Toxic 📢 friendships 📢 are 📢 just 📢 as 📢 Traumatizing 📢 As 📢  relationships 📢📢📢

Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.

Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.

Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.

Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.

Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.

Source

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:)

Sausage💥

Spider-Man: Homecoming’s Gag Reel

I need pics of alex

Say no more. I alternate between two girls !

Ashley Moore and Isabella Peschardt both beautiful bbys

This is Isabella! My queen ^

This is Ashley! ^

They’re both models and it’s just how I picture Alex, so you can picture her as someone else but yeah!

I never read fics (ab anyone not just Shawn !) w poc, so I thought I’d change that. Even if just a lil

And let’s be real… Shawn would be SO FUCKING CUTE WITH ISABELLA

IF A CREEP WANTS YOUR NUMBER

A series of fake numbers to leave behind.

1-888-447-5594 - Easter egg number for finishing God of War, contains a dramatic speech. Personal favorite.

605-475-6968 - Rejection hotline, politely explains that whoever gave you this number turned ya down, buddy

888-276-6760 - The 24-hour Klu Klux Klanline where you can get a FREE INFORMATION BOOKLET!!!!1!

866-740-4531 - Only responds with “I am Groot”

206-569-5829 - Seattle radio station “Loser Line”. If they leave a weird voicemail, it could get broadcast over the airwaves.

Stay safe, people.