가뮤 By 然 先生@yun_ooyun

yours truly,

premise: as a friend of the most attractive students in school, you're more than used to acting as the middleman between them and the people vying for their affection, often tasked with delivering presents or handing out their love letters. however, when you chance upon a small bouquet of flowers on your desk without a note indicating the sender or who you're meant to give it to, you start to wonder if this one's supposed to be yours.

includes: childe, xiao, diluc, kazuha, albedo, thoma & gorou !

a/n: hahaha why is this so long... anyways this is a college au + reverse harem of some sorts. enjoy. i really don't want this one to flop so likes and reblogs are appreciated thx

“Do you think it's a prank?”

“Why is that the first thing that pops into your mind?” Keqing sighs as she fixes her makeup in front of a compact mirror, smacking her lips to spread the color evenly. “You're really cute, [Name]. why wouldn't someone like you by now?”

Your face burns at the offhand comment. “You're only saying that because we're friends.”

Ayaka giggles, twirling a lock of your hair with her finger. “Of course not. You're very adorable! If anything, it'd be more surprising if nobody likes you.”

“Who do you think it's from, though?” Ganyu quietly asks from beside you, observing the handful of carnations laying on your desk. Scanning the students currently present in the room, she thoughtfully adds, “maybe someone on the shyer side since they couldn't give it to you directly?”

“Or someone who did it to be romantic,” Kokomi suggests, scrutinizing the flowers with keen eyes. “That's quite nice of them.”

You hummed in contemplation, trying to figure out who placed it on your table. “Are you sure it's not a prank... or a mistake? You all sit beside me, so maybe they mistook my seat for yours-”

“You're the only one who faithfully sits there, [Name]. We don't even have assigned seats so most of us sits wherever,” Keqing clarifies, staring at you with a disapproving look. “Don't deny it. You know it's yours.”

“But I can't think of anyone who would like me!” you exclaim in defeat. “I am curious about who gave it, though... I should try to find out who it is...”

“More importantly...” Ganyu smiles at you, noticing the blush dusting your cheeks. “Who do you want it to be?”

childe:

in all honesty, he's your first guess.

not because you think he likes you or anything! he's just a huge flirt.

at the beginning of the school year, you hardly got along. you know he's a friendly guy, but it's in the way that... intimidated you. he's part of the “mood maker” clique, attracting attention wherever he goes, and you're not sure if you could handle his energy...

you preferred to stay away from the spotlight though that's a bit hypocritical considering you're friends with the prettiest group of girls in your year, and he relished in it. you didn't know if you could get along.

you didn't become friends until you were assigned partners for a project that meant a lot for your grade, and you vowed to yourself if you couldn't be close to him, you should at least be close enough to work together without trouble.

in the end, you surprisingly hit it off, childe easing the awkward air between you with jokes and random stories to tell about his weird friends. your friendship didn't end when the project did, and you continued to hang out outside of school. you're sure he didn't approach you to get closer to your friends, either; though you had some doubts at first, he was nothing alike with the jerks who tried to use you.

you're no stranger to the pranks he pulled, nor were you unaware of his flirty nature; he occasionally entertained the lot who fancied him when he attended drinking parties. so it made perfect sense if it was childe who gave those flowers, along with the gifts that followed after. it would just be him messing around again, right? oh, definitely! it wouldn't be the first time he spent his money in reckless abandon, bragging that he has the cash to spare for it.

but unexpectedly when you bring up the topic, his expression darkens, showing no sign of joking around. he looks a little shocked, too, to know someone was pursuing you.

“it's not from me,” he admits, gently taking your hand. “but it's true that i like you.”

xiao:

xiao is one of the people you deliver presents to lol

due to his intimidating disposition (and the endless amount of nasty rumors swirling about him, thanks to said intimidating disposition), hardly anybody would dare to approach him, daunted by the perpetual scowl etched on his face. he remains as eye candy, but an entity no one could reach.

you avoided him at first, too. his face is admirable, you can say that much, but you've become somewhat desensitized from having been surrounded by pretty faces 24/7 so you can't really say it's anything new... and yes, you are scared of him to a certain degree. you could never guess what he's thinking.

you weren't sure if he's as scary as people make him out to be though, since people tend to exaggerate gossip for the sake of shock value. he once defended a middle schooler from high school delinquents (through persuasion and not with fists), but the story somehow twisted into another tale entirely detailing how xiao had brutally wiped the floor with their faces and painted the concrete floor with blood...

but as intimidating as he might seem, you don't think he's that kind of character. if you overlook his piercing glare and sharp tongue, he's quite decent.

... you thought that way until you caught him tailing you on your way home.

he crept up behind you, maintaining a natural distance, but after numerous twists and turns in hopes of leading him away, he had yet to cease heading towards your direction. you wouldn't be so suspicious if you hadn't purposely gone in circles around town, leading back to where you came from — which meant he didn't have a particular destination in mind, and fully intended on being hot on your tail.

tired of having bated breath waiting for his next move, you gathered all your courage and confronted him directly, cornering him to the nearest wall to assert dominance. xiao seemed startled by your forwardness, and you took his moment of vulnerability as an opportunity to interrogate him.

unexpectedly, he sheepishly confesses, “i'm not a stalker, i got worried since you're going home this late. haven't you heard about the crime rate these days...”

from there on, you suppose you could say you understood him better. though he's snappy and stern, he's not that terrifying, even sweet at times. when you become proper friends (and you stop suspecting him as your stalker), he saves you a seat next to him, or brings you coffee that you like when he notices you're sleepy in class.

it wasn't long until everybody came to know you were friends and a girl finally — you guessed it — asked you to send a love letter to xiao in her stead.

when you gave it to xiao, he was unusually flustered, flushed pink to the tips of his ears. his expression falls flat once you tell him it's from someone else, badly containing the disappointment to show on his face.

nevertheless, you continue to be friends, and xiao has learned not to expect much from you.

he's the earliest to arrive in class, so you ask him if he'd seen the person who gave you flowers. with a cold, hard look, he says no.

he's acting kind of weird, isn't he...

diluc:

the barista in the coffee shop near your university that has to put up with so much bullshit flirting everyday.

he has to reject people in a roundabout way, and you know he hates it, but of course he has to provide great customer service if he still wants customers right... directly breaking their hearts would only make problems.

but he takes no shit from rude customers.

no, you weren't one of them. in fact, diluc quite liked you a bit. first of all, you don't have any romantic interest for the staff, you genuinely enjoy his drinks (he knows because your face is like an open book), and you mind your own business. he tolerates you enough that he can make small talk with you and it doesn't upset him in the slightest.

so it really ticked him off when some idiot was bothering you in the cafe, starting an argument over a trivial matter that shouldn't be fussed over.

in normal circumstances, diluc would've done the usual protocol — reason with the angry customer, offer free products, and let them leave the premises peacefully. but the moment he saw the man grab your shoulders and you winced in pain as a result, he didn't even have to think of what to do next.

cold coffee rained down on the ill-mannered man's head, evoking a surprised scream out of him. his fingers left your body in favor of patting away the sticky liquid from his clothes, and you stared blankly at the seething figure behind him.

“your order,” diluc announced, his voice tinted with rage. then he pretended to remember something, looking at the empty cup in his hand. “oh, i apologize. you ordered it hot, didn't you?” he forced a smile on his face. “would you like me to brew another one for you?”

the man erupted to a new screaming fit, but he was promptly dragged aside. diluc immediately questioned if you were hurt anywhere, his voice a total 180 from before and turning into a soft tone you nearly didn't recognize.

“that stunt you pulled...” you nervously said. “will you be okay...? won't you get, er, dismissed because of it?”

“...you don't know i own this place?”

“???”

in any case, you've become good friends ever since that incident. so when your secret admirer gives you your customized drink from diluc's shop (that even xiao doesn't know the recipe of!), you ask him if there's a customer who ordered your exact drink that morning.

strangely enough, he changes the subject.

“he only gave you coffee?” diluc wrinkles his nose. “he's not fit for you.”

he proceeds to shove you a plate of pancakes for breakfast and won't let you talk about that topic again.

kazuha:

the soft-spoken boy working part-time as a florist. as one would expect, his good-looking features attracted customers left and right, just like how a flower allures bees with its colorful petals and sweet nectar.

he studies in a different university from you, but it's relatively close by and you run into each other a lot. you could say you're pretty good friends; you exchanged contact information and text every other day, phone each other up to have a meal together whenever you're both free, and hang out over the weekend.

he stirred up some drama with you once. on a rainy day, he invited you to eat lunch together, but you've forgotten to take an umbrella before leaving for school so you told him you'd be a little late 'cause you had to run to the convenience store first. however, he told you not to worry about it and abruptly ended the call.

fast forward to the afternoon: the glass doors to leave the corridors had a few people lurking by, covering what was beyond. you cocked up an eyebrow in question, confused over what was all the fuss, but then you see that familiar pale hair streaked with bright red.

kazuha stood innocently by the school gates, a crimson umbrella in hand, and a small bouquet in the other. he checked his wristwatch every few minutes, seeming to be waiting for someone. he completely ignored the gawking stares pinned on his frame, busying himself by humming a quiet tune.

you hesitantly pushed open the doors, approaching him with wary steps. he immediately perked up once noticing you, beaming brightly to greet you with enthusiasm. he offered you the bouquet, telling you it's nothing more than a small gift the owner had let him craft for free (who mistakenly thought kazuha had a lover, since he was always on his phone texting someone).

you might have known the reasons behind the present, but nobody else did. and what general implications could gifting a bouquet of flowers have?

thus, the school's online forum exploded with questions, asking for the identity of the pretty boy standing by their university, and the lucky person he'd given flowers to.

needless to say it was hard to convince your friends that no, he isn't your boyfriend.

but that was another issue! the issue NOW is the other bouquet you received, much more recent in nature. after suspecting childe, your next thought was to ask kazuha if he had any buyers who purchased the same flowers you had.

his lips twitch for a moment, faintly looking displeased. but he flashes a flawless, award-winning customer service smile, covering his initial expression easily.

