Latest Posts by lavalazulikelp - Page 6

YOU. ARE. NOT. IMMUNE. TO. JOE. HILLS. PROPAGANDA.

Scar saw the poll turn green. He cheered to himself and smirked.

“About time someone acknowledged my sexiness,” Scar said to himself. He scrolled back up to the bracket, looking for his next competitor. He read the name and paused.

Technoblade.

He swallowed a large mouthful of air. Behind him, he heard the sick sound of steel scraping its scabbard.

—

“Doc, my brother from another mama!” Ren shouted. He leaned over the edge of the Perimeter, looking for his friend. “Did’ja see the bracket? We’re up against each other!” He heard nothing.

“Doc?” Ren shouted slightly louder.

“I heard, Ren,” Doc said. Ren turned around slowly, finding Doc standing over him in his ripped lab coat, taut muscles exposed to the elements that surrounded him. “And I’m sorry that your time in the bracket has to end this way.”

—

“Oi, Pearl!” Cleo said, landing next to their fellow hermit.

“Hiya, Cleo!” Pearl said. “Is this about the bracket?”

“Yep,” Cleo said. “I just wanted to stop by and say, no hard feelings.”

“Why would there be hard feelings?” Pearl asked.

“Well, no one’s heard from Zloy since I beat him into a pulp,” Cleo said. “I just wanted to make sure you knew there’s no shame in losing.”

“What makes you think you’re gonna win?”

Cleo arched her eyebrows menacingly and glared at Pearl.

“No, Pearl, I don’t think I’m going to win,” they said. “I know.”

—

“Hi Joel!” BDubs shouted. His head had just shot up out of a bush on Joel’s island.

“Good lore, BDubs!” Joel shouted, quickly moving his foot out of the way. “How did you even get here?”

“The power of my sexy prowesses!” BDubs said enthusiastically. He disentangled himself from the foliage and drew himself up to full height, which was not particularly tall. “You know what they’re saying about me on the Tumbles, right?”

“I think they actually think I’m sexier,” Joel said.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” BDubs said, attempting to throw his arm over Joel’s shoulder. Unfortunately, he couldn’t reach, so he awkwardly backed away with an outstretched arm.

“I am, as you know, a very tall and sexy god of lore,” Joel said. “I think that beats ‘weird mossy dwarf’ any day.”

—

Scott cursed as he slipped on a rock. He had been crawling through the wilderness for several hours, searching for his competitor, but he had finally come close. He checked his map one more time, seeing how far he had come. Looking up, he saw a small wooden cabin. He approached it and knocked on the door.

Etho opened it, allowing savory smoke to waft into Scott’s nose.

“What’s up?” Etho asked.

“I just came to tell you…” Scott said nervously, “we’re up against each other in the bracket…”

“Oh, that’s fun!” Etho said.

“And that I’m going to tell my fans that if they don’t vote for me they’re homophobic,” Scott said.

Scott couldn’t see it, but deep down he knew that Etho was frowning disapprovingly.

—

Grian walked into Mumbo’s base, following some weird, high-pitched noise from his own base.

“MumboJumbo!” a voice was singing. “I am hotter!”

"Mumbo?” Grian whispered hopefully. Following the sound, he walked deeper, approaching the slight opening in the walls of Mumbo’s vault. The noise grew, and Grian’s hopes grew with it.

Those hopes deflated when he entered and saw Slimecicle dropping slimeballs on every surface.

“MumboJumbo!” the autotuned voice continued. “Come and fight me!”

Grian sighed heavily, turned, and left.

—

Wilbur was walking towards his front door when he noticed Joe Hills sitting on his porch.

“Oh,” Wilbur said. “You’re Joe, right?”

"Yes I am!” Joe said.

“Is this about the bracket?” Wilbur asked.

“Oh, that silly thing?” Joe said. “No, not in the slightest! I just wanted to say howdy!”

“Do you want to come in or something?” Wilbur offered. “I have soup if you want it. And I’ve been told I make some pretty good burgers.”

“No, that’s fine,” Joe said. “I’m good just sitting right here.”

