Latest Posts by mug-beer - Page 2

Heavy and Sniper Headcanons. Because there's literally no one talking about them :c

(they can be romantic or platonic, I don't care. I just wanted to write something about them)

They are good friends even if no one realizes. They like to spend time together in silence, sitting next to each other for long hours is comforting. They are accompanied by a good friend but they do not have the need to engage in a long and uncomfortable conversation.

Sniper doesn't usually read much, but he has some favorite books. Heavy isn't a big fan of Sniper's books, but he appreciates the original style and can understand what Sniper sees as special about those books. Sniper feels important that a person with a PhD in literature praises his tastes in literature (even though Heavy does it more out of commitment than because he really likes Sniper's books)

Heavy doesn't often see Sniper on the battlefield. But Sniper regularly checks if there is no Spy stalking Heavy (Spoiler, Spy was behind Sniper this whole time)

Since they both live in places far from where they work, when they have vacations that aren't long enough to make the round trip, they prefer to go hunting together. They usually camp, get fresh air, leave the confines of the base for a while and the most fun, hunt! Sniper is still proud of the time he shot a bear to death (Heavy helped him find the perfect spot, but he preferred to give all the credit to Sniper because he likes to see Sniper happy and excited)

Sniper is used to whispering and Heavy still has to think about his words before speak (speaks slowly). Listening to them talk makes everyone sleepy, but they like to be able to talk to someone who isn't yelling (like Soldier)

Nobody believes that Heavy and Sniper are gossips because they are both quiet people. Nobody knows that between the two of them they know every gossip in the base.

Sniper becomes an Ice block in winter and Heavy melts in summer. They make fun of each other for not being able to withstand extreme temperatures.

rate the vegemite sandvich fit

STOP HERE IF YOU LIKE TF2 LESBIANS

okay so I saw a really kool post by lennylink on Twitter/X ( _lennylink_ ) about Miss Pauling and the Fried Chicken tramp ( girl ), right?

and I just got to say.

it got me thinking.

so!! here are some random things I started thinking about.

( Fried chicken girl will be called Stacy like how it was in the Tweet + be spelt as Stacey bc I have an American brain and that's what its telling me to do. )

First thing, I got to send some love to the og person who made me think of all of this ( I don't know them ) and the way they made Stacey act is so... perfect.

like girl I know there was barely any of her speaking but the thing she did say was perfect.

"Sweetheart"??? STOPP. Miss Pauling has never been called that. EVER.

okay time for the real thing I want to talk about.

how would they date.

more specific how a date would go between them.

ALSO!!! adding ZHANNA because they lesbian power wasn't enough. ( I also just want to write more and make more pain for myself. )

Okay first off, Stacey and Pauling

Me thinks that Stacey would be like "hey you wanna go shopping?" and Pauling is like "oh sure" makes time for her or whatever and thinks shes going to a mall for clothes and is like "okay at least I get to hang out with the prettiest girl I've seen other than my boss" and then they drive there and...

its not actually a mall

they go to a gun store <3

listen, Stacey may not know where Europe is but she certainly knows gun stores with shit her girlfriend likes. probs knows a place where you could engrave stuff in your gun. Most likely from her dad. I think she gets most things from her dad. abit side tracked but she defo learned how to at least shoot a deer from her dad. ( gets her fashion from her mom, DUH. )

anyways Miss Pauling now has a beautiful new gun with Stacey's name on it.

okay lets add Zhanna into the mix.

Pauling and Zhanna

honestly.

i don't know.

im really dumb okay so like

ive been stuck on this for like a day.

im sorry people who really wanted this

Stacey and Zhanna

Remember when I said Stacey's dad thought her how to hunt dear?

Now her stone butch girlfriend is teaching her how to hunt bears.

and Stacey has her first bit of bear flesh.

She fucking loves it.

in tie with those burgers from her childhood that she'll never find again because she was too young to remember the name of the place.

Zhanna may be bored of bear from when she was stuck in Russia but will gladly feed it to her gf.

Now Stacey is full of different bear meat recipes (Zhanna learned it all from her mom [ her mom forced them all to learn ] ) and is craving more.

Please don't judge me if this is bad It's been a damn hot minute since I wrote anything.

I mayyy make a part 2.

sincerely apologize to all those who were not lucky enough to play with me in the same match :'))

Yoo, what shoes he got on🔥🔥🔥

my favorite video of all time ever

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

me like heavy n sniper interactions... even tho they don't exist so i had to make myself one!!!

this is an idea from 2021 :D please enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

e x t r a s:

draft from 2021 - october 2024

PANEL REDRAW!!!!

YOUR JOKIJNGG{"

me like heavy n sniper interactions... even tho they don't exist so i had to make myself one!!!

this is an idea from 2021 :D please enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

e x t r a s:

draft from 2021 - october 2024

PANEL REDRAW!!!!

(pov : you are waiting here to see medic)

tears started welling in my eyes I'm so serious right now.

they're silly

the smartest scout main

Two pals and the guy they bring along on their trips.