“no such customer ordered for those flowers that day. but i am curious about this matter... could you humor me and explain more in detail, by any chance?”

albedo:

the med student fawned over by students and teachers alike. he's simply brilliant, idolized by the entire student body. though he's mainly studying science, he's been praised for his art as well, his paintings hung in the art room proudly.

you're not very familiar with him, only knowing him through hearsay. you don't know what he looks like, so you've never confirmed for yourself if he's as beautiful everyone says he is.

he's well-known but you haven't heard anything bad about him, which is an impressive feat. his name is only ever mentioned in concert with endless compliments.

you meet him by chance in exam season. unsurprisingly, the library is filled to the brim, tables stacked high with books and each chair occupied by agitated students sipping energy drinks and coffee to stay functional. amidst all the chaos, one student remains radiant and carefree, leisurely flicking pages through his notes. he's situated by a corner table, unbothered by the mindless zombies despite having plenty of free seats beside him and everyone else is squished together like canned tuna.

and you, carrying binders, books and stationery, are visibly desperate for a place to rest. his eyes leave the words in his notes briefly, beckoning you to come closer. and you, still unaware of his identity, gladly plop on a chair and heave your heavy supplies atop the table. it shakes for a moment as it bears the new weight, rattling his items, and the zombies gape at you in question. ironically, the person you've been bothering is not offended at all.

you sneak glances at him when you need to freshen your eyes from studying, nauseated by the letters that never seem to come to an end no matter how many paragraphs you've read. you're at awe by his fair skin, not a single blemish in sight, and he doesn't even have dark circles under his eyes. truly mysterious. either he has a magical skincare routine or he's not human. if anything, you'd think he just came from a relaxing vacation, not in the middle of hell week.

you snap out of your trance, and you scold yourself for being bewitched. you have more pressing concerns, and so you grill more information into your brain, oblivious to the turquoise eyes that begin to stare at you.

the next encounter comes when exams are finally over, and you celebrate by buying the pricey food set in the cafeteria. the crunch of golden breading is rewarding for your taste buds and you shovel more food towards your mouth, minding your own business.

the seat next to you is pulled back, and you pause from chewing. it's that guy again, his refined beauty easy for you to recognize. he places his tray on the table, smiling amiably as he asks if it's fine with you should he sit there. you nod, but there's plenty of vacant tables around. it's also pretty weird that he sat next to you, not across...

well, strange as it is, that's how you befriend albedo. you've yet to learn why he came on so strong, almost aggressive. like he really wanted to talk to you. but whatever.

the more you learn about him, the more his image of “golden boy” withers away. picture of elegance? the standard of sophistication? sure. but this guy doesn't hesitate to do the weirdest shit sometimes.

he doesn't fear anything. he puts anything edible in his mouth. one school trip to the countryside taught you a few things. if he's offered fried bugs, he'll eat it. if he's given frog legs, he'll eat it. he doesn't care. he'll eat seemingly anything. because of this, you worry his admirers will put something strange in the food they give him, but that possibility doesn't cross his mind at all. (well. not that he eats it. he rejects gifts most of the time. exceptions are when they come from you.)

you're starting to think he really doesn't fear anything. when you start to scream in fright like a headless chicken while watching a horror movie, he calmly studies the anatomy of whatever horrifying creature is on screen, questioning their ability to walk when half of their body is split apart. why is he questioning horror movie logic. “ghosts are supposed to be transparent and can pass through walls, how come she can grab the main character's hair and drag him to the incinerator?” “albedo, please.” (he comforts you when you get scared, hiding your face in his shoulder as he wraps his arms around you. he softly whispers in your ear to tell you when the scary parts are over.)

he's also an overprotective older brother. for good reason, actually. his little sister, albeit cute and outwardly harmless, is an explosive child who likes to make trouble. if he takes his eyes off her for more than two minutes, she will undoubtedly set fire to his little garden.

but aside from being a pain in the ass, his observation skills can help you — surely albedo can make a few guesses for your secret admirer's identity?

she's the reason why he's so observant. he can tell you trimmed your hair because he's all too used to klee chopping off her own hair with craft scissors. he also notices when you feel a bit under the weather. klee is the type to hide her sickness so she could play outside, and albedo would often have to forcibly tuck her back to bed. you're no different. he will, quite literally, drag you to your house and make you rest.

albedo blinks at you, uncharacteristically silent. he purses his lips, and gives you a small smile. he asks a few unassuming questions, things like what traces your secret left behind, or if they'd sent a love letter and he'd check the penmanship to see if he found it familiar.

he's not the most eager to help, you know that, but you're still slightly disappointed when he says, “sorry, i can't help you with something like that. it'd be better if you figured it out yourself.”

thoma:

the cute neighbor living in the apartment next door. just like kazuha, he studies in a different university, but you run into each other a lot because... well. obviously.

you find him rather silly. he'd signed the lease not knowing pets weren't allowed in the premises, and tearfully waved taroumaru goodbye when he moved in. to cope, he started staying at the park near the apartment building, playing with the dogs there and getting hit on by their owners in the process, but let's not talk about that.

despite being a newcomer, he fit right in with the tenants. he made effort to learn everyone's names and chatted with them whenever presented a chance, thus winning their favor. it isn't a strange sight to see him with middle-aged ladies and looking at home, listening earnestly to their complaints about their husbands or rowdy children. (his hard work pays off when they give him their special recipes and inform him of supermarket deals lol)

he seems to get along well with old men too, invited to their drinking parties. except thoma isn't good at rejecting alcohol from older adults, so when you save him from such situation — pulling him away from the old men prying into his love life, because surely a good kid like him would have someone to love him dearly — he's become eternally grateful.

he's honestly too good for his own good.

exhibit a: thoma is prone to cooking too much food for one person to eat in one sitting, so he tends to invite you to eat his hotpot with him or bring you packaged food you can easily pop into a microwave. after your one act of goodwill, he's become strangely attached to you, pronouncing you best buds. he then admits he used to live with a larger group of people (hence his cooking habits), and he's thankful for your company. (you'd argue you're getting the better end of the deal, receiving free food like this)

exhibit b: he's always available to help you in your troubles. need a hand with heavy groceries? he's on his way! ran out of soy sauce? just wait a bit, he's gonna grab some from the cupboard! forgot your key inside your apartment? then stay at his place for the meantime before the locksmith comes! your shower isn't working well?... he promises he won't peek in the bathroom, so feel free to take a bath h a h a h a. need someone's opinion on what outfit to wear for a date? sure, he's- wait.

YOU'RE GOING ON A DATE?

his face twists weirdly as you showcase two different shirts, asking which one he likes better. you raise an eyebrow when he doesn't dare to utter a single word. “are they both bad?”

he blinks rapidly, then shakes his head laughing. he half-heartedly points to the shirt in your left hand, but you can tell he doesn't really think much of it. he excuses himself fairly quickly, saying he had chores to do, and scurried back to his own home.

(you were only going to a date with ayaka's older brother because she insisted you both needed a love life, but it's not like you actually feel anything for him.)

it doesn't end there. thoma acts weird sometimes. he's strangely cold when he sees you inviting kazuha to your apartment to hang out. he also stiffens when he spots xiao walking you home.

but by far, he acted the weirdest when your phone number called him, but when he answered, he heard a different voice respond.

it's childe, whom you went drinking with. he doesn't know where you live, and you're not nearly sober enough to return home on your own, and it's not like you'll agree to staying over childe's house. you also refuse telling him your address, so childe is left with no choices but to call for someone he knows.

he uses your fingerprint to unlock the password in your phone, heading straight for your contact list, and dialed thoma.

it doesn't take long for thoma to arrive where you are, panting after running for a while, and childe is almost impressed. thoma hoists you up and you obediently wrap your arms around him.

“sorry for the trouble. [name]'s dead drunk as you can see,” childe comments, chuckling to himself. thoma doesn't look amused and replies with, “it's no trouble at all. i'd be glad to help [name] anytime.”

then in a way that almost seems possessive, thoma leaves childe behind.

so now when you arrive home, bouquet in your arms, red dusting your features, thoma is displeased once more.

(yet he is envious of those who can freely profess their affections, because he's certain if he were to ever admit his feelings to you, things can never be the same.)

gorou:

you first suspected childe because you thought the bouquet of flowers was a joke, but if it wasn't and it was real with the intentions of sweeping you off your feet...

then you might have another suspect in mind.

gorou is... a funny guy. can you put it like that? you don't know what to think of him. he's nice, you already know that very well, kokomi's good friends with him and told you a few stories about him, all of which are sweet and amusing. your first impression of him was that of a pure-hearted boy that can do no wrong.

he's younger than you by a year, and kokomi was fairly excited when she first told you he would be attending the same university soon. she promised to introduce you to him in hopes you'd be friends as well.

and okay, you could get behind that. there's nothing wrong with meeting new people. gorou sounded like a great guy too, and it'd be nice to take care of someone younger. you've been coddled by your seniors the past year as a freshman, and you thought it would only be right if you did the same to the new batch of students.

so you attended the welcoming party kokomi dragged you into. it was just a small gathering to get the freshmen familiarize themselves with older students, and she told you you'd get to meet gorou there, her eyes carefully scanning the crowd in pursuit of a specific face.

just as you were reminiscing over the past where your sadistic seniors encouraged you to drink a lot in the last welcoming party, shuddering in fright, kokomi tapped your shoulder and gestured to the brown haired boy standing before you.

it must be him. per courtesy, your lips curled into a practiced smile, exuding an amicable air. kokomi briefly exchanged a few words with him, but it looked like she was doing all the talking, the male frozen in spot as if he'd seen something strange.

he stared at you blankly, eyes slightly widened, and you slowly became unnerved with his vacant gaze, your smile faltering. you made eye contact with kokomi, silently questioning her, but she gave a subtle shrug of her shoulders, also confused by his behavior.

then, completely out of everyone's expectations, he'd dropped to the floor.

gorou had knelt on the ground with one steady knee, solemn in his endeavors. in an instant, your hand was seized, fingers enclosed in his warm palm. his piercing stare was impassioned, sincere at its core. heat shot up to the tips of your ears.

“marry me!”

his voice resounded in the entire room, earning unwanted attention. the chatter halted immediately, all eyes dedicated to the spectacle that was the both of you, and your mind began to spin, cold sweat dripping down your forehead.

your voice was caught in your throat, not knowing what to say, and all you could formulate was a garbled string of incoherent mess. undeterred, the grasp on your hand was unrelenting, gorou committed through this act until the very end.

everyone was thinking the same thing: we haven't even started drinking yet, but this little guy is drunk already??

shameless. crazy. a head with loose screws. you're probably the only one who'd describe gorou that way.

but what kind of sane man would say that upon first meeting???

kokomi quickly tried to mediate the situation for him, pulling him away and patting his back to knock him out of his dazed stupor, and pushed you to the farthest corner.

she vouched for him when she saw your puzzled expression, thinking of him as a weirdo, and she insisted he's normally not that odd. she swears he was never interested in dating before, and she isn't sure what changed for him to... propose... all of a sudden... to you, who he'd barely seen for ten seconds, no less.

naturally, it feels strange for you to see him. after that disastrous encounter, gorou — who did feel embarrassment for what he did, horrified at his own impulsiveness — tried to make amends, backtracking steps (he skipped way too many and immediately went to propose lol) and treating you normally like a friend of a friend, slowly trying to make the atmosphere between you casual instead of a freezing blizzard that kills off the amicable mood.

in spite of all that, however, you do feel as if his feelings are actually genuine. he can be clumsy, and incredibly so, you don't know who else could propose to another person within a span of a minute meeting them for the first time, but he means well! you started off on the wrong foot, and maybe this bouquet of flowers is him trying to curry your favor... or something...

yet all he gives is a disbelieving look, and that's enough to provide a clear answer: it's not from him, and he's upset.

it,, probably wasn't a good idea to ask someone who likes you about another person who likes you.

but if it isn't him, who else could it be?!

drop your guesses in the comments but im pretty sure it's already obvious lol

For the event:

Albedo +

Tysm! (＾∇＾)ﾉ♪

𝟓𝟎𝟎 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 - 𝐚 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢

take part - here!

pairing - albedo x gender neutral reader (royalty au!)

genre - fluff

word count - 2668

a/n - hello hello!! this is such a pretty photo, kinda reminds me of a botanical garden :) i think those flowers are hydrangeas so i tried to incorporate them into the drabble as much as i could :D ik it's daytime in the pic but for the sake of this it's nighttime ok shhhh. i kind of struggle to write for albedo a bit but i did as best as i could :) i also went v e r y overboard with this :')

content under the cut!

marriage is an odd thing, strong and supportive in theory but fickle in execution and nature, it often made no sense to you whatsoever. so imagine your surprise when your parents, the king and queen of fontaine, came to you and informed you of your betrothal to the crown prince of mondstat: prince albedo.

to many, a betrothal to prince albedo would be a dream. from what you've heard he's quite handsome although a bit socially inept and possessed a mind rivaling that of the most brilliant scholars. you'd be lying if you said part of you wasn't curious, but that part of you was also being swallowed by an inevitable fear of what was to come.

marriage was a thick, steely cuff shackled to ivory floors in your opinion, you'd exchange your freedom in for your country as your duty requires you to, but then what? live a life locked up in a palace with some man you barely know as your husband? the mere thought of it had you running to the nearest bathroom and dry heaving over the sink.

