Every day I mourn what we lost:
calex shipper because cabenson hurts too bad
stop voting cabenson.
my motivation is out the window. i miss her too much.
sometimes when I write I feel like I'm doing something wrong. like me writing ... is wrong. but I can't stop doing it. i zone out and when I zone back in I've written some bullshit and I post it because what else would I do
𝐒𝐭✰𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥
fluff out of context #2
“It’s just for a week,” Casey said, cradling a scrawny, orange creature in her arms like she was holding a human infant (which wasn’t too far off, because the thing had been screaming since she left the shelter).
Alex gave the cat a once-over. It looked like it had recently fought God, lost, and now lived with the consequences. Its fur stuck out at odd angles, it was missing a small chunk of one ear, and it was currently trying to climb into Casey’s jacket.
“She looks like she eats drywall,” Alex said.
“She’s perfect,” Casey cooed, stroking the cat’s crooked whiskers. “Her name’s Pickles.”
“Of course it is,” Alex sighed. “One week.”
Casey’s face lit up. “I love you so much.”
“One. Week,” Alex repeated, pointing.
“Totally.”
“No exceptions.”
“Absolutely.”
“She’s not sleeping in the bed.”
alex being avoidant and casey being anxious is SO real
CALEX headcanons — the series
part 1: running back to each other after breaking up and cursing each other out of their own lives
they have different attachment styles. toxic but they persevered long enough to last two years.
alex being an avoidant attachment and casey being an anxious attachment. both obtained from their own past — unhealed trauma that they carried with them.
they both healed each other but overtime, alex would catch herself relapsing and casey would always be there to catch her and coax her.
alex called the break up and casey cursed her out of her life, repeatedly yelling the sentences “i wish i never met you!” and “i hope you end up alone forever!”
alex spent her days regretting what she had done. drowning herself in work, purposely forgetting to eat, abandoning her feelings, and drinking and crying herself to sleep.
casey spent her days crying over alex. she would occasionally stare at her phone blankly hoping that maybe, just maybe, alex would call and apologize to her.
one night, alex, drunk, called casey. of course, casey picked up. she was waiting—longing for alexandra’s return.
“we we’re doing so well and i messed us up. i’m sorry my love. i really tried. i know you won’t forgive me. so, if not in this life, then maybe in the next one. i’ll be the best you’ll ever get”
sniffling, casey replied with a raspy voice. “why not now? why not in this lifetime, lex?”
there was no response from alex, only soft whimpers that could be heard from the other line. so, without any hesitation, casey grabbed her keys and rushed to their old apartment.
there, she found a cried-out alexandra. weeping, nursing a beer bottle. face red, eyes puffy, and voice raspy. “i don’t deserve you” she cried out as she saw casey’s figure.
casey sighs and walks over to her, sitting by alex’s side. “you’re all i ever wanted, you know?”
“but i’m shitty”
“so what? we all are. except you’re nice to me and you love me — deeply, endlessly.”
“if anything, we deserve each other. we’ll make it work. we already did. we can do it again”
alex, rubs her nose, smiling as she lays her head on casey’s shoulder. “i love you and i love that we’re in love”
once again ruminating on jewish casey & how much she would've slayed as a v prominent jewish character on tv alongside munch
i was going to post a new fic like every day this week but I got distracted and played Roblox for over an hour last night
blame fryman