“OK, then,” Wilbur said, opening the door. He walked inside and looked around. On a hunch, he checked upstairs. Nothing was amiss. He came back down to find Joe sitting exactly where he had left him.

“Are you going to… move or something?” Wilbur asked.

“No, I think I’ll sit right here for the next…” he checked his phone. “22 hours and 57 minutes.”

—

Grian returned to his cave to find Quackity lounging on a dark oak stair in front of the portal.

“Hiya!” Quackity said.

"Oh no,” Grian said nervously. “What do you want?”

“I thought I’d skip ahead a bit and try to cut a deal,” he said. “You see, I know I can’t win against you. You’ve got way too many stans.”

“Look, if this is about the bracket, I don’t really care-”

“Look, Grian. I have an offer.” Quackity stood up and walked towards the hermit. “Let’s pool our votes and form a ticket together. We can be co-sexymen!”

“No no no no no,” Grian said. “I’ve heard this story before.”

“But I have to beat Wilbur!” Quackity said. “Come on, man. What the fu-”

“Nope!” Grian interjected, shoving Quackity back through the Rift.

Behind him, Grumbot lit up. He whirred briefly, and then spat out a message.

WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?

“This is a family-friendly server, Grumbot,” Grian said.

NO GUYS SERIOUSLY YOU HAVE TO VOTE FOR JOE HILLS

ALRIGHT LISTEN UP FELLAS IF YOU DONT VOTE FOR JOE HILLS I HAVE TABLE FULL OF TORTURE DEVICES AND THEY WILL BE USED /j

JUST VOTE HIM PLEASE

I think my biggest flex may be that I have seen *every* life series POV. All 3rd Life POVs, all Last Life POVs, all Double Life POVs, ALL. OF. IT.

HOLY *HELL* IS THIS AMAZING

oh yeah here’s smtn me and boy made lol

I AM CHOKING OF LAUGHTER—

LIKE IM DYING /j

my collection

AAAAAA I LOVE THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Tango sits on the peak of the burned-out farmhouse roof, silent. For once, he is not blazing with anger or explosive with emotion. His face is impassive and stiff, and his hair flickers a quiet red.

A voice from behind, soft and stilted. “Can I… sit with you?”

It’s Jimmy. Tango says nothing.

Behind him, Jimmy sits on the opposite peak, facing Tango’s back. “I…” he starts. “I know it really isn’t worth anything, not now, but I’m sorry.”

Keep reading

etho with no brim

etho with no brim

DUDE THIS IS SO COOL

YOUTUBE | TWITTER

made a 3rd life animatic.... i hope you enjoy <3

DONT FORGET ABT IMPULSE YOU—

HE WAS LEADING THE BLOODY RESISTANCE

ITS ALL CONNECTED

I just realized that with Sausage passing his crown to Cleo at the end of the crossover, Hermitcraft’s Crastle now shares its owners with the original 3rd Life Crastle…

Bdubs as its architect and Cleo as its ruler… it just feels right, doesn’t it?

Currently hyping up the DocM youtooz a BIT too much

Beloved <3 You did NOT have to apologize my guy

ren…

I’m currently trying to live through a severe 3rd Life addiction and NOW SEASON FOUR IS LIKE RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER????? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?????

Totally. I’m all for this

Petition to add an "i'm not a robot" test to the follow button anyone?

true

you know I think an underrated docm77 character trait is that he DOES sometimes have exactly the same sense of humor as a third grader, which is very funny coming out of a middle-aged german father.

I relate to the statement you just made

hi i miss dogwarts

You know the brainrot is bad when you know the whole black heart altar conversation by heart and it’s impossible to not watch that scene while talking along

LOOK AT WHAT ARRIVED TODAY

LOOK AT HIM! HES ADORABLE!

he’s watching me diamond paint

Currently watching Titanic for the first time with my friends. One of them has watched 3rd Life and the other hasn’t.

So it was the scene where everyone is running around trying to get on the lifeboats. And I blurt out, without thinking:

“Yknow, all these people could’ve survived if they just used the power of Dogwarts.”

