Any advice on artists who want to consider making comics? Or general advice on how you do expressions and canvas composition?
All of my advice is trash because I’m still SUPER inexperienced in the comics making department but general comic making tips:
• Read lots of comics. Watch lots of movies. Read lots of stories.
• Have an idea of where you’re going with your story before you get into the heavy duty work of making the comic. Trust me. You’ll be glad you had a direction to go in, instead of wasting your entire pilot episode like I did.
• TRY to keep the cast small and give good character introductions before adding new characters. (I didn’t do this. My story has suffered for it.)
• Make ref sheets for your characters. Bare minimum, if you don’t want to draw new sheets entirely, compile a collage of all the existing images you already use as ref for each character.
• Save your color palettes for each character.
• Draw your KEY panels first. Filler can be done last. Working linearly might cause your art to deteriorate as the page/episode progresses, so get those bigger impact panels done first, and smaller/less impactful panels done last.
Expressions?
• Mirror. Selfies. Etc. When idk how an open mouth looks from a certain angle, I’ll use my own face as reference. It’s fool proof.
• Use OBSCENE amounts of reference. YouTubers. Actors in movies. Etc.
• Appreciate the Art of Subtlety. Not every expression has to be big, dynamic, and bold. Practice working in both extremes. Soft, gentle expressions can be just as good storytellers as bold, extreme expressions.
Canvas composition?
• WOOF IDK IM STILL SUPER BAD AT THIS LOL
1) Find inspiration photos - create a folder on your desktop or browser and fill it with inspiration photos for your WIP. You can search for photos on Google Image Search or photo sites like Pixabay and Pexels.
2) Make a playlist - music can be very inspiring when you’re writing or planning a story, so try making a playlist for your WIP. You can do Google searches for things like “songs about love” or “songs about war” if you want songs that fit a specific theme. You can also look through the music you own and see if anything reminds you of your story.
3) Make aesthetics or mood boards - aesthetics and mood boards are photo collages that you make for your story. They can be general, for your whole story, for characters, for the setting, or even for a particular scene or event. Aesthetics are fun to make and can be very inspirational when you’re writing.
4) Draw a map or make a layout - try making a map of wherever your story takes place, whether that’s a town, kingdom, or a whole country or world. You can even draw layouts of things like high schools, houses, or other buildings in your story. Not only are they fun to do, but it can be a helpful tool for visualizing your setting, and sometimes it can lead to ideas about scenes or plot points.
5) Do a character interview - imagine that you’ve pulled your character out of a story into the room and now have the opportunity to interview them. What questions would you ask them? What do you want to know about them that you don’t already know? What do you think the reader would want to know? What might be pertinent to the story that you haven’t thought about yet?
6) Do a TV Crew follow around - no matter when or where your story takes place, imagine that you’ve dropped an invisible TV crew into your story’s world to follow your character around through an average day. Follow them from the moment they wake up until the moment they go to bed that night. What are they like when they wake up? What is their morning routine? What do they eat for breakfast? How do they get ready? What do they do throughout the day? Who do they interact with? What else do they eat and drink? What do they do for fun or relaxation? How to they make money or meet their basic needs? What is their bedtime routine like?
7) Try a writing tool - there are all kinds of interesting writing tools out there, both online and things, apps, and physical things. Story Cubes, plot generators, plot twist generators, the Storymatic, StoryForge, Story Dice, tarot cards, the Writer’s Toolbox… just to name a few!
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Have a question? My inbox is always open, but make sure to check my FAQ and post master lists first to see if I’ve already answered a similar question. :)
Intro
Hey guys! Today I’m going to be talking about how I outline and build my characters. I used to be so uninspired when I was building characters, because to me it just felt like I was filling in blanks, and I couldn’t really connect to the character. So I just decided to take a bare-bones character profile (specifically Reedsy’s, which I highly recommend) and cut and add things as I saw fit. I want to stress that it’s in no way comprehensive–in fact, I’m always adding new things–but it does cover quite a bit, and so far, it’s worked well for me!
1. Identity and appearance
This section involves all the fundamental parts of a character. First, I begin with names: the character’s name in English (or in another language, if applicable) and their nickname(s). Then, I go through all the details of birth, location, age, etc. etc. Next, I dive into nationality and heritage, the languages the character understands, and their gender and pronouns (I know there’s a difference between the two, I just group them together because it’s easier to keep track of). Finally, I go into all the statistics of appearance and health, along with a description of what they look like in the text!
