Crying T_T

Beard Batch !

Keldabe doodle between Cross and Hunter, bc shit they need it so bad

▶Spectre◀

I just want you to know that “The lying bitch who probably isn't even made of iron” is the funniest thing I have ever read and i am forever grateful to you for it

The avengers are FALSE ADVERTISING.

1. Captain America

Apparently America doesn't even have the position of "captain"??? There's only President America. Are you the president Steve??? ARE YOU??? Yeah. Didn't fucking think so. Terrible deception. -2/10

2. Iron Man

You'd THINK he's made of iron but nooOooOO let's call a superhero "iron man" and not tell anyone he's actually made of HUMAN FLESH and ANXIETY I'm fucking PISSED 0/10

3. Black widow

Not a spider (smh). As if that's not bad enough, she's actually a white and unmarried woman. Disgusting. -4/10

4. Hulk

Definition: an old ship stripped of fittings and permanently moored, especially for use as storage or (formerly) as a prison. NOT a big angry Shrek. The sheer absurdity of it all. -6/10

5. Hawkeye

has human eyes -900/10

6. Winter soldier

He was a soldier so I'll give him that. But also can be seen during ALL seasons, NOT JUST WINTER. 5/10 for half truth

7. Spiderman

Ok see this is fair because he's got spider in his DNA. I've only got one criticism and it's that he's not a man. He babey. 7/10

8. Ant Man

DISGUSTING. HORRIBLE. REVOLTING. NOT MADE OF ANTS. DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANT IN HIS DNA. JUST BECOMES V SMALL AND V BIG AS PER WILL BECAUSE OF SCIENCE. ANTS D O NO T BECOME V BIG. SHOULD'VE BEEN CALLED ELECTRICAL ENGINEER MAN or ANT IMPOSTOR MAN. -80/10

9. Vision

he can see. 10/10.

10. Scarlet Witch

often seen wearing scarlet things. scarlet magic waves come out of her hands. So that's nice. Is never seen brewing even one (1) witch potion (paprikash does not count) or casting spells. Does some weird hand wavy thing. Yuck. Not a real witch. 4/10

11. Quicksilver

was v quick. Not made of silver though. Yet another half truth I'm sick of it 5/10

12. Falcon

regular man. Can't even fly without science wings. Is never even seen swooping down on his prey. Decidedly NOT a falcon. -59/10

13. War Machine

has done like 3 wars at least so that's good. Unsure whether the "machine" part is referring to the metal onesie or the man inside it. I'm gonna go with the former because James Rhodes is a hero in his own right. 20/10

14. Thor

yeah. 1000/10

A Shiny: Marshal Commander Cody is one of the most accomplished troopers in the GAR

Rex: Good for Cody. He's a nerd.

Masterlist

[!] new masterlist (mobile ver. coming soon)

S U G A :

Your stranger - working the late night shift at a local corner shop and Yoongi becomes a frequent visitor.

Till Dawn  - friends with benefits. (M)

Issues - jealous yoongi.

Morning - morning sex. (M)

Bad girl - professor/mr.min. (M)

Late  - CEO yoongi. (M)

Crush series - [1/?] 1 - yoongi struggles with a crush.

Broken - 1, 2 [2/2]  - secretly dating but cannot be a normal couple. (M)

Mine - jealous yoongi. (M)

Stuck - elevator smut. (M)

Colours - yoongi agrees to be your model for an art project. fluff.

Relax - caring yoongi + bath.

Games - camping. (M)

Memories - yoongi reminisces on the past as a couple.

Wake up - lazy make out session ft. yoongi being a shit.

Misunderstanding - jealous of jungkook.

Admire - admiring yoongi’s neck.

Interruption - scolding that leads to smut. (M)

Marks - yoongi leaves marks all over your body from biting, and one of the other members sees them accidentally.

Jealousy - angst/jealous yoongi.

Control [2/2] 1 , 2 - yoongi allows you to take control. reverse roles for part two. (M)

Warmth - [1/?] yoongi the stoic businessman you make coffee for each morning is too cute.