I got this bucket of chicken,,,

Unwanted knowledge

St. John's wort symbolizes fire and purification. Although, fire itself is a purification, just a radical one. Water cleanses, but can drown, while fire consumes everything without a trace. When receiving unwanted knowledge, the first thought is always: “I want to clear my mind of this.”

...I wonder how much Pyro knows?

let's wear caps and be from VALVe games and don't tell Daisuke let's not be overhyperactive and don't tell Scout let's play baseball and don't tell Ellis

tf have I done

Headcanon that Soldier is trans but he just. Forgot. So whenever he gets his period he goes to beat up Merasmus because he’s convinced it’s a curse.

Horrible evil comic that pained my hands </3

I missed 'draw your faves with your disability' month by a while, but I hope you'll still accept this snippet. Some context and thoughts below the cut if you're curious!

I will project my disabilities onto anyone, but Soldier is the first character I've so heavily headcannoned as d/Deaf. The way he speaks so loud at all times, and he misunderstands the things people say to him as though hearing them wrong, and the way he's viewed as stupid for doing so, it reminds me of being in school as a HoH person. It's hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it. Think the 'so it ain't me noggin it's me peepers' Simpsons clip. He was also in near a war, and many soldiers lost hearing from bombs and the constant gunfire.

Pyro's mask would make it very hard to sign considering the lack of expressions to read equates to a huge loss of grammar and sentence structure. Engie designed an LED screen that replaced the material in the eyeholes, and they have a few default expressions to use for emoting, including ? for a question , ^^ for happiness and positive emotion, ◡◡ for sadness or negative emotion, etc. It responds to the actual expression Pyro is making inside the mask!

Singing

Hi! I wasn't sure if your doing requests right now so I'm so sorry if you aren't, feel free to ignore. I was wondering if you could write a fluffy headcanon list/mini story about how the mercs would react to a teen reader who's super shy and skittish gifting them trinkets they have made out of clay?

Hope this made sense! English is not my native language. Thank you so much.

-🎾

Mercs reacting to skittish teen!reader giving them clay trinkets [PLATONIC]

| All mercs & Skittish TEEN!reader | 945 words | masterlist | request-box |

AW saw this in my inbox and had to do it cause i also love making things out of clay <3

Ty for the request 🎾anon!!

╔═════════════════╗

Scout:

He's never been close with you, since you're always hanging around engineer and heavy more.

He kinda notices how its like you avoid him, he just wants a friend

But if you were to walk up to him and shakily place a small clay trophy with a baseball bat peaking from inside of it he'd be elated.

I'd say he's jumping for joy, and is probably crying when you hand it to him because he had just lost the team the match few hours before.

Would shove it into the other mercs faces, pointing at it laughing that they're not cool enough to have gotten a trophy.

Keeps it on his window sill next to a photo of him and his ma.

Soldier:

(Skittish kid vs Loud USA citizen who would win)

Jokes, but soldier wouldn't get along too well with you if you're always hiding away from him and keeping lengths away.

But when you and pyro were hanging out, you had found clay heavy had brought you and were just laying on the floor of pyro's room making little clay figures.

And you had made this poor looking eagle, with a misshapen American flag on it.

And when you offered it to soldier he was ecstatic, and by ecstatic I mean holding it up to the sky laughing in pride.

Even if the eagle looks like a fat dove he loves it, (USA! USA! USA!)

Keeps it in one of his pockets

Pyro:

Pyro gets along with you, they're a tad strange but easy to hang around

Since pyro loves to do crafts I expect them to already have made many things for you.

But when you gift them a clay Balloonicorn they cry

cradling it in their hands and sobbing.

They'd place it down carefully and then hug you, like bone crushing type hug.

Would try and make something for you as well

Engineer:

He's like your dad, and through your shyness you've stuck to him.

He's an engineer (duh) so he's probably made some things to just make your life easier

He lets you stay in his workshop if the rest of the team overwhelm you.

One day he came back from a losing battle he looked down at his work desk to see a small shotty looking sentry figure, clearly made out of clay and handpainted. A little poorly, as it looked like it was constantly painted over and fixed up.

But he loves it, keeps it on a newly built shelf so it doesn't get damaged.

He's a proud father

Heavy:

You hand him a small Sasha made out of clay and he doesn't know what to do.

He'll chuckle and pat you on the back, thanking you saying you did a great job.

You already were about to nervously dart away when he didn't respond for a while.

He keeps it safe, making sure no one touches it. Like it was the real Sasha.

Second proud father

Demoman:

Stopped drinking too much when you came to the base, to make you feel a bit more comfortable.

He doesn't let you in his workspace because he doesn't want you to get hurt by any explosives or harsh chemicals. (heavy would kill him if that happened)

You make him this small eyelander out of clay, it wasn't the right colour and its a little misshapen but its the thought that counts.

If the eyelander mentions anything wrong with it, he's locking it away again

Sniper:

He doesn't like kids, doesn't matter if you're a teen, scout is enough to make him feel like he's 30+ (even if sniper is the youngest merc)

You are shy, and like to hang around outside under some trees to get away from scout

And near there is where he likes to practice his aiming, and where his perch is

Few weeks later, he comes up to his perch to go on lookout, and at the bottom of the ladder is an owl figure.