2. Personality and psychology
In the second section of my character profile, I nail down the basic personality and psychology of the character. “General” includes their normal temperament, preferences, moral compass, and more. The second subsection delves into “plot-significant” elements of the character’s mind, such as the heart’s desire, weaknesses, insecurities, and fears. “Classifications,” the third subsection, is just about categorizations like zodiac signs and personality types. Last is a list of miscellaneous “favorites” of the character. I pay a lot of attention to the first two parts of this section, as they are essential for me to figure out the story!
3. Communication and mannerisms
Next, I delve into the communications and mannerisms of the character, whether that’s vocal, physical, or emotional. Most of this is pretty self-explanatory, so I’ll just elaborate on a few. A swear word can tell you a lot about a character, surprisingly enough–whether it’s religious or not, whether the character whispers it or yells it, etc.
Under the “physical” subsection, “gestures” refers to the level of gesturing that a character does, as well as what kind of gestures they make–e.g. big and sweeping gestures, or small and confined ones? In the “emotions” subsection, "humor” refers to what the character finds funny, e.g. dark humor. “Smile” refers to what the character’s smile looks like, which can be very telling. For example, do they have a close-lipped smile or a wide, toothy grin? Do they have both but show one of them more often, and if so, why?
4. Social media and related
Here, I decide what social media platforms the character would use if they had them, and if so, what type of content they would post. This is a fun character exercise and it can be taken further by actually creating social media profiles for your characters on certain websites!
I also make a miniature playlist of what songs I think they would listen to, specifically songs that would be on their all-time most played Spotify playlist. Making playlists is one of my favorite ways to flesh out characters!
5. Backstory
Probably the most important part of the profile plot-wise, “Backstory” covers the entire background of a character–their childhood, memories, aspirations, abstract details, and everything to do with the past and what their life and mind was like prior to the story. Under “Description,” I simply write out a longer summary of the character’s backstory.
6. Family
Here, I just build the character’s family, noting their names, ages, birth/death, history, their relationship with the character, etc. This is pretty self-explanatory. After going into immediate family, I mention extended family. Both can reveal insights into the character–are they closer to one side of their family than to the other? Why? Is there any conflict that may be shown between the character and their family in the story?
7. Relationships
This section is all about relationships; familial, platonic or romantic. This helps me figure out the dynamics between characters. I also include a “Perception” section, which allows me to view the character from multiple angles. If this character is involved in romance, I note what qualities they want in a relationship or in their ideal partner(s).
8. Story elements
Finally, I figure out the current situation of the character: where are they right now and where do they want to be? What’s their goal? What motivates them? These questions let me build a plot. Lastly, I plan out their character arc–how they change and develop during the course of the story.
None of these are required, but if you’re still debating the purpose of a character or want to add a new one— here are some archetypes to consider that can strength your theme and the story you are trying to tell! There will be a part two as the list continues!
It can also be a really neat exercise to dissect your favorite books to see which archetypes appear in there! The Hero might be easy to pinpoint, but a character archetype like The Guardian might be harder to find.
The main protagonist, the focus of the story. The person we follow as they adventure out into the unknown and learn new things, meet new people. It’s vital that this character develops on their journey and the audience should want the hero to achieve their goals.
This is Katniss Everdeen, Harry Potter, Neo from the Matrix.
The mentor teaches the hero important skills that they will need to survive on their adventure and in the new world they’re emerging into. Typically, the mentor is very prominent in the early stages of the book, but will fade away as the plot progresses and the hero becomes adept and ready to take on their own obstacles.
There can be multiple mentors for different stages of the characters journey, but I would put a limit on it. For example, Hagrid leads Harry into the wizarding world and introduces him to the basics of being a wizard, but Dumbledore is the one who mainly councils Harry throughout the story.
This is Haymitch and Cena, Dumbledore and Hagrid, Morpheus.
The trustful friend of the hero, one who listens and supports them. They can be used as an outlet for your character to share plans, thoughts and secrets to— thus revealing them to the audience at the same time.
The ally can be really strong as an opposite of your hero. If your hero is impulsive, the ally could be cautious and tentative. Or if your hero is reserved, the ally could be bold and loud. This can be great for balancing the story as both characters make up for the others shortcomings. There can be more than one ally.