Cheat - cheating.

Distracted - car sex. (M)

Play - jamming session.

Want - couch smut. (M)

Job au prompts:

Salon - ‘rumor has it that you’re a hairdresser with magic fingers and you can fix any bad hair day so that’s why I’m here’

Klutz - ’ ‘you’re an employee and I have a crush on you so when you hand me the soft serve I accidentally grab it by the ice cream instead of the cone.’

Pick up lines - ‘should I be concerned about how much caffeine you’re taking in’ + ‘I write a bad pick up line on your cup every time I’m your barista’

Crown - [1/?] 1 -  ‘Romeo and Juliet of the math and english dept.’

Hotline - ‘i have a very cute neighbour and very thin walls and one day I call you and err your moans are very synchronised with my neighbour’s’ + ‘ I called you because I was curious and wow you have a very soothing voice can you please sing me to sleep’ (M)

Flowers - ‘I work as a florist and every day you walk in, buy one flower and give it to me’

J U N G K O O K :

Private - ’a glimpse of something private, something that should have remained unknown to your eyes and suddenly the boy you had believed was innocent had become a man practically reeking of testosterone.’

Revelation - ‘The heat that resonated from him was unlike any other man you had encountered, his movements were carefully calculated despite his intoxication, his touches soft yet firm upon your skin leaving a scorching trail in their wake. With kisses alone you felt as if he was deep beneath your skin drawing out all of your darkest deepest desires.’ (M)

Paper Hearts - ‘You met him at the tender age of thirteen. He was the boy next door, the kid that walked you to school on your very first day and told you your smile was like sunshine.’

Unseen (M) - ‘Jungkook struggles to keep his hands to himself.’

Nirvana (M) 1/2 - ‘the need for something that isn’t yours, yet all jungkook wanted to do was take and you willingly gave him everything and anything.’ 

What you need 1/? “People here, they’re dangerous you do best not to mix.” he explains, watching in interest at your reaction to his words. “Are you one of those people?” you ask. Bingo. He almost smirks he’d seen this scenario countless times, small naïve girls wanting nothing more than to play with fire, to get burnt. He leans forward within his chair, the proximity closing between the two of you as he pulls his lighter from his pocket. “I’m the worst kind.”

deal (m) 1, 2, 3, 3.5/? - summary: ‘the years spent working hard had really paid off and was it so wrong to want to rub that in a few faces? The cliché mean girls that often teased you for not doing anything with your hair or clothing, wouldn’t it be great to show off someone like Jungkook?’ High school reunion au + ceo!jeon

wonder (m) - summary: ‘that was the snag, the inconvenience if you will, Jeon Jungkook had next to no experience with girls. It was his best friend that insisted on dragging the poor boy from the safety of his dorm and to the nearest frat party. But now Jungkook no longer attended the parties instead taking refuge on your couch. He’d find comfort there, stretched out upon his back with your legs on either side of his body, your fingers threading lazily through his hair.’ virgin!kook

heat (m) - summary: requested - first time oral. 

wet (m) summary: requested: shower sex.

promise? - summary: police au

N A M J O O N : 

Blossoms: summary: requested - first time meeting.

when have we ever followed orders

Crosshair - helmet

The Wingman Masterlist

moodboard by @fratboievans !! ilysfm 

Summary: Harrison tries to play matchmaker, unfortunately, things don’t go as planned.

Chapter 1  - The One at the Airports 

Chapter 2 - The One in the Hotel 

Chapter  3 - The One on the Street 

Chapter 4 - The One in the Rooms 

Chapter 5   - The One in the Shop 

Chapter 6  - The One in the Elevator  

please fill in the latest survey here for part 7 

send a message, ask or comment if you wanna be (un)tagged in future parts.

I also feel like I have to thank @the-claire-bitch-project because it was her writing challenge that started it all 😅. Thank you, love. You are amazing. (and sorry for bothering you)

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