He'd be confused, but could see you peaking from around a tree.

Keeps it in his van, on the dashboard stuck down with superglue.

Medic:

He's a little too unhinged for you

But you like his birds so you hang around just to watch them/hang out with them.

He'd show you each bird, joyful when he can show off his pets and second in command.

Medic would be holding like 3+ small dove clay trinkets which you placed into his hands and skidded off, cooing at them as he would show them all to the actual birds.

Archimedes would try to eat one

Shows them to heavy with pride

Keeps them in his office, constantly batting Archimedes away while he tries to eat them.

Spy:

He doesn't like you

And you never see him so its hard if you're going to make anything for him

He doesn't like teenagers, and with your skittish nature you're always already across the room when someone other than Heavy, Engineer or Demoman is trying to talk with you.

When he notices the other mercs with these clay trinkets he snobbishly dismisses it, saying the maker clearly was a child.

And when he gets into his smoker room there is a little clay trinket on his mantel place, a spy crab.

Wouldn't admit it to anyone but it's stayed there since it was put there and he cannot fathom to remove it.

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✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ If you see any typos pls tell me! If you wanna be tagged when i post next do tell me!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Tag List: @therobloxmafia Posted 31.05.2024

Mercs if they had modern day cellphones!

Heavy:

The screen is too small and his fingers are too big.

The screen also tends to hurt his eyes after a while but he absolutely refuses to turn down the brightness, saying it would make it even harder to see than before

His main favorite functions are video calls with Medic or his family and listening to music.

His life is complete when he discovers E-books

He can’t read them on the screen but he loves being able to clean Sasha while having his favorite book read to him

Medic:

Really doesn’t use it for much else than phone calls and the occasional google search at first

When he discovers mobile games that takes his interest though!

He becomes a candy crush mom.

Oh you have a broken arm? Wellll…You can tough it out, champ. He’s on level 7,229 right now.

He would make all the other men get Life360

Scout:

Total social media zombie(I say as if I am not one)

Surprisingly he’s very popular on apps like Twitter and Tik Tok. People think he’s hilarious!

Unfortunately somewhere along the way he says something less than respectful about something and his account gets banned

Eventually he’s on account number 6 and trying to regrow his following

It never recovers

He finds out about NFT’s

Sniper:

Mainly uses it to watch youtube and play music

His phone is always on silent and Do Not Disturb

He loves those videos where those guys go out into the middle of the woods and just start building a fucking house out of clay and sticks.

He prefers texting to calling, finding it much faster(he just like me fr)

Baffled by just how much porn he has access to now….

But he’s not complaining.

Soldier:

He doesn’t use it because he just keeps breaking his phones.

They’ve been dropped, blown up, set ablaze, dropped in water, eaten by a bread-tumor monster, eaten by Soldier(???) and run over.

Even if they didn’t get destroyed within 3 days he still wouldn’t use it for much else besides setting alarms and sending confusing group texts.

However, with each new phone he has gotten he asks Pyro for stickers and sticker bombs his phone just for fun

Has an American flag wallpaper

Pyro:

Watches a lot of Youtube!

They love art tutorials, cooking tutorials and those videos with the guys that put molten hot metal balls into water and those videos of people crushing things in Hydraulic presses

Their search history is so fucking strange:

“my little pony free episode”

“my little pony movie free”

“how to draw clouds”

“gasoline cheap prices”

They follow Scout’s pages and always send him nice comments and like his videos

Engineer:

Loves listening to music and watching movies on his phone

Eventually learns how to code and make his own apps

This is also how he discovered he could jailbreak his phone and turn it into a universal remote for his sentries

Very slow texter

Uses way more emoji’s than needed

“Hello yall 👋🏻 going to the hardware store today 🔨let me know if yall need anything while im out👋🏻🚶🏼”

His most used app is the settings app

Spy:

Of course all of his phones are burners.

He never uses one for more than one week

Loves pirating movies on it and watching them in bed

He has no contacts. No personal information and keeps his location off at all times

Likes to pretend to be different people and play around with Google and Youtube’s targeted ads and algorithms

One day he’s an 86 year old woman that’s recommended nothing but metal bands and funeral home ads

The next week he’s four years old and getting recommended Mario and Minecraft let’s play videos

He uses twitter

He’s doxxed many people on Twitter

Like Scout he has MANY banned accounts and has also hacked and stolen many accounts

…He hacked one of Scout’s accounts and got it permanently banned

Demoman:

Loves watching Top 10 videos

Also loves having so much ease and access talking to his lads

He video calls his mother often even she just nags him the whole time and keeps accidentally hanging up

Is frequently texting the other team’s Soldier and laughing at what he says back

Uses Discord and Reddit and is in many servers and communities that focus on paranormal activity, urban legends and cryptids

Actually makes his own youtube videos searching for said cryptids

Frequently comments “cringe” under Scout’s posts

TF2 Mercs x M!Shy!Reader

Scout

Honestly likes how shy and quiet you are because it makes him seem more macho (not just for that reason ofc but still)

Likes teasing you in public with whispers in your ear or sneaky PDA that makes you jump and squeak

Jeremy is very protective and possessive. Very "Is this guy bothering you? Nah, nah, I'll kill him for fucking with my boo!"

