What You Need To Understand About Recommending A Show To Me Is That No Matter How Much We Both Know I'll

yaehh

So Jaskier, completely shitfaced, is sitting somewhere on the dirty floor near a tavern in Oxenfurt, when he meets Vesemir for the first time.

He instantly recognizes the old witcher and loudly calls him over, something along the lines of "Hey! Hey you- you, wolf! Papa wolf! Yeah, come on, I need to have a word with you about your son. The- the stupid one-"

Vesemir is obviously not amused, but he comes over nonetheless because for some reason that drunk kid knows him.

Then, Jaskier proceeds to ramble on about Geralt and it gets very close to trash talk, but Vesemir keeps his cool and reads in between the lines. What he finds out is this: Geralt - who up to this point had been his favorite - had somehow managed to break this poor kid's heart, not once, not twice but "at least five times". Said kid had apparently "spent more than half of his life" following his son like a lost puppy. He mumbles something about elves and djinns and then tells this elaborate tale of a golden dragon. "And then he left me on a fucking mountain!" Vesemir for his part would have not believed any of this, if the name Yennefer hadn't fallen. Many of the unreasonable things Geralt does are related to Yennefer.

The old witcher then takes a closer look at the sod on the floor and oh yes, didn't Geralt say something about a bard?

Then suddenly the kid stops mid sentence as if remembering something important. He waves at one of the other young men and loudly asks "Oi Mikael, is there- is there class tomorrow!?" Vesemir doesn't show it but he's kind of shocked. The drunk kid is clearly a student at the Academy, way too young to be traveling with a witcher. What ln earth is Geralt thinking?!

When the other man, for some reason looking as shocked as Vesemir feels, answers the kid's question with "yes", the bardling seems to sober up by a lot. He staggers up, wishes Vesemir a good night and starts to stumble towards Oxenfurt Academy, quickly followed by the other student.

The last thing Vesemir hears before they walk out of side is how the student asks the bard "Does that mean we won't have to write that test tomorrow, professor?"

Professor. Vesemir needs a break.

your mom

ok guys. lets make a normal sandwich that is normal and not diseasious

i will start

bread

No I don’t care about the new Velma series, but all these Scooby Doo posts have highlighted a deficiency in every Scooby Doo prequel idea. Yes, I’ve seen some amazing ideas for BFF Daphne and Shaggy content…  … but none for the untapped character goldmine of Freddie and Velma. 