This is Peeta and Rue, Ron and Hermione, Trinity.
Typically the innocent is a child, but regardless of their age, they see the world as rainbow and sunshine. Something occurs that will change their perspective and as they go throughout the story, they learn lessons and are forced to do some growing up.
This is Hermione, this is Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz.
This one is really interesting that I just discovered by reading the source article for this post. The Herald is the person who brings the invitation into the new world or the threat that rockets the hero out of their everyday live and into the adventure.
The Herald doesn’t have to be a character, but can be a physical letter or form of message. If the herald is a character, they usually never appear in the story again— UNLESS, they fill one of the other rolls.
This is Effie Trinkett who officially brings the Reaping to District 12 and pulls the names from the bowl, this is Hagrid who tells Harry Potter that he is a wizard and Trinity who introduces the Matrix to Neo.
The character who will not settle for how things are, who wants a change and will make it happen. They have an immense sense for justice but this doesn’t make them a hero/good guy all the time, sometimes they can be an anti-hero and do bad things in order to achieve justice.
This is Han Solo in Star Wars, this is Katniss, this is Robin Hood.
The trickster can bring comedic value to the story and lighten the mood, while at the same time bringing light to serious issues. They will make you laugh but also raise very significant and important questions.
This is Haymitch who makes us laugh but also shows us a dark side of winning the Hunger Games. This is Hagrid who represents the prejudice against half-bloods, while also offering comedic relief along the story.
The shapeshifter has a few different routes you can take. But ultimately, they betray the hero at one point or another.
• An ally who is revealed to be a secret betrayer— but wait! In the hero’s time of need, this shapeshifter ends up helping the hero— sometimes resulting in their own downfall or death.
• An ally who outright betrays the hero.
• An antagonistic force who helps the hero in the end.
This is Seneca Crane who is an antagonistic force against Katniss but also allows for her and Peeta to win the games— resulting in his death. This is professor Snape who is falsely portrayed as a villain, but has secretly been aiding Harry through the story. This is Cypher who outright betrays Neo and the group, having pretended to be an ally for the majority of the movie.
Not the main antagonist, but a huge obstacle in the way of the hero’s goal. The hero must get past the guardian in order to get closer their goal. The guardian does not have to be a character, but can be creatures or physical obstacles.
This is the modified beasts who Katniss most overcome before her interaction with Cato, this is Harry Potter’s uncle who is always trying to sabotage Harry’s connecting to the wizarding world.
The main opponent of the hero, the antagonist. The Shadow tries stopping the hero from achieving their goals in many different ways. The antagonistic force typically does not lighten up or give mercy to the hero.
This is Snow, this is Voldemort, this is Agent Smith.
Part 2 with more character archetypes — Coming Soon.
Instagram: coffeebeanwriting
📖 ☕ Official Blog: www.byzoemay.com
This is the source used while writing this little article! Very helpful and provides more examples than I listed above. :)
academy
adventurer's guild
alchemist
apiary
apothecary
aquarium
armory
art gallery
bakery
bank
barber
barracks
bathhouse
blacksmith
boathouse
book store
bookbinder
botanical garden
brothel
butcher
carpenter
cartographer
casino
castle
cobbler
coffee shop
council chamber
court house
crypt for the noble family
dentist
distillery
docks
dovecot
dyer
embassy
farmer's market
fighting pit
fishmonger
fortune teller
gallows
gatehouse
general store
graveyard
greenhouses
guard post
guildhall
gymnasium
haberdashery
haunted house
hedge maze
herbalist
hospice
hospital
house for sale
inn
jail
jeweller
kindergarten
leatherworker
library
locksmith
mail courier
manor house
market
mayor's house
monastery
morgue
museum
music shop
observatory
orchard
orphanage
outhouse
paper maker
pawnshop
pet shop
potion shop
potter
printmaker
quest board
residence
restricted zone
sawmill
school
scribe
sewer entrance
sheriff's office
shrine
silversmith
spa
speakeasy
spice merchant
sports stadium
stables
street market
tailor
tannery
tavern
tax collector
tea house
temple
textile shop
theatre
thieves guild
thrift store
tinker's workshop
town crier post
town square
townhall
toy store
trinket shop
warehouse
watchtower
water mill
weaver
well
windmill
wishing well
wizard tower
I'm sorry if I'm bothering you, but I started to work on a comic, and as you are making a comic yourself, I was wondering if you could give any comic making tips? (Again, sorry if I'm being bothersome-)
You are not bothering me! I am willing to give you some advice on making a comic!