He shows off a lot to impress you, but also is fine with failing because you either laugh at the stupidity or fuss over him after.

Soldier

Jane is a little hard headed sometimes and sometimes gets frustrated about things he doesn't understand. Like at a restaurant, he has trouble really understanding why you have issues telling the waiter your order was wrong.

Talks for you a lot (/lovingly but ohhhh my goddd)

Soldier means well and loves your more reserved nature, but he also wants to show you the world! This causes some communication issues.

Pyro

Kind of babies you a little and loves being the leader and guiding you around places

Overprotective like Scout, but a lot more supporting rather than confronting.

Shares their balloonicorn with you 🥺🥺🥺

Pyro is fine with being an introvert lover, so absolutely is fine with cuddle dates and movie nights

Demoman

This man TEASES. Like, NEVER STOPS. Scout on steroids.

Whispers dirty things in your ear in public and adds a little "Aww, why are you so flustered? Only you heard the nasty things I wanna do to you."

His favorite thing to do to you in public is put his arm over your shoulders and pull you in close- maybe just a little too close for friendly PDA- but most people brush it off as "drunken balance issues"

Loves when you squeak and squirm behind closed doors, the way you shy away from even kisses.

Engineer

Doesn't push it in public and usually gives you your space. If people give you a hard time in public, he gets rather protective in that kind southern sternness.

In private, he's a lot more lovey and sweet on you. Pet names. Kisses. Teasing.

He's not too dirty minded about the teasings since he's a little worried about making you uncomfortable. Usually he lets you make the signals before he takes initiative.

Dell loves giving you knowing looks in public to make you blush, but that's the most he'll ever do in public.

Heavy

This man keeps you safe like a baby bunny in a big bear's arms. Any attempt to even look at you is met with a glare and an escort out of the room.

Scary dog privilege energy fr. As long as you're around you don't have to worry about your orders at restaurants being wrong or people looking at you! They're all busy staring at your man!

Heavy loves picking you up and carrying you around to keep you safe- but even that is embarrassing! As you cover your face, Heavy mumbles in your ear :

"Why so nervous? You like my strength when we're alone."

Medic

RIP man, this mf is ruthless. He loves to fluster you any and everywhere he can. Your shyness is a game to him and Medic is top of the leaderboard.

Somehow he's even able to sweettalk you when under the knife! You're not sure if it was out of genuine opportunity to flirt or to see your physical heart accelerate.

Has probably pavlov'd you into blushing whenever he speaks German let's be honest

The most out and proud about your relationship. What are they going to do, fire their only good Medic?

Sniper

Since he's rather introverted himself, he's not one for PDA or flustering you in public. In private he's a little more lovey-dovey.

Mans likes smacking your ass when you walk by or when you're turned away from him. He thinks it's funny when you cover your butt when you walk by him.

Mundy likes murmuring sweet nothings only occasionally, believing that sweet words matter most when the moment is right.

He is the resident "fine, I'll be the group extrovert" between you two and usually handles social situations and talking.

Spy

Oh he thinks your shyness is absolutely adorable. You know what you want, but just can't muster up the words out of mortification? It totally gets him going to give you exactly what you want.

Flowery words, actual flowers, and frequent date nights as "business partners". Of course business partners give brief kisses before a meal- it's a French thing! (jk jk)

Has an entire mental file on what flusters you the most in each situation. His favorite way is to sneak up behind you, put his hand on your shoulder, and whispering in your ear.

He has worried about you choking in his smoking area due to all your hyperventilation, so he makes a habit of airing out the smell of cigarettes and marijuana.

new headcanon: engie speaks spanish but he speaks it like this

Headcanon that Soldier is trans but he just. Forgot. So whenever he gets his period he goes to beat up Merasmus because he’s convinced it’s a curse.

“Autistic sniper” “autistic engine”’”autistic medic” BIYCH THEYRE ALL AUTISTIC!!!!!

Any chance of support team with a reader who's a vampire and needs to feed?? Thanks 👍🦇

love bites ; support team x vamp!reader

pairing: medic/sniper/spy x gn!reader

authors note: hello! i love this ask a lot omg, thanks for sending this in! written romantically. also i apologize if this is like. too formally written. 😭

disclaimer: obvious mentions of blood/the loss of it, description of being bitten, and suggestive parts with each merc… especially Spy’s and Sniper’s! (i also apologize if my vampiric facts are incorrect! enjoy reading!)

MEDIC:

The grumble of your stomach was hard to ignore, teeth salivating and aching for the mere taste of skin; of blood. The pierce, the reward of breaking through the skin... a flavor and its bitter taste was a craving you left untouched... yet, you couldn't let it be. Not as it stood mockingly, a need you couldn't turn down.

