Marching Band Edition

piccolo

who wins: them

don’t do it.  don’t fight the piccolo player.  just don’t.

flute

who wins: them

they were told you were challenging them for first chair. run while you still can.

clarinet

who wins: them

threaten you with their register key.  forfeit for the sake of all.

saxophone

who wins: them

you are promptly deemed a “nerd” and stuffed in a band locker by the entire section even though you only wanted to fight one of them.

low reeds

who wins: no one

 you yell increasingly bad sexual innuendos at each other across the band room for twenty minutes until you both get tired and go home.

mellophone

who wins: them

punches you in the face repeatedly on the offbeats of a sousa march playing in the background.

trumpet

who wins: you and then them

you win the fight easily while they’re giving their villainous monologue.  entire trumpet section later jumps you in a dark hallway for disgracing one of their own.

trombone

who wins: no one

they get distracted halfway through the fight and wander off.

low brass

who wins: them

you mock them by making farting noises with your lips.  they punch you in the stomach with their abnormally strong arms.  you can’t breath properly for days.

pit percussion

who wins: you

pretend like you can’t tell the vibes, marimba, and xylophone apart.  wait until they’re blind with rage, then run them over with the closest wheeled pit equipment.

drumline

who wins: them

show up to the fight with a shank fashioned out of a broken drum stick.  proceed to kick ass.

drum major

who wins: them

calls you to attention (you can’t disobey!) and then waits until you faint from exhaustion.

color guard

who wins: them

have you ever watched one of these fuckers on the field?  you’re screwed.

band director

who wins: them

just when you think you’ve won, they get up smiling and say “one more time!”

Hi

So, this is my first time making a tumblr post, hope I’m doing it right. Feel free to ask questions and stuff, I can’t promise I’ll answer right away!

I made some bi stuff for pride…… pins and stickers etc are available on my redbubble 👀 I’ll add more stuff as I think of it

Legit me doing drop spins, I can never do more than five before the rifle attacks my hands

When you drop in block your guard instructor be like….

oh sure color guard can throw things but when I do it i’m “irresponsible” and “reckless with my instrument”

The mashup you never thought would work

Ensembles according to Band Kids

Marching Band: Band Band

Drum Corps: Diddle Band

Indoor Drumline: Indoor Diddle Band

Indoor Color Guard: Flag Band

Orchestra: String Band

Choir: Sing Band

Concert Band: Fancy Sit Down Band

horror of dracula 1958 // girlfriend by avril lavigne