Here's some personal tips I have that might come in handy;
Type of comic style : there are multiple type of comics styles from clattering boxes to scrolling boxes, it depends on your viewers and how you place them. Let me give you an example;
Clattering boxes is when you create comic boxes in certain orders. Most readers go from Left to Right when reading so be sure to make it obvious on where the story is going, don't add too many boxes because you need space for speech bubbles. (Example, Cigar and News);
As you can see from the red arrows, readers focus from the left to right(unless it's a manga/Japanese comic then it's right to left) so focus on how it flows from the boxes. I suggest have small boxes for simple scenes and big spaces/big boxes for a heavy scene(heavy dialogue, important action, etc)
You can see online comics as examples from how they place their boxes.
The only flaw here is when placing dialogue, so it's best to Sketch the speech bubbles first and see if it fits or not.
Do not make too much boxes!! Make space for dialogue and action!! you'll end up covering your characters/scenes with speech bubbles.
Scrolling Boxes is mostly found to comics that you view through your phone, let's take Webtoon and an example. A lot of Webtoon comics don't clatter their boxes beside each other, they place their boxes under each other with some space. (Example, Crisis AU)
Readers can simply scroll down to follow the story line, I personally find this easier to make dialogue and not have difficulty on forcing boxes together.
I used to have a Webtoon and made a short-lived comic series by using the Scrolling box style. This can be helpful to readers who have trouble following dialogue and easier to read while scrolling(mobile and website)
Make space!! It is important to create space between the boxes to put dialogue and tension!!
Dialogue : it is the important to type out dialogue to avoid spelling mistakes and/or grammar mistakes. It is common to accidentally write misleading dialogue that avoids the main topic of the story, so please write it down on a word document and see if it fits your planned comic or not.
I suggest reading fanfiction, books, an/or poetry to spice up your dialogues. Using metaphors makes a character sound unique and smart, not only that, it brings tension as well;
"Don't make me angry" sounds bland right? Not threatening enough. let's spice it up!
"You either run away or face the consequences"
Or
"I have the ability to make your life a living hell, so I beg of you to make the right decision, or else..."
Sure, these are too many words but that's the point of tension and character! Have you seen any dramas? There's a lot of dialogue out into and they want to make sure that viewers get enough information from the situation and what the character is all about.
(Example, All Time Low)
You see this? This isn't dialogue but a poetic description of the situation. It is important to read some books that uses clever poetry/metaphors to explain the situation with style!
And this, (Example, Cigar and News)
"I thought I was simply poking a dead horse but turns out that horse came out alive"
A play of words in a common metaphor, if you know how metaphors works then you can play some words to describe something with such fashion.
"It's raining cats and dogs" popular right? What about this;
"It feels like the sky's tears had turned into small pebbles"
Play with words! Explain the situation! Give your dialogue some style depending on the character!
Do make sure to separate some sentences to give them space, we can't have a huge speech bubble cover half of the picture, right?
Storytelling : a bit similar to the dialogue part but this is really important to any type of story you are working on. Since most comics don't have narratives(aside from introductions and the mind of the protagonist), you have to tell the story through scene and action.
Read any stories that tell you a precise description of their surrounding?draw it. it doesn't have to be big, make multiple scenes and don't get too carried away when it comes to background.
You want to express it through different ways, from body language to the atmosphere itself. You can easily explain a scenery by color schemes or the way it looks, for example; a sad scene, make it dark and cold. A happy one, colorful. Angry scene, warm and a mix of dark.
You can easily search up references online!
And please script things! its important if you want things to flow smoothly in your story. Not only that, sketch out your comic first and see if it looks good! Too many boxes? Let's move them! The character seems odd? Let's change it! Experiment and see the results.
Body language and Expression : this is by far important if you want your characters to look astonishing. Body language and Expression says more than words, you see, having a character with an open mouth stand straight for multiple boxes is... unsatisfying.
Body language is key! crossed arms, hands on their hips, clasped hands, tilted head and so on!
It's awkward when you have to stand still, we always change body language!
Now, for expressions, it's a powerful thing. this depends on your art style and I assure you; it works on any art style.