You groaned under your breath as you clutched your jaw, a starved look shared with the doctor as he stood knowingly. "Do you hunger, liebling?" He finally spoke, breaking through that wall of desperate silence. Medic was looking down at his clipboard, his hands slipping through pages as he leaned against his table. You swallowed hard, trying to suppress any impulsive decision that crept into your mind. He looked up at you expectantly. "If you wish, I have spare pouches in the fridge... I know you prefer boar, but I also have cow, if you so wish." He knew you forbade human blood upon your own devising... but Medic knew how frustrating it can be; not getting your full, left only partially satisfied.

You had kept your voice silent for passing moments, and Medic noticed this quick enough. The man lifted his head completely now, sharing eye-to-eye, a new hunger. He read you closely. The motion of your tongue across your pearled fang, the growl of your stomach, the ache in the jaw... Medic knew what you wanted.

Slowly, he let the clipboard slide atop his desk, released from his hand as he approached you. Your jaw clenched, stepping back slowly before hitting the sink. You didn't want to, you didn't want to hurt him... your tongue hiding your fangs desperately as he leaned closely to you. Medic arched his neck, his eyes focused on the mirror behind you. You gulped. "Go ahead."

"I can't. You know that," you began, tempted. "I can't hurt you, let alone threaten your loss of blood... what if I don't stop?" Your voice spoke with worry, heart racing; blood pumping, and mind fogging.

"I am a doctor," he replied, his hand sliding down from his button-down collar to his neck; exposing himself fully now. "I have my ways. Iss auf, meine Liebe."

Your eyes were now focused on his neck, the vein pumping with fresh blood... pure and untouched. Desperate enough, your breath shivered, and slowly, you brought your teeth in contact with his skin... warm. The pulse against your lip, his steady breaths, his permission. It was enough.

Finally, your teeth sunk into his neck, your hands now pressed against his shoulders as you began to drink. Your mind was revitalized with sensation, enough that you hadn't heard Medic's hushed native tongue. His hands were planted on either side of the sink, your body clasped to his; Medic's body a pillar, reliable for your balance.

But you had felt your stomach finally conclude from its incessant groans, fangs contracting from the pulsing wound. "Scheiße..." Medic cursed, his teeth had sunk into his lip. Blood pearled at the two pricks, and you frowned. "Don't pout, dove. I will be alright." He kissed your forehead, short and sweet, before leading himself away from you. He was now sitting at his desk to regain his balance.

Your hand had hovered over your mouth, the taste of his blood sinking into the cuts of your lips.

“Feel better?” The man hummed, his hand holding a piece of gauze to his neck, his figure relaxed and observing… but he knew the answer. You were standing with such vitality. From when you would feed on animal blood you were constantly tired… slumped and with a lack of energy... but with that short feed, you were anew.

“Yes, much.” you spoke shyly. You had then approached him, a hand resting at his forehead… but it did not stall long. Medic had gently taken your hand and let it fall to his cheek; he kissed the inside of your palm.

“Bitte… don’t worry about me,” and with that he swiftly grabbed your wrist, pulling you towards him to fall into his hold. “You’re glowing.”

SNIPER:

When you had first told Sniper about your origin, it took him a moment to fully comprehend it. Of course, he loves you the way you are, don’t get the man wrong… but a vampire? The man was stunned… but nonetheless, intrigued.

It was just past midnight, the click of your watch alerting you subconsciously… and the longer you waited for your lover, the more your stomach churned and twisted with a burning hunger. Your fangs ached, salivating at the mere idea of feasting… and you needed help.

As you sat in your lover’s van, you heard a small click and a whoosh of a door opening. You suspected it was him, with a lift of your head and a raise of your brow, you rose from your seat. “Hey,” you spoke first. Sniper took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair. “You’re back late.”

“Miss Pauling had a make-up meetin' with us,” he informed you. You huffed. “Nothin’ to worry about, jus’ somethin’ she missed. How are you doing?” Quick to change the topic of conversation, subject to his past boredom… he slumped on the couch where you last sat. You look down at him with a pained look. He studied you silently, raising a brow.

“I’m hungry and I need to… I need to eat.” You announced, voice hushed due to the matter being new in his mind... you simply wished not to scare him away.

Sniper was new to the feeding thing… knowing it wouldn’t make any difference if you ate legitimate food. You’d still crave the taste of blood. The Australian hummed in response, his cheeks flushing at the mere idea of…

“What would happen if I was your meal?” He asked. His blunt question leaves you blinking. His inquiry left unnoticed as he motioned for you to go on with a lift of his chin.

“Well… if you were to get bitten, you might suffer from lethargy. But you wouldn’t turn,” you were quick to inform. “I need to drain you completely in order to do so.” As you educated the man on the basics, he found no reason to disagree. Shit, he might get some well-deserved sleep afterward. "It's a lot to ask for. Please don't feel obligated to... animal blood suffices just fine."

"But it's not quite filling, now is it?" With his interjection, you gulped. The corner of his mouth rose in a knowing smile. But it fell soon after. "Sit down," Sniper instructed... and certainly not asking you to.

