Overprotectivecatdad - Cat_dad

Butches in leather jackets, butches in sweaters, butches in tshirts, butches in trans tape, butches in button downs, no matter what a butch is wearing, they always radiate safety. Protection and community and support. And that is why I love them

idk if ur okay with vent, feel free to ignore if you're not

i'm kinda frustrated. i was venting to a white friend about racism, and ever since i did, she pulled away from me. she stated the reason is she feels bad bc she thinks she's complicit by virtue of not being black and benefiting from white privilege, and thus she thinks i deserve better friend than her.

i was just venting. she herself is not racist. the white guilt feels so unnecessary and it hurts that instead of just being there for me, she let her white guilt pull her away from me. it's so excessive. like i guess i get the guilt if it's about her also having unlearned antiblackness and feeling bad for those unlearned stuff, but it's not that. it's purely because she's white that she feels guilty

I was gone delete this because Black, but I think everyone needs this example. I want you to hear me:

Your friend is being racist to you.

Your friend might not MEAN to be, she may be well intentioned. But she is. You went to her to vent about your experiences with racism, believing her to be a safe ear. While I can understand that she is uncomfortable, rather than just being honest and saying "hey I'm uncomfortable with this topic and I don't know how to deal with that", she has decided to center her feelings about your experiences with racism. That helps no one, in fact it redirects the weight of the conversation. She just feels bad, and you're still experiencing racism. These two things are not the same.

Now. If it were ME, I wouldn't want to be this person's friend anymore. I need the people close to me to be on the same page; I can't lean on you if I gotta coddle you about oppressing me 😭. If I came to you to tell you I'm struggling with racism, and you made it about your white guilt, I'm not telling you shit else 😅 I see EXACTLY where the line has fallen, the limit of this relationship. But that's me! 🙌🏾

That said! If you want to mend this relationship and put it on a better path, I think you should tell her how you feel.

"If you want me to feel supported, if you want to feel like an active ally and actually do something to counter that guilt over your privilege, here are things you can do." The PDF is in one of my lessons (3, I believe) but I always recommend White Fragility by Robin diAngelo as baby's first confrontation with white guilt. Maybe hand that to her? Because she's not as "unlearned" as y'all think if this is her response. And if she don't take it, well... Balls in her court! You did what you were gone do.

it's always werewolf butch x vampire femme and never...

newbie witch butch x demon femme they accidentally summoned

demon butch x angel femme that have been annoyingly flirting with each other for eons and have done nothing about it

awkward fairy butch x elf femme who shows them off at any given time

hunter butch x wood nymph femme who got curious and started leaving flower petals in the tree stands

mermaid butch with a love for trinkets x fisher femme who only uses sparkly bait that always goes missing

“Dykes and Their Cars” by Chloe Sherman

Walt Disney Studios has a history heavily ingrained in racism and violence against Black people. Mickey Mouse is a furry minstrel OC.

The divisiveness between trans people is so fucking manufactured, stop falling for it.

well. yes!

I don't want to be a party pooper but the lesbian community still has so much fatphobia and lookism to unlearn, it's genuinely sad. I always want to elaborate but every time this topic comes around it feels like screaming at the wall.

Learn to love fat femmes. Not "because they are soft", not because there "is more to bite". Love and respect fat femmes for who they are.

Same goes for fat butches, they are not only lovable because "they are beefy" or "they can put their weight on you" or some other shit. They are lovable because they are themselves, just like you are you.

You don't have to make us feel better about ourselves with all these backhanded compliments. Just make us feel like everyone else and start viewing fat bodies as normal and desirable ones without making it weird.

Lastly, as a reminder, we gotta rise above "see there's a Black character!" as a judgment of a piece of media's inclusiveness. Okay, but did they play a role that had interiority or did they just serve as a device for the nonblack main characters and their stories?

I don't believe in giving credit for the bare minimum of "being present" anymore lol. It's okay to have standards, it's okay that everything you like won't reach them, but you don't have to lower your standards for good Black characters to "just having them"!

Just wanted y'all to have that last paragraph from my review as its own post 👍🏾