But the way you express it is important.
Is your character awkward? Nervous smiling. Are they emotional? Show some teeth and furrow their eyebrows. Are they happy? Happy smiles and shut eyes!
The way you draw expressions are up to you but remember that character expressions are important.
These can spice up your story and make your characters look interesting!
Character References and clothing : this should be obvious but you gotta make sure that your characters are easy to differentiate with. Not only that, it's so you don't miss any important detail such as a tattoo or a piercing on their left ear.
And do make a precise color pallet for them, don't mix up dark blue with dark green. Believe me, I've made that mistake.
And clothing!!! I'm a total fashion nerd and I absolutely love different types of clothing styles. Sketch your characters in different attires, go crazy with coloring! Go absolutely bonkers with clothing choices!look up those clothing sets and draw them in cute outfits!
A lot of people do these so they can experiment and have fun~
Enjoy and be inspired : this is important to creators out there who want to share their work. Do this for yourself, don't let others force you to change. You're doing something that you inspired yourself into, this is your work that people look up to!
Do not closet yourself out of other comics, you are as special as other comic makers in the goddamn website.
Feel inspired by other works from stories to dramas and to other comics!
You can do it! stay strong! You have our support!
I remember you had a post on your old blog, about how to fall in love with your story again. Do you think you still have it around somewhere, WQA? That post had some life-saving advice that could come handy for someone!
Oh! I didn’t realize I never re-posted it here, so thank you! Here it is, plus a couple links to newer, similar posts with more ideas. I hope this helps!
1) Cast your characters, or if you’re artistic, try drawing them. If you’ve got Photoshop skills, try making a movie-style poster for your story.
2) Create a tumblr gallery filled with images that inspire you where your story is concerned. These could be images of things in your story, things you want to include in your story, or just things that make you think of your story.
3) Make a playlist of songs to serve as a soundtrack for your story.
4) Make a list of five things you love about every character, five things you love about the plot, and five things you love about the setting.
5) Write a short essay about the important themes in your story and why they matter to you. See if similar themes run through any of your other stories.
6) Get a fun and easy going friend or sibling to play “radio show” with you. Have them interview you about your story as though you were an author talking about their novel on a radio show. Try to be serious about it for as long as you can–which won’t be long because it’s super cheesy but lots of fun.
7) Try to write a poem about the plot of your story as though your protagonist was the one writing it.
8) Draw maps and floor plans of your setting and sets. Go window shopping online to look for furniture and props to fill your character’s home with.
9) Make a Wordle using words from your story.
10) Read your story out loud as if you were reading it to a group of fans. Try to imagine their reactions at different points in the story. When would their attention be the most rapt? When would they smile? When would they sniffle? When would they cheer?
Feeling Unmotivated with WIP Getting Unstuck: Motivation Beyond Mood Boards & Playlists
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Have a question? My inbox is always open, but make sure to check my FAQ and post master lists first to see if I’ve already answered a similar question. :)
Character death is sad, but it also has huge consequences on your plot that can’t be reversed. Not to mention, depending on your genre, character deaths are often reserved for later in the series as a way of telling the reader that things are getting serious.
So, until that moment, here’s a quick list of things you can do to tug at your readers emotions:
1.- Destruction of an item of value. For this to work you’re going to have to set this up early on, it could be a childhood toy they need to sleep at night, a necklace they swear gives them good luck, and old family trinket or any number of things. The important thing is you show just how important it is to the character, make them happy and excited just to talk about it. Later on your character will feel loss and so will the audience.
2.- Arguing. Two characters with a strong bond arguing can be heartbreaking, even if you know the argument is going to resolve itself eventually, going from cuddles and banter to cold looks and the silent treatment, can easily hurt the audience just as much as the characters.
3.- Betrayal. When well done, it’s worst than character death. When you as a reader fall head over heels in love with a character, only for them to betray the rest, it’s heartbreaking, especially if when you read back the foreshadowing was there. It was so obvious yet you were all so blind! As blind as the other characters. Also, unlike character death, they’re still there, there to taunt you with their mere existence.
4.- Failure. We have probably all felt that emptiness, that feeling as the world crumbles around us, haplessness, when we failed an exam in school or just couldn’t get the house clean in time for that visit. Take that feeling and reflect it into your characters, it doesn’t have to be an exam, it can be anything, a task they’re parents asked them to do and they tried their best, a mission, anything. Just let them fail and feel the world crumble.