You followed and let yourself fall beside him. Sniper was sitting on his side, sleeves rolled up, arms bare and muscle evident from holding his weapon every day. (If not, all day.) The Australian also wore a watch... his fist folded in as he leaned against his knuckles, the leather of the accessory worn for years now. Perhaps something his father had owned, or a pass-me-down.

"It's going to hurt just... just for a second," you spoke. He raised an eyebrow. "You might feel dizzy afterward, so don't stand up too fast. I won't take a drop more than I need, I promise."

The Australian couldn't stand it anymore. He lifted his arms, fist leaving his resting face as one of his hands grasped your exposed thigh, lifting you to take a seat on his lap. A sound of surprise left your throat as his hands began to rest just above your hips... his eyes spoke nothing of deceit. Eyes pure with approval. "Eat."

You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat unleaving as you brought your eyes to his exposed neck. Your hands began to move without thought, and slowly, lowering the collar of his shirt to display him completely. Your lips parted, leaning down towards the side of his jaw... the heat of your breath against his pulse drove you crazy. And crazy enough, to finally pierce through his veil of skin. The man hissed. You didn't need to look at him to know his face contorted to the prick of pain. Sniper's hold on your hips began to tighten, trying his best to remain still as you served on his blood.

The taste was desirable; and incredibly addicting. You found no control over yourself, having not eaten like this in decades... but the more you drank, the more Sniper fell weaker... you noticed this when his hands slowly loosened his grip from your sides. Your fangs retracted and a pitiful sigh left your throat when his taste left you. Sniper was the first to speak. "'I won't take a drop more than I need,' they say..." You were quick to launch a playful hit to his arm, the man letting out a huff of laughter. Sniper's hand lifted to rest on his shoulder, the other resting just above your thigh. "Are you full, love?" He asked, awaiting your response as your hand raised to swipe the smear of blood on your chin.

"Yes... how are you feeling, right now?" You asked, head tilting with curiosity as let his head fall back. Your lip quirked up humorously.

"M'tired," he was left mumbling. "Mind if I rest?" You chuckled, falling beside him, but your legs remained rested just above his lap.

"Go on," you permitted... though it wouldn't have taken much, you knew the man would pass out any second regardless. "I told you you'd fall to lethargy, Snipe." And with your remark, it was left hanging in the air in silence until the sound of Sniper's snoring broke through it.

SPY:

The fire cracked and roared a low hum, warmth embracing the room with its bright flame. Spy sat in his master chair, one hand holding a book, while the other held a cigarette... his lips pulling from the smoke every now and then. You were scrolling through his library, hands grazing the spines, the pages... the scent of aged books spoke of history. But with every novel and piece of literature that left its respective shelf, the discomfort of your famished stomach kept your mind preoccupied.

Frustrated, you slid the book back with the others.

Your once idle figure had sauntered off towards Spy, your crossed arms laid on the back of his chair. He noticed this. "Yes, chérie?" His eyes still wandered his page, but you suspected his mind wasn't in touch with its words once you enlightened his company. Spy wasn't complaining. You pouted.

"I'm hungry," you announced. "Just a quick bite?" You asked sweetly, the only way you knew you could convince him. Spy always surrenders to you somehow... even if it takes some adamant persuading. The Frenchman sighed, his index finding the corner of his page, indicating his mind was occupied with the fact he was almost finished. "Spy?"

"You can wait one more chapter, oui?" Spy knew of your vampiric origin quite fast... faster than any other merc, aside from Medic, of course. It never scared him, he knew better. You were the same person as you were before and knew you never masked innocence. (As far as innocence goes, in this line of work.)

Your eyebrows knitted together, impatience taking control of your response. "C'mon, it'll be quick... it always is!" You twisted your body to lean in next to him, eyes desperately trying to catch Spy's eye... but he remained stubborn. By any god above, he always was.

"I'd rather you not rush your dinner." Spy spoke simply, his gloved hand finally turning the page. But with this attempt, your hand grasped his.

"If you make me wait, I'll have no choice but to rush my dinner,” and with your logical response, Spy felt the need to take your words into consideration. The man hummed, his mind falling loose of his stories inevitable ending. “Please?” He felt as though the book could wait.

Spy shifted in his seat, you stepping back a bit with a new rise in relief… the man tried to sit as formally as he could, as always. “Continue…” Taking this as your permission to continue, one hand grasped his shoulder while the other held the arm of his chair… your head dipped, your eyes met with cloth. You frown. Your hands then lift from their previous positions, a finger clipping under his mask, attempting to slip it over his head. Spy hesitates, his head turning away instinctively… and suddenly he’s facing you, met with your own eyes. Spy slowly gives in to you.

With the hook of your index finger, you continued to pull the mask off, revealing the man completely. His hair peppered with white streaks; grey hairs complimenting his intensity perfectly… he was vulnerable. Vulnerable to you.

Tearing from your shared eye-contact, you flared your teeth before pricking his vein perfectly. You felt Spy’s jaw clench, a small smile tugging at your lips at his reaction as you continue to feed.