on top of the weighty betrothal, you hadn't a sliver of an idea of what prince albedo looked like exactly. sure, you knew he was a bit quiet and super smart but asides from that? you had nothing to go off of.

and it seemed like you never would officially know what he looked like until the day of your marriage when your parents made it their mission to hide portraits of the prince that had been sent over to your palace as a gift. you tried to sneak a glance under the cloth draped over one of the paintings only to be harshly reprimanded by your person in waiting and dragged off for more nobility training.

the week before you were to be shipped off to mondstat and married, your parents came to you smiling ear to ear. "the monarchs in mondstat have arranged for an engagement ball! isn't this exciting?" and of course, like always, you nodded and went along with it. but in reality you wanted nothing more than to slink away and indulge in your hobbies that had nothing to do with royal duties or marriage.

and now here you stood, greeting one person after the other as you stood beside both your parents and the monarchs of mondstat. guests swept across the marble dance floor, skirts billowing akin to faint smoke. you gripped a flute of champagne in one gloved hand and the other mindlessly fussed with an over-the-top heirloom on your neck. "stop slouching!" your mother hissed, lightly tapping the side of your arm with her elaborate golden fan. you sighed and straightened your back, sending her a look that practically read "happy now?"

bored out of your mind, you had nothing to do but look around and take in the sights (asides from repeating the same basic greeting every thirty or so seconds). the king and queen of mondstat had spared no expense in decking their ballroom out with the finest of decorations and food hailing from the best of cooks and pastry chefs. you glanced towards the side past your parents who stood on either side of you. the king and queen of mondstat were busy being greeting other guests, but you saw no one who looked like they could be the crown prince.

you'd noted down a few possibilities of who albedo could be: the gentleman with inky blue hair and a striking eyepatch who had entered an animated discussion with a guard. or perhaps the stony-faced redhead who looked like he'd rather be anywhere but here. yet none of them seemed probable to you, that eyepatch man was much too chatty and though the red head was a strong contender for a while, he didn't seem quite socially inept.

though the mini hunt for your betrothed played out like a game in your mind, it didn't help distract you from the overwhelming presence of people that surrounded you. from each and every corner and side came flocks of nobility, ambassadors, lords and ladies, dukes and duchesses, you name the title and they were there. after answering far too many questions for your liking and speaking in tongues that left you with a lump in your throat, you quickly excused yourself to the bathroom only to end up lost within the grand halls of the palace.

"this is ridiculous..." you grumbled, hiking up yet another flight of stairs and passing another intricate porcelain vase that you'd sworn you'd seen twice in trying to navigate the palace. you wondered if you'd just been going around in circles until a certain door caught your attention.

unlike the wooden oak doors that defined many of the rooms in the palace, these doors were purely glass and framed by uncarved wood with some of the leaves still intact. the twisting branches were something like you'd seen in the few alchemy classes you'd taken previously. curious, you placed your palm on the wooden handle and twisted it open.

before you was a sight unlike any other you'd seen before.

tiled paths lined from the door lead inwards towards a stunning indoor garden. along the sides, beds bordered by hedges held silky hydrangeas both violet and ocean blue which surrounded tall, stalking trees that protruded their way up in the middle of the flower beds. bushes and other varying greenery sat in the beds, neatly crafted to form elegant circles. in the middle of the garden, a beautiful beige marble fountain sat spewing water from the top.

for a moment you simply stood by the door and observed with your mouth agape, completely engulfed by the garden that seemed to jump right out of your favorite fantasy novels. you glanced around cautiously, and when you caught sight of no one else, you traversed deeper within.

the only tangible sounds were the soft clicks of your shoes across the tiles and the gentle trickle of the fountain which reverberated throughout the lush garden. as you approached the fountain, you noticed tiny multicolored butterflies hovering over the marble borders. you perched yourself on the edge and watched them flutter around you with curious eyes.

"hello there..." you quietly whispered to a stunning golden butterfly that landed on the tip of your finger.

"i see you've met auric." a voice suddenly broke through the calm silence you had been engulfed in.

you whipped your head around, a tad frightened. at first, you saw nothing but darkness. "w-who's there?" you asked, rising from your seat and looking around.

from the darkness of one of the leading paths stepped forth a young man.

but this was no young man in particular, in fact this was most definitely the most handsome man you'd ever seen in your entire life.

bathed in moonlight, his ashen locks were neatly combed and braided to the back. his attire was that of the finest garb, you noted. gold lined his dark blue overcoat, the tails embedded with dots of silver and aquamarine. but most of all, his stunning cerulean eyes sucked you in like a whirlpool and held you in its swirling grips.

"the great spangled fritillary," he politely smiled, gesturing to the butterfly on the tip of your finger, "scientific name speyeria cybele." he finished, walking closer to you.

"but to me, that butterfly's name is simply auric." said butterfly was still on your finger, flitting its wings every now and then. how it hadn't flown away with your movements, you had no idea.

the name tasted familiar on your tongue, "auric? like the chemical term?" he nodded, placing his white gloved finger near yours.

the butterfly, or auric rather scuttled off your finger onto the man's. "correct, meaning-"

"of, related to, or derived from gold." you eagerly finished for him. he seemed surprised but nodded. "yes...very good. are you perchance a scholar?" from the look on his face, it seemed if you were to lie about your status as a monarch he'd see right through it. and yet you couldn't exactly risk giving up such sensitive information to a complete stranger who had you alone.

"not exactly, i am merely...associated with the royal family of fontaine." lying wasn't exactly your specialty, but for now it seemed like he bought it.

"ah, i see. i too am also...associated with the royal family of mondstat." with a gentle flick of his finger, auric the butterfly fluttered away back to hover over the spewing water.

"is the ball not to your liking?" he asked. you fumbled with a response, knowing that this man was closely associated with the royal family could mean your answer here would be very important.

"i- um, the decorations are quite lovely!" you quickly blurted out, unsure of what else to say.

"ah it pleases me to hear that, are you having a good time?" you nodded your head yes, but from the looks of it you didn't seem too convincing. "you mustn't lie, it's very unbecoming. it's alright if it wasn't to your liking. i'm not much for parties myself." the mysterious man sat himself down on the edge of the marble fountain and gestured to the empty space next to him. "you're welcome to keep me company while i avoid social interaction." you snorted and placed yourself on the space beside him.

"that's a bit contradictory you know."

"i'm well aware, but the clashes of duty and desire are almost always contradictory are they not?" he ended with a charming smirk. smartass, you chuckled and nodded.

you thought back to the butterfly that had perched itself so tamely on your fingertips. "are you a researcher of butterflies?" you asked as you looked up at the fluttering insects that still hovered above you.

"i would consider myself so, i know more about them than most people." he hummed to himself. "and you? you seem awfully intelligent for someone merely associated with the royal family." you gulped and hoped he didn't see through your ruse.

"i- um, i'm in charge of the younger monarch's...educational teachings. yes-! i'm their tutor." you quickly weaved a lie. it had holes and gaps but it was the best you could do for now.

"you might be interested in the royal library then. if you ever return to the palace i'll be sure to show you." your ears perked up at the mention of a library.

"i'd like that, sure." you smiled. so far you kinda liked this man, he'd been nothing but courteous to you but within was a deeper layer that seemed to rest just beneath the surface. you couldn't lie, your curiosity was beginning to get the better of you. you tried to avoid his gaze yet his eyes bore into you, almost as if analyzing your every move.

"you seem...bothered by something. might i ask what?" you fiddled with the ends of your gloves and sighed.

"am i that obvious?" you peered up at him from your hunched position, a tiny sheepish smile on your face.

he merely waved his hand and dismissed your question, "not particularly, i'm just fairly observant."

perhaps it was the fresh air, or the lack of pressure on your shoulders you'd left behind in the ballroom, but you felt your resolve crumbling bit by bit.

"i'm to be wed soon," you mumbled more to the ground than him, "and i'm not sure if i'm ready to be tied down. or if i'll ever be ready for that."

you hadn't raised your head to check if he was still listening, but from his quiet breaths and slight hums of understanding it seemed he was.

"i see, marriage is quite the hassle i must agree. i simply wouldn't have the energy to expend into maintaining both a relationship and my academic endeavors," you nodded in complete understanding, "but then again, perhaps a relationship wouldn't be too hard to maintain if it were the right person."

"the thing is, i've never met my fiance. i have no idea if he's right for me."

he hummed and you watched from the side as auric fluttered down onto his finger once again. "being someone as lovely as you, your fiance would have to be a fool not to treat you right." he smiled, giving you a reassuring look.

the butterflies in your stomach swirled upwards with his compliments and you hid you flustered eyes in the confinements of the suddenly very interesting ground.

"thank you, for the reassurance i mean." you mumbled.

"of course, i believe you're in good hands."

the curious side of you was clawing away at your sides, demanding that you know more about this mysterious man. the more rational part of you however, demanded that you hold your tongue and treat this as a formal encounter. of course, you chose to be complicated.

"if i might ask for your name?" you boldly asked.

before he could even get a chance to open his mouth and reply, a nearby clock sounded the bell ten times. you whipped your head over and suddenly remembered that your mother would be looking for you.

"i don't mean to cut this short but my mo- i mean! the queen will be looking for me. i must hurry back." you picked yourself up and bowed hastily. as you turned to dash out of the door, he caught your hand in his gloved one.

he seemed to not know what he was doing at first, but cleared his throat and placed a feather light kiss on the back of your silk covered hand. "until next time." he nodded politely at you. if you weren't a mess before you sure as hell were now.

where he had formally kissed your hand and been polite, you managed to squeak out a "goodbye!" before scurrying off.

by some miracle you'd managed to find your way back to the ballroom and stumbled to your parent's sides with less grace than you were taught. your mother turn to you with a worried look, "where have you been?" she hissed lowly under her breath.

"got lost," you panted, smoothing out the fabric of your clothes.

"oh my dear (y/n)! i've been looking for you!" you snapped your head up as the call of your name. your future mother-in-law bounded towards you and took both of your hands in her warm ones.

"i've finally found that elusive son of mine, i'm so very eager to have him meet you." she giggled and clasped her hands together.

your stomach did backflips- did she just say you're finally going to get to meet the man you'd spend the rest of your life with? it was a bit overdue in your opinion, but better late than never you supposed.

you waited expectantly, the nervous butterflies in your stomach began to flutter with each second as you watched the queen of mondstat filter through the crowd for her son. at the thought of butterflies, your mind wandered back to that handsome man in the garden and auric the beautiful golden butterfly. he had the most lovely voice too...you almost thought if you listened hard enough past the classical music and chit chat you'd hear the soft bass of his calm voice.

"(y/n)?" brought away from your thoughts, your eyes fell upon those same cerulean eyes that you'd just seen earlier.

your mouth fell agape and you couldn't hide the immediate shock on your face. "you!" you pointed a finger at the ashen haired man you'd encountered in the garden.

"yes, i'm prince albedo. i apologize i should have introduced myself in the garden but," he paused for a moment to extend his hand, "you seemed much more inclined to hide your identity. i thought i'd do the same." your head swam with thoughts of all kinds as you hesitantly placed your hand in his.

the sly glint in his eyes let you know that marriage to him might not be as shackled as you thought.

