I've Been Thinking A Lot About The Relationship Between Gothic Romance, Melodrama, And Fanfiction (mostly

A Sentimental Soapbox Essay on Fandoms and Archives and Why Your Hyperfixation Matters

Offline, I'm a grad student/historian in training who studies a community that is systemically under-archived. A significant part of my day job involves helping that community craft the archive from what's "left" while coming to terms with what they've already lost. In the meantime, I'm also navigating how to write the dissertation I want to write without the sources I want/need.

Aside from providing the fodder for my gothic romance hyperfixation, fandoms are a breath of fresh air because they remind me that it only takes a few passionate people to build an archive and, eventually, a preservation ecosystem. It all starts with someone who records things, collects stuff, and accumulates niche knowledge--and then shares it with others--just for the joy of it.

Two episodes of a (now obscure) Jane Eyre BBC adaptation have been missing for years, and today an anonymous superfan/de facto JE adaptation archivist who never gave up announced that they've been found after all this time. Masters take the time to make elitist or ephemeral artforms like musicals more accessible for present and future generations' enjoyment and now several Phantoms who performed the role before I was even born are among my favorites. Stuff like this warms my heart as a fan, historian, and a human.

Don't take for granted that some institution is studying and stewarding that "thing" you care about. Universities, museums, and the internet are flawed systems and, yes, instruments of power and capitalism. They also just can't (and shouldn't) do it all. Preservation runs on informal archivists and spaceholders like @glassprism and @wheel-of-fish and @behindthemirrorofmusic and trading economies (in the case of POTO) and so many other people/spaces. It thrives on us investing in the things that bring us joy. And that investment doesn't have to be financial; it often just looks like collaborating with others for free and finding time to channel our intellects and energies toward what we love.

The things that matter to you...matter lol. Don't let *gestures wildly* all the stuff going in the world convince you otherwise. Now or somewhere down the road someone's going to be glad you cared this much.

I'm ruined.

John Cudia + Jennifer Hope Wills

2006 U.S. tour

Phantom Acting Choices That Live in My Head Rent Free (Part 3)

Final lair edition because this scene alone has permanent residence in an entire area of my brain.

When Davis Gaines and Stephen Buntrock take "this face which earned a mother's fear and loathing" up an octave. If you got the range, flaunt it I guess.

Hugh Panaro absolutely torments Raoul. Why are you waving at him from the other side of the portcullis? Why are you singing "raise up your hands to the level of your eyes" like that?!

The way Ian Jon Bourg and Kevin Gray scream "I love you."

The way Hugh Panaro whispers "I love you."

The way John Cudia fumbles "I love you. I--" in his performance with Sarah Lawrence.

Honestly there are no less than fifty Phantom I love you's that play in my head at any given moment. I'm obsessed with extra ilys.

But also Earl Carpenter saying "fuck an ily" and just dropping to his knees to offer Christine the ring again like the sad wet cat he is.

David Shannon screaming "No!" when Christine says "you deceived me."

Phantoms who lean their cheek against Christine's hair between kisses (shout out to Ben Crawford, Laird Mackintosh, and Jonathan Roxmouth, this is an underrated 2020s calling card).

Any Christine putting their hand to the Phantom's cheek during the kiss. Common West End staple, but bonus points if a Phantom reacts to it (Ramin, Earl, David Shannon, etc.)

When Sierra Boggess turns back to look at Erik one last time during the 25th anniversary performance and RK gives her that slight nod like, "Go ahead, it's ok." Kill me.

Lucy St. Louis staring down Killian Donnelly's Phantom through the portcullis while she (supposedly) sings "share each day with me" to another man.

Not sure if I'm allowed to do this (so someone tell me if I need to trash this post) but I just can't witness this Anthony Warlow near-hand touch and not do something about it.

GIANMARCO SAURINO as  PROCURATORE FOURNEAU on "The Law According to Lidia Poët" | Season 2

Rewatching Lindsey Ellis's review of Love Never Dies.

I honestly love this play so much. Not even because it's so bad it's good (it's really a little too boring for that). But because I used to write terrible POTO fanfiction when I was like... 8? And at least half my terrible ideas somehow made it into this way-past-its-prime fanservicey sequel.

"Erik has a son" is a complete nonsense pandering idea that undoes the character arcs of the first play's ending. And now people have to argue in the affirmative why it's not canon. It taught me that "real artists" plagiarize fans, and that nothing is too stupid to be made. And that's honestly the best gift I've ever been given.

It's why I'm so confident about "Slippin Kimmy". Love Never Dies taught me to stop worrying if I'm good enough and embrace this affectionate cynicism about art and the entertainment industry.

God give me courage to show you, you are not alone...

Killian Donnelly and Lucy St Louis as The Phantom and Christine

For @meilas

@lasagnatrades master

All final Broadway Phantoms, the kiss.

I know the world is a cruel place because Peter Karrie and Anthony Warlow are among the best to ever play the Phantom and yet there's only like 2.5 near-complete boots between them.