His taste was rich; rich and thick… potent as though made from wine and smoke, a taste irreplaceable even from the wealthiest of kings. And with every nip and drink, you fell right back into his trickiest of holds.

The man began to fall in his seat, seemingly to get more comfortable. He laid back, head leaning against the head of his seat; hair ruffling up from its velvet. Spy’s vest had begun to ride up, a small French curse leaving his lips… but before he could fall completely to your vampiric desires, you retracted your fangs… knowing you couldn’t take more.

“Done already?” He spoke the best he could, voice feigning strength and formality. Spy’s hand raised to meet his neck, it ached.

“Any more and you’d be passed out, my love.” You reply knowingly, wiping the run-away blood droplets from your lips. Spy swallowed hard before clearing his throat, he sat up in his seat the best he could.

“Right… well, we should get some sleep, oui?” You raised an eyebrow. “Don’t give me that look, ma batte. I’m fine.” And though he reassured you the best he could, you knew he was lying through his teeth… and he did too.

“Last time when you left your ego untamed you nearly fainted.” Spy flushed an embarrassing red at this, fully aware his wasn’t there to hide it. Why did he agree to this. You sighed, approaching him before grabbing his mask, handing it to him. “If it makes you feel better, it happens with everyone.” You smiled warmly, he took the mask and let out an annoyed tsk… exaggerated, of course.

“Looking at other necks? I’m offended.” He spoke plainly, examining his mask… feeling an odd wave of leaving it be. Noticing this, you took his book and hopped up on the arm of the chair… your legs planted beside his thighs on the seat to balance yourself. “Whatcha reading anyway?” Spy’s eyebrows twitched in response to you. “Franz… Kafka, really?! With the salesman monster guy!”

“Ah, yes. The Metamorphosis…” And though he spoke low, voice grumbling in what seemed irritation… it wasn’t this way. He simply felt. Seen. More than he was used to. He didn’t quite know how to feel about it.

Being a man masked all his life; his swift, backstabbing career forcing him to reveal very little… it was difficult to open up, especially for someone so refusing to do so. Spy felt himself slowly open up to you. Although, begrudgingly, I do say… it isn’t an easy process.

But lo, the night eased into its end, the soft crackle of the fire accompanying the Frenchman’s voice as he read to you… and within his shared company, you felt as though he was warming up.

In thought, who would let someone as sharp as you be so open to the idea of giving your body and soul to the other? A certain mercenary of course… but truly intoxicating in its vampiric concept.

But to be put in simpler words…

He just liked you.

.

.

.

rorichuu!

#lets fucking go

🐟

STOP HERE IF YOU LIKE TF2 LESBIANS

okay so I saw a really kool post by lennylink on Twitter/X ( _lennylink_ ) about Miss Pauling and the Fried Chicken tramp ( girl ), right?

and I just got to say.

it got me thinking.

so!! here are some random things I started thinking about.

( Fried chicken girl will be called Stacy like how it was in the Tweet + be spelt as Stacey bc I have an American brain and that's what its telling me to do. )

First thing, I got to send some love to the og person who made me think of all of this ( I don't know them ) and the way they made Stacey act is so... perfect.

like girl I know there was barely any of her speaking but the thing she did say was perfect.

"Sweetheart"??? STOPP. Miss Pauling has never been called that. EVER.

okay time for the real thing I want to talk about.

how would they date.

more specific how a date would go between them.

ALSO!!! adding ZHANNA because they lesbian power wasn't enough. ( I also just want to write more and make more pain for myself. )

Okay first off, Stacey and Pauling

Me thinks that Stacey would be like "hey you wanna go shopping?" and Pauling is like "oh sure" makes time for her or whatever and thinks shes going to a mall for clothes and is like "okay at least I get to hang out with the prettiest girl I've seen other than my boss" and then they drive there and...

its not actually a mall

they go to a gun store <3

listen, Stacey may not know where Europe is but she certainly knows gun stores with shit her girlfriend likes. probs knows a place where you could engrave stuff in your gun. Most likely from her dad. I think she gets most things from her dad. abit side tracked but she defo learned how to at least shoot a deer from her dad. ( gets her fashion from her mom, DUH. )

anyways Miss Pauling now has a beautiful new gun with Stacey's name on it.

okay lets add Zhanna into the mix.

Pauling and Zhanna

honestly.

i don't know.

im really dumb okay so like

ive been stuck on this for like a day.

im sorry people who really wanted this

Stacey and Zhanna

Remember when I said Stacey's dad thought her how to hunt dear?

Now her stone butch girlfriend is teaching her how to hunt bears.

and Stacey has her first bit of bear flesh.

She fucking loves it.

in tie with those burgers from her childhood that she'll never find again because she was too young to remember the name of the place.

Zhanna may be bored of bear from when she was stuck in Russia but will gladly feed it to her gf.

Now Stacey is full of different bear meat recipes (Zhanna learned it all from her mom [ her mom forced them all to learn ] ) and is craving more.

Please don't judge me if this is bad It's been a damn hot minute since I wrote anything.

I mayyy make a part 2.