Big brother Kaya supremacy 

genshin boys in a fantasy otome game

diluc: the stuck-up duke you're engaged to. incredibly rich and you're basically sold to be his wife by your parents who claim “they only want the best for you.” which, apparently, equals to this seemingly perfect man with handsome features and an endless amount of mora. however, as flawless he may be on the surface, you find out he's just a very negligent fiance who thinks buying you all the dresses and jewels in the kingdom is enough to make you happy. he's stiff and cold, shutting you out of his life; telling you his problems didn't concern you. but maybe... maybe he did that because he didn't want to trouble you. maybe he cares about you to an extent. he makes an effort to join you for dinner, no matter how busy he is, and his gifts are sometimes thoughtful, not just expensive. he's clumsy at flattery, but you appreciate the sentiment. (and maybe — just maybe — you could find happiness with him.)

kaeya: the step-brother of your fiance. you've always thought he was strange. his gaze on you lingered, and he stares at you far too often to be considered appropriate for a mere (soon to be) brother-in-law. his smiles are suggestive, and quite unsettling. but you find out he's kind, just a bit mysterious. he keeps you company when diluc can't make it into dinner, and he accompanies you around town in his brother's stead if he was too busy to come with you himself. he's nothing but a gentleman, friendly and approachable, but you both know there's a distance he can't cross. (and yet he longs to.)

childe: a smug thief you caught stealing one of diluc's treasures. before you can scream or call for help, he shushes you, and he slips away from the manor without managing to steal anything. it's a victory on your part, but he's a sneaky rat — he begins to visit you occasionally, just to rile you up for fun. you don't know how he does it, but he climbs through the balcony in your room, hiding in the shadows of the night to not let any of the servants see him. you're unamused by the blatant trespassing, but you can't deny he's entertaining to talk to. for a scummy thief, he sure does seem to love his family a lot. you can tell that much, from the voice he uses when he speaks of his siblings. (he sounds like that when he talks about you too, you know. you just never notice.) he gives you a ring one day — something he didn't steal for once. it's from his mother, he says. she told him to give it to the person he wanted to marry. he confesses he doesn't care about any of the treasure lurking within diluc's home anymore. because out of everything, he only wants to steal you away.

zhongli: your first love. he's an unassuming baron with not a lot of influence, but there's something powerful residing in his eyes, glowing amber even in the dimmest of light. he's kingly, his elegant nature befitting of an emperor sitting on a golden throne, and yet he's as humble as a commoner, with no regards to his overflowing wealth. there's something special about the way he snakes his hand around your waist when you take the chance to dance with him at a ball, supposedly for obligatory purposes, but you lose yourself in his gaze, the color of honey staring deeply into you lighting your cheeks red. when he takes your hand in his, you feel his warmth through his glove (and idly, you wonder what it would be like if his gloves weren't in the way). he led you to the floor, twirling and spinning, and he's the perfect partner; he's as gentle as a passing wind, but his searing touch lingers, when the song comes to a close and he releases you. then your eyes travel to his left hand, an engagement ring adorning his finger, and your heart crumbles into a million pieces.

albedo: a renowned mage known for his genius in the entire continent. magical powers aren't very common, thus mages are normally held in high regard, but he's even idolized by fellow mages. he was adept with his powers from a young age, but he doesn't see himself as anyone special. you meet him as a child when you both attended a boring ball, and since you were both children seeking some entertainment in this formal arrangement mainly utilized by adults, you both ditched the ballroom and went off somewhere quiet so albedo could show you some “party tricks”. he became your usual playmate from there on, and he's essentially your childhood friend. he does the meanest pranks (since he's a mage, he can easily turn your hair color into a bright green or temporarily turn you into a frog), but he's very nice when it counts. he gives you healing potions when you fall ill, and he casts a protection charm in every accessory he gifts you on your birthday. he's particularly interested in the study of dragons, despite dragons basically being a myth in your continent's fairy tales, and everyone thinks he's delusional for believing in them but you support him in his studies. you're naturally curious in what he does as a mage, and he's happy about that, however he is unamused when you jokingly ask him to make you a love potion to give to zhongli. (in retaliation, the very next day, he shows up in your room as a frog, claiming he had an “accident” while he was making a potion, thus turning himself into an amphibian. apparently, the only cure for it was... a kiss? what? didn't he make you an actual remedy when you were the one turned into a frog five years ago?)

venti: a whimsical bard you happened to come across with when you snuck out of your home as a rebellious teenager. you were immature then, and a bit adventurous, and you wanted to see how commoners lived their life. you went out with simple clothes, with a cloak covering your facial features to hide your true identity, but some brute thieves noticed your expensive-looking wallet despite your efforts and immediately took the chance to rob you. then suddenly, a lithe boy jumps from a roof, distracts the men, and grabs your hand to lead you away from the chaos. he's light on his feet, full of bubbly energy, and although you were ready to compensate him for his help with whatever amount of money he could possibly ask for, he only requested for a single drink in a nearby tavern. he is... rather odd. he successfully identified your real title, but he didn't hand you off to palace guards right away to have you escorted back to your estate. no doubt having done so would earn him a great sum, because your parents had put a bounty over your head. instead, he offers to show you around town, plays you a song with his lyre, and introduces you to his friends. yes, he's certainly a strange fellow... but it's not just his behavior that's weird. his way of speaking is too eloquent for a commonner, and he knows too much about the officials governing the kingdom. his songs are always cryptic, insinuating a deeper meaning to his lyrics, and his eyes, though holding a childish twinkle, had a knowing gleam. and to top it all off, he introduced you to his “best friend” — the mythical dragon dvalin himself?! (it's somewhat underwhelming to find out he's the long lost prince of the kingdom right after you saw such a large creature hiding among the mountains.)

xiao: your ever so loyal knight. as a child, he lived in the slums; a part of the kingdom everyone tended to avoid from fear. your father took pity on xiao when he found him struggling to survive and brought him back home to take care of him, planning to assign him as your personal knight once he was given proper training. xiao was surely worth pitying when you first laid your eyes on him — downcast eyes, sooty face, torn clothing with muddy shoes, and lacking any personal belongings. however, after he'd taken a nice bath, you learned he was quite pretty, with youthful features certain to turn handsome as he grew up. his eyes were an enchanting gold, skin as soft as velvet, and his hair was shiny and silky, though it was unfortunate he shied away whenever you tried to take a closer look. he was surprisingly meek, but you knew better than that. (after all, if he survived in the slums all by himself, you didn't doubt his capability to murder a man with his bare hands.) he was incredibly distant with you, but you didn't give up your attempts to befriend him. you invite him to go to the library to read storybooks together, just to see a twinkle of innocence light up his lifeless eyes. you dismiss his panicked refusal when you set up garden picnics especially for him, because he may pretend like he doesn't want to eat anything, but you can clearly see him eyeing that plate of almond tofu. soon enough, he grows fond of you, and he protects you not only because of his job, but also because you're someone precious to him.

as your knight, and by extension, your dearest friend, he is tasked to watch over you.

so he watches from the sidelines as you befriend another young boy — a mage known as albedo — and gazes in envy as albedo converses with you casually, able to stand on even ground with you. how he wished he could do the same.

he watches as you sneak out from your window to wander around the kingdom without permission, panic settling his nerves when you nearly injured yourself in doing so, but he doesn't stop you from escaping home, because he wanted you to have a taste of freedom. he regrets his decision when you come back home telling about your newest friend, venti.

he watches the exact moment when you fall in love with zhongli, putty in the older man's hands as he twirls you around the ballroom, and xiao could only look at you from a distance, sourness rising from the back of his throat. your heart wasn't the only one that shattered that day.

he watches as you sit across from diluc in the dinner table every night, eyeing the engagement ring on your finger illuminated by the chandelier hanging overhead, and remains silent even when your chatter starts to fill the air. he longs to take it off of you.

he watches, with a sense of empathy, when kaeya glances at you with a gaze too fond, in times you can't notice. you overlook it, as always, because that's how you've always been, unaware of the effect you have on other people. he's glad you were oblivious, sometimes.

he watches as you interact with that good-for-nothing thief every late evening, standing guard by the door in case childe tried to do anything. if he ever did, xiao wouldn't hesitate to slit his throat, because anyone who'd ever dare to hurt you will die by his hand. but childe doesn't do anything, so he stays put, with gritted teeth while that rascal is shamelessly flirting with you again.

xiao watches. he only watches. because he has no right to interfere. he's only a lowly knight, at most, your friend, but it's okay. it's okay because you can smile, even if it's not because of him. that's all that matters.

right?

part ii / part iii / secret route 01

Moonchase Event Quest 1 Spoiler!

Xingqiu is struggling

who is the secret admirer?!?!

okay so i already wrote the part 2 for "yours truly" where we get to know his identity but!!!!! i wanted to talk about the little hints i left (well.... looking back on it, they weren't much)

spoilers for my fic so the explanation will be under the cut <3

OKAY. so. let's start by process of elimination, it's pretty easy to tally down the candidates.

characters from part 2 are immediately eliminated bc i NEVER planned to write a part 2 and left the secret admirer in part 1 for sure, so it can only be childe, xiao, diluc, kazuha, albedo, thoma or gorou. i thought the secret admirer not being one of the boys i wrote for would be kinda,,, redundant?? like the point of the fic was trying to find "whodunnit" and if it turned out to be someone random like.. idk. dainsleif? it'd be anti-climactic. like you spent all this time wondering who it is but it turns out to be someone the author didn't even introduce. you'd be disappointed right??? so yeah i didn't do that.

anyways

we know a few things about the secret admirer: 1) he gave flowers, 2) he knows your specific coffee order, and 3) he should be in your university in order to place the gifts on your desk (would be kinda wild if he was a neighbor of yours and he had to go to your university just to give you gifts lol)

important note: when the boys tell you something, it's better to take their word for it. only xiao has lied throughout the entire fic!

firstly, we should remove the guys who have explicitly stated they are not the secret admirer: childe and gorou. though they both admitted to having feelings for you, it's not them. they're very mopey, knowing someone else loves you and is actively trying to woo you :(

second, we'll remove the guys who aren't in your university. it's been established that thoma and kazuha are from a different school, whereas i never mentioned diluc anywhere near your uni and you only meet him through the cafe, so he's implied to not study there!

which consequently leaves us with xiao and albedo. ive brought up xiao many times during part 2, some readers were even misled into thinking he's the secret admirer. but there's really nothing to it lol i just wanted to stick him into the story :P

xiao is sus as fuck in part 1 though. he's in a bad mood when he learns someone else likes you. he wouldnt have to be so upset about the gift on your desk if he was the secret admirer! he lied about not seeing the person who placed it there, too. (which is the only lie in the fic. believe me when i say everyone else isn't feigning innocence or lying about not knowing/seeing the admirer)

LASTLYYYY albedo!!!!! he never openly expressed hostility towards the secret admirer, and only said he couldn't help you find out his identity!!

he's offended you don't consider him a possible candidate :(

and like. did no one think this random mention of a garden was suspicious. it came out of nowhere

kazuha told us outright nobody went to buy carnations at the flower shop. why? because albedo already has carnations at home!

also he's been described as observant

it's not a hint you'll understand from just this, but i'll explain a little more. remember how you first met albedo at the library and more or less studied together? well you do study dates more often after that and of course, coffee is often involved when you're cramming information into your head if you want to pass that biology final. albedo is observant enough (and has the good memory for it) to note down your special order when the barista asks for it. (diluc never denied that someone ordered with your recipe too)

also

fun fact: the ending for part 2 was supposed to be a confession scene and not a lil pov from albedo. couldn't figure out how to go about it and i also felt bad for scaramouche who was supposed to suffer through it

like. you were supposed to leave the room when albedo chickens out from confessing, hand twisting around the doorknob. but he panics when he sees you trying to leave so he places a hand to cover yours, chest nearly pressing against your back.

you turn to his direction, releasing the grip on the doorknob and is startled to see his expression so near, a gap of mere inches separating your lips. your breaths mingle as he leans even closer, words spilling out of him not on his own volition.

then the doorknob twists.

neither of you have your hands around it.

scaramouche pulls open the door and is met with an armful of you.

