Public-charmer

My life has been so much better ever since I traded my impostor syndrome to brilliant conman -syndrome. Do I deserve anything in life? Fuck no! Will I grasp it anyway? Fuck yes!

 My art has never been worth shit, but watch me bullshit my way into art school! I am a horrid goblin, but watch me make these people like me! Am I qualified to do this task? Well I sure have the certificates that say that I am! And how did I get those? Who knows! Not me! I am so good at cheating, I don’t have to break a single rule to do it!

 I am brilliant, fast, and absolutely drunk with power!

I am an adult with ADHD. I was a child with ADHD.

What an awful acronym.

“I’m so ADHD today!”

No you’re fucking not. You don’t know what that means. It’s not:

“Oh look a squirrel”

I mean yeah, by all means look at that animal. It’s awesome… I wonder how many nuts it can hold in its cheeks… wait. Where was I?

Inattention

Attention Decficit Hyperactive Disorder. That doesn’t accurately describe my life. My life is wondering what it’s like to have quiet. My brain is never quiet. ADHD is starting this poem SEVEN times because I couldn’t decide if I wanted it to be about my disorder or about a love gone wrong… or maybe both.

Because you know what?

In the midst of thoughts of drag, work, trying to remember if I ate today and wondering how someone figured out that we could cook potatoes one hundred different ways but only like two ways to cook an eggplant; fifty percent of my rotating, ever-changing, ebbing and flowing thoughts are CONSUMED by you.

How you expect me to apologize for your assault on my brain. How I have to defend my reputation and honor from the lies you spit behind my back to fuel your twisted illusion that I’m the bad guy.

I’m not the bad guy.

And I’m not fucking immature!

I am far from immature. Being playful is far from immature. It’s creative. It’s fun. I’m not boring.

Fuck you.

Did I finish my drink? I can’t remember if I finished my drink? Do you still think you’re feeling “ADHD today”? Have you counted how many times I’ve changed the subject?

Do you still feel “ADHD today”?

Let me tell you about RSD then. Do you know what that is?

Rejection Sensitive Dsyphoria

Yeah, that’s as fun as it sounds. RSD is defined as an extreme emotional sensitivity and emotional pain triggered by the PERCEPTION, not necessarily the reality, that a person has been rejected, teased or critized by important people in their life.

YEAH. Good fucking time.

I think I’ve fucked up a lot probably because you sneezed weirdly in my direction. FUCK.

How do I fix this? Do you still like me? The tone in your voice when you said “Hi” today was different.

DAMNIT.

Where did I put my keys?

What was I talking about again?

THIS IS IMPORTANT

@markiplier is having a Stand Up To Cancer charity stream

SPREAD THE WORD

We need to raise as much money as possible

Dec 1. at 10:00 am pacific standard time

Visit markiplier.com for limited time merch

All proceeds will be donated to charity

Come for a day full of fun and laughter

me on any family outing:

me alone, reading gay fanfics:

They’re neighbors who live on opposite sides of the block, their cats are best friends, and they haven’t met, yet.

when you're trying to do online school work at home but you can't because you're in a Home Environment and not a School Environment and the Vibes are off and you're crying and shaking because the due date is coming up and you're just sitting there with unfinished work even though the assignment is So Easy but it's So Hard because you were Born Wrong and Dark Inside

Maomao is back!

(and Jinshi too I guess)

I see no difference

Finally got around to finishing these!

Oh Law.

Crappost