5.- Being forced to stay behind. Following from point four, if a character is not good enough they can be left behind, perhaps it comes from a place of love, an attempt to protect them from enemies too strong, yet it still hurts. Perhaps they haven’t failed, perhaps they are left behind for another reason, because they are “too valuable”, or because they’ll be more useful back home. Either way, watching those close to you go of to fight for what you believe in, without you, can be painful.
6.- Finding out something they believed in was a lie. It can be something relatively insignificant, an assumption they never bothered to question. Or something world shattering. Allow me to offer up an example with an unimportant spoiler from my second book (it’s not even out yet but oh well): in this book, while talking about some law, Henry realises his daughter believes he and her mother were married. This is an assumption Itazu made and never questioned. It affects nothing, nothing changes, yet finding out her mother and her father were not the happy married couple she’d always pictured, it’s painful.
This could also be something huge, finding out you’re adopted for example.
7.- History. Oh, history, how depressing it can be. And if you have a fantasy world you have many opportunities to go into this. From slaughters to slavery, finding out how society got to where it is, the base on which it is built. Well, it’s pretty depressing. Obviously be careful how much inspiration you take from real world history and always be respectful and do your research!
8.- Scarring. An injury can be painful, it can be scary. And depending on what caused it, leave you with traumatising memories. Now add to that a physical visible reminder on your skin you can never remove. Well, that can be pretty horrible. Imagine the scar came from a battle the protagonist longs to forget, but can’t because every night before going to sleep they can’t help but glance at their arm where the nasty scars forever lies.
As usual, check out my book, stories I’ve written plus other social medias: here.
This another post I could probably do a part two on someday. Can you think of any books where any of these are done effectively? Do any of these happen in your owns book? Please tell me! I love hearing from you all.
E.A. Deverell - FREE worksheets (characters, world building, narrator, etc.) and paid courses;
Hiveword - Helps to research any topic to write about (has other resources, too);
BetaBooks - Share your draft with your beta reader (can be more than one), and see where they stopped reading, their comments, etc.;
Charlotte Dillon - Research links;
Writing realistic injuries - The title is pretty self-explanatory: while writing about an injury, take a look at this useful website;
One Stop for Writers - You guys... this website has literally everything we need: a) Description thesaurus collection, b) Character builder, c) Story maps, d) Scene maps & timelines, e) World building surveys, f) Worksheets, f) Tutorials, and much more! Although it has a paid plan ($90/year | $50/6 months | $9/month), you can still get a 2-week FREE trial;
One Stop for Writers Roadmap - It has many tips for you, divided into three different topics: a) How to plan a story, b) How to write a story, c) How to revise a story. The best thing about this? It's FREE!
Story Structure Database - The Story Structure Database is an archive of books and movies, recording all their major plot points;
National Centre for Writing - FREE worksheets and writing courses. Has also paid courses;
Penguin Random House - Has some writing contests and great opportunities;
Crime Reads - Get inspired before writing a crime scene;
The Creative Academy for Writers - "Writers helping writers along every step of the path to publication." It's FREE and has ZOOM writing rooms;
Reedsy - "A trusted place to learn how to successfully publish your book" It has many tips, and tools (generators), contests, prompts lists, etc. FREE;
QueryTracker - Find agents for your books (personally, I've never used this before, but I thought I should feature it here);
Pacemaker - Track your goals (example: Write 50K words - then, everytime you write, you track the number of the words, and it will make a graphic for you with your progress). It's FREE but has a paid plan;
Save the Cat! - The blog of the most known storytelling method. You can find posts, sheets, a software (student discount - 70%), and other things;
I hope this is helpful for you!
(Also, check my blog if you want to!)
(@urfriendlywriter | req by @rbsstuff @yourlocalmerchgirl anyone under the appropriate age, please proceed with caution :') hope this helps guys! )
writing smut depends on each person's writing style but i think there's something so gut-wrenchingly beautiful about smut when it's not very graphic and vivid. like., would this turn on a reader more?
"he kissed her, pulling her body closer to him."
or this?
"His lips felt so familiar it hurt her heart. His breathing had become more strained; his muscles tensed. She let herself sink into his embrace as his hands flattened against her spine. He drew her closer."