Currently FaceTiming my friends and I REALLY don’t want to but I just joined and it would be so awkward to leave

I swear my hyperfixation with boat boys is healthy I swear

No seriously officer, I didn’t mean it when I googled “what is the worst place to bite a human” I didn’t mean it I promise

Yes I write fanfiction. Yes it’s awkward. Yes I don’t know what I’m doing with my life I’m a young aspiring author and I choose to write fanfiction instead of actual stories.

@theroboticscientist

Deep breaths, deep breaths, deep breaths. You’re alive, your name is BigB, you’re a listener and your main residence is on a private server.

BigB shook his head. He knew who he was, so did he suddenly just… lose it?

Coughing broke the silence. He turned his head and saw Ren, hunched over and coughing like he was about to die again.

BigB didn’t have the energy to stand up. He looked at Ren.

Or, well, what had been Ren.

It wasn’t Ren anymore.

Just a huge eye, staring him down. It didn’t blink, and BigB didn’t dare to either. Silence followed, but can there really be silence when a giant eye is staring you down?

The eye narrowed. The purple iris flashed with different shades, making BigBs eyes hurt and he closed them.

He shouldn’t have closed them.

He knew he shouldn’t have closed them.

If there is one word that could describe what happened after, he would like to hear it. Mostly just felt like all your insides being torn out but through your mouth.

BigB flung his eyes open. There wasn’t one purple eye anymore, just about a hundred.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

He cowered back against the ground, curling up into a ball and closing his eyes again.

… what was his name again?

“You’re Tyniq,” a voice cut through the silence. “You know who you are.”

I know who I am. I know who I am. I’ve always known who I am.

But… no. My name isn’t Tyniq. Not anymore. What is my stupid name?

“Already told you. Tyniq.” The voice said again.

Stupid thoughts! Watchers can read minds!

“That you can remember.” The voice was closer now.

That I can remember.

Silence followed again. Whoever he was, whether his name was Tyniq or not, he didn’t know.

The silence was deafening. It must’ve lasted for years, because he could quickly not remember ever hearing sound.

Wings from his head. They must be some sort of instinct he didn’t know he had. The silence was even greater now, like some form of advanced hearing had come along and just made the whole situation worse.

It must’ve been a hand that grabbed one of the head-wings. What else could it be? A hand grabbed the other one too.

“Shouldn’t you be with us instead, Tyniq?” The voice came from nowhere, before the head-wings exploded into excruciating pain.

The greatest pain is removing that of what you live for.

Words: 415

Song inspo: Blow My Brains Out

Lyric: Unlucky me, aware of the pain, all cause I happen to have so brain

Literally obsessed with the fact that some people have been allies in all three seasons.

Like Ren and BigB. Both were in Dogwarts in 3rd Life. Both were in the Castle/Shadow alliance in Last Life. And they were soulmates in Double Life. THE POTENTIAL-

And Cleo and Scott!! Widows alliance in 3rd Life, the three Gs in Last Life, and they were soulmate-ish in Double Life.

I CANT- I JUST-

ATTENTION PEOPLE THAT FIND THIS!

I am of the 3rd Life brainrot variety, and I DESPERATELY need ideas for stories. Like really, my mind is melting and I need ideas.

So I decided to let random strangers on the internet come up with ideas for me based on songs that I like.

And this is how’s it’s gonna go:

1. Pick out a song you want me to write something for

2. Send me a request

3. Maybe I’ll write it (some songs aren’t very write-able. heh)

4. I’ll post the story here on Tumblr

It might take, like, SEVERAL weeks for me to write something. Sorry not sorry /j

3rd life, last life, double life, maybe hermitcraft and MAYBE empires if I feel like it. Cant make any promises about empires. (also rats smp exists ig)

EVO/WATCHERS AND LISTENERS ARE VERY WELCOME BUT BE AWARE THAT I KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT CANON WATCHER LORE!

Give me ideas, I’m running out of space in my brain that isn’t 3rd life :’)

Songs that have already been made:

Blow My Brains out

This is my main Spotify playlist: