Anger  [ T. Holland ]

Anger  [ T. Holland ]

Request: what about a fluff / angst one shot where reader and tom get into a fight and tom sleeps in guest bedroom but in middle of night reader goes to join tom in the bed and he’s confused and she’s like “im still mad at you but i missed you” and they cuddle and fall back asleep

Warnings: Angst? Little bit of fluff, if you really search for it? Language

Word Count: 1550

A/N: What happens when Hannah has a really shitty couple of days? She writes equally shitty angst. Anyways, here is some angst that may not actually be as angsty as anticipated. 

Masterlist

Anger is the most impotent of passions. It affects nothing it touches and hurts the one who is possessed by it more than the one against whom it was directed. Both you and Tom had an unspoken understanding of this without really knowing so. But still, anger was easily passed between the two of you with careless words and meaningless remarks.

There was little to no reasoning between the uneasy tension between you and Tom. In fact, you weren’t even sure if you could remember why you were arguing. Nonetheless, you were still upset and so was Tom. And that was why, you figured, Tom had chosen to sleep in the guest bedroom instead of the bedroom he shared with you. It was hurtful for the both of you but neither of you were in the right mind to make rational decisions.

You blamed it on stress. Tom had a lot of pressure piled onto his shoulders and you were sure there wasn’t enough time for you to juggle work and your college assignments. Maturity and common sense were important in situations like these and this is what prompted you not to go chasing after Tom when he made his way to the guest room. He was angry and he needed space, that you understood. Of course, you were angry too but you weren’t as far gone as your boyfriend.

There was an ache in your chest when you thought of the argument you had just put to rest between you and Tom. It wasn’t an argument you thought was not worth anything more than the shake of a head but there was so much piled up tension that you both just had to get out of your systems. And this seemed to be the perfect outlet.

Of course, Tom had still crossed some lines. There were definitely things that fell from his mouth which were totally uncalled for. You understood that all of this was coming from anger and stress but that didn’t mean you weren’t upset about it. And you weren’t going to deny it; it did fuel the frustration you were feeling.

“We were doomed from the beginning.” he had said, running a hand through his already tousled hair. “Bloody hell, I wish I’d never met you!”

“You don’t mean that-”

Tom shook his head, glaring at you as he threw his arms up in exasperation. He had cut you off before you could finish your sentence. “Would have saved me so much wasted time and effort!”

It was easier for you to put your foot down and end the conversation than it was for you to hold back the tears that formed in your eyes. And that was no easy feat either. Tom wasn’t oblivious to the hurt expression that crossed your features but in a moment of selfishness, he made no attempt to apologise and explain so that his pride wouldn’t be dented.

Nonchalantly, you changed into clothes that were more comfortable for you to sleep in. Despite the chill in the air, you gulped down a glass of cold water in an effort to calm the heat that burned your skin. You set down the empty glass once finished and made yourself comfortable in the bed you usually shared with Tom.

It felt almost unreal this time. Sure, this was not the first time you had argued but it seemed to hit harder than the times before. Biting your lip to stop it from quivering, you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to calm yourself down so that you could sleep peacefully. Crying yourself to sleep is a one-way ticket to waking up with a headache at best. You were lucky if it wasn’t a migraine.

But it wasn’t working as well as you’d like. Tears still managed to slip down to your pillow, a few pooling in the dip where your eyes met your nose because you were laying on your side. Your jaw kept on clenching and unclenching as you thought about the way Tom had spoken to you only an hour earlier.

“Just-why do you have to be such a fucking pain all the time?” Tom had groaned, wiping his hands down his face.

“Why do I have to be such a pain?”

“Yes!” He almost yelled, his voice dripping with a venom you didn’t know Tom possessed. “All you do is make things worse for me!”

Wondering where the argument had come from and where it had gone so terribly wrong, you noticed that your breaths became uneven. There was a lump that had grown in your throat and you were sure you were trembling as if you were cold. And you were cold but you were not that cold. It was because you were hurting and you knew you wouldn’t stop hurting until you heard Tom take back the things he had said.

It was much out of character for Tom to speak to you like that. He wasn’t usually aggressive with you, even if he was tired or if he had a particularly rough day on set. Usually, he kept his work life and his domestic life separate and never let his frustrations come home with him. Today must have been an exception.

No matter how upset you were with him, you still missed the familiar body that would be pressed up against you at this time of night. Once again, you ignored the discomfort you felt in the pit of your stomach. It would go away on its own, you thought, soon enough. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem as if it were going away.

Shaky breaths left your lips as you stared wide-eyed at the wall beside your bed. You were tired. So damn tired so why couldn’t you sleep? It was frustrating, if anything, that you weren’t able to fall asleep. Your eyes stung with fatigue and you rubbed at them with your fists to try and extinguish the discomfort. If Tom were here, you remembered, he wouldn’t have let you do that. He was always adamant that rubbing your eyes would always make the problem worse.

Letting out a noise of distaste, you pushed yourself off of the bed and through the door to your shared bedroom. Your bare feet padded down the small hallway and towards the guest room without your consent. Cursing yourself out for doing so, you just stared at the closed door in front of you. Tom was asleep, that you were sure of. The sound of muffled yet drowsy breaths that only came from him when he was sleeping were just barely audible if you strained your ears.

Shaking your head, you turned away from the room, ready to get back into your own bed without Tom to help you fall asleep. But then you turned back around. Was it really worth it? Besides, you didn’t want to wake up to any awkward tension between the two of you. This would at least tame said tension a little bit.

Before you could have any more doubts, you pushed the door open quietly and stepped in slowly. Being careful not to make too much noise, you closed the door softly. Tom was a light sleeper, you had come to learn. And the last thing you wanted to do was wake him up and have to talk to him. All you needed was to fall asleep and Tom was the only person that could help you achieve that goal.

Trying not to shift the sheets around your boyfriend too much, you peeled them back enough for you to slip underneath them. Making sure that there was enough space for you to fit in beside him without too much discomfort. The bed was definitely smaller and it didn’t do much to help that Tom was sprawled out smack bang in the middle of it. Chuckling at the sight of Tom’s cheek squished against the mattress just below the pillow, you quietly and carefully slid into the spot beside him.

When you were finally happy under the sheets, you slowly inched closer to him. Cautiously, as not to wake him, you moved his limbs so that he didn’t resemble a starfish and so that you could comfortably lie against him. Tom’s lips drowsily curled into a smile in his sleep and he shifted at the warmth that came from your body.

Your attempts at not waking him up had failed but Tom didn’t let you know that he was no longer asleep. He was sure you were going to leave if you knew he was awake. But still, he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you closer to him. You felt him bury his nose into your neck.

“I’m still mad at you,” you mumble, just to make sure that he understood he wasn’t off the hook until he apologised. He sighed. Everything about him screamed ‘sleepy’ but he didn’t let his disrupted slumber hold him back from speaking.

With a husky and sleep filled voice, Tom said, “I didn’t mean what I said.”

“I know,” you replied, refusing to turn around and face him.

“I love you.”

You hummed, your eyes fluttering shut as you finally welcomed the sleep that was pulling both you and Tom away from consciousness. “Love you too.”