Like just picture it. The series is set in a American private school, where Velma is a POC scholarship kid, always looking to prove herself. She’s bullied relentlessly, but keeps her head down, because she’s getting into the Ivy League, damn it, and there’s no way these assholes are stopping her. She’s a whizz at anything to do with science and math and history and geography, but arts are a bit of a weakness, and she needs one more English credit to max out her resume. Her teacher offers her the opportunity to tutor another student to get the credit. The catch is it’s Fred Jones, the Dean’s son, and no-one can possibly find out.  Velma’s initially pissed at having to spend so much time with this entitled brat. On the surface Fred Jones is everything you’d imagine him to be - a jock, a bro, loved by the ladies and part of the group that have always made Velma’s life hell. She dreads having to tutor him, until he turns up, and he’s genuinely appreciative and sweet. She doesn’t trust him; she’s been burned too many times before. But through the sessions they get to know each other better. They bond over their mutual love of engineering - Fred doesn’t have the technological vocabulary that Velma does, but he’s got an instinctive eye for when a mechanism would fail - and they both realise the other had more depths than they expected. Velma notices the bullies leave her alone now, and though she can’t thank Fred publicly, they share a few subtle smiles in the hallway.  And then the plot of the series happens - a girl gets kidnapped from their school, and Velma’s on the case. She cancels her tutoring with Fred to sneak into the school to investigate. They run into hypercapable badass Daphne Blake and her emotional support Shaggy. Velma’s had a crush on Daphne for as long as she can remember, but her nerves make her even more snarky than usual, and the two spend most of their time bickering. Velma, Daphne and Shaggy also run into Fred in the school while they’re investigating; he left some sports stuff behind and came to retrieve it. Plot plot plot, meddling kids, mystery solved. Velma thinks everything’s going back to normal, but it doesn’t. Shaggy saved her a seat at lunch, and fills her tray with stuff he thinks she’ll enjoy (”And hey, you can sneak some of this in your pockets for when you’re at the library later!”) Daphne picks her first for her team in gym class. Fred tells his shitty mates to get fucked, and sits next to Velma in every class. And best of all, they start solving local mysteries together.  As they become better friends, they learn more and more about each other. Fred tells Velma if she struggles with making eye contact with people to look at the bridge of their nose or over their shoulder, because that looks like you’re looking them in the eye without actually doing it. Velma tells Fred that “the writing swimming when you read” is called dyslexia, and types up their study notes in a easy to read font. Fred is the first friend Velma ever brings back to her tiny apartment than she shares with her parents, and he’s very appreciative of their home despite living in a straight up mansion himself. Velma learns that that mansion life isn’t all its cracked up to be. His parents work away a lot, and when they’re around, they’re shitty and waspy and make Fred feel small. Fred always texts Velma late at night telling her to stop studying and get some sleep, Velma always texts Fred to tell him to stop working out and get a snack. They’re fucking good for each other.   It’s never romantic between them - never even close. Fred takes Velma’s coming out better than her parents did (”Why would I be upset that you like girls? Liking girls is great! I do it all the time!”) Velma tries her hardest not to be jealous when Fred and Daphne start dating - she never told him about her crush, and he’s not a mind reader. Who cares if she notices there’s chemistry between her and Daphne? She’s probably misreading the social cues, like usual. Besides, school’s nearly over now, and she’ll be off to college in a matter of weeks. Leaving it all behind her, just as she planned.  Their final mystery is the biggest yet, and the only time the gang actually fear for their lives. The stress of the mystery, and the building resentment of Velma’s “I’m out of here” energy leads to a huge argument between Fred and Velma, and the gang splits four ways to try and solve this thing. Each of them face their own trial. Shaggy has to face his fear instead of running away. Daphne has to be herself without overcompensation with gadgets or gimmicks. She realises in this process that Velma is the one she’s always loved, and the two share a sincere kiss. Fred has to trust himself, and succeed by himself without the safety net of his family, his wealth or Velma. And Velma has to admit she needs her friends, and that she loves them deeply. The mystery is solved, and just like that, they’re all set to go their separate ways, this time for real.  It’s the last day of finals. Velma hasn’t heard from Fred for almost a week now; her texts go unanswered. She knows he’s taking breaking up with Daphne harder than he’s letting on, though he’s happy Velma and Daphne are happy. She finishes her final paper and hands it in, thoughts of college in her mind as she stands on the school steps where it all began.  A horn honks behind her. She turns. There’s a massive eyesore of a van parked outside. Velma didn’t even know you could get that many shades of neon green and blue, and the little orange flowers are wonky and she knows they’ve been painted by hand and with love. Daphne waves at her from the passenger’s seat, and Shaggy from the back. Fred is leaning against the Mystery Machine, twirling his keys in his hand. He’d traded the sleek, smart car his dad bought him and that he’s been driving all show for this new ride, and he asks if Velma feels like solving a mystery or two before heading off to college.  Thus begins the adventures of Mystery Incorporated.  (End credits song is “Life is a Highway” by Rascall Flatts because you know that’s white boy Freddie Jones’ favourite driving song) 

Does anybody remember when Lassie was like “me and Marlowe met the perfect person for you” and Jules was like “that would mean she’s a woman and in prison” (cause Marlowe was in jail still) and Lassie was like “which one of those is a problem” ???

I think about that a lot

I was just thinking what if Twilight au with Bella as the vampire matriarch of The Olympic Coven??

Bella is turned, she has incredible control and refuses to feed on humans which catches the attention of Aro

She lives with the Volturi for a time and develops her shield abilities and pours over their libraries learning everything she can about her kinds history.

Alice is changed and wakes up with no memories but dreams a mystery man who is her soulmate and a girl who will be her best friend.

Bella grows unhappy with the way the Volturi treat humans and she leaves and lives alone until Alice and Jasper join her.

Some years later Bella meets human Emmett and grows fond of the joke cracking, family loving young man he is but stays distant since he is a human and knowing humans is dangerous.

While out hunting she hears Emmett being attacked by a bear.