... he walked in on you. because that's his thing. being the eternal third wheel.

ikigai. [0.1]

the reason you wake up in the morning; your life's purpose. + your "firsts" with scaramouche.

pairing: scaramouche + gn!reader

warnings: zombie apocalypse au. fluff, hurt/comfort, kind of enemies to lovers? very brief mentions of death and "face warming up", not visible blushing. also mentions of zombies biting but it's not descriptive. not completely proofread but i might [definitely] edit it later on

author's note: help i think i posted this late and converted the timezones wrong,, sorry about that :') thank you @favoniuscodex for letting me join the first "favorites with friends" collab! also so much apologies,, i didn't write the "first dance at the wedding" prompt because i didn't think it would work out with the current plot for the zombie apocalypse reader & scaramouche T_T however i still enjoyed writing this so much, i hope you all enjoy!

— the first kiss.

if someone told you before that your first kiss would be during a zombie apocalypse, you would've laughed and played along with the joke.

if they told you that it would be with scaramouche, the very one who loathes you and calls you a disappointment on the daily, you would've deadpanned and flat out stated that they weren't being funny.

he kissed you because he thought you were going to die.

—obviously, you didn't think you were going to die right then and there.

the two of you were trapped inside a closet after patrolling the inside of an abandoned house with zombies slowly banging on the other side of the door, and you being the stubborn person you were, thought about kicking down the door itself and possibly and a little bit obnoxiously fighting with it.

scaramouche calmly spoke your name, and you could feel the vibration of his voice from being shoulder to shoulder together. it wasn't like you couldn't acknowledge him; his scent felt stronger than ever despite the horrible smell of zombies outside, and your heart beat felt louder than ever too from the closeness of your figures.

you shush him as quiet as you possibly can. "i'm trying to think of a way to get out," you visibly wince as a zombie pushed onto the door harder, against your feet propped against it to keep it up and stable. "got any ideas, mr. complainer? cause i definitely don't see you doing anything to help!"

"i didn't complain about anything," he scoffed almost as if there wasn't only a piece of wood between you two and the zombies growling harshly for food. "but if i did, it would be about us dying right here and now."

you snorted and reached out to prop the door up with your flat palms. "well, gee, maybe if you tried with me we could live." a grunt escaped you from the feeling of the zombies leaning against the closet door. "yet here you are, doing absolutely nothing!"

"shouldn't you be quiet too?" scaramouche hissed between whispers, the sounds of shuffling meeting your ears from beside you and you assumed he was sitting up to help you hold up the door.

"there wouldn't be a point since the zombies already noticed us in here," you confidently retorted. you turned your head to the side to look at what he possibly be doing, hopefully not causing a ruckus. "have you even been paying atten—"

your eyes abruptly widen— and your face warms up at the sudden feeling of the jerk of a guy beside you kissing you.

your mind and thoughts trace all the way back to the hideout you and a particular group of people (childe, signora, scaramouche, you, and a few more others) took shelter in, and everyone but scaramouche had welcomed you in warmly when you joined from being solo since the zombie apocalypse started—even the sarcastic and confident la signora. he was the only person that had made it obvious that he didn't want to talk to you at all, with his brash behavior and negative words to you. everyone told you that he was like that towards anyone, but you don't see scaramouche indirectly insulting childe in his crude words during meetings or sending glares in la signora's directions almost all of the time.

yet here you are—absolutely kissing scaramouche back because you cannot deny at all that you found him dead-ass attractive since day one, even if you were sending glares back everyday and wondering what the hell he was doing kissing you during a life-or-death situation.

— the first "i love you".

yes, because dating during a zombie apocalypse was a perfect idea for two seemingly bloodthirsty rivals who were actually and completely infatuated with each other.

but surprisingly, you were here, trying not to cry and constantly shaking scaramouche's shoulders because you thought he was going to turn into a zombie.

it was supposed to be completely alright— you two got out of that zombie-filled abandoned house together just with the knives in scaramouche's pockets (which you wondered why he didn't mention them to you before the kiss happened), and you two also fought a zombie bare-handed together after one snuck into the hideout and almost bit childe.

you guys survived months of the zombie apocalypse together, even with risky patrols and break-ins of houses far from the hideout for just rations of food and spareable supplies. he hugged you close when you couldn't sleep at night, and you kept him company every time he was supposed to guard the hideout alone.

but look at you now; trying to heave scaramouche's unconscious form onto your back as you ran back to the hideout with rain heavily pouring onto the both of you.

you two had gotten into a new building downtown, and while you were distractedly going up some stairs, a zombie had suddenly sat up from laying idly on the staircase.

of course, scaramouche being the protective person he was of you, immediately pulled you back into his chest and accidentally let the zombie bite into his ankle in the process.

"you better not fall asleep!" you currently yelled out, fighting back any possible escaping tears while also praying that scaramouche would hear you over the rain and respond. you wouldn't even mind if he replied with one of his stupid, brash insults he didn't really mean—you just wanted him to talk, to prove that he was okay. "you better not be losing to a dumb, measly zombie!"

you could hear your heart pounding loudly in your ears, your pants of exhaustion getting more consistent and constant. you lifted your head up a bit higher as you ran, your rushed steps into puddles risking a harsh fall but not even the thought of it existed in your mind as you only focused on getting scaramouche to safety. you could only pray and beg to the gods that you didn't even believe in that dottore finished his project of the zombie antidote—even if it wasn't fully ready, you were not about to have your boyfriend turn into a zombie anytime soon. you wouldn't allow it.

"i'm sure the hideout is close by," you gasped out, trying to soothe scaramouche although you were mostly trying to convince yourself... and failing. panic flowed and coursed even faster throughout your body. "it has to be. it has to. we didn't go that far downtown, i'm sure of it."

you gulped anxiously and let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding. oh god—what if scaramouche turned into a zombie right here and now and bit into your shoulder? the wet strands of his hair stuck to your face and you erased the thought immediately as it came. you knew he was better than that, there was no way that could happen... right?

and low and behold, almost just to prove you wrong— a gasp escaped scaramouche from behind you and he started coughing into one of his hands that you had. looped around your neck so he would stay on your back. your relief was evident on your face as you skidded to a halt, turning your head to the side and your eyes meeting the purple eyes you loved and admired so much.

"there's," he tried to rasp out, then breathed a few deep breaths before trying to continue his sentence. "there's no way i can sleep anyway if— if you... keep hollering at me, [name]."

"oh— oh my god," you breathe, your shoulders trembling as you start to sob and kneel down to let scaramouche get off your back. you watch with blurry eyes as he cautiously and slowly hops off and crouches down beside you, you in too much of the feeling of relief to notice him patting and rubbing circles onto your back. "you're awake, you're actually okay— but— but a zombie bit you! a-and i thought you were going to become infected—" you stop talking as broken sobs interrupt your sentence, your cold hands reaching up to shakily rub your eyes.

"i'm probably fine for now," he whispers beside your ear, and you can hear the tired ache in his voice as he tries to speak. "we just need to go back to base— about now."

you can hear it in his tone that he's trying to comfort you, but he's also trying to urgently remind you that he could still turn into a zombie if you guys don't heal anything.

but you feel too emotional right now from the relief— you want to desperately stand up, but the feeling in your knees are too weak. you're not even sure if you're strong enough right now to hold up the both of your figures. the pressure is too heavy on your shoulders; you need to get up desperately, but you feel like you can't—

"i love you." the hands wiping at your eyes completely freeze in movement at his words, and you slowly look up at scaramouche in the feelings of complete confusion and shock mixed together. you don't move at all as his face softens and his own hands wipe at your face, his fingertips cold against your eyelids but you currently don't have time to care.

at your loss of words, he continues. "anyone else would've left me—you know that?" his hands move down to your jaw as he holds your face gently in his palms. "yet you still carried me... even with the chances of me turning into a zombie and getting you infected too."

and there it is, the sight that gets you the confidence to want to stand up and do almost stand up: his smile.

it's such a small smile, the tips only curved ever-so slightly. his eyes are half-lidded with the tiring exhaustion on the both of your shoulders, and strands of his hair stick to the side of his face from his wet hair.

but it's the best smile you've ever seen in your life— even if it's an optimistic smile during the zombie apocalypse.

— the first time getting a key to their place.

patrols with scaramouche are usually quiet and full of action— rather than words, you guys are creeping around the corners, avoiding zombies slouching in the streets, and looking for new buildings for supplies while strolling together on the sidewalks.

there are only small words exchanged here and there and most of the time you are the one starting the small talk. however, sometimes (although rarely) scaramouche will be the one who starts up the conversation.

you're in the middle of trying to peer into a window when you jolt at scaramouche suddenly asking, "you know how my apartment is in the next few streets over, right?"

"holy crap," you breathe out, turning around and shooting scaramouche a dirty look. "did you have to suddenly talk like that?"

blankly ignoring your question, he continues. "ever since dottore succeeded in the antidote, the number of zombies have died down a lot. do you want to go check out that side of the neighborhood?"

suddenly at his words, you perk up and grin. "wait, really? do you even have your keys with you?"

your face brightens up with curiosity when he pulls a key out of his pocket, swinging the chain back and forth in front of you.

"this apartment complex looks way too nice for surviving a zombie apocalypse," you mention, your hand carefully touching the outside wall of the building as you walk towards the main entrance with scaramouche. you turn your head towards him, but also keep your eye open to be wary of any remaining zombies, even if dottore got most of them with his work-in-progress antidote.

"the landlord was able to lock the door to the stairs that only the residents have the key to, but when the apocalypse started it wasn't like we were going to take our time and unlock the doors with zombie roaming around," he explained, stopping in front of the bottom floor entrance and opening it. there were no zombies in the first floor when you guys walked in. "i was out during the time the apocalypse started, so some people might still be in their apartments."

"oh god, i hope they're still alive if that's even possible," you say, following scaramouche to a a locked door (which you suppose is the door one of his keys can unlock). "how'd you know the landlord originally locked the door?"

"dottore and i ran into him during a patrol a while ago before you joined our hideout." you watch as he unlocks the door and lets you go first, also reminding you to still be careful with a nod of his head. "he explained that he locked the door in a panic for the safety of our residents, but didn't think about the fact of them running out of resources later on."

you hummed in acknowledgement as you climbed up the stairs, scaramouche not too far behind you. "maybe we can save some of the residents if there are any left," you say. "what floor is your apartment on?"

"the third, right here." one of his hands go to hold your shoulder still while the other reaches to open the door to the third floor in front of you. you peek your head in, taking careful note of how quiet it is. "my apartment should be the second to last one down the hallway, if i remember correctly." you cautiously step onto the floor and follow his instructions, looking for his apartment door.

when you find it and scaramouche confirms that it's his, you grin and spread your arms. "well here we are," you speak, standing in front his door. some part of you wonders if he feels a bit solemnly nostalgic seeing his old apartment again after all those months, but the other part of you also knows he's especially good at not showing his emotions. you turn to him, the key in his hand and his face as expressionless as ever. "are we gonna head in?"

"actually," you raise your eyebrows in confusion as scaramouche turns towards you, key in his hand and almost an amused type of look now on his face. "want to unlock it and take a look?"

your mouth opens and closes in slight surprise. you keep a composed face on as you say a small sure, but your heart undeniably races as you take the key in one hand and hold the doorknob in the other.

although you have been dating scaramouche for a few months now, you don't know much about him; he doesn't talk much about himself and seems to rather ask you about yourself more. what would his apartment look like? is he neat or a leaving everything around type of guy? does he decorate the walls and his room? what's his style of design? what would he even decorate his room with?