RICK PORTAL 2 BACKSTORY TIME !!! Literally have been sitting on all of this for years and its only ever been told to my two friends 👹 so excited to finally have all of it down.

Nothing graphic, but do be warned that it does deal with very dark topics 💥

Rick grew up DEEP in the rural south in a small little religious town. His family was very poor and had upwards of 5 children. His father was very physically and mentally abusive, and his mother was very neglectful and quiet. He was never close with any of his siblings, and his brothers didn't do much more than add to his problems. 

He started drinking and smoking from about the age of 10, as most boys did in their town. They would all meet up in groups and share goods they stole from their parents and from corner stores.

Through everything, the only real comfort he had was movies--westerns and action flicks. They were too poor to own a TV, so he would sneak into movie theaters and drive-ins. It was a big inspiration for the person he wanted to be when he grew up and served as a good mental escape. He wanted to eventually leave this town and travel the world with nothing but the clothes on his back and a dream.

The only real friend he had through it all was Teddy. Rick was a troubled kid and could be a bit mean due to his upbringing, but Teddy was the one person he was always nice to. Something about him made him soft. They were best friends since they were toddlers and while other people came and went, those two always stuck together and stayed close. 

Somewhere along the way, their relationship ended up becoming romantic. They were so young that the whole thing was confusing, but they knew well enough to keep it a secret from everyone else. Rick knew that something was deeply wrong with it and it always ate up at him inside and made him ashamed, but Teddy didn't have a care in the world. Rick made him happy and that was all that mattered.

Then when Rick turned 16, he decided that he'd had enough with school and church and his parents. He was ready to leave it all behind--but he wasn't going to bring Teddy. Teddy had a sister he was really close with, and more friends than Rick had. He had more to lose and Rick didn't want him uprooting his whole entire life for him. 

So Rick broke things off with Teddy and told him never to tell another soul what had happened between them and to forget the whole thing, forget Rick. Then he jumped onto a boxcar train and left town.

He was homeless for a good bit, but managed to get a small job that gave him enough money to save up for an old, broken down truck that he lived out of. He never stayed in one place too long, hopping around and getting jobs here and there, stealing off of folks in town to get enough for food. 

Rick had a hard, but very adventurous and rewarding few years out on the road, but at the end of it all, he couldn't find anyone even close to Teddy. It wasn't the same without him around and Rick decided that maybe it was worth a shot going back and seeing if somehow Teddy was still in the town they grew up in. 

Rick drove back, now a full grown adult, hoping there was a way that he'd still want to talk to him again. But when he got back to town and asked around, it turned out that Teddy wasn't as great at keeping the secret as he hoped. 

Teddy had tried to flirt with a man at a bar, and he didn't take too kind to it. His friends dragged Teddy outside and beat him to death, where his family found his body a few days later. By the time Rick got back to town, Teddy was long buried in a small marked grave. 

It really fucked with Rick's head. After that, he buried everything that happened between them deeeep deep down and honestly just convinced himself it never happened. They were kids and they didn't know what they were doing. 

After that, Rick went a lot harder on traveling around with the intent of meeting people to have one night stands with in maybe some hopes of further cementing the fact that he only liked women. 

He already had a problem with drinking before, but it got worse and worse as years went on. Most of his money went straight back into drinks. He couldn't keep any sort of job for more than a few days because he was constantly day drinking, showing up wasted. 

It was a great big blur for a lot of years of sleeping with women, getting fucked up on drugs, driving drunk, waking up places he didn't remember. He got into a lot of fights, most of which he started himself (definitely didn't have a weird thing where he liked fighting because it was the only time he got to touch a man.... cus that would be WEIRD ASF 🗣🗣🗣 AND MAKE HIM A FREAK.) All the while he was living out of the same truck he'd gotten at 16 which constantly needed repairs. He hardly had enough money for gas, so he usually had to siphon it from other cars. Times were ROUGH

Then one day, he met a very nice, charming man at a bar. They hit it off right away, spent the whole night talking and drinking and dancing. It felt so nice and familiar in a way that Rick couldn't place, until at one point the man tried to make an advance on him. A deep, primal panic rose inside him and Rick immediately got LIVID, punching the guy right in the face and cussing him out in the middle of the bar, calling him names and slurs before leaving once the bartender told him to.

Rick felt a deep emptiness and strange longing that he hadn't felt since he was a little kid. He thought about it for days--more than anything the fact how much he really, really did want to go home with that man. 

That was when he decided that he couldn't do this anymore. He was getting too old to be living out of his truck. He hadn't had a real home since he was a kid, and that mixed with all of the drugs and high stakes adventures and fights, he was going to drive himself into an early grave. 

It was time that he got an actual job, and an actual home. And maybe that would help distract him from thinking too much about that nice man at the bar. 

After driving around and searching, eventually he ended up at Aperture. Nice easy desk job, impossible to get fired from, and hours and hours of overtime. He luckily ended up landing a cheap apartment because he was able to seduce the owner of the building into a lower rate and flexible payments. 

Rick still had a hard time with showing up to work drunk and slacking off, but at the very least he had a roof over his head.