(Before proceeding further, these are all "in my opinion" what I think would make it better. Apply parts of the advice you like and neglect the aspects you do not agree with it. Once again I'm not saying you have to follow a certain type of style to write smut! Creative freedom exists for a reason!)
One may like either the top or the bottom one better, but it totally depends on your writing to make it work. Neither is bad, but the second example is more flattering, talking literally.
express one's sensory feelings, and the readers will automatically know what's happening.
writing, "her walls clenched against him, her breath hitching with his every thrust" is better than writing, "she was about to cum".
here are some vocabulary you can introduce in your writing:
whimpered, whispered, breathed lightly, stuttered, groaned, grunted, yearned, whined, ached, clenched, coaxed, cried out, heaved, hissed
shivering, shuddering, curling up against one's body, squirming, squirting, touching, teasing, taunting, guiding, kneeling, begging, pining, pinching, grinding,
swallowing, panting, sucking in a sharp breath, thrusting, moving gently, gripped, biting, quivering,
nibbling, tugging, pressing, licking, flicking, sucking, panting, gritting, exhaling in short breaths,
wet kisses, brushing soft kisses across their body (yk where), licking, sucking, teasing, tracing, tickling, bucking hips, forcing one on their knees
holding hips, guiding the one on top, moving aimlessly, mindlessly, sounds they make turn insanely beautiful, sinful to listen to
some adverbs to use: desperately, hurriedly, knowingly, teasingly, tauntingly, aimlessly, shamelessly, breathlessly, passionately, delicately, hungrily
he sighed with pleasure
her skin flushed
he shuddered when her body moved against his
he planted kisses along her jawline
her lips turned red, messy, kissed and flushed.
his hands were on his hair, pulling him.
light touches traveled down his back
words were coiled at his throat, coming out as broken sobs, wanting more
he arched his back, his breath quivering
her legs parted, sinking into the other's body, encircling around their waist.
+ mention the position, how they're being moved around---are they face down, kneeling, or standing, or on top or on bottom--it's really helpful to give a clear picture.
+ use lustful talk, slow seduction, teasing touches, erratic breathing, give the readers all while also giving them nothing. make them yearn but DO NOT PROLONG IT.
sources to refer to for more: (will be updated soon!)
Absent: preoccupied
Agonized: as if in pain or tormented
Alluring: attractive, in the sense of arousing desire
Appealing: attractive, in the sense of encouraging goodwill and/or interest
Beatific: blissful
Black: angry or sad, or hostile
Bleak: hopeless
Blinking: surprise, or lack of concern
Blithe: carefree, lighthearted, or heedlessly indifferent
Brooding: anxious and gloomy
Bug eyed: frightened or surprised
Chagrined: humiliated or disappointed
Cheeky: cocky, insolent
Cheerless: sad
Choleric: hot-tempered, irate
Darkly: with depressed or malevolent feelings
Deadpan: expressionless, to conceal emotion or heighten humor
Despondent: depressed or discouraged
Doleful: sad or afflicted
Dour: stern or obstinate
Dreamy: distracted by daydreaming or fantasizing
Ecstatic: delighted or entranced
Faint: cowardly, weak, or barely perceptible
Fixed: concentrated or immobile
Gazing: staring intently
Glancing: staring briefly as if curious but evasive
Glazed: expressionless due to fatigue or confusion
Grim: fatalistic or pessimistic
Grave: serious, expressing emotion due to loss or sadness
Haunted: frightened, worried, or guilty
Hopeless: depressed by a lack of encouragement or optimism
Hostile: aggressively angry, intimidating, or resistant
Hunted: tense as if worried about pursuit
Jeering: insulting or mocking
Languid: lazy or weak
Leering: sexually suggestive
Mild: easygoing
Mischievous: annoyingly or maliciously playful
Pained: affected with discomfort or pain
Peering: with curiosity or suspicion
Peeved: annoyed
Pleading: seeking apology or assistance
Quizzical: questioning or confused
Radiant: bright, happy
Sanguine: bloodthirsty, confident
Sardonic: mocking
Sour: unpleasant
Sullen: resentful
Vacant: blank or stupid looking
Wan: pale, sickly
Wary: cautious or cunning
Wide eyed: frightened or surprised
Withering: devastating
Wrathful: indignant or vengeful
Wry: twisted or crooked to express cleverness or a dark or ironic feeling