"what would you do if childe or la signora was here?" you can't help but curiously ask, hesitantly entering the key into the lock and unlocking the door—you can't help but wonder if he would trust the others into his apartment too, despite you being his romantic partner. the unlocked door makes a click sound and you wait for scaramouche's answer to unlock the door.

your mind races and your face heats up a bit as he simply states, "nothing. i wouldn't let them in unless it was only the two of us here. why?"

"just wondering," you quickly hum and nudge open the door, walking inside and hoping for a change of topic as you observe his home in awe.

but the thought of liking the sound of "only the two of us" remains on your mind.

— the first time waking up next to them.

during the zombie apocalypse whenever you couldn't sleep, scaramouche always sat down next to you while giving comforting touches here and there to get you to sleep. whenever you woke up in the morning, though, he was never there; always being the up-and-early morning person he was and talking with dottore outside the hideout.

now that the zombie apocalypse is over, though, you wake up ecstatic instead of tired—because you have never seen scaramouche look so peaceful, and now you can after the wreck of months you guys have been through.

his slight mess of bed hair makes him look more adorable rather than his usual attractive type of look. his eyelashes cascading a shadow over his close eyelids make him look more tranquil and restful. you can see his chest calmly heaving up and down with slow breaths, and his hand holding the blanket to his side.

you carefully reach out your hand and tuck a few of his hair strands to the side so you can admire his face even better, and you don't even jolt in surprise like you usually do around him when his eyelids slowly open and catch you in the act. you still brush your hands gently through his hair before pulling your hand back, tucking it underneath into the warmth of the blanket.

"i didn't say stop," he tiredly spoke, and your heart melts at hearing the sound of his sleepy morning voice for the first time. you can only sheepishly grin like an idiot in return, hugging the blanket closer as well and wrapping your mind around the fact that this is actually happening.

"nice bed hair," you speak gently, with a small additional yawn. "it looks cute on you, maybe even perfect."

"i can say the same about you," scaramouche chuckles in return. he can only watch in adoration as you yawn again and close your eyes, while tiredly speaking.

"that was the best sleep i've ever had since the start of everything," you speak, stretching your arms out to relax your limbs. "i can't believe it's finally over after everything—dottore must be having the time of his life on the news for creating the zombie antidote. so happy for him."

"you're tired, just go back to sleep," scaramouche blankly states, but there's definitely a smile on his face as he watches you talk practically in your sleep. "we can talk about it later."

"yeah, yeah, whatever," you tiredly mumble and rub your eyes, trying to keep them open. your urge to stay awake to admire a peaceful looking scaramouche runs incredibly strong, but the weight on your shoulders from the exhaustion of the whole situation still idly remains on your shoulders.

scaramouche can't help but chuckle when you open your mouth to try to talk again, only to snore away.

sincerely,

yours truly (part one). / sincerely (part two).

premise: your diligent efforts to uncover the identity of your secret admirer had ultimately amounted to nothing. in fact, your investigations only raised more questions — your companions' strange behaviors and shifty-eyed gazes hadn't completely escaped from your awareness, not to mention you've become... privy to some of their affections...

and what is the last thing you need while trying to search for one person who liked you? more people to like you, of course!

but that is exactly what you receive. (goddamn it all.)

includes: zhongli, kaeya, scaramouche, itto & the real secret admirer !

note: oh god i have done it. it's even longer than the other one but since this is the 10k celebration fic, it's only rightfully so! i hope you enjoy this... likes and reblogs are appreciated <33 please read the first part if you haven't already!

zhongli:

all things considered, zhongli is an unrelated figure to your personal issues, not particularly concerned with such trifling matters. you lived worlds apart, and he's generally preoccupied by his own studies anyway, too absorbed in his thesis to mind who has a crush on who and whatnot.

yet it seems as if fate is intent on pulling you two together whether you like it or not.

you belong in different majors, your lecture halls on opposite sides of campus, and he's an upperclassman. not to mention the upperclassman everyone looks up to, the senior equivalent of albedo. though he holds an air of benevolence and warmth, he's unapproachable in the way nobody would dare impose themselves in fear of bothering him with their presence.

professors only speak of his name in accordance with endless words of praise, and legend has it that any paper he proofreads is guaranteed to receive a high grade... not that anyone could confirm it, since nobody has been gifted that luxury.

except for you, of course, living the y/n life — you'd been slaving away on your assignments per usual at diluc's cafe when, in a moment of misfortune, zhongli had crashed into a waiter and spilled his coffee on your papers, soaking pale sheets in brown splatters and smudging the inked sentences you'd painstakingly written for the past hour.

if only your laptop hadn't run out of battery, you wouldn't have resorted to drafting with pen and paper. or you could have done your work in a later date instead of being productive for nothing. fuck.

witnessing your expression crumpled to disbelief and misery, zhongli apologized through offering his assistance in doing your assignment with you. and oh boy, he did it well. it was better than what you could've ever done, the insight he provided beyond profound. he was humble even as you showered him with compliments, still looking quite apologetic for the fiasco he caused.

and. right. it could've ended there. after that occasion, you would wave at him if you passed by each other at the hallways, but that's where the extent of your relationship ended, a pair of underclassman and upperclassman who'd known each other once.

but of course it's never that easy.

he pops up when you least expect it, running into you frequently even though the rumors articulated “you'd hardly get a glimpse of him since he's busy all the time” clearly. and he's acquainted with people you know well, just that you never paid attention to it; keqing seems to respect him a lot, so does xiao, ganyu perks up whenever he's brought up in conversations, and childe sticks to him when given the opportunity. perhaps it was only a matter of time that you begin a friendship with him as well...

but what's up with these horribly timed drama tropes you keep experiencing with him?!

bumping into him and dropping your books to the floor so he offers to walk you to the library, locked into a room when a professor asks you to collect materials for class with him and the door has a faulty knob, getting photographed by a student while you study in the same table and everyone assumes you're dating,,

you've been seeing far too much of him.

everyone's patience has been wearing thin. xiao tries his best to keep his annoyance at bay but fails. childe has resorted to bribing zhongli for free lunch to lead him away from you. albedo straight up drags you to the opposite direction whenever he spots zhongli within vicinity.

but it's like there's a force of nature compelling you to stick right back to him.

hosting events for college fests had never been your kind of thing, but attention follows you if you're acquainted with famous people, and keqing was unwilling to be an emcee if she didn't have a friend alongside her to act as a second host. of course, that meant everyone was deadset on dragging you with her.

you're not very keen on standing on a stage to face the whole school like a kid participating in a talent show, but you've never been good at saying “no” to your friends.

hence why you find yourself clutching on a microphone now, blinded by bright stage lights. you would much prefer if you were part of the audience. or if you were in ayaka's place instead, holding up cue cards behind the curtains.

there's some kind of beauty pageant going on, a popularity contest for the prettiest people in uni. votes are collected via online polls, and you're tasked to reveal the top 10. you don't doubt for a second your friends will all join you on stage eventually, and you've already asked ganyu to drag xiao up the platform if he tries to escape. sweeping off a piece of confetti by your shoulder, you flip open the folden paper in your hand and announce the winning names.

zhongli steps up as one of the candidates for first place and you faintly hear gasps of awe and high pitched squeals.

you nod at him in acknowledgement, and he returns the gesture in kind. you head on over to hand him a mic of his own, keqing busying herself by doing the same job for other contestants, and...

in your carelessness, distracted by fumbling with the paper in your hand to hide it back inside your pocket, you trip over an electrical cord.

you've been waiting the entire night for the time where you'll eventually embarrass yourself in front of a crowd. perhaps a voice crack in what's supposed to be a tense situation, a stutter in your words, falling off a stage even, but here it is, even more horrifying than what you could've imagined.

squeezing your eyes shut instinctively, you brace yourself for the hard surface to tumble onto. instead, what meets you is something squishy, someone's hands gripping around your shoulders, and-

FUCK. you banged your knees on the ground.

the first thing to pop in your mind is a myriad of swears that could stun a sailor.

the second is the oddly plush surface your lips had landed on.

the third is the sight of widened golden eyes. they look very familiar. but you'd rather not think about who they belong to.

the ugly screech of the microphone dropping to the floor is drowned out by gasps, yelling, and the scandalized choke of keqing behind you. xiao — who did end up being a contender for the stupid popularity contest and is standing only a few meters away, makes an alarming noise that could trigger a person's fight or flight reaction.

you hastily attempt to rise to your feet, but the floor is slippery what the actual fuck, and zhongli, oh for fuck's sake, innocent and oblivious zhongli grabs your hips to keep you steady.

.....of course the accidental kiss and caught in a compromising position tropes were going to happen eventually.

kaeya:

“it's from me.”

your gaze travels from the fresh, new bouquet of flowers emitting a sweet fragrance lying in your arms, and the face of the man currently standing before you, lips curled in what seems to be a supposedly reassuring smile.

“you mean... this and the carnations last time?”

his lips are still firmly quirking upwards, admirably patient in spite of reiterating the same phrase over and over again whenever probed with your repetitive questions.

still, he doesn't quite give off the impression of someone deeply infatuated.

and okay, not to be narcissistic, but you expected a secret admirer to... well, admire you more, yet this person looks as nonchalant as ever.

and he doesn't look like the type to profess love through subtle means. at all.

you'll be blunt. you've heard of kaeya. who hasn't? whether it be of mischief, or something more scandalous in nature, he's more or less always involved with trouble, gossip about him traveling fast. it may be an insane prank in the boys' dormitory or someone he bedded (who's supposedly out of everyone's league, yet fell for his charms so easily), you hear of his name quite often.

it's just that you didn't expect you'd associate yourself with him...

and if you have at least two brain cells to rub together, you can easily piece together the conclusion: this guy is definitely talking out of his ass.

nobody has ever heard of kaeya pining over someone so badly that he personally sent bouquets and other small gifts to appease them, admiring them from the shadows. it's so clearly not his style. if he likes someone, he'd flirt with them a bit and cleverly worm his way into their heart, and absolutely not give away presents expecting nothing in return.

but if he's not your secret admirer, then for what reason is he pretending like he is?

you want to seek the truth, and playing along for the meantime sounds like the best option. and this may draw out the real secret admirer, the sly part of you voices internally.

thinking it'll be rude to turn him down publicly (since of course he initiated this exchange in the middle of a crowd, and that only gives you more reason to doubt him), you decide to see how things go first.

if anything, this whole “wooing” business with kaeya seems like it's done out of spite. does he have a bone to pick with you? or he made one of those stupid “it'll only take a week for you to fall for me” bets with his friends? hopefully not, because that's terribly out of trend.

your indifferent responses do nothing to deter him from sticking to you like glue though, doing this and that to earn your favor. he's... not doing anything wrong, actually. if you didn't know any better, you'd think he's like any other eager guy who wants to receive your love.

he does a great job of remembering what things you like and dislike, making a habit of inviting you out for a meal in your favorite restaurants every now and then or taking note of what movies you're looking forward to so you could watch it in the cinema together.

... it feels more like hanging out with normal friends now.

kaeya eases into the idea of that notion, too, insisting on meeting you outside of his shady “i'm your secret admirer” business. it doesn't take too long until you begin to reach out to him as well, inviting him to go shopping with you to look at jewelry together (and dear lord, does kaeya know how to accessorize) or giving him a ticket to the amusement park when kokomi bails on you. (“so i' m just a rebound? a back-up plan?” kaeya arches a questioning brow, acting deeply hurt to provoke a reaction. you smack his shoulder and he laughs in mirth.)