She’s too late to save him with human medicine though and she turns him

3 years later Emmett becomes infatuated with a human Rosalie but he knows that it’s dangerous for a human to know about vampires so he just watches her from afar.

Rosalie is attacked by Royce and Emmett carries her bloodied body back to Bella, begging her to change her.

In a brief moment of consciousness Rosalie consents and she is turned

It takes some time for Rose to trust the Swan family

She’s afraid of a twitchy Jasper and unsure of the big, loud Emmett.

But Emmett is kind and patient and he looks at her with such love in his eyes

His jokes make her laugh and when she decides to hunt down Royce he agrees to help.

They plan everything out and when it comes to the actual act Emmett stands back and let’s Rose deal out every intricate torture herself.

It’s her revenge and she should have it.

Afterwards he helps her wash Royce’s filthy blood from her hands and holds her while she grieves for everything her life could have been. 

While working as a nurse/midwife Bella treats a human Esme, she sees the abuse and worries over what will happen to this woman.

Alice shares her own concerns and they half come up with a plan to murder Esme’s husband Charles but Esme falls pregnant and the future is uncertain.

They wait.

The abuse continues and Esme loses her son.

Bella finds her at the bottom of a cliff broken and knowing how intelligent and loving and full of potential this woman is she can’t let her die.

Esme wakes up as a vampire.

Esme and Rosalie kill Charles.

Bella knows Alice saw it coming and told her sister.

Bella also knows it had to happen.

Esme and Bella are working as nurses in a local hospital when Bella meets a dying Edward.

The overwhelming pull she feels is like nothing she’s ever felt

She’s never craved human blood like this.

His blood sings for her but she knows humans and vampires don’t mix well and she doesn’t want to harm a human so she does everything she can to heal him

She’s damned but she’ll be damned again before she let’s his human life be taken away.

Edwards parents die and then Edward worsens.

Bella confides in Alice who tells her that loving Edward is her destiny, that they’re made for each other just like Rosalie and Emmett and her and Jasper.

Bella fantasises about the possible future Alice saw and in a moment of weakness she turns Edward saving his life.

Bella never imagined she’d find love, she knew she’d be alone forever but that’s all changed and maybe she can have her happy ending.

One night while wondering the streets of London Edward is drawn into a church, he hears faint choking, gasping, a racing heart and the smell of blood and vampire venom changing a human.

He find Carlisle fighting almost silently through the most painful change anyone could go through, he reads his mind and knows that this is someone worth knowing.

He know that Carlisle is afraid of him, knows a rogue vampire did this, he knows Carlisle’s father would kill his son for what he’s become so he stays to protect him and monitor his change.

Carlisle survives the change and wakes up a vampire.

It takes some convincing but Edward manages to take Carlisle to see his mate and coven leader Bella.

Upon arrival at their newest London house though they’re met first by Esme

Who was worried Edward had been gone so long and is about to tell him off when her eyes land on Carlisle

The rest is history.

Bella tells Carlisle everything he wants to know, vegetarian vampires heck yeah count me in, wow hot vampire wife who’s been waiting almost a hundred years for me heck yeah.

HECK YEAH

The End

it is so easy to fuck with geralt now that yennefer is friends with jaskier

she'll just roll her shoulders and kinda grimace and jaskier will be like "what's wrong?" and she's like "nothing, really, just kind of sore..." and he'll go to her side and offer a massage just like that and she'll sigh, thank him, then look at geralt with the smugest look on her face

geralt will just break whatever he's holding and be so confused why he's upset

and yennefer has never had more fun in her life

So late the party has left.

Ok, I’ve had this submission from @starmage2 for ever and just got around to it now.

As a heads up I’ve changed the ‘Alien invasion ’ to Gorilla Grodd invasion instead. Same general thing though.

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Paris was not a place the flash visited often or even with purpose. A city of calm and peace that was unaffected by the world’s crazies, maniacs and supervillians. There has never been a reason to be in Paris, for anyone from the league. Aside from maybe taking a superspeed shortcut or flying well above the city to make time to ones real destination.

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I was talking to my friend the other day about a dude I know, and I called him a “funky lil’ guy”. The response I recieved was somewhere along the lines of “he’s literally taller than you so you can’t say that”

My guy, you simply do not understand. Funky lil’ guys aren’t little, they’re lil. It’s purely vibe based

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