(he definitely tries for the “let's go to the haunted house so you can cling to me when you're scared” cliche but fails. why does he feel disappointed though...)

if given more time, maybe the time would come where you'll both just shrug off the secret admirer thing and continue on normally as friends. it'll be the last thing on your minds, a joke that never had a punchline. just some prank kaeya didn't see through the end.

but then it resurfaces when kaeya had already given you your daily dose of coffee — yes, he somehow knows the secret recipe you like, something you plan to ask him about later — but another cup is waiting at your desk, its once warm temperature turning lukewarm.

you inspect it, judging for yourself, and you confirm it's the same recipe you like.

so this one is from the real secret admirer then, the one who's still hiding in the shadows. that, or this recipe is just popular.

the people residing in the same room as you observe the scene with interest, because apparently your romance drama became a spectator sport, stares pinned in kaeya's direction.

you knew he was a fraud from the very start, but others do not, and he's not sure what to say.

someone else makes the excuse for him. “do you have another person who likes you, [name]?” amber asks innocently, essentially saving kaeya's ass without her realizing it. you let your gaze shift from her to kaeya.

“...maybe.” you place the two cups of coffee side-by-side, feigning nonchalance.

if the real secret admirer found out that someone's pretending to be him, this must be his way of saying kaeya's a fraud in front of everyone. after all, if he was actually the secret admirer, there'd be no need for kaeya to give you another cup when he'd already placed one on top of your desk.

and a couple of people already know who the real one is, anyway. xiao just doesn't want to tell you.

kaeya sends what seems to be a longing gaze your way but ends up turning away to head to his own classroom. he'd only offered to walk you towards yours, and you didn't share classes. it gives you more time to ponder how to confront him.

you didn't have to. he explained things himself.

it comes in the time you least expect, a peaceful lunch like any other. he suddenly arrived at your table, tray in hand, and sat opposite of you. “it's not me,” is the first thing he says, no context at all. he admits the obvious truth and you shovel more food in your mouth in your hopes of hiding how curious you are for what else he has to say.

“but i know who's been giving you flowers... and the coffee. also the chocolate the other day. i helped him pick out the presents, actually.” and that's where you choke because that's not what you were expecting at all.

“he was considering sending a love letter, but i told him you'd recognize his handwriting because you know him very well. and he refused to give a printed letter because he thought it was 'lacking' and you deserved better than that.” he scoffed at the thought. “and that's cute of him. endearing, if you will. but he seriously pissed me off last month and i wanted to mess with him a bit.”

“so you... tried to date the person he likes?” your expression sours. that's a dick move. he immediately shakes his head, as if to say perish the thought.

“not that. i knew for a fact you wouldn't like me anyway. i was just teasing him,” kaeya huffs. “and he got angry at me. well, it's a justified reaction. but i didn't plan on keeping up the charade for long. i only wanted to fool around for a few days.”

“and then?”

“...i missed the timing to pass it off as a joke. then we started to hang out like friends. but i assured him that you didn't actually think i was the real secret admirer, so he forgave me as long as i... do some work for him.”

oh. he's right about that though. and that also explains why kaeya looked so tired recently, helping out a friend with his project as a sincere apology.

“does he plan on revealing his identity anytime soon?” you can't help but ask, your eager eyes betraying the nonchalance in your voice. kaeya sighs at that, leaning back on his chair and crossing his arms.

“i've been trying to convince him to. it's exhausting to look at him flailing about like an idiot. he talks about you all the time.” he frowns at the way your cheeks color. “you should try luring him out.”

you tilt your head in question. to show his point, he reaches out his arm, grabbing your hand. you let him do as he pleases, even as he brings the spoonful of your meal to his lips, and takes a bite out of it.

distantly, you hear a metal clatter against the floor and a voice cry out in surprise. you turn your head towards the noise, and you see—

the hell. it's just bennett tripping.

... but it's not like bennett dropped a metal utensil or anything. he is the one who cried out, though.

“wrong direction, sweetheart. you were supposed to look at the right. what a shame, you didn't see him picking up his fork like a fool.” kaeya laughs, releasing your hand from his grip.

he seems strangely reluctant in doing so, but you decide not to look further into it.

scaramouche:

at best, he is an unwilling spectator.

emphasis on “unwilling” because he truly does not wish to see you. like at all. you're pretty sure he hates your guts, but he'd amassed a lifetime's worth of misfortune and keeps seeing you... and the guys around you.

it's safe to say if your love life was turned into a k-drama, he'd probably seen the entire series.

he'd walked in on you when childe confessed he likes you, purple eyes narrowed into a sharp glare before he turned on his heel and left the room. he'd seen the way xiao looks at you, starstruck and excruciatingly fond, because of course scaramouche sat beside him in class (long, long ago they settled a mutual agreement to not speak to each other unless necessary, even if they hadn't verbally discussed it). he'd seen you at diluc's cafe, too, when diluc poured coffee at the angry customer. scaramouche's clothes were stained, as he was the customer sitting beside your table.

he'd seen you with kazuha when kazuha came to pick you up in the rain. he'd seen albedo draw sketches of you in the corner of his notes. he'd seen thoma with you while out for grocery shopping. he'd seen gorou follow after you not unlike a loyal puppy.

he's, reasonably, tired of seeing your stupid face and your stupid harem and he hates you.

by the looks of it, none of your friends like him. especially mona. she had a few arguments with him already. they didn't mix well, and scaramouche liked poking fun of the astrology she loved, a firm disbeliever of such things. “how is my birthday supposed to dictate my personality? or my relationship status? is this fortune-telling? tell me, then. what's my lucky color for the day-” and he only shut up when mona landed a clean kick to his shin.

...yeah. he's kind of an asshole. the type to scowl 24/7, glare at you for no reason, and bump into you without apologizing. then when you do try to make small talk to alleviate the awkward atmosphere, he scoffs and pointedly ignores you.

but you can't blame him for finding you and... the guys following you irritating. you imagine it must be an eyesore for outsiders. there's already quite a bit of rumors about you going around seducing men (and women, you add, because apparently you can't be friends with pretty girls without having those kinds of intentions... and yoimiya and ayaka could be somewhat touchy) and rumors are almost always wildly changed with each pass of gossip from one person to another.

of course your friends don't believe it one bit and are ready 24/7 to defend your honor, but scaramouche is very obviously not your friend, and he may regard you with something less than pleasing.

it's only understandable you're caught by surprise when you chance upon him picking a fight with people badmouthing you, shoving a boy to the wall with brute force you wouldn't expect from someone his size. (you berate yourself for making fun of his height in this kind of situation.)

“shut the fuck up,” scaramouche drawls out, fisting the boy's shirt collar. “your voice is grating to the ears. surely, you have better things to do than yap nonsensical bullshit out in the open?”

“what's your fucking problem?!” the guy responds, panicking within his grip. “it's not like we were talking about you! don't think so highly of yourself!”

that prompts a scoff from him, and he tightens his hold on the boy's collar. he immediately shuts his mouth, thinking it better not to retaliate. scaramouche's glare promises something beyond simple violence if he continued to act prideful.

somwhat satisfied by the fear glistening in the guy's eyes, scaramouche finally releases him. “scram.”

the group runs off, and you quickly duck behind a wall to hide from his sight as he walks away. you're not sure what to feel, conflicted by his usual prick demeanor and shockingly kind(?) actions behind the scenes.

unfortunately, your confusion reflects directly on your face. after a handful of times catching you staring at him, he finally snaps, “what do you want.”

your expression twists into something complex, and scaramouche's frown deepens. “uh... no, it's nothing, really...”

“you've been looking at me all day. do you take me for a fool?”

your face sours. so much for planning to thank him. maybe he didn't stand up for you and actually just found the noisy gossiping annoying enough to choke a guy and pin him to the wall. if it's scaramouche, it isn't too far-fetched at all.

and what were you going to say to him, anyway? it's not like he explicitly stated he did it for you. it would be beyond mortifying if you thanked him for it and he clarified that little detail, thinking you were stuck-up enough to assume the world revolves around you.

... no, that's too much overthinking, isn't it...

“well?” scaramouche impatiently taps his foot, raising an eyebrow expectantly. you hold back a defeated sigh and decide to stay put.

“sorry if i made you uncomfortable. i was, um, looking at...” who does he sit with again? “xiao!” you mentally apologize to your friend, using his name as an excuse.

impossibly, he becomes more irate than before, his taps ceasing into a calm quiet. the silence pierces more than the tense conversation prior.

without another word, he walks away.

...well. okay. that was safely evaded.

life continues on per usual. you don't interact for the next week, and you want to leave it at that.

except your life is a joke. a romantic comedy you never wanted to be a part of.

...you're assigned to a group project. with him. with childe too, no less. the childe who confessed his love to you not too long ago and you still have problems wrapping your head around it, not sure how to talk with him like you did before.

amidst this drama, scaramouche is stuck smack dab between you. he's unquestionably furious.

he's present when childe looks at you in the same excruciating way xiao does. he's present when childe tries to make jokes to ease off the tension, and it doesn't work in the slightest. he's present in the lingering gazes, awkward pauses when you graze fingers as you hand materials to each other, and reluctant conversations that never last any longer than seven clipped sentences.

scaramouche feels wronged. had he committed a war crime in his past life to deserve this despair?

and you. you just want to get this over with. collect information, make a powerpoint, and present in front of the whole class. easier said than done.

the three of you together doesn't sit right with you, but left with only two isn't any better either. childe and scaramouche don't get along if you leave them long enough for an argument to brew. scaramouche hates you and doesn't fill the silence when childe leaves for a bathroom break. childe tries too hard to talk when scaramouche leaves for a coffee break.

when the first day of working together ends, you nearly cry tears of joy.

“i can walk you home,” childe offers out of goodwill. it's certainly not because he has other intentions in mind, he's just concerned since it is pretty late.

“we take the same bus,” scaramouche speaks, for the first time joining your conversation. “we can go together.”

childe smiles in relief, lifting a hand to ruffle your hair. then he stills. old habits die hard. damn.

for his sake, you don't comment on it. you walk out of the library, scaramouche in tow.

the stroll to the empty bus stop isn't a comfortable one, but at the very least, you're accompanied by an acquaintance and you don't have to feel anxious being alone. you take a seat as you wait but scaramouche chooses to remain standing, placing a fair amount of distance between you.

“...you haven't made up?”

his voice is small, almost swallowed by the howling winds. you're surprised he wants to talk about it, but you laugh. “we didn't fight or anything.”

“fighting would've been better,” he replies. “an apology could still repair your relationship. but there's nothing you can do if you don't see him that way, and he can't see you as a friend.”

you look down at your feet, heels resting firmly against the pavement. “yes... it's tricky. i don't know how to act around him. i don't want to hurt him, but... maybe not rejecting him is painful, too.”

“then turn him down properly.”

“it's not that easy...”

“would you rather him still have hopes for a chance with you and eventually get disappointed instead of dealing with it once and for all?”

he makes an excellent point. it's reasonable enough... but you don't know how to bring it up with childe. not now. not yet. you'll have to think about it properly, the way to reject him with the least amount of discomfort from his side.

“receiving relationship advice from you... if someone told me this would happen today, i'd think they've gone mad.” you chuckle. “do you deal with friends whining about hardships like these often?”

“apparently, they think of me — someone who has no interest in dating — as the perfect person to consult for relationship problems.”

“hm? you don't date? do you like anyone, at least?”

he gives you a look. it's perfectly blank, devoid of his usual arrogance or irritation. you blink at him, the pause in the conversation stretching too long to be comfortable.

“you could say that. but i don't... try things i know won't work out.”

“...like?”

he rolls his eyes. “think about it this way.” he removes his hands from his pockets, approaching your seated figure. he comes startlingly close, mere centimeters away, and his fingers curl around your wrist. your lips part and close, and you wonder if he's trying to kiss your knuckles-

“if i told you now that i like you, with this many people who like you too, there's no way i'd win, is there?”

it's an example, you tell yourself. you asked him a question and he answered it.

“...so the one you like is popular...”

but his gaze looking directly into your eyes is too earnest, too honest. sincere. light reflects against the violet pools, a turbulent storm clouding within.

you neither nod nor shake your head. the bus arrives and you scramble to get on it.

scaramouche pulls you by the wrist when you nearly trip over the small set of stairs, leading you to a pair of seats. if you have something to be grateful for, it's that he doesn't try to talk anymore, using the pair of headphones resting by his neck for the rest of the ride.

itto:

itto barges into your life in a whirlwind of chaos.

it comes in the form of a stray volleyball plummeting towards your back, and the sheer force behind it knocks the wind out of your lungs. your knees buckle and you kneel on the floor, heaving violent gasps of air. the searing pain makes you wonder if you broke your spine.

distantly, a screech bellows from the court. a figure almost flies past the gymnasium's doors to check on your condition. “are you okay?!” it's gorou, you realize, his eyes blown wide with panic.

you don't want to worry him and say you feel as if you've permanently shattered a bone, but your back hurts like a bitch and you tell him so, “fuck me with a hammer, did a bowling ball crash into me or something?”

he ignores your interesting choice of words and answers, “my friends and i were playing volleyball, i'm so sorry! we didn't see you there at all!”

you steer your sight to the gymnasium entrance and oh my god. the doors aren't especially massive, and one of them is even closed, so what are the chances you walk past the small space and precisely get slammed by a stray ball? it's gotta be lower than a five star drop in gacha.

“can you stand?” gorou holds up a hand for you to take but you really can't move away from your fetal position without an explosion of ache jolting through your body. he's three seconds away from offering to carry you when someone else beats him to it.

“did you get hurt?!” a blur of white hair passes through your eyes, and you blink up at an unfamiliar man. gorou's friend, you're guessing, most likely the one who injured you too — that powerful force from the volleyball could only come from someone like him. tall, athletic, muscular. he's ripped. shredded. probably tore your muscle fibers too.

you don't let the pain cloud your mind. he didn't mean to kill you, you remind yourself. you stretch your lips into a smile, but it may just look like a grimace.

however, with a gentleness you didn't expect from him, he carefully hoists you on his back. oh. he's strong. and really warm.

...sticky with sweat too, but you'll try not to mind it too much...

“i'll carry you to the infirmary!”

your brain clears up from the haze of agony. “...wait, you don't have to-” before you get another word in, he rushes to the clinic, and you bypass many, many people. you settle for hiding your face as best as you can.

after proper treatment, he gives you a serious apology. you learn his name is itto, and you instantly recognize him. you've heard of the name itto before, that one popular student on a sports scholarship for basketball, but he's known more for goofing off with other sports teams. he's broken a lot of windows when he played baseball... and probably also broke bones of other people when he roughhoused too much on the soccer field. it's just that he's insanely talented, enough for most people to overlook his troublesome tendencies.

anyhow, famous or infamous, you can't tell yet. but he's very much willing to make up for your injury.

a free meal would honestly suffice just fine, but even after that, he insists on following you around, offering his assistance whenever needed. and, well. you have no problems with having an extra hand to help when you need to carry heavy equipment.

then he learns about the whole secret admirer thing and he proposes he'll help you lure him out.

“and how do you intend to do that...?” you inquire just as you enter the lecture hall, itto trailing after you and setting your bag on the table. his face splits into a grin and you have a vague idea of what he plans on doing.

he wraps an arm around your shoulders and tugs you close to his chest.

several things happen at once. a huff leaves xiao's mouth involuntarily. the crack of pencil lead breaking into pieces sounds from beside him, scaramouche holding the pen in his hand with too much force. the laughter ringing seconds prior comes to a halt, childe's face no longer displaying a bright smile.

itto blinks, retracting his arm. he didn't expect this outcome. “you have really overprotective friends, [name].”

as one would expect, you never got the results you want because too much people react to his provocations. it's tricky to pinpoint which one of them exactly is your secret admirer when they all like you the same. (this whole situation is truly absurd. it's not that you fed all these guys love potions by accident, right?)

itto doesn't dare upsetting gorou with this though, but with anyone else, it's free game. he begins calling you the most ridiculous pet names he could come up with, in the wrong place and in the wrong time.

my precious cupcake. my sweetest honeybun. little ducky. snugglepuff. they send shivers down your spine. (albedo is noted to be most affected when itto does this. it's not hard to imagine his brain cells frying when itto shamelessly calls you by such awful names.)

but then it becomes a habit. he's not doing it ironically anymore. his mouth had become accustomed to addressing you in manners only lovers do. more often than not, your friends would be caught by surprise when he wholeheartedly calls out “babe” to earn your attention and you turn towards him as if it's like the most natural thing in the world.

the cherry on top is when you attend one of his games for the basketball team.

it's not like you wore his varsity jacket to rub into everyone's faces the fact that you're dating. nor did you wear a cheerleader outfit of some sorts to show your passionate support as his significant other. you'd only come with gorou and kokomi, waving the banner the three of you made into the air as you were seated in the stands along the sides of the court.

when they won the finals, people on your side all rejoiced, flocking over to the team to praise them and offer their congratulations. thinking it would be better to stand by instead of joining the sweaty crowd, you stood aside with kokomi while gorou insisted on diving headfirst to the sea of people.

then a tall head approaches from afar. white hair, bright eyes, and a similarly blinding smile. “[name]!”

you didn't expect him to come to you. well. spares you the effort then. you throw a towel around his neck. “you're drenched in sweat. please don't touch me.”

he frowns. “not even a congratulatory hug?”

“not when you're this gross.”

at least that wasn't a stern no. itto grins. “wasn't i great out there?” he cards his fingers into his hair, fishing for compliments. you thought he had enough of those from the crowd currently swarming him. “i did a ton of 3 pointers. you saw me, right?”

“would you be disappointed if i said i was on my phone the whole time?”

immediately, his face twists into an offended look. of course that was a lie. you laugh and lean on the tips of your toes to reach his hair, ruffling it into a mess. “kidding. you were amazing, babe.”

that moment, you hadn't seen his expression clearly, occupied with patting his head. perhaps you hadn't even realized what you called him.

but to everyone around you, they could see it, plain to the eye — the shock in his gaze, the small twitch of his lips, the rise of his brows. then his cheeks flush a lovely color as he stares at you under his lashes with a hesitance as one would look at the sun, longing to admire its radiance yet afraid to be scorched by its brilliant rays.

he takes the leap anyways, staring at you as long as he wanted.

a lovestruck fool, keen to your touch.

your secret admirer.

relatively speaking, it's an ordinary day so far.

or as ordinary as it can be with a life as silly as yours. the past few weeks didn't feel real. you wish they weren't. everything has become too complicated. everyone kept on acting suspiciously and skirting around you, avoiding eye contact only to observe you from behind.

your day starts out seeing thoma when you open your front door, both of you telling each other good morning. you pass by kazuha having breakfast at a fast food joint. then you run into itto first thing in the morning, where he gladly helps in carrying a 3d model of your project into class. kaeya swings by to bring you coffee since you didn't get a chance to visit diluc's cafe, not having the extra hand to carry among the pile you already have. you make your daily greetings, saying hi to your friends and annoying xiao, as you always do. you nod towards scaramouche, and you even had enough courage to say hi first to childe too. when walking to another lecture hall, you happen to meet albedo, gorou and zhongli in separate times.

then at lunch time, when you briefly leave your belongings alone for a moment, someone leaves a packet of candies stuffed into your bag.

a sticky note is stuck on the surface, “please meet me at the physics classroom at 6 p.m.” scrawled in black ink.

the penmanship is good. it twists in elegant curls at the edges, brush strokes light and even.

you're able to recognize it at first glance, just as kaeya has told you.

you've seen it enough times to burn it in your brain. you've rigorously studied notes with that same handwriting, after all.

at 5:56, you stand in front of the classroom doors. in different circumstances, you'd have second thoughts before blindly following somebody's orders but you know who it's from, and it is decidedly not a murderer out to get you.

you collect an intake of breath, and twist the doorknob.

the last traces of sunlight bathe the room in a heavenly glow, a haze of aureate like shimmering flecks of gold. the billowing curtains hide the figure standing by the windowsill, the gentle breeze caressing your cheeks as you squint in its direction.

the figure moves of their accord, the sound of a book snapping shut following their actions.

albedo walks out, a serene smile displaying on his sun-kissed face.

“...hey.”

your heartbeat pounds in your ears. though you expected his appearance, it does nothing to dull your surprise.

“it's you.”

albedo had always admired you in quiet adoration.

he can't provide a clear explanation why his gaze is naturally drawn to you, turquoise eyes sweeping by your countenance before he realizes it. but it started out simple, as everything does: a curiosity piqued, when he heard of a person tagging along the supposedly unapproachable girls in school.

gossip comes and goes every season, and albedo knew it will pass soon. it's only a matter of time before they cling to another topic to babble about. most likely something kaeya did again, because he chases after trouble like a dog with a bone.

rumors are nasty. they paint you in malicious light, a person seeking attention among the most eye-catching lot. you wished you were on the same league as them, they said. you were only after the benefits of acquainting with those girls, they said.

but you were special on your own.

the way you carried yourself with confidence, against the judgmental stares and muddled opinions. the way you hadn't cared about what other people said, because you knew best about the situation and you were different from what they made you out to be. the way you genuinely loved your friends, sincerely wishing them happiness and doing everything you can to put a smile on their faces.

you were dazzling.

your laughter rang like bells in his ears, your grin a delight to see. your voice was melodious as you prattled on about the latest film you watched, or as you hummed a song with headphones covering your ears. your colorful expressions were amusing, a reflection of the feelings in your heart.

as the professor drones out during lessons, albedo finds himself distracted by his daydreams. what if he stood beside you? what if he could partake in conversations, not only able to hear your voice but you'd also hear his? what if he was the one faced with your smile, the reason of your smile, the one who made you feel such joy?

what if you permitted him to go further? to brush hands with you, to intertwine your fingers in simple intimacy, to curl his arms around your waist in a loose embrace, to press a kiss on the corner of your lips-

his ears burned in humiliation. what on earth was he thinking?

but forget “seeking attention from others,” it didn't even seem like you were interested in dating.

you showed indifference towards the idea, avoiding mixers and drinking parties. you also turned down quite a few dates. not to mention albedo wasn't even friends with you. he wasn't even sure if you knew of his name.

then you showed up at the library, and for the first time, albedo was thankful for the privilege nobody bothered his table, so you could sit alone together.

you became friends after his (despairingly embarrassing) insistent attempts to acquaint himself with you.

and he files away the little details, storing the small things about you in the corner of his mind. what you like, what you dislike. what days were you free, what things you prefer over the other.

it's a happiness he relishes in, the comfort of your friendship. but his greedy little heart yearns for more, for what you cannot give.

he tries anyway.

he's running out of time. you're always surrounded by people, whether you realize it or not. but he considers himself a selfish person. he doesn't want you to be taken away.

he may lose you entirely if he does it wrong.

but you're already here, eyes gleaming, lips pressed in a nervous tight line. the red dusting your cheeks leaves some hope for him, so he musters up his courage and simplifies the storm of feelings that eats away his heart each day:

“i like you, [name].”

anyways while im halfway through this fic, here’s a random flashback to that time a xiao main suddenly entered my world

player: I’m here

player: I’m finally home

me: um hi??

player: Hi

me: do u need anything in my world?

me: ur free to get whatever you need :>

player: You

(me inside: what the ✨faq✨ well that escalated quickly)